*********************************TRApPeD**********************************
Thirty-Seven: What If
By Annie
2003-06-06
****************************************************************************
Day Thirty-Three.
12.03 p.m.
"Spike?" Buffy yelled as she stepped through the door of the crypt with a bag containing food from the local DMP and an emptied cup previously containing hot coffee. "You here?" she added, shutting the door and walking into the room, stopping by the armchair and putting the bag down on the TV before getting out of her jacket. "Sp-...?!" she was about to try again, being cut off by the shape of a man stepping out of the shadows to her left.
She jumped. It was too tall to be Spike. Then she relaxed the Slayer part of her as she realized who it was.
"Riley," she breathed, relieved. "You scared me!"
He came into the light, his face a tight mask and she swallowed.
"I'm surprised to see you here..." she said hesitantly, glancing at the bag of food and how home-y it looked, that she had brought it to a place where she a few months ago wouldn't have gone unarmed - chip or no.
"Imagine what I am," he then replied, the hint of bitterness in his voice made her bite her jaws together. "I suppose you find that funny," he then added and she furrowed her brow slightly, about to open her mouth and deny that statement when he continued: "That I actually had this small sliver of hope somewhere that in the end this was all some sick...game your mind was playing on you. That once you had had him, you'd let him go and return to the living. To me." He huffed now and she tried to come up with something to say. "But you're clearly..." he grumbled with a small gesture of one hand to the room in general before he finished: "...making yourself at home."
"Riley," she finally got word over tongue, but he wouldn't have it.
Shaking his head he walked passed her, saying:
"I want to let you know that the Initiative has their hands full, the demons seem to be stirring and everything points to Adam... If you have a break in the search for him, we'd appreciate it if you let us know."
"You came HERE looking for me?" she asked, surprised.
"No," he replied, barely looking at her and something twitched in her heart as she watched the distance he was creating between them. "I had something to discuss with H17..."
"Please, don't call him..."
"...but since it's not here, I'll have to see if I can find it somewhere else. If you see it, tell it that I'm looking and it's only a matter of time."
"Riley..."
"I have to go."
And he left.
She didn't know what to feel. What to think. And what was it that Riley wanted to talk with Spike about? What could they possibly have to discuss? She felt a worry start somewhere in her stomach region and she couldn't make it out. Initiative business seemed the most logical reason for Riley to be looking for the vampire... But, what could that be then? To simply capture him again? That seemed too petty, and why would Riley tell HER?
"Hey," Spike's voice said as he stuck his head up through the trapdoor in the floor by the wall to her left, which was facing the wall of the door. "What're you doing here?" he added as he climbed up to face her.
She didn't move, merely watched him in silence and he knew the look on her. That Slayer bit of her brain was working feverishly, and since her gaze was locked in his he had good cause to believe that it was doing the overtime on account of him. What had that wanker of a soldier boy said to her that had her all like this? He could smell Riley, and the scent had him shivering with annoyance. Now he sighed.
"What is it, love?" he wondered and she smiled a little.
"Nothing," she then shrugged, slipping out of the place where she seemingly had gone and reaching back to grab the bag from on top of the TV. "Wanted to have lunch with you," she then added and he smiled tentatively back at that.
"Didn't think you appreciated my table manners," he then pointed out and she smirked.
"You have no table," she then shot. "Which means we'll have to do it in bed and seriously, you know how I simply LOVE your 'bedside' manners."
Now he chuckled.
"I've missed you," he murmured, coming up to her and sliding his arms around her.
"I've been gone for two hours," she remarked and he made a face of discomfort.
"Please," he then whispered, bending forward and kissing her gently. "No reminders."
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and returning his kisses.
***
10.34 p.m.
Spike ducked and swung one leg out, hitting the vampire he was fighting in the chest and sending it flying. Buffy was there right away and sunk her stake into its heart before she swirled around and met the punch of the second vamp, attacking her from behind, with one arm. She ducked and then delivered an upper-cut to the vampire's chin, having it stumble backwards and right into Spike's awaiting arms. He held it and Buffy did away with it by once again using the tip of her trusted companion.
She shuddered as she brushed at the ashes decorating her jacket in fine layers.
"I wish someone could invent dust-resistant Slayer wear," she muttered and he smirked as they began to walk.
"Downsides to the job?" he wondered and she smiled as well, then sighed.
"Well, it's not that much fun having to take a shower post every time you step outside the door, is it?" she asked and his smirk widened as he observed her. She looked back, slowly growing self-conscious before she looked away. "What?" she asked.
"Huh?" he asked back and she raised her eyebrows.
"What's with the staring match?" she inquired and now he smiled warmly.
"You're not even gonna attempt a bloody guess?" he wondered teasingly, reaching out a hand and taking hers before pulling her close.
She took a breath of his scent, smiling as well, and then she remembered where they were and she pulled away from him, drew her arm back and punched him hard in the nose.
He gave a yell of pain and surprise, his hands going to the body part and his eyes widening with questions.
"What the bleeding...?"
"Don't touch me," she hissed, the anger in her gaze making him take a step back, letting his arms slowly fall to place themselves at his sides. "The next time you touch me I'll rip your hand from your wrist, get me - chippie?" she then added and something close to irritation was seeping into his eyes.
"I've told you not to call me that," he said, voice lowered.
"Oh," she taunted. "What the hell are YOU gonna do about it? ...Chippie."
Turning from him she began to walk again and he grumbled before he followed, observing her back and backside, rather certain she knew exactly where he rested his eyes and he couldn't help but smirk. Stripping it off he quickly found ways back to the annoyance and caught up with her as she turned into the cemetery hosting his home. He grabbed her shoulder and swirled her back to face him.
"I'd say that you'd do best at keeping one sodding eye open," he stated and she looked up at him, glancing at the hand holding her and then crossing her arms over her chest as she directed her gaze into his again. One of her eyebrows was rising and he remembered how frustrated she used to get him when nothing he did seemed to get to her even the slightest. "In fact, you'd do best at growing two of them in your bloody neck!" he then added.
She smiled sweetly, reaching back her free arm and pulling her hand through her long, blonde locks meaningfully before she said:
"Unless I was planning on cutting my hair really short it wouldn't do me any good would it? Bad advice, oh-impotent-one, but then again," she paused as she slid her gaze down his form with a rather evil smile taking the place of the sweet one before she finished: "I didn't exactly expect more from you."
She was turning him on and he tried to ignore it as her eyes rested in his again. He had almost forgotten how good they were at this. At trampling like the cat about to strike the cornered mouse, and prolonging the suffering... Who was the cat, who was the mouse? Neither one of them really knew. It seemed this role-play was the only one that didn't have the actors in consistent parts.
He let her arm go almost gently and the small shift in her gaze made him understand that she wanted him too. He tilted his head slightly to one side, not about to be the first to give in.
"And had my advice been good - would your highness have taken it?" he wondered and she smirked.
"I would say 'touché'," she replied, "but that would imply that this is actually a fight. And I don't fight verbally with anyone."
"Right," he nodded, reaching out his left hand and sliding it from the base of her throat and further down as he added: "but you sure do know how to use that tongue of yours."
She didn't hesitate. She kicked him in the side and sent him down on his knees. Squatting down she moved quicker than light as she reached out and grabbed his right wrist, wringing it up in a rather painful angle and grabbing his hand with her free one.
When he looked up at her his eyes were glistening with danger and the adrenaline went wild inside of her. She licked her lips.
"I warned you," she murmured, her gaze on his mouth. "I said I'd break it off..."
"Do it," he pushed. "Do it... Slayer. Come on. Finish it."
Her heart was pounding in her chest and her concentration was wavering as the need to feel that hand on her breast dimmed her sight for a moment. Before she could react he had torn free and the hand she had threatened to render useless was the one that grabbed her by the throat and pulled her to her feet. He pinned her to the large headstone behind her and then stepped forward, pressing himself against her and she could feel how hard he was, making her juices flow over as she struggled to get loose.
"Get off me," she said, voice strained and he smiled devilishly.
"Come now, love," he murmured, and the small implication behind those words made her ache in a way that near enough drove her to the edge of what was sane.
He brought one hand between her legs and she swallowed hard right before he pressed upward. A silent whine escaped her and she closed her eyes. Then she found some source of strength, got her hands up and against his shoulders, and managed to give him a hard shove. He nearly lost his balance, but regained it as he had backed a few feet away from her.
"Little girl's stronger than she looks," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Seems she wanna play with the big boys."
She cocked an eyebrow, the arrogance on him making her feel a bubbling anger as well as a rising heat. She didn't think anyone had ever looked as cool and controlled as he did in that moment. His duster slick in the light of the slim moon, his eyes glittering with tease and menace - with thirst for a fight and with hungered lust. She wanted him between her thighs, beaten to the ground and with no chance for retreat. And she wanted him there, naked and panting... moaning with the pleasure she granted him. The combined wanting was making her breathe hard, glaring at him with a challenge to do his best.
Everything seemed to grow still and quiet. Waiting.
The two warriors observed each other. Estimated the other. Appraised what they already knew so well, and labelled it. Strength. Speed. Reflexes. Body. Heart. Soul...
They moved at the exact same time. Buffy moved her right hand forward, clenched into a fist, and Spike met it with his left hand - taking a tight hold on it and their chests met as their eyes didn't leave the others.
"I'm not gonna fight you," she murmured, sliding her free hand inside his duster and he bit his jaws together.
He pushed her away from him, making her stumble backwards and then she ducked to avoid the leg he kicked out. She delivered a few rather bad blows as well, and they quickly made their way up to his residence. She grabbed him by the shirt and made him walk backwards; once they were by the door she pushed him hard and it flew open, giving way for the both of them.
It had barely been shut again before she was on him. Jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist she kissed him deeply and he pressed her up against the wall as his hands slid to the button of her pants. She was making small sounds and when his fingers began to work her clit her groans grew loud, her mouth left his as she threw her head back and she ground her hips against his hand as both of her own slid into his hair.
The orgasm was powerful and every limb of her body was shaking as it coursed through her. He didn't stop. His fingers were deep inside of her and she felt the build up start immediately. She was taking hard huffs of air, her soft moans pushing him on.
The second orgasm lasted for nearly two minutes and had her biting her lower lip so hard that she almost drew blood. Once he removed his hand she slid down to stand on her feet and had to wrap her arms around his shoulders in order to keep from falling to the floor. Her legs wouldn't work with her.
"You okay?" he whispered and she looked up at him with a dazed expression before she moved her head up to kiss him deeply.
"Your turn," she then whispered as well, bringing trembling fingers to the buckle of his belt.
***
Day Thirty-Four.
1.02 a.m.
"We can't be seen together like... this," she mumbled and he murmured his agreement sleepily. "I mean, outside these walls... we can't be too friendly. If Adam really is playing all Demon Trooper Leader here, we have to be careful. We don't know how he thinks, but... he has to be smart. We can't let him suspect anything is out of the ordinary. Then he might not..."
She trailed off and Spike stirred slightly, making her turn her head to look up at him. He met her gaze with eyes bearing a sad trace which made her heart softly ache. He was still unsure of what he was to her. So was she.
"Then he might not try to make contact," he murmured, filling in her interrupted sentence and she nodded slowly. "Don't worry, pet," he mumbled, closing his eyes again though she still watched his relaxing features. "The good guys always win these things. Your plan'll work like a charm."
She wanted to let one hand's fingertips caress his lower lip, she wanted to let them set their marks of feather light touch up his cheek. She wanted to tell him that no matter what - she didn't want to lose him... Not now.
But she held all of it back and put her head down on his chest again. Closing her eyes as well and gently drifting into dreamless sleep.
***
8.14 a.m.
Buffy swallowed another piece of her toast as Spike came from the trapdoor to join her in the crypt. She didn't look at him, merely pointed to the TV- screen and said:
"Soap's ahoy!"
He gave her a playful smack on the back of her head and she grinned, then he walked into the kitchen to grab himself some breakfast as well. She munched her toast gingerly and swallowed a mouthful of orange juice, not taking her eyes off the screen showing the cast of Passions, all in the middle of a loud argument having erupted between two of the members. A young girl and an older gentleman who kept running his hands through his grey streaked hair, in frustration or annoyance or anger or... Well, frankly it was hard to tell.
"So, I heard some news regarding..." Spike began and she raised one hand before flailing it as a gesture for him to be quiet.
He looked at her so transfixed by the screen and then he heard the signal of the show coming to a close.
"Oh, no! I wanted to know who the father of Destiny's bastard child is!" Buffy exclaimed and he could hear the mock-distress in her voice as she rose dramatically from the armchair before turning to him. "I feel ill," she added with the back of her hand to her forehead and a fatigued expression on her face.
"Shut the hell up," he muttered, still smirking.
"So, what did you hear?" she asked, coming up to him and watching him tear the top edge of the bag filled with heated blood and then pour the thick liquid into a clean mug.
"Pretty bad demon attack last night," he replied, facing her as he sipped the blood. "A buncha Initiatives got hurt," he added and the flash of concern travelling over her face made him more annoyed than he would have thought it could. "Don't worry, loverboy's quite safe," he muttered sourly before walking passed her and into the room.
Buffy furrowed her brow, turning to him and watching him as he once again faced her. He cocked an eyebrow at the questioning look on her face and she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Loverboy?" she asked. "I hope you put a very large X in front of that word," she added and he slurped his blood without answering. She began to grow irritated. "Are you ALWAYS this insecure?" she demanded and at that he swallowed hard, giving her a glare as he put the mug down by the TV.
"I SAW how you reacted," he shot and she gave him a look before inquiring:
"And how was that - exactly?"
"Exactly?"
"Yes, please."
"Worried," he stated. "Scared that something had happened your precious little 'ex'."
She shook her head practically unnoticeably before she took a step forward.
"Riley is someone who's been a part of my life. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I still care for him, Spike. Of course I was worried and scared, but that's all there was."
"Don't bloody call me insecure," he grumbled, barely looking at her now and she took the few paces up to him before she made him meet her gaze again.
"I think I understand," she merely replied.
He looked at her for a few seconds, then turned from her.
"You have to go," he said and she frowned. "School," he added, turning to look at her over his shoulder and she smiled tryingly.
He returned it, all be it meekly, and she left with a small lump in her stomach that wouldn't go away. She hadn't seen this side of him before... What were they really trying to build here? Did they even have the foundation for it? Did she trust him...? Did he trust her? Then again, what would she think if Drusilla decided to reappear? Spike had been with that crazed demon for one hundred years and beyond... If that wasn't love...?
God, what if I'm just his rebound object? she thought with her heart suddenly in her throat. No. No, Harmony was that...
She had to smile at the thought of Spike with that brainless twerp. He may have had a few really lousy plans of his own in his day, but he was smart. He was streetwise. And he used that to the max. Harmony... What had he been doing with her, anyway? What could the reason possibly have been for him to...
Insight hit her the next second and she shook her head at herself and her own naïveté. Of course the only reason for Spike to have a woman, he most likely couldn't stand, around him would be for the simple reason of having a woman around him. And in his bed. Of course.
Now the Slayer came to a harsh stop.
He most likely sweet talked that poor girl in between his sheets until she was so hooked that she couldn't bring herself to leave him. He manipulated her to stay with him and took advantage of the situation in every possible way that he could. And he could surely not have enjoyed Harmony's company or conversation...
"But WE talk," she said out loud to herself. "We even laugh..."
You're NOT Harmony, she stated firmly in her head. And you're not some cheap replica of Drusilla, either. Remember he told you he loves you? Remember how you found yourself compelled to believe him? Buffy, whatever it is that's there between you - don't run from it...
She drew a small breath.
What if there's nothing there? What if I'm really being played by him? What if he is just that good an actor? What if it's all been a mind game right from the start? What if he planned it this way? What if he has finally succeeded with one of those schemes that I've so easily seen through before? God, what if it's all been a lie?!
"Buffy..."
She twirled around, meeting Riley's gaze with one rather startled of her own.
"Hey," she then greeted, trying to keep the 'busted!' posture away from her as she knew full-well that he couldn't read her thoughts. "Hi," she added and he raised his eyebrows.
"Headed for campus?" he asked and she nodded. "Can I join you?" he wondered and once again she gave a small nod before they began to walk.
They were silent for a while and then Riley took it upon himself to speak as he said:
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper yesterday. I'm not angry... I'm just... confused."
"And let's not leave out disgusted, grossed out and abhorred," she grumbled.
He smiled a little.
"Let's not," he agreed silently. "Look, I wanted to see if I could find you 'cause we're going on a demon hunt and I wanted to know if you'd like to join."
She stopped, and turned to him with a questioning wrinkle between her eyebrows.
"This got anything to do with the team that got hit last night?" she asked and he gave her a wondering look. "Word... gets around," she explained.
"This has everything to do with the team that got hit last night," he stated. "We lost Willis. And we nearly lost Graham, too," he added and she blinked.
"Wow... I'm... I'm sorry to hear that," she said and he nodded.
"So? You game? We could really use your help."
"What kinda demon is it?" she wondered and he frowned.
"Does it matter?" he asked back and it was her turn to look questioning. "Look, we'll gag it and bag it - like all the rest. And then all I can do is hope they'll let me have a private moment with it."
"They're all the same to you, aren't they?" she asked and he raised his eyebrows. "Demons... They're all folded into one single category - bad."
Now he stared at her.
"What are you trying to say with that? 'Please - stop tracking my boyfriend'?" he snapped and she shook her head at him.
"That's not even..." she began, thinking better of it and taking another bend in the road with: "All I'm saying is that there are different degrees of..."
"Evil?" he filled in, sceptically, and she sighed.
"It's just different with... different demons. There are creatures - vampires, for example - that aren't evil at all," she replied and he rolled his eyes at her.
"Oh, come on!" he then exclaimed. "How blinded are you by this un-dead, not- living fiend anyway?! Don't you see what he's doing? Once he's gathered all the info on you that he needs to destroy you he'll kill you!"
"I wasn't referring to HIM," she stated coolly. " And he can't kill me, remember? You saw to that."
"And I think we haven't been thanked properly," Riley remarked.
"Thank you," she replied, her expression tight.
"You can't be serious with him, Buffy. He can't give you a life," Riley murmured. "All he can ever do is bring you death. In the end he'll make you miserable."
"But right now he makes me happy," she said with her eyes suddenly glistening with angered tears. "And I don't need you, or anybody else, judging that."
"Oh, and you're not judging yourself?" he inquired. "Have you told everybody about you? Giles, Xander, Willow? No, I bet you haven't. Because they couldn't possibly deal. Happy, Buffy? I don't think so. I don't believe that. I don't think that thing could spread anything but pain. And I can promise you that he WILL hurt you. I think deep down you know that too. Somehow he's made you refuse to see it..."
"You don't know anything at all," she grumbled, blinking the tears away with effort.
"Really? And without the chip in the back of his skull... would you be able to relax in his presence? It was only a month or so ago that he wanted nothing but your head on his wall. You think he's just snapped out of that? He's not a different degree of evil, Buffy - he's just the plain old kind. And he won't ever change. Not even for you."
With that he turned and left swiftly. She watched him go and then slowly got herself moving as well.
His words had dug into her already messed up thoughts and now they were settled there, rendering her powerless in her attempts to release herself of them. What if...? What if he was right? What if her own fears were true...? What if. What if. What if.
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I can't believe how late this chapter is. I have been locked up tight in personal matters this week and haven't gotten a chance to do two things which I promised you wonderful people:
the first being my replies for the chapter prior to the one I posted last Monday being posted at the latest on the Wednesday night. I had no chance to get to a computer (something which I thought wouldn't be a problem) and so I will have to make good on that promise tomorrow.
The second being the fact that I was going to be a lot quicker with my updates. Life got in the way, I can't find a better or more worthy explanation than that, and I hope you will have patience with me. To make amends I wrote a longer chapter this time. The next chapter WILL be up tomorrow or at the latest on Tuesday. (And please, don't roll your eyes!) ;)
Very warm thankyous to Rachel, Cate, LizDarcy, thechosen, qattaca, tricia, Von, charisma, Heather, Mel, Pine, Leanne, Faith, vuks and Hayama - thank you all so VERY much and I'm so happy that you like and want more and I SWEAR to you (because I personally really do feel a WEEK is just perpostrous for you to have to wait) that the next update WILL be faster than fast! Personals will be up tomorrow, along with the ones for Softly We Tread. Thank you and I bid you a GOOD night!
All My Love, Annie.
Thirty-Seven: What If
By Annie
2003-06-06
****************************************************************************
Day Thirty-Three.
12.03 p.m.
"Spike?" Buffy yelled as she stepped through the door of the crypt with a bag containing food from the local DMP and an emptied cup previously containing hot coffee. "You here?" she added, shutting the door and walking into the room, stopping by the armchair and putting the bag down on the TV before getting out of her jacket. "Sp-...?!" she was about to try again, being cut off by the shape of a man stepping out of the shadows to her left.
She jumped. It was too tall to be Spike. Then she relaxed the Slayer part of her as she realized who it was.
"Riley," she breathed, relieved. "You scared me!"
He came into the light, his face a tight mask and she swallowed.
"I'm surprised to see you here..." she said hesitantly, glancing at the bag of food and how home-y it looked, that she had brought it to a place where she a few months ago wouldn't have gone unarmed - chip or no.
"Imagine what I am," he then replied, the hint of bitterness in his voice made her bite her jaws together. "I suppose you find that funny," he then added and she furrowed her brow slightly, about to open her mouth and deny that statement when he continued: "That I actually had this small sliver of hope somewhere that in the end this was all some sick...game your mind was playing on you. That once you had had him, you'd let him go and return to the living. To me." He huffed now and she tried to come up with something to say. "But you're clearly..." he grumbled with a small gesture of one hand to the room in general before he finished: "...making yourself at home."
"Riley," she finally got word over tongue, but he wouldn't have it.
Shaking his head he walked passed her, saying:
"I want to let you know that the Initiative has their hands full, the demons seem to be stirring and everything points to Adam... If you have a break in the search for him, we'd appreciate it if you let us know."
"You came HERE looking for me?" she asked, surprised.
"No," he replied, barely looking at her and something twitched in her heart as she watched the distance he was creating between them. "I had something to discuss with H17..."
"Please, don't call him..."
"...but since it's not here, I'll have to see if I can find it somewhere else. If you see it, tell it that I'm looking and it's only a matter of time."
"Riley..."
"I have to go."
And he left.
She didn't know what to feel. What to think. And what was it that Riley wanted to talk with Spike about? What could they possibly have to discuss? She felt a worry start somewhere in her stomach region and she couldn't make it out. Initiative business seemed the most logical reason for Riley to be looking for the vampire... But, what could that be then? To simply capture him again? That seemed too petty, and why would Riley tell HER?
"Hey," Spike's voice said as he stuck his head up through the trapdoor in the floor by the wall to her left, which was facing the wall of the door. "What're you doing here?" he added as he climbed up to face her.
She didn't move, merely watched him in silence and he knew the look on her. That Slayer bit of her brain was working feverishly, and since her gaze was locked in his he had good cause to believe that it was doing the overtime on account of him. What had that wanker of a soldier boy said to her that had her all like this? He could smell Riley, and the scent had him shivering with annoyance. Now he sighed.
"What is it, love?" he wondered and she smiled a little.
"Nothing," she then shrugged, slipping out of the place where she seemingly had gone and reaching back to grab the bag from on top of the TV. "Wanted to have lunch with you," she then added and he smiled tentatively back at that.
"Didn't think you appreciated my table manners," he then pointed out and she smirked.
"You have no table," she then shot. "Which means we'll have to do it in bed and seriously, you know how I simply LOVE your 'bedside' manners."
Now he chuckled.
"I've missed you," he murmured, coming up to her and sliding his arms around her.
"I've been gone for two hours," she remarked and he made a face of discomfort.
"Please," he then whispered, bending forward and kissing her gently. "No reminders."
She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and returning his kisses.
***
10.34 p.m.
Spike ducked and swung one leg out, hitting the vampire he was fighting in the chest and sending it flying. Buffy was there right away and sunk her stake into its heart before she swirled around and met the punch of the second vamp, attacking her from behind, with one arm. She ducked and then delivered an upper-cut to the vampire's chin, having it stumble backwards and right into Spike's awaiting arms. He held it and Buffy did away with it by once again using the tip of her trusted companion.
She shuddered as she brushed at the ashes decorating her jacket in fine layers.
"I wish someone could invent dust-resistant Slayer wear," she muttered and he smirked as they began to walk.
"Downsides to the job?" he wondered and she smiled as well, then sighed.
"Well, it's not that much fun having to take a shower post every time you step outside the door, is it?" she asked and his smirk widened as he observed her. She looked back, slowly growing self-conscious before she looked away. "What?" she asked.
"Huh?" he asked back and she raised her eyebrows.
"What's with the staring match?" she inquired and now he smiled warmly.
"You're not even gonna attempt a bloody guess?" he wondered teasingly, reaching out a hand and taking hers before pulling her close.
She took a breath of his scent, smiling as well, and then she remembered where they were and she pulled away from him, drew her arm back and punched him hard in the nose.
He gave a yell of pain and surprise, his hands going to the body part and his eyes widening with questions.
"What the bleeding...?"
"Don't touch me," she hissed, the anger in her gaze making him take a step back, letting his arms slowly fall to place themselves at his sides. "The next time you touch me I'll rip your hand from your wrist, get me - chippie?" she then added and something close to irritation was seeping into his eyes.
"I've told you not to call me that," he said, voice lowered.
"Oh," she taunted. "What the hell are YOU gonna do about it? ...Chippie."
Turning from him she began to walk again and he grumbled before he followed, observing her back and backside, rather certain she knew exactly where he rested his eyes and he couldn't help but smirk. Stripping it off he quickly found ways back to the annoyance and caught up with her as she turned into the cemetery hosting his home. He grabbed her shoulder and swirled her back to face him.
"I'd say that you'd do best at keeping one sodding eye open," he stated and she looked up at him, glancing at the hand holding her and then crossing her arms over her chest as she directed her gaze into his again. One of her eyebrows was rising and he remembered how frustrated she used to get him when nothing he did seemed to get to her even the slightest. "In fact, you'd do best at growing two of them in your bloody neck!" he then added.
She smiled sweetly, reaching back her free arm and pulling her hand through her long, blonde locks meaningfully before she said:
"Unless I was planning on cutting my hair really short it wouldn't do me any good would it? Bad advice, oh-impotent-one, but then again," she paused as she slid her gaze down his form with a rather evil smile taking the place of the sweet one before she finished: "I didn't exactly expect more from you."
She was turning him on and he tried to ignore it as her eyes rested in his again. He had almost forgotten how good they were at this. At trampling like the cat about to strike the cornered mouse, and prolonging the suffering... Who was the cat, who was the mouse? Neither one of them really knew. It seemed this role-play was the only one that didn't have the actors in consistent parts.
He let her arm go almost gently and the small shift in her gaze made him understand that she wanted him too. He tilted his head slightly to one side, not about to be the first to give in.
"And had my advice been good - would your highness have taken it?" he wondered and she smirked.
"I would say 'touché'," she replied, "but that would imply that this is actually a fight. And I don't fight verbally with anyone."
"Right," he nodded, reaching out his left hand and sliding it from the base of her throat and further down as he added: "but you sure do know how to use that tongue of yours."
She didn't hesitate. She kicked him in the side and sent him down on his knees. Squatting down she moved quicker than light as she reached out and grabbed his right wrist, wringing it up in a rather painful angle and grabbing his hand with her free one.
When he looked up at her his eyes were glistening with danger and the adrenaline went wild inside of her. She licked her lips.
"I warned you," she murmured, her gaze on his mouth. "I said I'd break it off..."
"Do it," he pushed. "Do it... Slayer. Come on. Finish it."
Her heart was pounding in her chest and her concentration was wavering as the need to feel that hand on her breast dimmed her sight for a moment. Before she could react he had torn free and the hand she had threatened to render useless was the one that grabbed her by the throat and pulled her to her feet. He pinned her to the large headstone behind her and then stepped forward, pressing himself against her and she could feel how hard he was, making her juices flow over as she struggled to get loose.
"Get off me," she said, voice strained and he smiled devilishly.
"Come now, love," he murmured, and the small implication behind those words made her ache in a way that near enough drove her to the edge of what was sane.
He brought one hand between her legs and she swallowed hard right before he pressed upward. A silent whine escaped her and she closed her eyes. Then she found some source of strength, got her hands up and against his shoulders, and managed to give him a hard shove. He nearly lost his balance, but regained it as he had backed a few feet away from her.
"Little girl's stronger than she looks," he chuckled, shaking his head. "Seems she wanna play with the big boys."
She cocked an eyebrow, the arrogance on him making her feel a bubbling anger as well as a rising heat. She didn't think anyone had ever looked as cool and controlled as he did in that moment. His duster slick in the light of the slim moon, his eyes glittering with tease and menace - with thirst for a fight and with hungered lust. She wanted him between her thighs, beaten to the ground and with no chance for retreat. And she wanted him there, naked and panting... moaning with the pleasure she granted him. The combined wanting was making her breathe hard, glaring at him with a challenge to do his best.
Everything seemed to grow still and quiet. Waiting.
The two warriors observed each other. Estimated the other. Appraised what they already knew so well, and labelled it. Strength. Speed. Reflexes. Body. Heart. Soul...
They moved at the exact same time. Buffy moved her right hand forward, clenched into a fist, and Spike met it with his left hand - taking a tight hold on it and their chests met as their eyes didn't leave the others.
"I'm not gonna fight you," she murmured, sliding her free hand inside his duster and he bit his jaws together.
He pushed her away from him, making her stumble backwards and then she ducked to avoid the leg he kicked out. She delivered a few rather bad blows as well, and they quickly made their way up to his residence. She grabbed him by the shirt and made him walk backwards; once they were by the door she pushed him hard and it flew open, giving way for the both of them.
It had barely been shut again before she was on him. Jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist she kissed him deeply and he pressed her up against the wall as his hands slid to the button of her pants. She was making small sounds and when his fingers began to work her clit her groans grew loud, her mouth left his as she threw her head back and she ground her hips against his hand as both of her own slid into his hair.
The orgasm was powerful and every limb of her body was shaking as it coursed through her. He didn't stop. His fingers were deep inside of her and she felt the build up start immediately. She was taking hard huffs of air, her soft moans pushing him on.
The second orgasm lasted for nearly two minutes and had her biting her lower lip so hard that she almost drew blood. Once he removed his hand she slid down to stand on her feet and had to wrap her arms around his shoulders in order to keep from falling to the floor. Her legs wouldn't work with her.
"You okay?" he whispered and she looked up at him with a dazed expression before she moved her head up to kiss him deeply.
"Your turn," she then whispered as well, bringing trembling fingers to the buckle of his belt.
***
Day Thirty-Four.
1.02 a.m.
"We can't be seen together like... this," she mumbled and he murmured his agreement sleepily. "I mean, outside these walls... we can't be too friendly. If Adam really is playing all Demon Trooper Leader here, we have to be careful. We don't know how he thinks, but... he has to be smart. We can't let him suspect anything is out of the ordinary. Then he might not..."
She trailed off and Spike stirred slightly, making her turn her head to look up at him. He met her gaze with eyes bearing a sad trace which made her heart softly ache. He was still unsure of what he was to her. So was she.
"Then he might not try to make contact," he murmured, filling in her interrupted sentence and she nodded slowly. "Don't worry, pet," he mumbled, closing his eyes again though she still watched his relaxing features. "The good guys always win these things. Your plan'll work like a charm."
She wanted to let one hand's fingertips caress his lower lip, she wanted to let them set their marks of feather light touch up his cheek. She wanted to tell him that no matter what - she didn't want to lose him... Not now.
But she held all of it back and put her head down on his chest again. Closing her eyes as well and gently drifting into dreamless sleep.
***
8.14 a.m.
Buffy swallowed another piece of her toast as Spike came from the trapdoor to join her in the crypt. She didn't look at him, merely pointed to the TV- screen and said:
"Soap's ahoy!"
He gave her a playful smack on the back of her head and she grinned, then he walked into the kitchen to grab himself some breakfast as well. She munched her toast gingerly and swallowed a mouthful of orange juice, not taking her eyes off the screen showing the cast of Passions, all in the middle of a loud argument having erupted between two of the members. A young girl and an older gentleman who kept running his hands through his grey streaked hair, in frustration or annoyance or anger or... Well, frankly it was hard to tell.
"So, I heard some news regarding..." Spike began and she raised one hand before flailing it as a gesture for him to be quiet.
He looked at her so transfixed by the screen and then he heard the signal of the show coming to a close.
"Oh, no! I wanted to know who the father of Destiny's bastard child is!" Buffy exclaimed and he could hear the mock-distress in her voice as she rose dramatically from the armchair before turning to him. "I feel ill," she added with the back of her hand to her forehead and a fatigued expression on her face.
"Shut the hell up," he muttered, still smirking.
"So, what did you hear?" she asked, coming up to him and watching him tear the top edge of the bag filled with heated blood and then pour the thick liquid into a clean mug.
"Pretty bad demon attack last night," he replied, facing her as he sipped the blood. "A buncha Initiatives got hurt," he added and the flash of concern travelling over her face made him more annoyed than he would have thought it could. "Don't worry, loverboy's quite safe," he muttered sourly before walking passed her and into the room.
Buffy furrowed her brow, turning to him and watching him as he once again faced her. He cocked an eyebrow at the questioning look on her face and she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Loverboy?" she asked. "I hope you put a very large X in front of that word," she added and he slurped his blood without answering. She began to grow irritated. "Are you ALWAYS this insecure?" she demanded and at that he swallowed hard, giving her a glare as he put the mug down by the TV.
"I SAW how you reacted," he shot and she gave him a look before inquiring:
"And how was that - exactly?"
"Exactly?"
"Yes, please."
"Worried," he stated. "Scared that something had happened your precious little 'ex'."
She shook her head practically unnoticeably before she took a step forward.
"Riley is someone who's been a part of my life. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I still care for him, Spike. Of course I was worried and scared, but that's all there was."
"Don't bloody call me insecure," he grumbled, barely looking at her now and she took the few paces up to him before she made him meet her gaze again.
"I think I understand," she merely replied.
He looked at her for a few seconds, then turned from her.
"You have to go," he said and she frowned. "School," he added, turning to look at her over his shoulder and she smiled tryingly.
He returned it, all be it meekly, and she left with a small lump in her stomach that wouldn't go away. She hadn't seen this side of him before... What were they really trying to build here? Did they even have the foundation for it? Did she trust him...? Did he trust her? Then again, what would she think if Drusilla decided to reappear? Spike had been with that crazed demon for one hundred years and beyond... If that wasn't love...?
God, what if I'm just his rebound object? she thought with her heart suddenly in her throat. No. No, Harmony was that...
She had to smile at the thought of Spike with that brainless twerp. He may have had a few really lousy plans of his own in his day, but he was smart. He was streetwise. And he used that to the max. Harmony... What had he been doing with her, anyway? What could the reason possibly have been for him to...
Insight hit her the next second and she shook her head at herself and her own naïveté. Of course the only reason for Spike to have a woman, he most likely couldn't stand, around him would be for the simple reason of having a woman around him. And in his bed. Of course.
Now the Slayer came to a harsh stop.
He most likely sweet talked that poor girl in between his sheets until she was so hooked that she couldn't bring herself to leave him. He manipulated her to stay with him and took advantage of the situation in every possible way that he could. And he could surely not have enjoyed Harmony's company or conversation...
"But WE talk," she said out loud to herself. "We even laugh..."
You're NOT Harmony, she stated firmly in her head. And you're not some cheap replica of Drusilla, either. Remember he told you he loves you? Remember how you found yourself compelled to believe him? Buffy, whatever it is that's there between you - don't run from it...
She drew a small breath.
What if there's nothing there? What if I'm really being played by him? What if he is just that good an actor? What if it's all been a mind game right from the start? What if he planned it this way? What if he has finally succeeded with one of those schemes that I've so easily seen through before? God, what if it's all been a lie?!
"Buffy..."
She twirled around, meeting Riley's gaze with one rather startled of her own.
"Hey," she then greeted, trying to keep the 'busted!' posture away from her as she knew full-well that he couldn't read her thoughts. "Hi," she added and he raised his eyebrows.
"Headed for campus?" he asked and she nodded. "Can I join you?" he wondered and once again she gave a small nod before they began to walk.
They were silent for a while and then Riley took it upon himself to speak as he said:
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper yesterday. I'm not angry... I'm just... confused."
"And let's not leave out disgusted, grossed out and abhorred," she grumbled.
He smiled a little.
"Let's not," he agreed silently. "Look, I wanted to see if I could find you 'cause we're going on a demon hunt and I wanted to know if you'd like to join."
She stopped, and turned to him with a questioning wrinkle between her eyebrows.
"This got anything to do with the team that got hit last night?" she asked and he gave her a wondering look. "Word... gets around," she explained.
"This has everything to do with the team that got hit last night," he stated. "We lost Willis. And we nearly lost Graham, too," he added and she blinked.
"Wow... I'm... I'm sorry to hear that," she said and he nodded.
"So? You game? We could really use your help."
"What kinda demon is it?" she wondered and he frowned.
"Does it matter?" he asked back and it was her turn to look questioning. "Look, we'll gag it and bag it - like all the rest. And then all I can do is hope they'll let me have a private moment with it."
"They're all the same to you, aren't they?" she asked and he raised his eyebrows. "Demons... They're all folded into one single category - bad."
Now he stared at her.
"What are you trying to say with that? 'Please - stop tracking my boyfriend'?" he snapped and she shook her head at him.
"That's not even..." she began, thinking better of it and taking another bend in the road with: "All I'm saying is that there are different degrees of..."
"Evil?" he filled in, sceptically, and she sighed.
"It's just different with... different demons. There are creatures - vampires, for example - that aren't evil at all," she replied and he rolled his eyes at her.
"Oh, come on!" he then exclaimed. "How blinded are you by this un-dead, not- living fiend anyway?! Don't you see what he's doing? Once he's gathered all the info on you that he needs to destroy you he'll kill you!"
"I wasn't referring to HIM," she stated coolly. " And he can't kill me, remember? You saw to that."
"And I think we haven't been thanked properly," Riley remarked.
"Thank you," she replied, her expression tight.
"You can't be serious with him, Buffy. He can't give you a life," Riley murmured. "All he can ever do is bring you death. In the end he'll make you miserable."
"But right now he makes me happy," she said with her eyes suddenly glistening with angered tears. "And I don't need you, or anybody else, judging that."
"Oh, and you're not judging yourself?" he inquired. "Have you told everybody about you? Giles, Xander, Willow? No, I bet you haven't. Because they couldn't possibly deal. Happy, Buffy? I don't think so. I don't believe that. I don't think that thing could spread anything but pain. And I can promise you that he WILL hurt you. I think deep down you know that too. Somehow he's made you refuse to see it..."
"You don't know anything at all," she grumbled, blinking the tears away with effort.
"Really? And without the chip in the back of his skull... would you be able to relax in his presence? It was only a month or so ago that he wanted nothing but your head on his wall. You think he's just snapped out of that? He's not a different degree of evil, Buffy - he's just the plain old kind. And he won't ever change. Not even for you."
With that he turned and left swiftly. She watched him go and then slowly got herself moving as well.
His words had dug into her already messed up thoughts and now they were settled there, rendering her powerless in her attempts to release herself of them. What if...? What if he was right? What if her own fears were true...? What if. What if. What if.
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I can't believe how late this chapter is. I have been locked up tight in personal matters this week and haven't gotten a chance to do two things which I promised you wonderful people:
the first being my replies for the chapter prior to the one I posted last Monday being posted at the latest on the Wednesday night. I had no chance to get to a computer (something which I thought wouldn't be a problem) and so I will have to make good on that promise tomorrow.
The second being the fact that I was going to be a lot quicker with my updates. Life got in the way, I can't find a better or more worthy explanation than that, and I hope you will have patience with me. To make amends I wrote a longer chapter this time. The next chapter WILL be up tomorrow or at the latest on Tuesday. (And please, don't roll your eyes!) ;)
Very warm thankyous to Rachel, Cate, LizDarcy, thechosen, qattaca, tricia, Von, charisma, Heather, Mel, Pine, Leanne, Faith, vuks and Hayama - thank you all so VERY much and I'm so happy that you like and want more and I SWEAR to you (because I personally really do feel a WEEK is just perpostrous for you to have to wait) that the next update WILL be faster than fast! Personals will be up tomorrow, along with the ones for Softly We Tread. Thank you and I bid you a GOOD night!
All My Love, Annie.