Florabama
Disclaimer: See chapter one.
AN: Ah yes another update... this one should be long.
Kapies: Keyword "should".
Chapter 2: Meetings
Thranduil stared at the poorly dressed man in repulsion. He smelled of something close to the hobbits pipe weed and stale alcohol; also the constant spitting of that brown tar was repulsive. He then turned his attention to the dogs at the right. He opened his mouth to say something but Elrond cut him off.
"Allow me." The raven-haired elf lord turned to look directly at the barking dogs; his back to the rest of the party. In a matter of seconds the dogs fell silent and lay down on the dead grass. Only those who knew him for years (mainly the twins, Glorfindel and Aragorn) knew what he had done to gain that reaction. The raised eyebrows, the one look that could make them very quickly remember who was the lord of the house.
All of them noticed that this agitated the human man. He spat a large wad of that brown stuff in the elf lord's direction and swore viciously. " What'd ya do to my dogs!?" Then he took in the look of the elves. " What are ya'll a bunch of them sissy fags from the city?"
"Please do not speak." Legolas said, rubbing his ears. "You're voice is loud and crude."
The man clearly didn't know what this meant, but at least he was silent.
Gandalf took this as his cue to speak. " Sir I am very sorry if we have stumbled onto your property without your permission, we got turned around and-"
"Ya'll lost?"
"Indeed we are." Pip said peeking out from behind Eomer, his eyes fixed on the dogs.
" We are trying to find this address. " Gandalf said fumbling with a black piece of paper. After getting it unfolded he gave to the man to have a look over.
"I know where dat be. Why don't ya'll come in? I'll give 'em a call for ya."
All people above the height of three feet, except for Gandalf, seemed to think this was a bad idea but followed the istari into the, ' Mobile Home', as the human called it.
"What of your dogs?" Merry asked, before he walked in.
The man turned to the dogs and whistled. " Killer! Butch! Man-eater! Kujo! Rabies! Fluffy! Get back in da shed! I said get!" Then slammed the screen door shut, followed by the wooden door. " Can't let all da bought air out." He explained.
Aragorn examined the surroundings; the space was very small and cramped. There were what he assumed chairs, that the man unfolded for them to sit in. The floor had some brown shaggy, what he assumed where, rugs. An odd fireless torch hung upside down from the ceiling lighting the room and drawing insects to it. But the walls....
The majority of the walls contained either paintings of scantly clad women, or animal heads.
Everyone was staring at the walls, but only Legolas, Elrohir, and Elladan where staring, not at the animals, but the scantly clad women. There eyes taking in the difference between "sleek and slender" elven maids and well figured (and endowed) human females. A sight appreciated by most all males, but Aragorn would be dammed he'd tell Arwen that.
"Well...I just gave 'em a holler." The man said sitting down and opening a strange can, which he drank the contents of." They should be here shortly...ya'll wanna beer?" and he tossed each of them a can.
Legolas opened the can and wrinkled his nose at the smell. Glorfindel cautiously took a sip then spit it out. The only ones who appreciated it where the hobbits.
While they waited the man began to tell them many different things about the land and some of the customs. He was mostly ignored. Thranduil several times had to cuff Legolas on the ear and remind him that staring at the paintings of human females would do him no good; he still had to marry an elven maid. This issued much child like pouting from the blonde prince.
Glorfindel would stare at them wondering what Taraqwen would look like dressed like that; then found himself wonder why he would want to know. He blamed it on what little of the human's "beer" he had consumed. Obviously it affected ones mind if you took into account what it was doing to the hobbits.
"Damn! Where in the sam hill are they? It 'bout almost midnight." The man said standing up and knocking over what he called" a lawn chair." A whistling sound went right to the human, and then a dart appeared in his neck.
He swayed a little and collapsed into a peaceful sleep.
"KIM! I told you he wasn't a threat!"
"It slipped, I swear!"
The screen door opened to revile two girls, about fifteen years of age. Both somewhat.... thick (a saying they use in the south as a polite way of saying "fat".) Both with brown hair and in green pants with black tops. The one with glasses glared at the taller one until she turned her attention back to the rest present.
"Mae Govenn." She said and bowed.
"...Hi.... Katie are you sure Kenshien didn't need any help this week?"
"Yes, now can it. Mr. Gandalf I see ya'll got a little lost?"
"Indeed." Gandalf said following the two out of the " Mobile Home."
Confused the rest of the party followed.
End of chapter 2
AN: Finally Kapies beta read something!
Thranduil: Yes and it didn't turn out to bad for us elves.
Kapies: ...this time.
AN: I swear chapter 3 will be at least 6 to 9 pages long seeing as how I have a whole lot to get in there, but right now both Kapies and I are taking our finals for 10th grade. -.-
Disclaimer: See chapter one.
AN: Ah yes another update... this one should be long.
Kapies: Keyword "should".
Chapter 2: Meetings
Thranduil stared at the poorly dressed man in repulsion. He smelled of something close to the hobbits pipe weed and stale alcohol; also the constant spitting of that brown tar was repulsive. He then turned his attention to the dogs at the right. He opened his mouth to say something but Elrond cut him off.
"Allow me." The raven-haired elf lord turned to look directly at the barking dogs; his back to the rest of the party. In a matter of seconds the dogs fell silent and lay down on the dead grass. Only those who knew him for years (mainly the twins, Glorfindel and Aragorn) knew what he had done to gain that reaction. The raised eyebrows, the one look that could make them very quickly remember who was the lord of the house.
All of them noticed that this agitated the human man. He spat a large wad of that brown stuff in the elf lord's direction and swore viciously. " What'd ya do to my dogs!?" Then he took in the look of the elves. " What are ya'll a bunch of them sissy fags from the city?"
"Please do not speak." Legolas said, rubbing his ears. "You're voice is loud and crude."
The man clearly didn't know what this meant, but at least he was silent.
Gandalf took this as his cue to speak. " Sir I am very sorry if we have stumbled onto your property without your permission, we got turned around and-"
"Ya'll lost?"
"Indeed we are." Pip said peeking out from behind Eomer, his eyes fixed on the dogs.
" We are trying to find this address. " Gandalf said fumbling with a black piece of paper. After getting it unfolded he gave to the man to have a look over.
"I know where dat be. Why don't ya'll come in? I'll give 'em a call for ya."
All people above the height of three feet, except for Gandalf, seemed to think this was a bad idea but followed the istari into the, ' Mobile Home', as the human called it.
"What of your dogs?" Merry asked, before he walked in.
The man turned to the dogs and whistled. " Killer! Butch! Man-eater! Kujo! Rabies! Fluffy! Get back in da shed! I said get!" Then slammed the screen door shut, followed by the wooden door. " Can't let all da bought air out." He explained.
Aragorn examined the surroundings; the space was very small and cramped. There were what he assumed chairs, that the man unfolded for them to sit in. The floor had some brown shaggy, what he assumed where, rugs. An odd fireless torch hung upside down from the ceiling lighting the room and drawing insects to it. But the walls....
The majority of the walls contained either paintings of scantly clad women, or animal heads.
Everyone was staring at the walls, but only Legolas, Elrohir, and Elladan where staring, not at the animals, but the scantly clad women. There eyes taking in the difference between "sleek and slender" elven maids and well figured (and endowed) human females. A sight appreciated by most all males, but Aragorn would be dammed he'd tell Arwen that.
"Well...I just gave 'em a holler." The man said sitting down and opening a strange can, which he drank the contents of." They should be here shortly...ya'll wanna beer?" and he tossed each of them a can.
Legolas opened the can and wrinkled his nose at the smell. Glorfindel cautiously took a sip then spit it out. The only ones who appreciated it where the hobbits.
While they waited the man began to tell them many different things about the land and some of the customs. He was mostly ignored. Thranduil several times had to cuff Legolas on the ear and remind him that staring at the paintings of human females would do him no good; he still had to marry an elven maid. This issued much child like pouting from the blonde prince.
Glorfindel would stare at them wondering what Taraqwen would look like dressed like that; then found himself wonder why he would want to know. He blamed it on what little of the human's "beer" he had consumed. Obviously it affected ones mind if you took into account what it was doing to the hobbits.
"Damn! Where in the sam hill are they? It 'bout almost midnight." The man said standing up and knocking over what he called" a lawn chair." A whistling sound went right to the human, and then a dart appeared in his neck.
He swayed a little and collapsed into a peaceful sleep.
"KIM! I told you he wasn't a threat!"
"It slipped, I swear!"
The screen door opened to revile two girls, about fifteen years of age. Both somewhat.... thick (a saying they use in the south as a polite way of saying "fat".) Both with brown hair and in green pants with black tops. The one with glasses glared at the taller one until she turned her attention back to the rest present.
"Mae Govenn." She said and bowed.
"...Hi.... Katie are you sure Kenshien didn't need any help this week?"
"Yes, now can it. Mr. Gandalf I see ya'll got a little lost?"
"Indeed." Gandalf said following the two out of the " Mobile Home."
Confused the rest of the party followed.
End of chapter 2
AN: Finally Kapies beta read something!
Thranduil: Yes and it didn't turn out to bad for us elves.
Kapies: ...this time.
AN: I swear chapter 3 will be at least 6 to 9 pages long seeing as how I have a whole lot to get in there, but right now both Kapies and I are taking our finals for 10th grade. -.-