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Forty-Five: It's Always the Quiet Ones
By Annie
2003-07-10
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Day Thirty-Seven.
11.00 a.m.
Buffy huffed as she slung her back pack over one shoulder. Looking around at the quickly scurrying population of her class she caught the gaze of Willow, who was seemingly waiting for her by the doors of the large classroom. The Slayer got herself moving in that direction and the two friends joined in a uni-walk down the hallway.
Willow looked interested and Buffy knew that she was expecting a detailed page-by-page recap of the exam, down to juiciest need for sharpening of writing tools. However, the Slayer had begun to bite the inside of her lip, trying to decide whether she should spill her promise to Spike and beg for the redhead's advice on a good approach with Giles and Xander - or whether she should keep her mouth shut and take the crucial moment as it presented itself; therefore there wasn't much room for retelling the easier, versus the un-answerable, questions.
That crucial moment, though...
Well, there would be teeth grinding together. And sour expressions. A few curses. Of course one or two stunned expressions right before the yelling and spitting and demanding of an explanation began... But apart from expecting all that Buffy had no idea what she should say.
Should she go "Hey, everybody" and then drag Spike into clear sight with his arms around her? Or should she walk in first, calm the stampede and then let the vampire in? Or maybe the safest way to do it would be to have one-on-one conversations and ease the fact of Spike into the two men's minds? Or...
"Buffy?" Willow asked, making the namesake turn her head to the former with a questioning frown before it quickly wore off and the blonde smiled dismissively.
"Sorry," she murmured and Willow smiled back, shaking her head.
"No need. My head's usually too full after a test to do much talking, too," she then stated and Buffy laughed half-heartedly before she cleared her throat.
"Yeah," she mumbled.
"It feels like I haven't seen you in days," Willow said, hooking her arm with Buffy's as they exited the building they had inhabited and crossed the lawn leading to their dormitory. "How was L.A.?" she added and Buffy searched for the right answer, then gave it in form of a:
"Intense."
Willow nodded empathetically.
"Did it.disconfuse anything? Regarding... Bleachy?" she inquired and Buffy giggled at that choice of nickname before she pushed open the heavy door to the building in which their shared home was situated and they both stepped inside.
"Yes," she then replied; stopping and facing Willow as their arms fell to their sides instead. "Yeah, it really disconfused things. All of the things... I think."
"Tell me more," Willow encouraged and Buffy smiled rather embarrassed.
Spike was like no other man. He was hard to describe and even more difficult was it to try and put into words what it was about him that buried itself within and refused to let her go. How could she rightfully pinpoint what it was that had her falling for him, and hard at that? It might have scared her, if not for the knowledge of him inevitably being there to catch her before she hit the ground; before she got hurt. In what way could she clarify why she needed him, and wanted him, and craved him, and longed for him? Because of course he had the bod of a god going for him, and he had the touch of an angel combined with the kiss of something fiercely resembling a devil as it took over and, if she didn't watch herself, could easily become an obsession. But that deeper notion of something else... how could she make that understandable?
She couldn't tell of the way he made her laugh, how he made her feel special and cared for and loved - safe; more so than ever before in her life. She couldn't tell of it because it couldn't do the emotions justice.
So, she thought decisively. I'll have no choice but to show them, all of them.
"...but Tara didn't think that was a really good idea and so I just pushed another button and when I lifted my finger all the mumbo turned into jumbo for a second or two, and then it was almost like it 'dinged' itself ready and all the information just flooded the screen. I thought 'yay, Willow: one, computer: zero' - 'til I figured the computer actually did all the work since it didn't happen while I was tapping into anything, but when I was pausing... Or I guess it was the disk. Then again, Spike did say that it was bogus and that I probably shouldn't spend hours in front of it. Which I completely discarded 'cause I thought he could be really wrong, Adam's not so stupid that he doesn't make it hard for us. Plus - it was way too fun to not fool around with it for a while...or a day... Anyways, it's done," the Wicca finished while Buffy stared at her, rather uncomprehending and still not very eager to have her friend repeat the flow of words she had just let stream from her mouth.
"Oh..." she therefore said. "Great, Will. That's...terrific."
Willow smirked, throwing her bag on her bed before she said:
"Don't worry, face-like-a-question-mark lady. We're meeting up at Giles' around five and then I'll give you a not so thorough low down."
Buffy smiled as well, letting her backpack fall to the floor before she sunk down on her bed.
"Do you think Spike is all evil?" she then asked before she managed to completely realize what she was saying.
She raised her gaze to Willow's, who observed her in silence for a short while before she answered:
"No. I don't think I do. I mean... I've seen what you've meant, with the whole kinda fluffy Spike, you know? Kinda like 'Hey, here's the disk's, bloody well crack 'em fast, Red - or whatever...'" Her previous smirk widened at Buffy keeping her giggles back at the formers impression of the vampire, then the redhead slowly added: "'I know you can do it'. He said that, right before he was about to leave. Just like that. 'I know you can do it'. I was really... surprised. And - as mentioned - fluffy Spike."
Buffy smiled widely now, her eyes glittering with a cheerfulness Willow hadn't seen in those green orbs in far too long and she returned the smile with a mixture of relief and growing worry. Buffy was in love, Willow was as sure of it as of the A she was getting on the math pop-quiz she had been taking an hour earlier. Buffy had fallen for a vampire, but this time there was no soul, this time there was only the frailty of faith, this time the Slayer might get seriously injured. A cut so deep it might bleed her of her trust...
Then Willow shook her head and followed Buffy's example - the blonde now splayed out across the bed opposite the redhead's. Willow looked up at the ceiling with a sudden gush of determination.
She knew what she had to do.
***
4.36 p.m.
Spike turned to Buffy when she entered the crypt. He returned the smile she directed at him and then she came to stand before him. She seemed almost as nervous as he felt, though she kept a cool exterior. Her heart was beating irregularly and the look in her eyes told him more about what was going on inside her than her posture ever could.
"Your day was...?" he began, but she filled it in before he finished with a quick:
"Good. Day was good... Yours?"
"Oh, just... usual. Lotta... sleeping going on."
She smirked.
"Liar," she then replied and he put on an innocent expression, which still didn't quite fit onto his features, before he gave a small shrug.
"Okay, so I've pretty much been waiting for you since you bloody left," he muttered and then he smiled a crooked smile as he glanced up at her and the smile she bore widened.
"You been standing up the whole time too?" she inquired teasingly and he reached out one hand and grabbed her waist, pulling her to him as she giggled, putting her arms up and around his neck.
Looking up at him with a tender expression in her eyes she then closed them and met his kiss. They deepened it and he pulled her hard to him. She was the one to break it, softly, and the trace of a pout glided over his lower lip - making her attack his mouth again. He seemed more than content with that. Finally she pulled away slightly, shaking her head and drawing a breath.
"There's a Scooby meeting at five," she stated, amazed at how casual her voice actually sounded. "I don't wanna be late."
He seemed to be put on pause as he more or less stared at her, and then he nodded.
"So - this is really it, huh?" he asked and she looked at him before she let another smile draw over her lips.
"Guess so," she replied and he had to smirk.
They took the tunnels as far as they would take them and then went above ground, stalking in the deeper shadows and running through the patches of sun. Buffy couldn't help but giggle at the smoke rising around him and he scowled at her, making the giggles all the more apparent as she teased him with no remorse.
Once they reached Giles' apartment they were holding hands and had been able to walk in the shadow of the building long enough to start up a conversation.
"How did you do on the exam?" Spike inquired as they rounded the corner leading them to Giles' front door.
"I don't think I aced it," she sighed. "But I did well enough, I hope," she added and he turned his head to her as he said:
"I never really got why you should go learn a buncha stuff, when half of it you don't remember while you're still bloody IN school and the other half you won't use once you're outta there."
She smiled at that, shaking her head as they stopped and faced each other in front of said front door.
"I think you KNOW that's not how it is," she replied and he cocked an eyebrow. "Besides, I wouldn't think you'd understand what it's like. 'Go where I want, take what I need' ring any bells?" she asked meaningfully and he smirked. "With a motto like that you don't need an education, do you? And. that head of yours is kinda bright, though I kinda don't wanna admit it - now I'll have to see it all bloat-y and icky 'cause I'm sure those words 'll rise right up and into it."
Spike laughed quietly at that, taking a step forward and sliding his hands over her hips, letting them travel further to the small of her back as he got himself close to her. She sighed.
"I wonder if this'll ever stop affecting me the way it does," she grumbled as his face drew closer, his eyes suddenly bearing a dangerous glint when he asked:
"And how is that?"
She didn't reply, merely glided her hands up his arms and to his neck before she kissed him deeply.
A small voice somewhere inside of her was stating matter-of-factly that they couldn't stand there, making out in broad day light. But she ignored it with ease. Because why couldn't they? Anything to prolong the few moments before she had to pronounce what she knew would shock most of those close to her was something to be savoured.
Though she did want her pursuit of something more with Spike to be official, because he was right; she couldn't take on Adam with lies and deceit hanging in the air between her and the ones she would have to depend on. And she couldn't start something new with Spike if it was to be based on secrets and going into hiding. It would be ridiculous to even attempt such a thing.
Her emotions were building towards him, and she was not about to simply tear them down.
So be it, she thought. Now I just have to figure out a way of actually telling all this to...
The sound of the door opening to her left made her slowly open her eyes, lips still to Spike's, and his gaze met hers as he had obviously just done what she had. They ended the kiss almost cautiously and then pulled apart a few inches, arms still around each other, before they slowly turned their heads to the origin of the sound.
Giles stared at them, his mouth slightly agape and his brow just a tad furrowed. Buffy didn't think she had ever seen that look on his face. He looked so disbelieving that she felt like she needed to clap her hands hard and bring him out of it.
Then she directed her gaze to the spot right above his right shoulder, where - in the background - she could catch Xander's face. She had seen that look before, though. It was practically a perfect replica of how he had looked when...
"Willow!" he suddenly exclaimed. "What did you do THIS time?!"
***
4.59 p.m.
Willow came, slightly confused, in from the kitchen and when she saw the now parting Slayer and Vamp outside the open door everything quickly fell into place. She looked back at Xander before replying:
"I didn't do anything."
"Wills, it's all right. Whatever it was - we'll fix. But we need to get on it 'cause," he made a gesture to the two blondes carefully making their way passed Giles and into the room, their hands once more locked in a firm grip, "look at that."
Willow smiled a small smile as she did what her best friend instructed and had her first view of the couple. They produced an air of strength around them which the Wicca didn't think she had ever experienced before, and when both of them returned her smile she had to admit it - they were beautiful together.
"Hi," the redhead greeted Buffy, who gave a nod and then replied the same. "Want some tea? Tara's making some."
Buffy shook her head before she threw Spike a questioning look and he shook his head as well.
Xander was having a quizzical frown grow onto his features as he stared at the young woman who he took pride in knowing fully, and the vampire whom he had had more than a few disagreements with, acting much too comfortable around each other. He had NEVER seen them stand so close without pummelling each other with either fists or well-aimed quips.
"Willow," he murmured as she turned to walk back into the kitchen.
"This isn't my mess," she merely stated, proceeding on her way out of the room and leaving the five still in it to deal with the situation at hand.
The quiet was sinking through the atmosphere as though it was dew that stuck to everything. It left an eerie sense of growing questions and rueful answers and in between them was the thickening confusion.
Buffy felt Spike's fingers nervously stroke the ones of hers belonging to the hand which he was holding and she looked at him with a calming expression.
Spike barely knew where to look. He had never felt this insecure in the company of her people before. He supposed right now the most intimidating of them all was Giles. The vamp could almost feel the Watcher's gaze burning a hole in his shoulder, as the former stood slightly turned away from the latter. The blonde felt like walking around, but didn't want to disturb the stillness any more than he wanted to leave the safety of being at Buffy's side.
Anya was the only one actually moving as she turned her head to look from one to the next.
"So, Buffy's with Spike," she finally cut through the silence. "What's the big deal? He's a nice looking vampire and she's dealt with those before. Are we all supposed to be shocked here or something? It's not like it hasn't been coming."
"Coming?!" Xander demanded, baffled. "Since when?"
"Well, it's not that long ago that they were sucking face like two about to get married," she remarked with a roll of her eyes and Xander, who seemed to have moved out of the first stage of hypnosis, stared at his girlfriend.
"That was because of a SPELL," he then reminded. "They would never have done that if Willow hadn't..."
"Oh, please," Anya shook her head. "All that tension rising for years and years? Suppressed urges always come out as anger, that's basic vengeance knowledge. Though I've taken advantage of it more times than one. I remember a girl in Vienna who claimed her best friend - a MAN, of course - had done her the most horrid wrong and she wanted me to throw a curse on him... which I did. Turns out she simply hadn't realized how much she loved him and so she had made up an excuse to... punish him for not showing her that he returned her affections."
"Anya!" Xander exclaimed. "We're not talking love here."
"Well, sexual frustration comes out as anger too," she said matter-of- factly, looking at the couple who listened to the exchange with no chance to get a word in before she continued: "Attraction can be SO misleading, you know? And when you think that you're not supposed to feel it, you try to suppress it... I would've put my money on you two killing each other, but I suppose you can't be right all the time, can you? I never could've thought that Buffy would actually give in. Well, it just comes to show how true it is what they say - it's always the quiet ones."
Buffy raised her eyebrows at that, but Anya merely turned back around on the couch where she was seated and grabbed a magazine she had yet to flip through.
Xander was looking as though in need of hyper ventilating as he once again locked gazes with Buffy.
"When? And how? And when?" he stuttered and she released Spike's hand to approach her friend.
"Does it really matter?" she asked gently, stopping before him and Xander swallowed, the frown deepening.
"I thought you were in a relationship already," Giles spoke up and she turned to him.
"I was," she replied. "But I realized it wasn't the right one."
"And this.?" Giles asked, flailing one hand a little in a gesture to her and then to Spike. "This is your definition of right?"
She blinked, the hurt look which drew over her face made the Watcher feel a need to bite his tongue, but he recuperated quickly and continued:
"I always trusted you to have a keen insight when it came to certain aspects of your life. Your heart seemed to blend well with your mind - and your use of both as the Slayer has helped you stay alive. But now I have to say I am in doubt, Buffy, as to how far you think you can go."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, taking a step forward and facing him with a glow of incensed self-assurance. "I'm not with him to push the limits of the Slayer 'code', or whatever the hell you wanna call it," she stated, Xander letting out a small huff of air at the words 'with- him'. It didn't discourage her as she continued: "I'm with him 'cause he stood by me when he didn't have to, he earned my trust as well as my respect. I'm with him 'cause he's one of the best men I've ever known and because I'm..." She paused, hesitated but one second longer and then filled in: "Because I'm falling in love with him."
She could hear the low thud when Xander's back connected to the wall behind it as he leaned heavily against it. But she didn't take her eyes out of Giles' for even one moment, and the gaze in those eyes showed her how completely unexpected this whole thing was. He looked searching for a clue to how serious she was, and when he seemed to find it the expression changed into questioning; further into wondering; and into something which was hard to define. A part of him seemed angered while another seemed all together in defeat. Shock and surprise and pure disbelief were mixing with something close to understanding.
"I guess I should take you aside and tell you of all the things your chosen companion has done throughout his existence," Giles finally spoke and Buffy seemed to straighten her posture slightly at those words, right before Giles added: "But something tells me you already know it. In fact, I'm rather certain you know more than I do at this point. This is your choice, Buffy. I can do nothing but stand aside."
"What?!" Xander exclaimed. "You can't be serious! Buffy," he said, turning to her with a pleading look in his brown eyes, "please, don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. Look at him! There's nothing there even resembling a future!"
Before Buffy could stop him Spike had moved the few steps forward and grabbed Xander by the shirt, pushing him harshly up against the wall he had previously been leaning against the vampire hissed:
"I'd love it if you'd bloody say that again."
"Is THIS what you wanna be with?" Xander asked Buffy, who stared at them both in growing annoyance. "Is this what you wanna be sleeping next to for the rest of your life?!"
At that Spike let go of his grip with his right hand and clenched it into a fist, drawing it back he was about to throw the punch when warm fingers stopped his movement.
"Enough," Buffy said, giving him a look.
It was all he needed and he directed his gaze in Xander's for a few seconds, giving him a cold glare before releasing him.
"At least you've tamed the beast," Xander murmured and Buffy barely had time to flinch before Spike's fist this time connected with Xander's jaw.
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Thanks a lot you guys for the reviews!!! Hope all is well. I'm enjoying a free weekend (the only one I have this month). Ugha. ;) the sun is shining, birds are chirping and it's summer, it doesn't get any better than this. Except if I was to win a million dollars. ;)
Special and happy thanks to maribel, spikesgilmore, Leanne, donotsrock (thanks for dropping a line!), Carol and gattaca - I hope you are all more than excellent and that you enjoyed this chapter a well!!!
Gosh, I'm hot, and it's time for lunch! ;) See you next time?
A.M.L, Annie.
Forty-Five: It's Always the Quiet Ones
By Annie
2003-07-10
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Day Thirty-Seven.
11.00 a.m.
Buffy huffed as she slung her back pack over one shoulder. Looking around at the quickly scurrying population of her class she caught the gaze of Willow, who was seemingly waiting for her by the doors of the large classroom. The Slayer got herself moving in that direction and the two friends joined in a uni-walk down the hallway.
Willow looked interested and Buffy knew that she was expecting a detailed page-by-page recap of the exam, down to juiciest need for sharpening of writing tools. However, the Slayer had begun to bite the inside of her lip, trying to decide whether she should spill her promise to Spike and beg for the redhead's advice on a good approach with Giles and Xander - or whether she should keep her mouth shut and take the crucial moment as it presented itself; therefore there wasn't much room for retelling the easier, versus the un-answerable, questions.
That crucial moment, though...
Well, there would be teeth grinding together. And sour expressions. A few curses. Of course one or two stunned expressions right before the yelling and spitting and demanding of an explanation began... But apart from expecting all that Buffy had no idea what she should say.
Should she go "Hey, everybody" and then drag Spike into clear sight with his arms around her? Or should she walk in first, calm the stampede and then let the vampire in? Or maybe the safest way to do it would be to have one-on-one conversations and ease the fact of Spike into the two men's minds? Or...
"Buffy?" Willow asked, making the namesake turn her head to the former with a questioning frown before it quickly wore off and the blonde smiled dismissively.
"Sorry," she murmured and Willow smiled back, shaking her head.
"No need. My head's usually too full after a test to do much talking, too," she then stated and Buffy laughed half-heartedly before she cleared her throat.
"Yeah," she mumbled.
"It feels like I haven't seen you in days," Willow said, hooking her arm with Buffy's as they exited the building they had inhabited and crossed the lawn leading to their dormitory. "How was L.A.?" she added and Buffy searched for the right answer, then gave it in form of a:
"Intense."
Willow nodded empathetically.
"Did it.disconfuse anything? Regarding... Bleachy?" she inquired and Buffy giggled at that choice of nickname before she pushed open the heavy door to the building in which their shared home was situated and they both stepped inside.
"Yes," she then replied; stopping and facing Willow as their arms fell to their sides instead. "Yeah, it really disconfused things. All of the things... I think."
"Tell me more," Willow encouraged and Buffy smiled rather embarrassed.
Spike was like no other man. He was hard to describe and even more difficult was it to try and put into words what it was about him that buried itself within and refused to let her go. How could she rightfully pinpoint what it was that had her falling for him, and hard at that? It might have scared her, if not for the knowledge of him inevitably being there to catch her before she hit the ground; before she got hurt. In what way could she clarify why she needed him, and wanted him, and craved him, and longed for him? Because of course he had the bod of a god going for him, and he had the touch of an angel combined with the kiss of something fiercely resembling a devil as it took over and, if she didn't watch herself, could easily become an obsession. But that deeper notion of something else... how could she make that understandable?
She couldn't tell of the way he made her laugh, how he made her feel special and cared for and loved - safe; more so than ever before in her life. She couldn't tell of it because it couldn't do the emotions justice.
So, she thought decisively. I'll have no choice but to show them, all of them.
"...but Tara didn't think that was a really good idea and so I just pushed another button and when I lifted my finger all the mumbo turned into jumbo for a second or two, and then it was almost like it 'dinged' itself ready and all the information just flooded the screen. I thought 'yay, Willow: one, computer: zero' - 'til I figured the computer actually did all the work since it didn't happen while I was tapping into anything, but when I was pausing... Or I guess it was the disk. Then again, Spike did say that it was bogus and that I probably shouldn't spend hours in front of it. Which I completely discarded 'cause I thought he could be really wrong, Adam's not so stupid that he doesn't make it hard for us. Plus - it was way too fun to not fool around with it for a while...or a day... Anyways, it's done," the Wicca finished while Buffy stared at her, rather uncomprehending and still not very eager to have her friend repeat the flow of words she had just let stream from her mouth.
"Oh..." she therefore said. "Great, Will. That's...terrific."
Willow smirked, throwing her bag on her bed before she said:
"Don't worry, face-like-a-question-mark lady. We're meeting up at Giles' around five and then I'll give you a not so thorough low down."
Buffy smiled as well, letting her backpack fall to the floor before she sunk down on her bed.
"Do you think Spike is all evil?" she then asked before she managed to completely realize what she was saying.
She raised her gaze to Willow's, who observed her in silence for a short while before she answered:
"No. I don't think I do. I mean... I've seen what you've meant, with the whole kinda fluffy Spike, you know? Kinda like 'Hey, here's the disk's, bloody well crack 'em fast, Red - or whatever...'" Her previous smirk widened at Buffy keeping her giggles back at the formers impression of the vampire, then the redhead slowly added: "'I know you can do it'. He said that, right before he was about to leave. Just like that. 'I know you can do it'. I was really... surprised. And - as mentioned - fluffy Spike."
Buffy smiled widely now, her eyes glittering with a cheerfulness Willow hadn't seen in those green orbs in far too long and she returned the smile with a mixture of relief and growing worry. Buffy was in love, Willow was as sure of it as of the A she was getting on the math pop-quiz she had been taking an hour earlier. Buffy had fallen for a vampire, but this time there was no soul, this time there was only the frailty of faith, this time the Slayer might get seriously injured. A cut so deep it might bleed her of her trust...
Then Willow shook her head and followed Buffy's example - the blonde now splayed out across the bed opposite the redhead's. Willow looked up at the ceiling with a sudden gush of determination.
She knew what she had to do.
***
4.36 p.m.
Spike turned to Buffy when she entered the crypt. He returned the smile she directed at him and then she came to stand before him. She seemed almost as nervous as he felt, though she kept a cool exterior. Her heart was beating irregularly and the look in her eyes told him more about what was going on inside her than her posture ever could.
"Your day was...?" he began, but she filled it in before he finished with a quick:
"Good. Day was good... Yours?"
"Oh, just... usual. Lotta... sleeping going on."
She smirked.
"Liar," she then replied and he put on an innocent expression, which still didn't quite fit onto his features, before he gave a small shrug.
"Okay, so I've pretty much been waiting for you since you bloody left," he muttered and then he smiled a crooked smile as he glanced up at her and the smile she bore widened.
"You been standing up the whole time too?" she inquired teasingly and he reached out one hand and grabbed her waist, pulling her to him as she giggled, putting her arms up and around his neck.
Looking up at him with a tender expression in her eyes she then closed them and met his kiss. They deepened it and he pulled her hard to him. She was the one to break it, softly, and the trace of a pout glided over his lower lip - making her attack his mouth again. He seemed more than content with that. Finally she pulled away slightly, shaking her head and drawing a breath.
"There's a Scooby meeting at five," she stated, amazed at how casual her voice actually sounded. "I don't wanna be late."
He seemed to be put on pause as he more or less stared at her, and then he nodded.
"So - this is really it, huh?" he asked and she looked at him before she let another smile draw over her lips.
"Guess so," she replied and he had to smirk.
They took the tunnels as far as they would take them and then went above ground, stalking in the deeper shadows and running through the patches of sun. Buffy couldn't help but giggle at the smoke rising around him and he scowled at her, making the giggles all the more apparent as she teased him with no remorse.
Once they reached Giles' apartment they were holding hands and had been able to walk in the shadow of the building long enough to start up a conversation.
"How did you do on the exam?" Spike inquired as they rounded the corner leading them to Giles' front door.
"I don't think I aced it," she sighed. "But I did well enough, I hope," she added and he turned his head to her as he said:
"I never really got why you should go learn a buncha stuff, when half of it you don't remember while you're still bloody IN school and the other half you won't use once you're outta there."
She smiled at that, shaking her head as they stopped and faced each other in front of said front door.
"I think you KNOW that's not how it is," she replied and he cocked an eyebrow. "Besides, I wouldn't think you'd understand what it's like. 'Go where I want, take what I need' ring any bells?" she asked meaningfully and he smirked. "With a motto like that you don't need an education, do you? And. that head of yours is kinda bright, though I kinda don't wanna admit it - now I'll have to see it all bloat-y and icky 'cause I'm sure those words 'll rise right up and into it."
Spike laughed quietly at that, taking a step forward and sliding his hands over her hips, letting them travel further to the small of her back as he got himself close to her. She sighed.
"I wonder if this'll ever stop affecting me the way it does," she grumbled as his face drew closer, his eyes suddenly bearing a dangerous glint when he asked:
"And how is that?"
She didn't reply, merely glided her hands up his arms and to his neck before she kissed him deeply.
A small voice somewhere inside of her was stating matter-of-factly that they couldn't stand there, making out in broad day light. But she ignored it with ease. Because why couldn't they? Anything to prolong the few moments before she had to pronounce what she knew would shock most of those close to her was something to be savoured.
Though she did want her pursuit of something more with Spike to be official, because he was right; she couldn't take on Adam with lies and deceit hanging in the air between her and the ones she would have to depend on. And she couldn't start something new with Spike if it was to be based on secrets and going into hiding. It would be ridiculous to even attempt such a thing.
Her emotions were building towards him, and she was not about to simply tear them down.
So be it, she thought. Now I just have to figure out a way of actually telling all this to...
The sound of the door opening to her left made her slowly open her eyes, lips still to Spike's, and his gaze met hers as he had obviously just done what she had. They ended the kiss almost cautiously and then pulled apart a few inches, arms still around each other, before they slowly turned their heads to the origin of the sound.
Giles stared at them, his mouth slightly agape and his brow just a tad furrowed. Buffy didn't think she had ever seen that look on his face. He looked so disbelieving that she felt like she needed to clap her hands hard and bring him out of it.
Then she directed her gaze to the spot right above his right shoulder, where - in the background - she could catch Xander's face. She had seen that look before, though. It was practically a perfect replica of how he had looked when...
"Willow!" he suddenly exclaimed. "What did you do THIS time?!"
***
4.59 p.m.
Willow came, slightly confused, in from the kitchen and when she saw the now parting Slayer and Vamp outside the open door everything quickly fell into place. She looked back at Xander before replying:
"I didn't do anything."
"Wills, it's all right. Whatever it was - we'll fix. But we need to get on it 'cause," he made a gesture to the two blondes carefully making their way passed Giles and into the room, their hands once more locked in a firm grip, "look at that."
Willow smiled a small smile as she did what her best friend instructed and had her first view of the couple. They produced an air of strength around them which the Wicca didn't think she had ever experienced before, and when both of them returned her smile she had to admit it - they were beautiful together.
"Hi," the redhead greeted Buffy, who gave a nod and then replied the same. "Want some tea? Tara's making some."
Buffy shook her head before she threw Spike a questioning look and he shook his head as well.
Xander was having a quizzical frown grow onto his features as he stared at the young woman who he took pride in knowing fully, and the vampire whom he had had more than a few disagreements with, acting much too comfortable around each other. He had NEVER seen them stand so close without pummelling each other with either fists or well-aimed quips.
"Willow," he murmured as she turned to walk back into the kitchen.
"This isn't my mess," she merely stated, proceeding on her way out of the room and leaving the five still in it to deal with the situation at hand.
The quiet was sinking through the atmosphere as though it was dew that stuck to everything. It left an eerie sense of growing questions and rueful answers and in between them was the thickening confusion.
Buffy felt Spike's fingers nervously stroke the ones of hers belonging to the hand which he was holding and she looked at him with a calming expression.
Spike barely knew where to look. He had never felt this insecure in the company of her people before. He supposed right now the most intimidating of them all was Giles. The vamp could almost feel the Watcher's gaze burning a hole in his shoulder, as the former stood slightly turned away from the latter. The blonde felt like walking around, but didn't want to disturb the stillness any more than he wanted to leave the safety of being at Buffy's side.
Anya was the only one actually moving as she turned her head to look from one to the next.
"So, Buffy's with Spike," she finally cut through the silence. "What's the big deal? He's a nice looking vampire and she's dealt with those before. Are we all supposed to be shocked here or something? It's not like it hasn't been coming."
"Coming?!" Xander demanded, baffled. "Since when?"
"Well, it's not that long ago that they were sucking face like two about to get married," she remarked with a roll of her eyes and Xander, who seemed to have moved out of the first stage of hypnosis, stared at his girlfriend.
"That was because of a SPELL," he then reminded. "They would never have done that if Willow hadn't..."
"Oh, please," Anya shook her head. "All that tension rising for years and years? Suppressed urges always come out as anger, that's basic vengeance knowledge. Though I've taken advantage of it more times than one. I remember a girl in Vienna who claimed her best friend - a MAN, of course - had done her the most horrid wrong and she wanted me to throw a curse on him... which I did. Turns out she simply hadn't realized how much she loved him and so she had made up an excuse to... punish him for not showing her that he returned her affections."
"Anya!" Xander exclaimed. "We're not talking love here."
"Well, sexual frustration comes out as anger too," she said matter-of- factly, looking at the couple who listened to the exchange with no chance to get a word in before she continued: "Attraction can be SO misleading, you know? And when you think that you're not supposed to feel it, you try to suppress it... I would've put my money on you two killing each other, but I suppose you can't be right all the time, can you? I never could've thought that Buffy would actually give in. Well, it just comes to show how true it is what they say - it's always the quiet ones."
Buffy raised her eyebrows at that, but Anya merely turned back around on the couch where she was seated and grabbed a magazine she had yet to flip through.
Xander was looking as though in need of hyper ventilating as he once again locked gazes with Buffy.
"When? And how? And when?" he stuttered and she released Spike's hand to approach her friend.
"Does it really matter?" she asked gently, stopping before him and Xander swallowed, the frown deepening.
"I thought you were in a relationship already," Giles spoke up and she turned to him.
"I was," she replied. "But I realized it wasn't the right one."
"And this.?" Giles asked, flailing one hand a little in a gesture to her and then to Spike. "This is your definition of right?"
She blinked, the hurt look which drew over her face made the Watcher feel a need to bite his tongue, but he recuperated quickly and continued:
"I always trusted you to have a keen insight when it came to certain aspects of your life. Your heart seemed to blend well with your mind - and your use of both as the Slayer has helped you stay alive. But now I have to say I am in doubt, Buffy, as to how far you think you can go."
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, taking a step forward and facing him with a glow of incensed self-assurance. "I'm not with him to push the limits of the Slayer 'code', or whatever the hell you wanna call it," she stated, Xander letting out a small huff of air at the words 'with- him'. It didn't discourage her as she continued: "I'm with him 'cause he stood by me when he didn't have to, he earned my trust as well as my respect. I'm with him 'cause he's one of the best men I've ever known and because I'm..." She paused, hesitated but one second longer and then filled in: "Because I'm falling in love with him."
She could hear the low thud when Xander's back connected to the wall behind it as he leaned heavily against it. But she didn't take her eyes out of Giles' for even one moment, and the gaze in those eyes showed her how completely unexpected this whole thing was. He looked searching for a clue to how serious she was, and when he seemed to find it the expression changed into questioning; further into wondering; and into something which was hard to define. A part of him seemed angered while another seemed all together in defeat. Shock and surprise and pure disbelief were mixing with something close to understanding.
"I guess I should take you aside and tell you of all the things your chosen companion has done throughout his existence," Giles finally spoke and Buffy seemed to straighten her posture slightly at those words, right before Giles added: "But something tells me you already know it. In fact, I'm rather certain you know more than I do at this point. This is your choice, Buffy. I can do nothing but stand aside."
"What?!" Xander exclaimed. "You can't be serious! Buffy," he said, turning to her with a pleading look in his brown eyes, "please, don't do this. Don't do this to yourself. Look at him! There's nothing there even resembling a future!"
Before Buffy could stop him Spike had moved the few steps forward and grabbed Xander by the shirt, pushing him harshly up against the wall he had previously been leaning against the vampire hissed:
"I'd love it if you'd bloody say that again."
"Is THIS what you wanna be with?" Xander asked Buffy, who stared at them both in growing annoyance. "Is this what you wanna be sleeping next to for the rest of your life?!"
At that Spike let go of his grip with his right hand and clenched it into a fist, drawing it back he was about to throw the punch when warm fingers stopped his movement.
"Enough," Buffy said, giving him a look.
It was all he needed and he directed his gaze in Xander's for a few seconds, giving him a cold glare before releasing him.
"At least you've tamed the beast," Xander murmured and Buffy barely had time to flinch before Spike's fist this time connected with Xander's jaw.
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Thanks a lot you guys for the reviews!!! Hope all is well. I'm enjoying a free weekend (the only one I have this month). Ugha. ;) the sun is shining, birds are chirping and it's summer, it doesn't get any better than this. Except if I was to win a million dollars. ;)
Special and happy thanks to maribel, spikesgilmore, Leanne, donotsrock (thanks for dropping a line!), Carol and gattaca - I hope you are all more than excellent and that you enjoyed this chapter a well!!!
Gosh, I'm hot, and it's time for lunch! ;) See you next time?
A.M.L, Annie.