A/N: Hey everybboooddyy! This is still the same story as "VEIL OF DARKNESS" AND "POWERS OF A DREAM". But both those titles sucked, and I've finally found one I like. So, here's chapter 4 at your service! Well, without anything else to say, let's get to it!
Disclaimer: Not mine. But my dog resembles Padfoot quite a bit.. Does that count?
Ship: Holy Ship, I wonder who likes who?
~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."
-Buddha
"The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough."
-Bede Jarrett, The House of Gold
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was well past midnight but Harry could hardly move from the armchair in front of the furious flames of the drawing room. He was entranced by the tempting orange flames, caught in their fierce dance of melancholy.
It had been a long day. One he'd wished to erase from his memory, to pretend didn't exist. He lowered his head into his hands, the memories shimmering to the surface.
***flashback***
"Harry, there's something we need to tell you," Harry raised his eyebrows and set down his fork from dinner. He leaned back in his chair, although his body remained tense. Dumbledore watched him through his long fingers for a moment before continuing.
"There is a date set for the funeral of Sirius." He heard the clatter of a few more forks as the entire table set their eyes upon him, not daring to move.
Harry, however, remained disturbingly emotionless. His green eyes, already dulled from the harshness of his 5th year, seemed not to respond. He waited for his headmaster to continue.
"It will be the 15th of August, at the Hollow Cemetary," Dumbledore said quietly. Harry didn't nod, but instead ran a hand through his black hair.
"In 10 days time then. I'll be ready. May I ask why the Ministry is allowing such a traitorous event to occur?" Tonks coughed in the corner and Harry distantly wondered when his voice had become to hollow.
"It's a private ceremony, Harry," Mrs. Weasly said softly from down the table. He laughed bitterly causing some to flinch.
"They'll never believe me, will they? I keep telling them the truth and they keep shoving it in my face," He could feel Hermione's eyes boring into him but he couldn't begin to care. "The whole god-damned world'll have to die before people are satisfied. 'Course, perhaps it's be easier for them to swallow the truth if their little boy-who-lived finally kicked the bucket." He laughed again, his voice echoing off the quiet walls. It was so much easier to laugh.
"That isn't funny, Harry. Stop it," Hermione said. He shrugged and pushed the front two legs of his chair off the floor so he was balancing on his chair. He looked around at the faces.
"So what now? Am I expected to cry to the 'Daily Prophet?' Grovel at their feet once more hoping that they'll understand? Should I wail like Dudley does so they'll believe Sirius was innocent? Shall I tap-dance for the MInistry?" He laughed, but nobody else joined in with him. He stopped abruptly, a bitter smile tracing his lips.
"Oh, come on now. Don't tell me you've all lost your sense of humor?" He glanced at Ron who was staring at him oddly. He shrugged. "All right then, you tell me what I'm suppose to do now," he took a sip of his butterbeer. "Have anymore prophecies you're going to be reading to me at the funeral? Want to explain to me that my godfather isn't really dead? That it was all just some joke that you played to make me stronger?" He heard Mrs.Weasly make a noise in her throat but he ignored it.
"No Harry," Harry was startled at the harshness in his old professor's voice and he turned to face him. Lupin's face was full of hurt, so much so that Harry instantly felt sorry. Dumbledore's voice broke through the stunned silence once more, continuing with his calm and rational voice.
"There are other matters to discuss, Harry, including the will he left us. Sirius has left Grimmauld Place to you," Harry breathed in quickly, the sharp air cutting at his lungs. "And he requested that Remus be your new gaurdian." Harry tried to control himself, but he could feel his ears growing hot. He closed his eyes, feeling himself on the verge of tears. But he wouldn't cry, not here, not when everyone was watching.
"I don't want it," he said hoarsly. he could hear Dumbledore say quietly that it owuld be a second home apart from the Dursley's, somewhere he could go during the remaining summer months. His eyes shot open, his face hot as he let the chair fall back onto the floor. He stood up angerily.
"Listen, I don't have a home with anyone. Not the Dursley's, and not in this god-forsaken house. And I thank you all, for humoring me form time to time, but it really wasn't nescarry. Don't worry, I'll be a good boy and die for the world so that you can all live. I won't be selfish. But don't lie to me. Don't tell me I have a home when everything I've been through in 15 years has got me trapped in hell. Everyone hates me and it's time to just face the facts. I'm fine alone, really," he saw his best friends staring at him from across the table but he couldn't force himself to stay and talk, even with them. He ignored the protests and strode out the door and into the familiar hallway. He turned the corner, refusing to look at the potrait of Mrs. Black. But Instead of going upstairs towards his room, he stormed out the door and into the icy night, leaving Mrs. Black's screams to the house as he slammed the door shut.
He ran. He ran past the many house of Grimmauld Street, past the gang on the corner. He raced to anywhere he could get to, his mind trying to leave his godfather's old house behind.
The pain and the hurt was too much. All his life he'd lived with nothing but hate shot towards him. And even though he had some show they cared, it wasn't enough to cover the pain.
At last, he found he couldn't run anymore. His lungs screamed at him for oxygen as he stood, hunched over in the dim moonlight, panting heavily with his hands on his knees. He breathed in for a few more moments before sitting down on the curb beside the road he'd been running and began to feel the hot tears pour down his cold cheeks. How was he to live like this? From far away, he could hear the shouts and knew it was the Order running after him. He shivered as he wiped furiously at the tears. He stood and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked up at the shimmering stars.
"There has to be a way," he whispered to the endless sky.
***end of flashback***
Harry felt his head loll to the side as his eyes shut him off from the flames. He welcomed the sleep with a sense of calm he hadn't felt in years, and such a void of emotion, that he couldn't begin to care.
And in the morning, he awoke on the couch, covered in a blanket although he'd never remembered moving at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Ack. Mood swings galore...Harry is so Out of character, I'm sorry...Well, I wasn't expecting much out of this chapter to tell you the truth. it was a transitional chappie that I had to write, but didn't have anything to really say.....Well, Harry was quite bitter, wasn't he? But I only did that to him so he'd have to come to anger management classes with me. *grins* Now, if I could only get Sirius here somehow......
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW
Pwease with sugar on top....? They make me write SO much faster!
Thanks to last chapter's reviewers: (and they get cookies that you could have had! *sticks out tounge*)
Mella deRanged, thanks! (*hands her a cookie*)
read-a-holic: *hands her a cookie* I made them myself!
Lanfear1: *hands her two cookies* Just for making me feel better :)
very appreciative reader: *hugs and gives cookies* It did make me feel a lot better, I have to admit. I'm glad I could help you feel better about....Poor, poor snuffles. Well, anyways, thanks so much!
*I know there were more of you that reviewed, but I can't see your reviews, and I don't know why. I really appreciate the support and hope you like the next chapter!
Please review!!!
*grabs Sirius's hand and forces him to wave*
Disclaimer: Not mine. But my dog resembles Padfoot quite a bit.. Does that count?
Ship: Holy Ship, I wonder who likes who?
~~~~~~~~~~~
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."
-Buddha
"The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough."
-Bede Jarrett, The House of Gold
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was well past midnight but Harry could hardly move from the armchair in front of the furious flames of the drawing room. He was entranced by the tempting orange flames, caught in their fierce dance of melancholy.
It had been a long day. One he'd wished to erase from his memory, to pretend didn't exist. He lowered his head into his hands, the memories shimmering to the surface.
***flashback***
"Harry, there's something we need to tell you," Harry raised his eyebrows and set down his fork from dinner. He leaned back in his chair, although his body remained tense. Dumbledore watched him through his long fingers for a moment before continuing.
"There is a date set for the funeral of Sirius." He heard the clatter of a few more forks as the entire table set their eyes upon him, not daring to move.
Harry, however, remained disturbingly emotionless. His green eyes, already dulled from the harshness of his 5th year, seemed not to respond. He waited for his headmaster to continue.
"It will be the 15th of August, at the Hollow Cemetary," Dumbledore said quietly. Harry didn't nod, but instead ran a hand through his black hair.
"In 10 days time then. I'll be ready. May I ask why the Ministry is allowing such a traitorous event to occur?" Tonks coughed in the corner and Harry distantly wondered when his voice had become to hollow.
"It's a private ceremony, Harry," Mrs. Weasly said softly from down the table. He laughed bitterly causing some to flinch.
"They'll never believe me, will they? I keep telling them the truth and they keep shoving it in my face," He could feel Hermione's eyes boring into him but he couldn't begin to care. "The whole god-damned world'll have to die before people are satisfied. 'Course, perhaps it's be easier for them to swallow the truth if their little boy-who-lived finally kicked the bucket." He laughed again, his voice echoing off the quiet walls. It was so much easier to laugh.
"That isn't funny, Harry. Stop it," Hermione said. He shrugged and pushed the front two legs of his chair off the floor so he was balancing on his chair. He looked around at the faces.
"So what now? Am I expected to cry to the 'Daily Prophet?' Grovel at their feet once more hoping that they'll understand? Should I wail like Dudley does so they'll believe Sirius was innocent? Shall I tap-dance for the MInistry?" He laughed, but nobody else joined in with him. He stopped abruptly, a bitter smile tracing his lips.
"Oh, come on now. Don't tell me you've all lost your sense of humor?" He glanced at Ron who was staring at him oddly. He shrugged. "All right then, you tell me what I'm suppose to do now," he took a sip of his butterbeer. "Have anymore prophecies you're going to be reading to me at the funeral? Want to explain to me that my godfather isn't really dead? That it was all just some joke that you played to make me stronger?" He heard Mrs.Weasly make a noise in her throat but he ignored it.
"No Harry," Harry was startled at the harshness in his old professor's voice and he turned to face him. Lupin's face was full of hurt, so much so that Harry instantly felt sorry. Dumbledore's voice broke through the stunned silence once more, continuing with his calm and rational voice.
"There are other matters to discuss, Harry, including the will he left us. Sirius has left Grimmauld Place to you," Harry breathed in quickly, the sharp air cutting at his lungs. "And he requested that Remus be your new gaurdian." Harry tried to control himself, but he could feel his ears growing hot. He closed his eyes, feeling himself on the verge of tears. But he wouldn't cry, not here, not when everyone was watching.
"I don't want it," he said hoarsly. he could hear Dumbledore say quietly that it owuld be a second home apart from the Dursley's, somewhere he could go during the remaining summer months. His eyes shot open, his face hot as he let the chair fall back onto the floor. He stood up angerily.
"Listen, I don't have a home with anyone. Not the Dursley's, and not in this god-forsaken house. And I thank you all, for humoring me form time to time, but it really wasn't nescarry. Don't worry, I'll be a good boy and die for the world so that you can all live. I won't be selfish. But don't lie to me. Don't tell me I have a home when everything I've been through in 15 years has got me trapped in hell. Everyone hates me and it's time to just face the facts. I'm fine alone, really," he saw his best friends staring at him from across the table but he couldn't force himself to stay and talk, even with them. He ignored the protests and strode out the door and into the familiar hallway. He turned the corner, refusing to look at the potrait of Mrs. Black. But Instead of going upstairs towards his room, he stormed out the door and into the icy night, leaving Mrs. Black's screams to the house as he slammed the door shut.
He ran. He ran past the many house of Grimmauld Street, past the gang on the corner. He raced to anywhere he could get to, his mind trying to leave his godfather's old house behind.
The pain and the hurt was too much. All his life he'd lived with nothing but hate shot towards him. And even though he had some show they cared, it wasn't enough to cover the pain.
At last, he found he couldn't run anymore. His lungs screamed at him for oxygen as he stood, hunched over in the dim moonlight, panting heavily with his hands on his knees. He breathed in for a few more moments before sitting down on the curb beside the road he'd been running and began to feel the hot tears pour down his cold cheeks. How was he to live like this? From far away, he could hear the shouts and knew it was the Order running after him. He shivered as he wiped furiously at the tears. He stood and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked up at the shimmering stars.
"There has to be a way," he whispered to the endless sky.
***end of flashback***
Harry felt his head loll to the side as his eyes shut him off from the flames. He welcomed the sleep with a sense of calm he hadn't felt in years, and such a void of emotion, that he couldn't begin to care.
And in the morning, he awoke on the couch, covered in a blanket although he'd never remembered moving at all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Ack. Mood swings galore...Harry is so Out of character, I'm sorry...Well, I wasn't expecting much out of this chapter to tell you the truth. it was a transitional chappie that I had to write, but didn't have anything to really say.....Well, Harry was quite bitter, wasn't he? But I only did that to him so he'd have to come to anger management classes with me. *grins* Now, if I could only get Sirius here somehow......
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW
Pwease with sugar on top....? They make me write SO much faster!
Thanks to last chapter's reviewers: (and they get cookies that you could have had! *sticks out tounge*)
Mella deRanged, thanks! (*hands her a cookie*)
read-a-holic: *hands her a cookie* I made them myself!
Lanfear1: *hands her two cookies* Just for making me feel better :)
very appreciative reader: *hugs and gives cookies* It did make me feel a lot better, I have to admit. I'm glad I could help you feel better about....Poor, poor snuffles. Well, anyways, thanks so much!
*I know there were more of you that reviewed, but I can't see your reviews, and I don't know why. I really appreciate the support and hope you like the next chapter!
Please review!!!
*grabs Sirius's hand and forces him to wave*