My Satin Doll

By: Thief

Chapter Four: I'm Just Like You

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Author's notes: This was the original Chapter Two…some of it anyway…but things happen, I hope you enjoy it. Hey, you made it to chapter four, go you! 

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       Ilana sprinted down the stairs to Severus Snape's office. She skid to a halt outside his door and after a few deep breaths to calm herself, she elevated her hand and knocked on the door.

       "Enter," she heard a bored voice say. Ilana opened the door and peaked in, she wasn't sure what she expected his office to look like, but the slimy things in the jars, the cold, and the minuscule light fit what she whatever it was she would have imaged perfectly. Severus was holding a piece of parchment in his left hand and a coffee mug in his right. Ilana could see that a quill was tucked away behind his right ear. As she closed the door, Severus set down his coffee cup, reached behind his ear, pulled out the quill and wrote something on the parchment he was holding. Then he grabbed another paper and once again picked up his coffee. He didn't seem to notice that she was even in the room. Jeez, what a jerk, Ilana thought, annoyed. She started to tap her foot: a reaction she developed to hurry Lily along in the morning back at school, now she just did it when she bored or annoyed.

       Severus set his coffee cup down and lifted his eyes to her face. "Ms. Miren, would you please stop that irritating tapping?" he asked coldly. Ilana ceased her foot tapping and sat down in the chair in front of his desk.

       "So, what have you being doing since I've last seen you? Not on Monday but at Hogwarts," Ilana asked, waving her wand and conjuring a cup of coffee (with two sugars) for herself and also some toast and marmalade on a little plate. Severus gave her a sideways glance as she sat back down. "Well?" she asked, referring to her question.

       "Enjoying your little picnic?" he asked, in what sounded like amusement.

       "Do you always answer a question with another question?"

       "Alright, I'll tell you… I became a teacher, isn't that fascinating?" 

       Ilana rolled her eyes and in a cynical tone said, "Considering no one with half a brain would even consider leaving you with their children, yes."

       "Why are you here?" Severus asked, growing a little annoyed with this human interaction.

       "Sorry, I forgot that you're not skilled in the art of civilized conversation, please forgive me," she said, dismissing his question. The man has powers of aggravation that far surpass those of mere mortals.

       "My, haven't we become the sarcasm poster girl," Severus gave a fake sigh. "What in the world happened to you?"

       "Meh, I am what you created me to be," Ilana said taking a bite out of her toast and marmalade.

       "Touché," Severus said causing Ilana to laugh.

       "Remember back in the day when you were forced to help me out with potions?" Ilana asked.

       "Please, don't bring up those horrible memories," he ordered, wincing overdramatically. "That jacket still has those stains on it," Ilana would have reached over and smacked him, but she needed him.

       "I just wanted to say thanks," Ilana said seriously. "I never did back at school… well… I did once but you got bitchy at me over it or something so I never did it again."

       "You shouldn't be saying thanks, you should be saying 'I'm sorry for kicking you, hitting you, breaking your nose, waging war with your girlfriend, blowing potions up in your face…'"

       "Well, you should be saying 'I'm sorry for calling you names, pulling your hair, making you feel stupid, nearly killing your boyfriend, tearing my wings…"

       "Hey! You are stupid, your boyfriend nearly killed me, and the wing incident was an accident and you know it!" 

       "Well, your girlfriend was conceded and started the war. Just because she was afraid that she was no longer going to be the prettiest girl at Hogwarts, you deserved the physical abuse, and don't you dare blame me for the buldger incident."

       "I'm going to ask again, Miren, why are you here?" Severus asked again.

       "To talk to you," Ilana said.

       "You're that starved for conversation?" Severus asked. Ilana looked downward, where she noticed that she was fiddling with her hands.

       Damn it, I hate it when he's right! Ilana thought. Why am I doing this!?

       "Could you make this quick?" Severus asked, going back to grading his papers. "Lucius Malfoy is here on inspection and he has invited me to have tea with him."

       Oh yeah, that's why, Ilana smiled weakly. "Umm, speaking of Malfoy, I need a favor." Severus raised an eyebrow.

       "A what?" he asked in disbelief.

       "A favor… a rather big one actually…" Ilana said weakly.

       "And what makes you think I would do this favor, whatever it is, for you?"

       "Because without me you'd still be at Hogwarts trying to pass your transfiguration exams and I saved your life!" Ilana said in a voice that seemed to lower the temperature even further.

       "What do you want," Severus sighed. Picking up his coffee mug and taking a sip.

       "Pretty simple actually," Ilana said cheerfully. "I just need you to pretend to be my boyfriend! There, I said it." Severus nearly chocked on his coffee.

       "Gwa… what!?"

       "I told you, I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend," Ilana said again. Severus looked at her as if she was out of her mind.

       "Please tell me you're joking…" Severus said.

       "Nope! Please, Severus, I need you to do this for me!" Ilana begged. Severus rubbed his temples and let out a long sigh.

       "Dare I ask why me? You could have easily gotten Lockhart to be your bitch." Severus said.

       "Because I told Malfoy I was dating you," Ilana said straight-faced. Severus just stared at her in utter disbelief, the girl had some gall. 

       "You've got to kidding… you told Lucius Malfoy that you and I are a couple? WHY!?" he practically whined.

       "He insulted… how do I say this… my sex appeal? Said that no true wizard would ever have me, or something along those lines… If it was anyone but him I wouldn't have cared." Ilana said softly, as if to herself.

       "Why is it so important what Malfoy thinks?" Severus asked, curious.

       "Sore wa himitsu desu," Ilana said with a wink, which made Severus raised an eyebrow in question to her answer. "That's a secret," she translated. 

       "Do I get benefits other boyfriends get?" Severus asked nonchalantly. Ilana's eyes grew and she stared at Severus: letting her imagination think of the different meanings of what he said. Severus shook his head when he saw that look on her face.

       "Nothing as vulgar as what you are thinking, Miren. I mean respect, common courtesy. I'm not interested in making out in the hallways of Hogwarts."

       "How about an occasional snuggle and a few stolen kisses between classes?" Ilana asked cautiously. "I want this to look real; you were a decent actor in Muggle Studies if I remember right."

       "Ah, yes, Professor Marinette and her only two loves of the Muggle world: Rock and Roll and Theater." Ilana laughed aloud

       "So, will you do it?" she asked.

       "Yes, and speaking of those boyfriend benefits, see those papers on my desk? Grade them, I'm going to tea." And with that, he exited the door. Ilana smiled and sat down behind his desk. This won't be so bad, Ilana thought as she picked up a piece of paper and began to read it.

***Fin Chapter 4***

Severus: Wow, you actually had me almost in character.

Thief: Yay, you gave me a complement…sorta! *hugs Sevvi*

Severus: Get off me and write chapter five!

Thief: In a minute. *goes back to hugging Sevvi*