Seto: *onstage* *is "dying" at a bewildered Jounochi's feet* *singing*
Are you dumb?!
Or hard of hearing?
Or RELIEVED…
My end is nearing.
Are you SATISFIED?!
I've laughed myself to…
*he falls down "dead"*
Jou: Death.
Seto-haters: *singing*
Ding Dong the witch is dead!
Relick: HEY!!! .* *looks at Seto* Set-chan, you're not going to stand for that are you?!
Seto: Zzzzz…
Relick: Set-chan?
Jou: ^__^U He fell asleep…
Relick: *facefault*
Artemis: Relick, I'm tired. Can we go home?
Relick: Come on!! You guys can handle a few extra hours of rehearsal can't you?!
All(except Relick): No…
Yami: Some of our hikaris have school in the morning.
Relick: *defeated* Fine… same time tomorrow, guys!!
All: *groan*
Relick: Oh, and Jaid?
Jaid: Hmm?
Relick: I've decided to make you the 1st customer in the show, Ok?
Jaid: Ok!! But who's doing choreography?
Anzu: *smiling and waving*
Jaid: Ohhhh… I get it.
Relick: See ya tomorrow!
All: *leave, yawning and falling over each other*
*Bakura, Pegasus, Yami Kay and Yami Johanna (two of my reviewers' yamis) remain*
Bakura: That baka(stupid) Relick… she drives me crazy! She and her annoying sister…
Pegasus: I know what you mean… but what can we do about it?
Y. Kay: But… our hikaris like her.
Bakura & Pegasus: SOOO?!?!
Y. Kay: *laughs nervously* OK… point taken.
Y. Johanna: What do you propose we do, Bakura?
Bakura: *snickers* I'll tell you…
*~*~*THE NEXT DAY*~*~*
Isis: *hugging Malik* Does your eye still hurt, Malik-chan?
Malik: *holding an icepack on his right eye* Yeah…that Artemis sure packs a punch…
Isis: Well… you did put Jou in the hospital in the original manga…
Malik: IT WASN'T ME!!! IT WAS MY YAMI'S FAULT!!!!
*Jou and Mai walk in*
Jou: YESSSS! Katsuya Jounochi and his lovely sidekick Mai Kujaku are back!!!
Mai: HEY!! Who made me your sidekick?
Jou: *uneasy* Uhhh… heh heh…
Ryou: *comes in with a very good mood*
Seto: Why are you so happy?
Ryou: Bakura wasn't home all night, so I woke up this morning without so much as a scratch!
Anzu: He really beats up on you, doesn't he?
Artemis: *dashes in holding a videotape* You guys!!! Relick's disappeared!!
All: NANI!?!?
Yugi: Wh-where is she?
Artemis: If I knew, I wouldn't have said she disappeared.
Rayne: Well, maybe that video says something…
Artemis: Good idea! *puts the video in a very mysterious VCR*
*Relick appears on screen. She is tied up and surrounded by many intimidatingly large men.*
Relick: *on screen* *all smiles* Hey there, everybody. I've really gotten myself into quite a mess. It seems I accidentally trespassed into some war zone thingy and have been taken prisoner.
Yugi: This seems to be right out of an episode of Excel Saga…
Artemis: *suddenly VERY upset* *shaking the screen* WE DON'T OWN EXCEL SAGA!!!! WE DON'T OWN EXCEL SAGA!!
Malik: Jeez… calm down Artemis.
Artemis: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, MURDERER!!
Malik: I TOLD YOU!! IT WAS MY YAMI!!!
Mai: Will you two just shut up? I'm trying to listen.
Relick: *on screen* Life here is so unfair. I have NOT been given the right to remain silent. I have NOT been given the right to call an attorney. I have NOT been given the right to watch all my favorite anime. But, I did make some new friends here. *gun fires in the background* But their numbers seem to dwindle as the days go by…
Reviewers: *all exchange worried looks*
Relick: *on screen* Anyway, I've really gotta get out of here before I end up like some of the previous visitors. *holds up a skull, smiling* I'll catch up with you guys when I finally get out of here. *screen goes blank*
Yugi: *very determined and heroic* We've got to go and save her!
Artemis: We definitely will! Without Relick, there's no story.
Reviewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Artemis: So that's why we have to save her!
KAL: Let's go!
Yugi: Onward troops! YAAAH!! *leads Artemis and reviewers out of the theater to wherever Relick is being held*
Bakura: *to Pegasus* They'll never find Relick where we stashed her.
Pegasus: *laughs in his strange nasally way*
Yami: What are you two snickering about?
Bakura & Pegasus: *try to look innocent*
Yami: *glares at them suspiciously *
Bakura & Pegasus: *try even harder to look innocent*
Mokuba: Well, I guess we can all go home…
Seto: Great! C'mon Mokuba. *attempts to open the door* Hey! It's locked!
Mokuba: *notices a sticky note on the door* *reading* Hey everybody! So no one else gets kidnapped by bad guys, I locked all the exits and superglued them shut. See ya later. Love, Artemis.
Bakura: *stops snickering* Y-you mean we're stuck in here?
Mokuba: That seems to be the case.
*Seto, Yami, and Bakura exchange "I hate you" looks*
Seto: *pulls out a laptop*
Yami: Kaiba, what are you doing?
Seto: Just because I'm stuck in the same room and the same production as you doesn't mean I have to converse with you. *starts surfing the net*
Pegasus: *signals for Bakura to come with him*
Bakura: *does*
Ryou: *looks curious and follows them*
*~*~*BACKSTAGE*~*~*
*Bakura and Pegasus are laughing evilly and destroying everything in the prop room. Ryou is hiding behind a drumset*
Bakura: Ooooh… this is gonna be good.
Pegasus: *nods in agreement*
Bakura: They have no idea that WE were the ones who sent Relick to that place. Now she will pay for not giving us good parts.
Pegasus: Well…actually…*embarrassed* I'm the "Voice Not Unlike God's" in the beginning…
Bakura: WHAT!?! Well, that's beside the point. She will pay for not giving ME a good part.
Ryou: *jumps out of hiding* A-HA!! So YOU were the ones who plotted against the authoress! You guys are so busted!
Bakura: *grabs Ryou and twists his arm* Come with me…
Ryou: *horrified* NO! NO! PLEASE! DON'T BE MAD!!
Bakura: *stuffs poor Ryou-chan into a closet with a look of menace on his face*
*The reader's monitor suddenly goes blank. The words "Please Stand By…" are written in big, friendly letters*
Relick's Voice: Are we on?
Artemis's Voice: Yes, just start!
Relick: A-hem…We interrupt this fanfic to bring you an important message. Because of the sudden act of violence threatening the "G" rating of this story, Yugioh Takes the Stage is proud to present these commercials.
Seto's Voice: Do we have to?
Relick: Yes!
*Seto, Yami, and Yugi are surrounded by very round, very kawaii, very pink Jigglypuffs.*
KAL's Voice: Parents, you remember when. Well it's back again! The Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff!
*Two hands, presumably Bakura's, is holding a Jigglypuff in one hand and a fork in the other*
KAL: Ordinary Jigglypuff go pop!
*Bakura sticks the fork in the Jigglypuff's stomach. It explodes.*
Yugi: *makes a noise in terror*
KAL: But Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff do not!
*Bakura sticks the fork in the second Jigglypuff's stomach.*
Jigglypuff: *looks at the giant hole in its stomach* Jiggly?
Yugi: *faints*
Yami: Yugi?
Mysterious Disembodied Voice: The Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff is not available in stores. In fact, it's not available at all, because it doesn't exist. Call 1-800-POP. That's 1-800-POP. Sorry no CODs.
Relick: Oh! It seems the violent part of the story has ended.
Malik: Couldn't we have just done a "meanwhile on stage" scene?
Relick: Errr…Uhhh… this is more…fun?
*Screen goes blank again. "We now return to our regularly scheduled fanfic."*
Artemis: *runs into the theater* (a/n: How Ary-chan was able to run into a locked and superglued door is beyond me, so it's anyone's guess)
Mokuba: Artemis! You're back!
Relick: Hey everybody! I'm back!
Seto: You mean they actually SAVED you?
Relick: Of course! They really love me you know.
Kay: Actually, it was Yugi's brave heart that led us to you!
Relick: *touched* Oh! Yugi-chan! *gives Yugi a little kiss on the head*
Yugi: *blushes* Aw, shucks it was nothing.
Relick: No, it was definitely something!
Yugi: *giggles shyly*
Seto: *looks extremely angry* *under his breath* How…dare…he…
Mokuba: *noticing his brother's change in attitude* Seto? What's wrong?
Seto: *pointing over to Yugi and Relick* THAT!!!
Mokuba: *looks* So? You hate Relick.
Seto: It's not that, it the principle of the matter! *marches over to Relick who is giving, Yugi lots of hugs*
Relick: Yugi-chan, you're the bestest!
Seto: *grabs Relick from behind and spins her around* *to the readers* All my fangirls, I'm sorry about this…*locks lips with Relick*
Relick: O___O!! *after a second gets into it*
Artemis: *smiles mischievously at Jou* *grabs him, dips him, and kisses him very roughly*
Jou: O__O;;;
Deena: *pops in mysteriously* Baka-chan!!! *starts chasing Bakura*
Bakura: Stay away from me, evil woman of another world!!!
*All fangirls start chasing after their respective favorites*
Cast: HEEEELLLLP!!!
Artemis: *stops kissing Jou for a second* Hey! Who do you think makes a cuter couple? Relick and Seto or me and Jou? *continues kissing a rather resistant Jou*
Relick's Favorite Clip From the Chapter:
KAL: Ordinary Jigglypuff go pop!
*Bakura sticks the fork in the Jigglypuff's stomach. It explodes.*
Yugi: *makes a noise in terror*
KAL: But Amazing Elastic Plastic Jigglypuff do not!
*Bakura sticks the fork in the second Jigglypuff's stomach.*
Jigglypuff: *looks at the giant hole in its stomach* Jiggly?
Yugi: *faints*
Yami: Yugi?