Hogwarts...The 'Insane' Asylum
By: DracoLishuzZ
Disclaimer: eh? uhm...me no no own nothing... T-T lol because...because...J.K Rowling took my ideas and put them in a book...*sniff*...SIKE! she didn't do that...But I did that...muahahah!
NOTE MUST READ: I MADE UP THESE STUPID NICKNAMES FOR EM! SOME WITH MY FRIEND GIENAH AND OTHERS MADE UP!!! SO I WOULD GLADLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T USE THEM AS YOUR OWN!
Chapter 2: Hermione's Not So Secret, Secret
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Hermione crept down to the dungeons. She just came back from Flitwick's office to "talk about charms". Now she had to go down to Snape's office to "talk about potions". She came to Snape's dungeon and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Said a voice from the other side.
Hermione walked into the classroom her cloak covering up her body for she wasn't wearing anything besides that stupid cloak.
"Ah...Hermione! About time, too!" Snape said brightly and clapped his hands together. Hermione walked closer to Snape and laid her lips on his...greasy...oily...well you get the picture...lips and they were at it for about 15 minutes...*disturbing...eeeek!*
Ginny walked down the halls to the dungeons. She forgot her book bag in Snape's potions class. How in hell could I forget it? She thought as she practically ran down the dungeons and ran into Drakiepoo-poo *I have no clue why I called him that...* and Crabbers and Gargoyle *me and gien's nicknames for Crabbe and Goyle...*
"Oh looky at who it isy!" Draco 'Malicious' Malfoy said.
"Don't mind him he just sniffed a lot of cocaine up his nose..." Gargoyle explained to Ginny.
Ginny looked at Draco then to Goyle then to Crabbe and back again to Draco who now had a nosebleed.
"Oh looky! Bloody isy rushingy downy my nosy!" Draco said and licked the blood running down to his mouth from his (as Draco puts it) nosy!
"Uhh...yeaaaah..." Ginny said. "Look you dumbasses I have to get my book bag from Snape's classroom or I'm gonna fail every single motherfucking class I'm in so move it!" Ginny yelled.
"Ehehehehe! We gotta movey ity!" Draco said and signaled for Crabbe and Goyle to follow him, which of course they did...
Ginny rolled her eyes and marched off to Snape's classroom. She didn't bother to knock because she thought that Snape would be all alone giving bad grades to everyone in Gryffindor besides Hermione for some reason. Ginny entered the classroom didn't bother to look at what Snape was doing with Hermione...wait! HERMIONE?! WHOA! Ok anyway...Ginny picked up her book bag and started for the door but as she looked up at the desk she saw Hermione butt naked giving Snape a lap dance...
"What the bloody fuck is going on...?" Ginny said quite loudly so they could hear her. Hermione suddenly stopped dancing and Snape looked at who made the noise.
"Oh dear God...It seems like we've been discovered by a certain red head..." Snape muttered and pushed Hermione off his lap.
Hermione thought it was Ron but she didn't know much of anything so she said, "RON OH GOD I AM SO SORRY!" but when she figured out it was GINNY she immediately said, "Oh Ginny it's you..."
"Yes, it's me..." Ginny said through clenched teeth.
"Uhm...Ginny I'll give you very good grades throughout the rest of the year if you don't tell anyone!" Snape said.
"That was sick...I am so totally fucking scarred for life..." Ginny said and ran out of the classroom.
"Er...I'll take that as a yes..." Snape said and took Ginny's Veritaserum Essay and gave it an O for outstanding.
"Uhm...I think I'll go now..." Hermione said and took her cloak wrapped it around her and left Snape there.
As the next day came which of course was a very sunny Saturday Ginny walked around muttering like she was insane. (Muaha...got the idea from That 70's Show when Forman saw his parents mating like they were on the Discovery Channel muahahah!)
"Ginny what's wrong?" A very confused premature Harry squeaked at her as they walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
"They were not having sex!" Ginny said very fast and ran down to the Gryffindor table.
For the rest of the day if anyone talked to Ginny she would say random things about what she witnessed last night. She'd say things like, "Don't talk about Snape to me!" and "Hermione! EEK!". Most people thought she was going insane but Dumbledore and Snape and Hermione knew why she was acting like she was. So that night at exactly 7:00 she got a note from the Headmaster to meet him in his office along with Hermione and Professor Snape.
"You wanted to see me, Headmaster?" Ginny said and her right eye twitched as she saw Professor Snape and Hermione was there with her.
"Yes, Ginny...I am aware that you saw Professor Snape and Hermione last night doing things they shouldn't be doing," Professor Dumbledore said calmly.
"How do you know?" Ginny asked with curiosity.
"Uh...let's not talk about that part...yet," Dumbledore said. "I for one forbid Hermione to stop this nonsense about sleeping with the teachers to get good grades...that's what the muggles do," He added.
"Yes, Headmaster, sir," Hermione said to the floor.
"Ok, ok, ok get to the part of how the fuck you witnessed this!" Ginny said.
"Calm down, firehead!" Snape said.
"Severus I will not allow you to talk to my students like that unless I talk to them like that!" Dumbledore said. "Anyway, Ginny, I'll get to that part after I paint my toenails! It's exactly...7:05 and that is the time I paint my toenails," Dumbledore said and took out some dooky colored nail polish and started apainting.
After the headmaster finished his painting of his nails he laid his feet out on his rug and blew on them so they could dry "faster".
"Well since I'm done painting my nails!" Dumbledore squealed with delight as he wiggled his toes. "I will explain how I witnessed this!"
"Finally..." Ginny muttered under her breath.
"Well...seeing that yesterday night Hermione and Snape were not in the Great Hall enjoying the wonderful dinner that the elveys have prepared I decided to go look for them. Sooner or later I found Hermione walking along the corridors and into Snape's classroom. Luckily I brought along my invisibility cloak and got inside before Hermione locked the door. Then a few minutes later you, Ginny, entered the room. I was quite amused when you walked right past me and got to get you're bag. Then as you all know everything else happened and I ran out the room when Hermione left and...well...i'm not really good at explaining things..." He said quite calmly and slowly.
"Headmaster...are you going to sack me?" Snape said hopefully.
"No, I will not sack you, Severus...BUT I will make you do something..." Dumbledore said and winked.
Snape gulped.
"Professor Dumbledore sir...May we and Ginny leave?" Hermione asked.
"Why yes, of course!" Dumbledore said and waved his hand signaling them to leave.
As they were walking up to their Common Room they ran into Harry sexually harassing Colin Creevey. So they stopped right were they where and stared at the scene unfolding right under their eyes.
"Colin! Gosh, you have such a nice soft ass!" Harry said grabbing it.
"Ouch! Harry...can I take a picture of you doing this?" Colin asked.
"Why? Then everyone will find out..." Harry said and clamped his teeth on Colin's right butt cheek.
"Owie!" Colin said and tried to pry himself out of Harry's mouth.
"Harry...What the fuck are you doing?" Ginny said.
As those words hit Harry's ear he looked up; let go of Colin; and stared at Hermione and Ginny.
"Don't tell anyone..." Harry said and ran to the fat lady's portrait.
"That was odd..." Hermione said.
"Not as odd as you fucking Snape!" Ginny said laughing.
"Mudblood fucked Snape?" Said an amused voice from behind.
"Ehehe...Hi, Draco..." Hermione said a fake smile plastered on her face as she turned around.
"Yeah she gave him a lapdance!" Ginny said and Hermione elbowed her in the stomach.
"This is true? HAHAHA! I'm gonna have a field day on this one, Granger!" Draco said and walked right past them screaming "GRANGER DID PROFESSOR SNAPE! TEACHERS AND STUDENTS...BEWARE OF THE DISGUSTING STRAIGHT OUTSTANDING WHORE!"
Hermione turned to Ginny in disgust while Ginny just kept giggling her ass off.
"Now look what you've done!" Hermione said in disgust and ran off to the girls bathroom to cry.
"Haha...SORRY!" Ginny yelled at the retreating Hermione. Ginny felt like she wanted to share this news with the whole of Gryffindor before Malfoy shares it even more; so Ginny ran to the Common Room and told everyone.
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Haha...this chapter was kinda stupid...lol. Anyway next chapter is: Ron Is Stoned...and BUSTED!
By: DracoLishuzZ
Disclaimer: eh? uhm...me no no own nothing... T-T lol because...because...J.K Rowling took my ideas and put them in a book...*sniff*...SIKE! she didn't do that...But I did that...muahahah!
NOTE MUST READ: I MADE UP THESE STUPID NICKNAMES FOR EM! SOME WITH MY FRIEND GIENAH AND OTHERS MADE UP!!! SO I WOULD GLADLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU DIDN'T USE THEM AS YOUR OWN!
Chapter 2: Hermione's Not So Secret, Secret
-=-=-=-
Hermione crept down to the dungeons. She just came back from Flitwick's office to "talk about charms". Now she had to go down to Snape's office to "talk about potions". She came to Snape's dungeon and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Said a voice from the other side.
Hermione walked into the classroom her cloak covering up her body for she wasn't wearing anything besides that stupid cloak.
"Ah...Hermione! About time, too!" Snape said brightly and clapped his hands together. Hermione walked closer to Snape and laid her lips on his...greasy...oily...well you get the picture...lips and they were at it for about 15 minutes...*disturbing...eeeek!*
Ginny walked down the halls to the dungeons. She forgot her book bag in Snape's potions class. How in hell could I forget it? She thought as she practically ran down the dungeons and ran into Drakiepoo-poo *I have no clue why I called him that...* and Crabbers and Gargoyle *me and gien's nicknames for Crabbe and Goyle...*
"Oh looky at who it isy!" Draco 'Malicious' Malfoy said.
"Don't mind him he just sniffed a lot of cocaine up his nose..." Gargoyle explained to Ginny.
Ginny looked at Draco then to Goyle then to Crabbe and back again to Draco who now had a nosebleed.
"Oh looky! Bloody isy rushingy downy my nosy!" Draco said and licked the blood running down to his mouth from his (as Draco puts it) nosy!
"Uhh...yeaaaah..." Ginny said. "Look you dumbasses I have to get my book bag from Snape's classroom or I'm gonna fail every single motherfucking class I'm in so move it!" Ginny yelled.
"Ehehehehe! We gotta movey ity!" Draco said and signaled for Crabbe and Goyle to follow him, which of course they did...
Ginny rolled her eyes and marched off to Snape's classroom. She didn't bother to knock because she thought that Snape would be all alone giving bad grades to everyone in Gryffindor besides Hermione for some reason. Ginny entered the classroom didn't bother to look at what Snape was doing with Hermione...wait! HERMIONE?! WHOA! Ok anyway...Ginny picked up her book bag and started for the door but as she looked up at the desk she saw Hermione butt naked giving Snape a lap dance...
"What the bloody fuck is going on...?" Ginny said quite loudly so they could hear her. Hermione suddenly stopped dancing and Snape looked at who made the noise.
"Oh dear God...It seems like we've been discovered by a certain red head..." Snape muttered and pushed Hermione off his lap.
Hermione thought it was Ron but she didn't know much of anything so she said, "RON OH GOD I AM SO SORRY!" but when she figured out it was GINNY she immediately said, "Oh Ginny it's you..."
"Yes, it's me..." Ginny said through clenched teeth.
"Uhm...Ginny I'll give you very good grades throughout the rest of the year if you don't tell anyone!" Snape said.
"That was sick...I am so totally fucking scarred for life..." Ginny said and ran out of the classroom.
"Er...I'll take that as a yes..." Snape said and took Ginny's Veritaserum Essay and gave it an O for outstanding.
"Uhm...I think I'll go now..." Hermione said and took her cloak wrapped it around her and left Snape there.
As the next day came which of course was a very sunny Saturday Ginny walked around muttering like she was insane. (Muaha...got the idea from That 70's Show when Forman saw his parents mating like they were on the Discovery Channel muahahah!)
"Ginny what's wrong?" A very confused premature Harry squeaked at her as they walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
"They were not having sex!" Ginny said very fast and ran down to the Gryffindor table.
For the rest of the day if anyone talked to Ginny she would say random things about what she witnessed last night. She'd say things like, "Don't talk about Snape to me!" and "Hermione! EEK!". Most people thought she was going insane but Dumbledore and Snape and Hermione knew why she was acting like she was. So that night at exactly 7:00 she got a note from the Headmaster to meet him in his office along with Hermione and Professor Snape.
"You wanted to see me, Headmaster?" Ginny said and her right eye twitched as she saw Professor Snape and Hermione was there with her.
"Yes, Ginny...I am aware that you saw Professor Snape and Hermione last night doing things they shouldn't be doing," Professor Dumbledore said calmly.
"How do you know?" Ginny asked with curiosity.
"Uh...let's not talk about that part...yet," Dumbledore said. "I for one forbid Hermione to stop this nonsense about sleeping with the teachers to get good grades...that's what the muggles do," He added.
"Yes, Headmaster, sir," Hermione said to the floor.
"Ok, ok, ok get to the part of how the fuck you witnessed this!" Ginny said.
"Calm down, firehead!" Snape said.
"Severus I will not allow you to talk to my students like that unless I talk to them like that!" Dumbledore said. "Anyway, Ginny, I'll get to that part after I paint my toenails! It's exactly...7:05 and that is the time I paint my toenails," Dumbledore said and took out some dooky colored nail polish and started apainting.
After the headmaster finished his painting of his nails he laid his feet out on his rug and blew on them so they could dry "faster".
"Well since I'm done painting my nails!" Dumbledore squealed with delight as he wiggled his toes. "I will explain how I witnessed this!"
"Finally..." Ginny muttered under her breath.
"Well...seeing that yesterday night Hermione and Snape were not in the Great Hall enjoying the wonderful dinner that the elveys have prepared I decided to go look for them. Sooner or later I found Hermione walking along the corridors and into Snape's classroom. Luckily I brought along my invisibility cloak and got inside before Hermione locked the door. Then a few minutes later you, Ginny, entered the room. I was quite amused when you walked right past me and got to get you're bag. Then as you all know everything else happened and I ran out the room when Hermione left and...well...i'm not really good at explaining things..." He said quite calmly and slowly.
"Headmaster...are you going to sack me?" Snape said hopefully.
"No, I will not sack you, Severus...BUT I will make you do something..." Dumbledore said and winked.
Snape gulped.
"Professor Dumbledore sir...May we and Ginny leave?" Hermione asked.
"Why yes, of course!" Dumbledore said and waved his hand signaling them to leave.
As they were walking up to their Common Room they ran into Harry sexually harassing Colin Creevey. So they stopped right were they where and stared at the scene unfolding right under their eyes.
"Colin! Gosh, you have such a nice soft ass!" Harry said grabbing it.
"Ouch! Harry...can I take a picture of you doing this?" Colin asked.
"Why? Then everyone will find out..." Harry said and clamped his teeth on Colin's right butt cheek.
"Owie!" Colin said and tried to pry himself out of Harry's mouth.
"Harry...What the fuck are you doing?" Ginny said.
As those words hit Harry's ear he looked up; let go of Colin; and stared at Hermione and Ginny.
"Don't tell anyone..." Harry said and ran to the fat lady's portrait.
"That was odd..." Hermione said.
"Not as odd as you fucking Snape!" Ginny said laughing.
"Mudblood fucked Snape?" Said an amused voice from behind.
"Ehehe...Hi, Draco..." Hermione said a fake smile plastered on her face as she turned around.
"Yeah she gave him a lapdance!" Ginny said and Hermione elbowed her in the stomach.
"This is true? HAHAHA! I'm gonna have a field day on this one, Granger!" Draco said and walked right past them screaming "GRANGER DID PROFESSOR SNAPE! TEACHERS AND STUDENTS...BEWARE OF THE DISGUSTING STRAIGHT OUTSTANDING WHORE!"
Hermione turned to Ginny in disgust while Ginny just kept giggling her ass off.
"Now look what you've done!" Hermione said in disgust and ran off to the girls bathroom to cry.
"Haha...SORRY!" Ginny yelled at the retreating Hermione. Ginny felt like she wanted to share this news with the whole of Gryffindor before Malfoy shares it even more; so Ginny ran to the Common Room and told everyone.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Haha...this chapter was kinda stupid...lol. Anyway next chapter is: Ron Is Stoned...and BUSTED!