*********************************TRApPeD************************************
Twenty-three: On the Surface
By Annie
2003-04-21
****************************************************************************
Day Sixteen.
11.38 p.m.
"Buffy!" Spike yelled and she turned around just as the second last standing vampire of the nest the Slayer and the Vamp had been cleaning out attacked.
Spike put his fist to the jaw of the last of the vamps and glanced over at Buffy to see how she chose to meet her opponent.
She ducked, put a hook of her right hand into its stomach, straightened her back as it tried to recoil and caught it by the neck. Pulling her arm back before moving it forward she pushed the vampire hard and made it fly six feet into the facing wall of the condemned building.
She brought her stake out at the exact same time Spike did and they shared a brief look before they took care of business.
She had to admit that she was amazed over how well they actually fought together. The efficiency with which the patrolling had gone by during the evening had been truly astounding, and he had helped her in more ways than one. She very reluctantly admitted to the fact of his presence sort of putting her own concentration on its tip - since she didn't want him to be able to gloat at being faster or better in any way.
Childish? Did she know it!
But she simply couldn't shake the thought of how much more experience he had over her, what skill didn't he possess? Watching him fight was pure art, and she had seen her share of violence to be able to tell the difference between accuracy and mere punching. She was no amateur, no rookie, and she was able to hold her own... Still she could feel the spoken competitiveness hanging in the air between them and it spurred her on.
Actually - it was kind of fun. Though that she didn't admit.
Now they faced each other and she looked around the empty room. Five vamps had been taken down, three girls had been saved, a nest had been destroyed, and Spike had been right there through the whole ordeal.
She turned her eyes in his, a smile splitting her face which had a shiver of scurrying pleasure run up his spine to branch out over his shoulders. He had never seen that expression on her face around him before.
"Good fight," she commended, nodding as she took another look around the room. "Good fight."
He smirked, observing her for a few seconds.
They had had a rather short talk the night before. Short simply because there wasn't much she had to tell him about this Adam character - and once she had told him what there was to know she had seemed very eager to get going. He hadn't wanted to stop her. How exactly they had come to patrol together was an entirely different matter.
The information about the nest had pretty much fallen into his lap - after a few well-wasted dollars on the blabber-mouth of Willy - and so he couldn't very well keep the information from the Slayer, now could he? No, 'cause that'd be backing out of their agreement. So, he had happened to stumble across her as she left the dorm for that nights "taking a stroll with sharp objects tucked into every pocket", and he had SHARED the information with her, as agreed.
Why the bleeding hell she had pretty much told him to tag along he had no sodding clue to - but he had obliged. Probably she had wanted him to because she wanted to make sure it wasn't a trap of some sort... Well, here they were. No trap in sight. And they had just finished their first fight - together.
"Guess THIS part of the whole partnership thing just might work after all," she remarked, smile still on as she caught her breath - her chest heaving heavily.
His smirk widened and the clear glitter in the corners of his eyes made her blink and then square her shoulders as she started toward the door. Stopping in the doorway she turned back to him, giving him a meaningful look as she gestured for him to follow, saying:
"Come on - time's a wasting."
He watched her disappear out into the hallway and then let the smirk rip into a wide smile. Suppressing the low chuckle wanting to rise he then slowly followed. He really disliked the fact - but her side, bathing in her light... might actually have its share of his kind of good. He had this sickening need to grin whenever he looked at her and he felt like an idiot! Still, the way she made him feel... it was undeniable. It frightened him to the core, yet a large part was tentatively embracing it. There was no use doing anything else, he supposed - though another part of him cried for mercy, told that this just was not fair.
"So," he now said, leaning against the doorpost as he could rest his eyes on her again. "Where to now?"
She turned to him, raising her eyebrows.
"You letting me lead?" she wondered, fake-surprise in her tone and he smirked again.
"I am but a humble observer of your every-night activities," he replied with a small bow of the head and she smiled again, though this time it was tentative and she removed her gaze from his as she seemingly grew self- conscious.
"All right," she mumbled. "It's mostly walking."
"So lets walk," he said, moving out of the doorway and passed her - giving her a look as he went and she hesitated.
There was something else hanging there along with the competitiveness, and she didn't even dare look at it. It was too strange a feeling. To have him this close, on arm's length, and still not want to pull her hair out with irritation or claw his eyes out or something! It was still and quiet - the annoyance.
Soon it will reveal its ugly head, she assured herself as she followed him out through the broken front door of the building. There is no way he won't say SOMETHING to get on my nerves.
They began to walk across the short stretch of lawn leading to the sidewalk. Reaching the latter they kept moving down the street. She glanced at him, he glanced back and they faced forward again.
"Haven't seen soldier boy around for a while. Something rocking the love boat?" he broke the silence and she rolled her eyes.
Here's ugly.
"Can't you just for once refrain from asking me about my personal life?" she inquired and he made a clicking noise with his tongue as he shook his head.
"Oh," he then merely said and she stopped, putting her hands at her hips and her eyes growing into a WHAT?!-expression that made him tilt his head slightly to one side. "Nothing. Just... Did he jump ship? Was it your fault? I dunno if you know this about yourself, love, but you can be pretty bloody demanding. I wouldn't blame him if he bailed."
Her fist connected with his cheek and his head bopped to the side. He moved his jaw as he straightened his posture again.
"You wanna catch a glimpse of the inside of me you'll have to carve me open with a 'very dull knife'," she shot and he arched his scarred eyebrow.
"Good memory," he muttered and she smiled sourly before turning from him and picking up the walking again. "Nice night we're having, ain't it?" he asked as he followed, coming up to keep her pace at her side. "The stars are out... Moon too. I wonder if..."
"He's sick, okay?" she interrupted, aggravated. "He's with the Initiative. They're taking care of him... They're telling me he's doing fine, so..."
She trailed off and Spike watched her face closely for a few seconds before he frowned slightly.
"You're not worried?" he asked and she turned her head to meet his gaze, both of them coming to a slow stop.
"I've seen these guys in action," she replied. "They may be something else than what they want me to believe - but when it comes to one of their own they take care of him. No matter what, I'm sure that Riley's safe down there. And they'll make him well again."
"Mh, to come back up and join with you," Spike said and she stared into that blueness of his eyes thinking she could see a twitch of something in it.
The moment passed, he turned from her and they started walking again. Their pace was down to a very slow stroll, but neither one of them really seemed aware of that.
Spike wanted to beat back the annoyance he felt with the sodding git. He wished he could've gotten rid of him once and for all - but then another voice spoke louder, saying that had he done that he would have alienated himself from Buffy for all time.
"Oh, I didn't tell you!" she suddenly said and he raised his eyebrows, looking at her again. "That thing in your head - it's a chip."
He furrowed his brow now.
"A bloody whatta?" he asked and a small smile graced her lips as she nodded.
"Exactly. It's a 'sophisticated piece of modern science designed to control the behavior patterns of H.S.T's' - that'd be you - 'and render them harmless as little pussycats, making them want to leapleapleap through fields of daffodils singing songs of happiness and joy for everyone'," she answered and his eyes had been widening from the first sentence, now he gave her a look and she smirked. "Okay, so that last part was kinda my edition."
"Funny, Slayer," he muttered. "So... a chip. Great. That should be easier than a heavy duty sodding spell on my neck. I'll just go down there and make them take it the bleeding hell out."
As he made as though he was going to follow up on that statement straight away she grabbed the leather of his duster and made him halt.
"Woah there," she said, making him face her. "Right now we're more or less at silent war with those guys in the same way we're at loud and bang-y war with the demons... Though I've always been that, but you know what I mean. You can't go down there, smart-ass, 'cause they'll just catch you and put you in a cage. Now, is that what you want?"
"Oh, don't sound so bloody cocky," he grumbled and she let him go, suppressing the smile at his grouchiness.
"For now we'll concentrate on Adam," she replied.
"Fine," he muttered.
"You know, if you really wanna do this with me then I can't STAND this negative attitude. You need to change it straight away or I'll have to send you home," she remarked and he cocked an eyebrow.
"Am I 'with' you, then?" he asked and she swallowed hard.
"Well, that wasn't really how I meant to... In a way I guess that... How I phrased it wasn't like that... It sounded different in my head," she stuttered and he smiled a small smile.
"Really? How did it sound in your head?" he wondered and she glared at him, making the smile broaden slightly. "So, when IS soldier boy back on his feet and in the game?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Soon, I hope. Why are YOU so interested?"
"No reason really. I was just wondering if he'd take too bloody kindly to me and you spending quality time together, that's all," he answered her and she raised her eyebrows.
"I wouldn't call it quality time," she disagreed and he smirked at that.
"Then what would you call it?"
"Do you ALWAYS reply to an answer with that answer as a question?" she asked, irritated, and he tilted his head to one side as he nodded.
"Always," he assured and she tried to make her smile as sarcastic as possible as she couldn't hold it back anymore.
They turned onto a different street and she wanted to change the subject, but wasn't sure to which subject she was willing to jump.
"Perhaps," she spoke now, "we should just not say anything at all. Keep the focus on the job at hand and all that?" she added and he cocked an eyebrow.
"Right, 'cause you always keep your mouth shut while you're in the middle of a sodding slay and so keeping it even more tightly closed BEFORE one should just really help your bloody concentration," he nodded and the irony in his voice made her give him a look to just take the thought to heart and be quiet.
They both were, for about thirty seconds - and then Buffy said:
"It's not like I do speeches while I slay."
Spike smirked and rolled his eyes at her. How had he been able to know that this would be coming, sooner than later?
"I didn't say you did," he replied.
"And it's not like they seem to mind it," she continued and at that his smirk widened considerably.
"So, if one of the vamps stopped the fight and said 'Bloody hell, Slayer, I do believe your constant yapping is getting on my about-to-be-no-more nerves. Could you put a buggering sock in it and let me die in peace?' - then you'd do as it asked?" he inquired and her eyebrows rose slightly.
Then she shrugged.
"I dunno," she answered him. "That's never happened."
"I'll get the word out," he promised and she looked up at him. "Or would that be in bloody violation of the contract?" he added at the questioning look in her eyes and she shook her head.
"No... And there IS no contract," she replied and he observed her for a few seconds before he asked:
"What ARE the terms, really? You were kinda fuzzy on those last night."
She stopped and he did as well, facing her and waiting for her to answer him.
Buffy wasn't entirely sure what to tell him. It had all happened so suddenly... One hour they had been screaming good-bye and the next they had been shaking hands on trying something else on for a while.
This.
It was very strange to look at him and not feel like she needed to fret over what he was planning. She knew she couldn't just relax around him, if she ever would be able to, and still her instincts told her that he hadn't saved her life just for show. It made her ask the question she had been repeating the day before: what did he want? What did he want with her?
Perhaps this WAS part of some master plan...
No. It really was so weird, but those thoughts were simply shut down right before they gained any real wind in their sails. There was a new feeling to him that she couldn't put her finger on... but she could sense it.
So...the terms. The terms for this. What were they?
"I just don't want you to play both sides," she slowly stated and he arched his scarred eyebrow as he rested his eyes in hers. "I don't wanna find out, when all's said and done, that you acted like some sorta spy for Adam..."
"You won't," he reassured and something slowly twirled in the pit of her stomach as he held her gaze.
He almost wanted to add a "trust me", but refrained since he knew it would do him no good. She would never trust him. He seemed to be constantly torn in two these days where one part pointed out: why the hell should he bind himself to her when she so clearly was waiting for him to screw it up? And the other part replied: why the bloody hell should he screw it up, if that was so clearly what she was waiting for?
A very huge chunk of him still refused to see that he was becoming someone else, slowly but surely, and this chunk of him kept sending a devil to sit on his shoulder and whisper of all the fun things he could do if he just let himself go again. The angel on his opposite shoulder was tiny, and its voice was squeaky, but it was there and it was defiant. It told him to trust what he knew was resting within his heart now. His love for the girl before him was going to be his burden and his wings - the angel promised.
He had always wanted to fly, ever since he was a young boy running up and down the cobble stone streets of London - so, was he going to throw his one chance at that away?
Suddenly his hand moved on its own and reached up to gently grace her left cheek with its touch. Her eyes grew slightly.
She had been trying to read whatever he was thinking in his gaze. He had seemed so lost in his own musings that she wished she had that spell to read minds so that she could've read his. Though she wouldn't have been able to, she realized. She couldn't read Angel's, now could she? But the way the two blue eyes, which were still holding hers relentlessly, were growing into an expression she had never seen in them before made her heart begin to race as she stared into them.
Warmth.
And then his touch, soft against her cheek as his fingers lightly brushed into the nearby locks of blonde by her face. His thumb gliding slowly over her skin and she blinked, frowning. Wondering what he thought he was doing and then with a pang something emerged from the far corners of her memory banks.
Her voice saying 'I'm in love'.
And his stating 'So am I'.
She had trouble breathing. Taking a step back and away from his hand she turned from him and took yet another few steps out of his closest vicinity. That dream... It couldn't have been a Slayer dream. WHY would she have a Slayer dream about something so personal? Or not personal per say, Spike wasn't "personal", he was... He was just...
"Buffy," he mumbled and she clenched her jaws together as she turned back to him.
"Another term?" she wondered and he looked at her, quizzical. "If we need a no-touching-what-so-ever term then I'll throw it in there without any hesitation," she elaborated and he watched her face, her eyes and the not so calm expression in them.
"Buffy," he repeated and she shook her head.
"I mean it," she said and he smiled a very small smile.
"No, you don't," he replied and she swallowed.
"What do you want?" she finally spoke the question out loud. "What do you want from me?"
He hesitated. His mind processing the different facets of this situation and then choosing one of the easier ones as he answered with:
"Nothing less than what you want from me."
Then make me, her mind whispered. Then make me be in your arms 'cause I've been freezing ever since I left them behind.
"I want your skill, I want your fists and I want your whole mind put into the battle we're in the middle of," she replied, though her voice wavered and he could hear it very well. "Nothing else," she then added and he nodded slowly.
"Then that's what you'll have," he replied.
She ignored the tug to walk back up to him, she brushed aside the whirl of emotions set in motion by one measly little caress and then she turned from him to start the walking again.
Just tell him that he should cover another part of town, she told herself. Just split the two of you up!
But - she didn't.
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ******************
Thanks to ALL of you who have reviewed and sorry that - according to my book, at least - this chapter is one day late, I have been bu-hu-sy. Hope you'll forgive! :) And hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!
Very special and extremely warm thanks to Haley (for all THREE!!!) :), Von, Heather, Captain, Shaelune, Carol, Renee', Mel, Sailor of Fire and TheRealiz - thanks a whole whole LOT for wonderful encouragement and for taking the time out to drop it by! I really appreciate that, and I hope that you know that by now! ;)
Until next time...
A.M.L, Annie.
Twenty-three: On the Surface
By Annie
2003-04-21
****************************************************************************
Day Sixteen.
11.38 p.m.
"Buffy!" Spike yelled and she turned around just as the second last standing vampire of the nest the Slayer and the Vamp had been cleaning out attacked.
Spike put his fist to the jaw of the last of the vamps and glanced over at Buffy to see how she chose to meet her opponent.
She ducked, put a hook of her right hand into its stomach, straightened her back as it tried to recoil and caught it by the neck. Pulling her arm back before moving it forward she pushed the vampire hard and made it fly six feet into the facing wall of the condemned building.
She brought her stake out at the exact same time Spike did and they shared a brief look before they took care of business.
She had to admit that she was amazed over how well they actually fought together. The efficiency with which the patrolling had gone by during the evening had been truly astounding, and he had helped her in more ways than one. She very reluctantly admitted to the fact of his presence sort of putting her own concentration on its tip - since she didn't want him to be able to gloat at being faster or better in any way.
Childish? Did she know it!
But she simply couldn't shake the thought of how much more experience he had over her, what skill didn't he possess? Watching him fight was pure art, and she had seen her share of violence to be able to tell the difference between accuracy and mere punching. She was no amateur, no rookie, and she was able to hold her own... Still she could feel the spoken competitiveness hanging in the air between them and it spurred her on.
Actually - it was kind of fun. Though that she didn't admit.
Now they faced each other and she looked around the empty room. Five vamps had been taken down, three girls had been saved, a nest had been destroyed, and Spike had been right there through the whole ordeal.
She turned her eyes in his, a smile splitting her face which had a shiver of scurrying pleasure run up his spine to branch out over his shoulders. He had never seen that expression on her face around him before.
"Good fight," she commended, nodding as she took another look around the room. "Good fight."
He smirked, observing her for a few seconds.
They had had a rather short talk the night before. Short simply because there wasn't much she had to tell him about this Adam character - and once she had told him what there was to know she had seemed very eager to get going. He hadn't wanted to stop her. How exactly they had come to patrol together was an entirely different matter.
The information about the nest had pretty much fallen into his lap - after a few well-wasted dollars on the blabber-mouth of Willy - and so he couldn't very well keep the information from the Slayer, now could he? No, 'cause that'd be backing out of their agreement. So, he had happened to stumble across her as she left the dorm for that nights "taking a stroll with sharp objects tucked into every pocket", and he had SHARED the information with her, as agreed.
Why the bleeding hell she had pretty much told him to tag along he had no sodding clue to - but he had obliged. Probably she had wanted him to because she wanted to make sure it wasn't a trap of some sort... Well, here they were. No trap in sight. And they had just finished their first fight - together.
"Guess THIS part of the whole partnership thing just might work after all," she remarked, smile still on as she caught her breath - her chest heaving heavily.
His smirk widened and the clear glitter in the corners of his eyes made her blink and then square her shoulders as she started toward the door. Stopping in the doorway she turned back to him, giving him a meaningful look as she gestured for him to follow, saying:
"Come on - time's a wasting."
He watched her disappear out into the hallway and then let the smirk rip into a wide smile. Suppressing the low chuckle wanting to rise he then slowly followed. He really disliked the fact - but her side, bathing in her light... might actually have its share of his kind of good. He had this sickening need to grin whenever he looked at her and he felt like an idiot! Still, the way she made him feel... it was undeniable. It frightened him to the core, yet a large part was tentatively embracing it. There was no use doing anything else, he supposed - though another part of him cried for mercy, told that this just was not fair.
"So," he now said, leaning against the doorpost as he could rest his eyes on her again. "Where to now?"
She turned to him, raising her eyebrows.
"You letting me lead?" she wondered, fake-surprise in her tone and he smirked again.
"I am but a humble observer of your every-night activities," he replied with a small bow of the head and she smiled again, though this time it was tentative and she removed her gaze from his as she seemingly grew self- conscious.
"All right," she mumbled. "It's mostly walking."
"So lets walk," he said, moving out of the doorway and passed her - giving her a look as he went and she hesitated.
There was something else hanging there along with the competitiveness, and she didn't even dare look at it. It was too strange a feeling. To have him this close, on arm's length, and still not want to pull her hair out with irritation or claw his eyes out or something! It was still and quiet - the annoyance.
Soon it will reveal its ugly head, she assured herself as she followed him out through the broken front door of the building. There is no way he won't say SOMETHING to get on my nerves.
They began to walk across the short stretch of lawn leading to the sidewalk. Reaching the latter they kept moving down the street. She glanced at him, he glanced back and they faced forward again.
"Haven't seen soldier boy around for a while. Something rocking the love boat?" he broke the silence and she rolled her eyes.
Here's ugly.
"Can't you just for once refrain from asking me about my personal life?" she inquired and he made a clicking noise with his tongue as he shook his head.
"Oh," he then merely said and she stopped, putting her hands at her hips and her eyes growing into a WHAT?!-expression that made him tilt his head slightly to one side. "Nothing. Just... Did he jump ship? Was it your fault? I dunno if you know this about yourself, love, but you can be pretty bloody demanding. I wouldn't blame him if he bailed."
Her fist connected with his cheek and his head bopped to the side. He moved his jaw as he straightened his posture again.
"You wanna catch a glimpse of the inside of me you'll have to carve me open with a 'very dull knife'," she shot and he arched his scarred eyebrow.
"Good memory," he muttered and she smiled sourly before turning from him and picking up the walking again. "Nice night we're having, ain't it?" he asked as he followed, coming up to keep her pace at her side. "The stars are out... Moon too. I wonder if..."
"He's sick, okay?" she interrupted, aggravated. "He's with the Initiative. They're taking care of him... They're telling me he's doing fine, so..."
She trailed off and Spike watched her face closely for a few seconds before he frowned slightly.
"You're not worried?" he asked and she turned her head to meet his gaze, both of them coming to a slow stop.
"I've seen these guys in action," she replied. "They may be something else than what they want me to believe - but when it comes to one of their own they take care of him. No matter what, I'm sure that Riley's safe down there. And they'll make him well again."
"Mh, to come back up and join with you," Spike said and she stared into that blueness of his eyes thinking she could see a twitch of something in it.
The moment passed, he turned from her and they started walking again. Their pace was down to a very slow stroll, but neither one of them really seemed aware of that.
Spike wanted to beat back the annoyance he felt with the sodding git. He wished he could've gotten rid of him once and for all - but then another voice spoke louder, saying that had he done that he would have alienated himself from Buffy for all time.
"Oh, I didn't tell you!" she suddenly said and he raised his eyebrows, looking at her again. "That thing in your head - it's a chip."
He furrowed his brow now.
"A bloody whatta?" he asked and a small smile graced her lips as she nodded.
"Exactly. It's a 'sophisticated piece of modern science designed to control the behavior patterns of H.S.T's' - that'd be you - 'and render them harmless as little pussycats, making them want to leapleapleap through fields of daffodils singing songs of happiness and joy for everyone'," she answered and his eyes had been widening from the first sentence, now he gave her a look and she smirked. "Okay, so that last part was kinda my edition."
"Funny, Slayer," he muttered. "So... a chip. Great. That should be easier than a heavy duty sodding spell on my neck. I'll just go down there and make them take it the bleeding hell out."
As he made as though he was going to follow up on that statement straight away she grabbed the leather of his duster and made him halt.
"Woah there," she said, making him face her. "Right now we're more or less at silent war with those guys in the same way we're at loud and bang-y war with the demons... Though I've always been that, but you know what I mean. You can't go down there, smart-ass, 'cause they'll just catch you and put you in a cage. Now, is that what you want?"
"Oh, don't sound so bloody cocky," he grumbled and she let him go, suppressing the smile at his grouchiness.
"For now we'll concentrate on Adam," she replied.
"Fine," he muttered.
"You know, if you really wanna do this with me then I can't STAND this negative attitude. You need to change it straight away or I'll have to send you home," she remarked and he cocked an eyebrow.
"Am I 'with' you, then?" he asked and she swallowed hard.
"Well, that wasn't really how I meant to... In a way I guess that... How I phrased it wasn't like that... It sounded different in my head," she stuttered and he smiled a small smile.
"Really? How did it sound in your head?" he wondered and she glared at him, making the smile broaden slightly. "So, when IS soldier boy back on his feet and in the game?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Soon, I hope. Why are YOU so interested?"
"No reason really. I was just wondering if he'd take too bloody kindly to me and you spending quality time together, that's all," he answered her and she raised her eyebrows.
"I wouldn't call it quality time," she disagreed and he smirked at that.
"Then what would you call it?"
"Do you ALWAYS reply to an answer with that answer as a question?" she asked, irritated, and he tilted his head to one side as he nodded.
"Always," he assured and she tried to make her smile as sarcastic as possible as she couldn't hold it back anymore.
They turned onto a different street and she wanted to change the subject, but wasn't sure to which subject she was willing to jump.
"Perhaps," she spoke now, "we should just not say anything at all. Keep the focus on the job at hand and all that?" she added and he cocked an eyebrow.
"Right, 'cause you always keep your mouth shut while you're in the middle of a sodding slay and so keeping it even more tightly closed BEFORE one should just really help your bloody concentration," he nodded and the irony in his voice made her give him a look to just take the thought to heart and be quiet.
They both were, for about thirty seconds - and then Buffy said:
"It's not like I do speeches while I slay."
Spike smirked and rolled his eyes at her. How had he been able to know that this would be coming, sooner than later?
"I didn't say you did," he replied.
"And it's not like they seem to mind it," she continued and at that his smirk widened considerably.
"So, if one of the vamps stopped the fight and said 'Bloody hell, Slayer, I do believe your constant yapping is getting on my about-to-be-no-more nerves. Could you put a buggering sock in it and let me die in peace?' - then you'd do as it asked?" he inquired and her eyebrows rose slightly.
Then she shrugged.
"I dunno," she answered him. "That's never happened."
"I'll get the word out," he promised and she looked up at him. "Or would that be in bloody violation of the contract?" he added at the questioning look in her eyes and she shook her head.
"No... And there IS no contract," she replied and he observed her for a few seconds before he asked:
"What ARE the terms, really? You were kinda fuzzy on those last night."
She stopped and he did as well, facing her and waiting for her to answer him.
Buffy wasn't entirely sure what to tell him. It had all happened so suddenly... One hour they had been screaming good-bye and the next they had been shaking hands on trying something else on for a while.
This.
It was very strange to look at him and not feel like she needed to fret over what he was planning. She knew she couldn't just relax around him, if she ever would be able to, and still her instincts told her that he hadn't saved her life just for show. It made her ask the question she had been repeating the day before: what did he want? What did he want with her?
Perhaps this WAS part of some master plan...
No. It really was so weird, but those thoughts were simply shut down right before they gained any real wind in their sails. There was a new feeling to him that she couldn't put her finger on... but she could sense it.
So...the terms. The terms for this. What were they?
"I just don't want you to play both sides," she slowly stated and he arched his scarred eyebrow as he rested his eyes in hers. "I don't wanna find out, when all's said and done, that you acted like some sorta spy for Adam..."
"You won't," he reassured and something slowly twirled in the pit of her stomach as he held her gaze.
He almost wanted to add a "trust me", but refrained since he knew it would do him no good. She would never trust him. He seemed to be constantly torn in two these days where one part pointed out: why the hell should he bind himself to her when she so clearly was waiting for him to screw it up? And the other part replied: why the bloody hell should he screw it up, if that was so clearly what she was waiting for?
A very huge chunk of him still refused to see that he was becoming someone else, slowly but surely, and this chunk of him kept sending a devil to sit on his shoulder and whisper of all the fun things he could do if he just let himself go again. The angel on his opposite shoulder was tiny, and its voice was squeaky, but it was there and it was defiant. It told him to trust what he knew was resting within his heart now. His love for the girl before him was going to be his burden and his wings - the angel promised.
He had always wanted to fly, ever since he was a young boy running up and down the cobble stone streets of London - so, was he going to throw his one chance at that away?
Suddenly his hand moved on its own and reached up to gently grace her left cheek with its touch. Her eyes grew slightly.
She had been trying to read whatever he was thinking in his gaze. He had seemed so lost in his own musings that she wished she had that spell to read minds so that she could've read his. Though she wouldn't have been able to, she realized. She couldn't read Angel's, now could she? But the way the two blue eyes, which were still holding hers relentlessly, were growing into an expression she had never seen in them before made her heart begin to race as she stared into them.
Warmth.
And then his touch, soft against her cheek as his fingers lightly brushed into the nearby locks of blonde by her face. His thumb gliding slowly over her skin and she blinked, frowning. Wondering what he thought he was doing and then with a pang something emerged from the far corners of her memory banks.
Her voice saying 'I'm in love'.
And his stating 'So am I'.
She had trouble breathing. Taking a step back and away from his hand she turned from him and took yet another few steps out of his closest vicinity. That dream... It couldn't have been a Slayer dream. WHY would she have a Slayer dream about something so personal? Or not personal per say, Spike wasn't "personal", he was... He was just...
"Buffy," he mumbled and she clenched her jaws together as she turned back to him.
"Another term?" she wondered and he looked at her, quizzical. "If we need a no-touching-what-so-ever term then I'll throw it in there without any hesitation," she elaborated and he watched her face, her eyes and the not so calm expression in them.
"Buffy," he repeated and she shook her head.
"I mean it," she said and he smiled a very small smile.
"No, you don't," he replied and she swallowed.
"What do you want?" she finally spoke the question out loud. "What do you want from me?"
He hesitated. His mind processing the different facets of this situation and then choosing one of the easier ones as he answered with:
"Nothing less than what you want from me."
Then make me, her mind whispered. Then make me be in your arms 'cause I've been freezing ever since I left them behind.
"I want your skill, I want your fists and I want your whole mind put into the battle we're in the middle of," she replied, though her voice wavered and he could hear it very well. "Nothing else," she then added and he nodded slowly.
"Then that's what you'll have," he replied.
She ignored the tug to walk back up to him, she brushed aside the whirl of emotions set in motion by one measly little caress and then she turned from him to start the walking again.
Just tell him that he should cover another part of town, she told herself. Just split the two of you up!
But - she didn't.
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Thanks to ALL of you who have reviewed and sorry that - according to my book, at least - this chapter is one day late, I have been bu-hu-sy. Hope you'll forgive! :) And hope you enjoyed this chapter as well!
Very special and extremely warm thanks to Haley (for all THREE!!!) :), Von, Heather, Captain, Shaelune, Carol, Renee', Mel, Sailor of Fire and TheRealiz - thanks a whole whole LOT for wonderful encouragement and for taking the time out to drop it by! I really appreciate that, and I hope that you know that by now! ;)
Until next time...
A.M.L, Annie.