*********************************TRAppED***********************************
Fifty-One: Just About There
By Annie
2003-08-15
**************************************************************************** *
Day Forty.
12.14 p.m.
"Willow!" Buffy called and the redhead turned to the sound as the blonde came rushing up to her. "I can't believe it!" the former added with a happy skip right before she reached Willow and unceremoniously thrust a paper beneath her nose. "Look!" she exclaimed and Willow blinked, making the other remove what she was showing at least an inch. "Look!" Buffy repeated.
"I'm TRYING to!" Willow replied and Buffy looked apologetic before she pulled her hand back and then straightened the wrinkled paper out.
"See?" she asked proudly. "I ACED it, Will!"
A smile split Willow's face as she realized what it was Buffy was holding out and then she hugged the Slayer hard.
"Congrats seem to be in place!" the Wicca stated and Buffy nodded firmly as they pulled apart.
"With whipped cream and baby marshmallows on the side," she agreed and Willow frowned slightly before she merely let that comment slide and hooked arms with the other as they began to walk again. "I feel so good now! I wanna go to... Hawaii. Can I go to Hawaii?" Buffy asked with a pleading look at her friend who merely smiled again, this time with a rather meaningful look and Buffy sighed, pouting. "I know," she grumbled. "Well, can I go to New York, then? I feel like kicking up my heels and I've heard they've got a lotta heels to kick up over there."
"You're not spending one cent on shoes on my watch, missy," Willow replied reproachfully and Buffy smirked. "'Sides, if you even wanna get to the Big Apple I have a feeling you're gonna need to save all the cents you can get your hands on, don't you?"
"Hey," Buffy grumbled, frowning, "de-pep much?"
"Sorry," Willow said, squeezing the other's arm before adding with mock- cheer: "Of course you can go! There's always a way... You just have think of h-... I know! Spike can treat you!"
Buffy turned her head to her friend with a rather amused frown and Willow seemed to ignore it as she continued:
"No, really! He's bound to have cash lying around, isn't he?"
"Why would he?" Buffy asked, halting and pulling her arm out of Willow's hold as her face grew quizzical. "It's not like he's out robbing people every night. It's not like he thinks 'Oh, on the way home I might as well make myself a few bucks. Let's pick that defenseless young girl over there'!"
"I didn't mean..." Willow tried to apologize with an expression in her gaze to match the regretful look on her face, but Buffy shook her head.
"No, that's how you see him, isn't it? That's what he'll always stand for with you guys. Well, I can tell you that he's NOT like that. He doesn't just show up with money or-or stuff! In fact, he's never given me anything, nothing at all, no gifts, no flowers. You know, I think if he ever WANTED to give me flowers he'd pick them himself. He's that kinda guy."
Willow nodded as Buffy turned the knob of their dorm room and then stepped inside; coming to a rather sharp stop in the doorway and Willow paused before she gently pushed her way passed the other.
"What are those?" the redhead asked and Buffy shook her head, making Willow have to fight back the smile at the extremely flustered look on the Slayer's face as she stared at what decorated her bedside table. "Is there a card?" Willow now wondered and she couldn't keep the teasing tone out of her voice as she entered the room and walked up to the cause for the statue- like position of Buffy. After a short search the former found what she was looking for. "Oh, look," she cooed and this got Buffy moving.
She was at the others side in the next instant and grabbed the card as Willow was about to flip it open.
Her heart was racing. He couldn't have sent her the flowers! WHY would Spike EVER send her flowers like this?
Her hands trembled slightly as she opened the card and stared at the single letter written there. A very distinct "S".
"They're absolutely beautiful," Willow stated as she leaned forward and buried her nose amongst the petals of the crimson roses. "Say what you want about the man, but he has got very good taste."
Buffy gritted her teeth.
It was all too easy, wasn't it? To believe in him. She supposed that was why the sudden thought of slight betrayal on his part hurt her so much. She couldn't help but think that Willow might be right, that it actually made sense that he was still earning his money the easy way... She recalled the abruptly finished topic of him not having a job a while back, and his quiet statement that he didn't work well with authorities. How would he live, how would he get his beloved smokes and life-preserving - or something like it - booze of he didn't steal it one way or another? God, if he was human would she even look twice at him? He'd only mean trouble, wouldn't he? Didn't he?
Her heart was picking up its pace and she couldn't hear what Willow was saying as she clasped the note in a tight fist and swirled around.
"Buffy," Willow attempted to stop her, but it didn't work.
"I'll be back later," the Slayer merely replied as she pulled the door open and continued through it.
"I've heard that before," Willow sighed as she turned back to the roses and got a smile displaying itself on her mouth at the thought of Spike tiptoeing into the room with the former in a carefully picked out vase, making sure they were standing straight and evenly in it before tiptoeing out again.
***
12.46 p.m.
She tried hard not to let her fears run away with her as she walked swiftly to the crypt. She fought not to let her mind flood with worries and whispers of foreboding and condemning and a small part of her telling her insistently that it had known, all along, that this would happen. It was all too good to be true. A tiger doesn't lose its stripes, and Spike had never been anything less than that.
But I... she thought as she slowed down before the door of his home.
You what? a voice in the back of her head snorted. Don't even try to fool yourself that any of this was ever unexpected. He's lied to you. You CAN'T trust him.
Innocent until proven guilty, she grumbled as a reply and drew a short breath before she pushed the door to the small hall open before proceeding through the second one.
He turned around as he heard her enter, eyebrows raised questioningly. At the tight expression on her face he sighed.
"You don't like roses?" he wondered, walking out of the kitchen to meet her halfway adding: "Or you wanted another color? I just thought that red would..."
"Stop," she shook her head.
"What's the matter, love?"
She swallowed, the feel of the note still clenched in one hand pushed her on and she replied:
"Tell me that you don't..."
But the words wouldn't find the right course out of her mouth and she paused. What was she about to ask him? What did she want to hear?
"Do you steal, Spike?"
He tilted his head slightly to one side as he eyed her, then he smirked and she suddenly felt herself blushing under his gaze. For the very first time she felt young in his presence, she felt small and little and ignorant.
"It happens," he answered her question, and she battled back the conflicting emotions within as she squared her shoulders and held his gaze firmly.
"How do you get money? How did you pay for the flowers?"
"Buffy..."
"Spike," she cut him off sharply, making his smile fade as one eyebrow was arched. "I'm serious. I want to know. I need to."
He stared at her now. Then blinked and shrugged before he nodded and walked over to the kitchen counter.
"I've had my own line of business set up for a while... I've been in the... trading market, I 'spose you might call it," he said, pulling out a drawer and getting a velvet bag out of it. Once that was done he turned and came back up to her again. "Merchandise for money," he finished as he handed her the bag and she frowned.
"This is..."
"Yup," he nodded, watching her face as he added: "Three-thousand dollars, to be exact."
"Three-th-...?!" she breathed, then shook her head as she reached the bag out to him.
"What are you protesting against?" he asked, not taking it from her. "It's not blood-money, pet. I've earned it. Doing demons dirty-work, sure - but there's been no stealing involved. Okay, granted I may have ripped off a few of them, but..."
"The Black Market is dangerous!" she exclaimed, throwing the bag away from her and beginning to pace before him. "One day you'll come across something you can't control! It's STUPID, is what it is!"
"I know," he agreed and she halted as she turned her head to him with a disbelieving frown. "Really - I do," he assured, approaching her cautiously and when she didn't seem to be moving he stopped right before her. "That's why I've ended it. I swear to you, Buffy. No more of it."
She looked into his eyes and then shut her own. Feeling his arms close around her she leaned her forehead against his chest before wrapping her own arms around him as well.
"I'm sorry," she grumbled.
"It's okay," he mumbled gently. "I know this whole thing... us... is still so new. We're BOTH adjusting, you know? It can't work... Hey," he made her look up at him and rested his eyes in hers before he finished: "it won't work if we're not honest with each other. We both need to trust the other, love, or this ends before it's even begun."
She observed him in silence for the longest time, standing in his embrace she saw the world fall away and she realized that she needed him in more ways than she could ever have imagined. Deep, deep down she knew that he would always be there for her, no matter what happened he'd be faithful to her and she knew that he loved her for who she was - for everything there was to her.
She had a sneaking suspicion that the whisper of distrust would forever be imbedded in the darker corners of her thoughts, but who was ever completely without suspicion? Who was ever completely without some kind of guard? And if there was any such someone, how could they possibly survive even the tiniest of hit? No, she didn't wish that whisper gone - it had to stay where it was. She DID trust him - to not cause her pain intentionally, but nobody's perfect and there was the always the not dismissible possibility of un-intentionally.
Spike looked at her and was brought back to the arguments they had had in that basement about three-hundred-and-fifty-six years ago; was brought back to the hatred and disgust and annoyance he had felt whenever he looked at her, heard her speak, noticed her MOVE. And he also remembered how powerfully all this had triggered his understanding of how badly he wanted to have her, to own her and make her his. And here she was, and all he could feel was gratefulness toward whatever higher power that had decided to twist their fates to fit so perfectly with each other.
Thankfulness toward whatever power that had brought Drusilla into that alley; that had persuaded her to see something other than less in him, that had had her choose him. She had blessed him right then, because her bite and her gift had been what had brought him to this moment, to Buffy.
"Is there anything you wanna change?" he asked quietly and she seemed to hesitate before she smiled a little.
"No," she answered him, standing on her toes and kissing him on the mouth. "Not one thing."
"You always were the most awful liar," he remarked and she giggled.
"I thought I was headed for an encore of Most Heated Buffy-Spike Arguments - take twenty-two," she said and he smirked. "Wow, how wrong was I?" she added, leaning closer into him and his smirk grew into a grin.
"Isn't this the last week of school?" he then asked and she nodded. "I thought you wanted to 'show some dedication', 'put some effort into it', 'give it your absolute b-...'"
"All right, all right," she interrupted with a smile. "But this is our first official non-fight and so I think I'll just cut class; go buy some ice-cream; come back; get into bed - with you, by the way - and show you just how torture-bearable I can be."
After this statement she kissed him deeply before she ended it softly and stepped out of his arms, as she was heading for the door he chuckled and shook his head, turning it to look at her as she paused and turned back to him.
"Just remembered when I said you couldn't stand torture..." he said and she smiled as well.
"No," she then disagreed. "You said I couldn't stand TO torture," she added with a mischievous expression in her eyes that simply made him warm all over, having him even more eager to see exactly what it was she would do with that ice-cream.
***
4.55 p.m.
"I've been wondering," Buffy said, placing a gentle kiss on his chest before resting her chin against it, glancing up at him.
"About?" he asked.
"About Dru..."
"Another one of these conversations? Really?" he inquired, making her smile before she shook her head.
"No, I just wanted to know..."
"What! Come on!"
"Okay! If you really have no idea why she left you?" she replied, rather tentatively and he let one hand slide through her hair as he thought of what he should tell her.
Finally he decided and said:
"She never... explained." Buffy nodded her understanding of that, but he wasn't quite ready to let the subject lie and so he added: "After Angel... Or Angelus... Well, we left this place, we left for Australia straight away... She could hardly look at me at first. She didn't talk to me for the entire trip... Unless she wanted to call me a traitor or scum or something loving like that. She was quite good at coming up with imaginary nicks, actually. Anyways, we got there and we went to Sydney first, but she complained about it being too bright. And then we went along the coast to this godforsaken place. Reminded me of Sunnydale, only it was about the twentieth of its size and it was in serious lack of... you." She smirked and he smiled at the sight before continuing: "And it seemed Dru saw what I was thinking 'cause one night she just... told me. What had been on her mind... She said that all she could see now, looking at me, was you. And it hurt so damn much hearing her say that. 'Cause all I had ever done I knew I'd done for her. I'd left Sunnydale, I'd gotten her out of there to be with me. And now... she stood there...
"I couldn't even grasp a bloody fragment of what she was insinuating. All I could see was that she was fooling around on me and I had to get the hell away from her. So I ran. All the sodding way back here. To the place I'd started out failing myself in the first place. Failing her. I returned to heal myself, to get the bruises outta my system... And I came up with the brilliant plan you're all too familiar with." She rolled her eyes and it was his time to smirk widely. "All that time I couldn't see that what I was running from and running straight back to was you, Buffy. I had a valid excuse - lingering love for Dru. But in the end all of it came down to nothing and no one - but you."
"Stop it," she mumbled before she smiled brightly. "You're gonna make me cry."
He smiled a small smile back before he mumbled:
"Wouldn't that be something...? Happy tears..."
She pulled up and kissed him, making him stop whether he wanted to or not, and he returned the kiss as gently as she gave it. They pulled apart slowly and relished in stillness for a short while until he asked:
"Willow KNEW about me before the other's did, didn't she?"
Buffy raised her eyebrows, putting on such an extremely innocent expression that he had to laugh.
"What tipped you off? The..."
"...casual way she acted when you and me showed up at the Watcher's holding hands... Yeah, something like that," he filled in and she laughed as well.
"Well, you know what a math-freak she is! She just put two-and-two together," she then replied.
"Easy as that?" he wondered.
"Easy as one-two-three," she stated and at that he tilted her over, nestling his face against her throat as he tickled her sides and she squirmed with a cry of frustration as he pinned her down.
"I was asking you a SERIOUS question," he said as he moved his head to look down at her and she kept a straight face as she nodded.
"If you let it slide," she said, moving her hips against his and his face softened as she added: "I'll make it worth your while."
"Say 'please'," he mumbled as his face drifted closer to hers.
She smiled and then heaved him off her in one quick movement, scrambling off the bed and turning around as she stated:
"Sorry, I'm not the begging kind!"
Running up to the armchair she once again swirled around just as he reached the other side of it and she smiled sweetly as she watched for his next move. He returned the smile easily enough and she squinted at him, estimating. He made as to go to her right and she moved to the left. He followed her movement immediately and she froze, then the smile grew onto her lips again.
"We gonna stand here all night?" she asked and he cocked an eyebrow as he let his gaze travel down the parts of her body not covered by the armchair.
"Not sure I'd mind," he answered.
"Didn't know you to enjoy the looking-and-not-touching approach, honey," she said meaningfully and he seemed to stiffen considerably as one of her hands traveled from her neckline, down over one breast and further to her bellybutton where it began to slowly circle.
"Come here," he murmured, reaching out to grab her, but she was too fast and put one forefinger up, wiggling it in a very reprimanding fashion.
"Say... 'please'," she demanded and the teasing glitter in her green eyes made him swallow.
"Buffy..."
"Yes?" she asked, clearly waiting and he bit his lower lip in aggravation as well as need to pay her back for this, every inch of her, then he said:
"Baby, please... Please, come back to bed."
This time her smile was truer as she sidestepped the piece of furniture and reached out a hand to him. He took it and they walked together up to the sarcophagus.
"You know this isn't a bed, right?" she asked and he smiled, nodding. "I'm just checking 'cause a second ago you asked me to 'come back to bed'."
"I remember," he assured, pulling her close. "I'll GET a bed."
"We're not wasting that money on a BED!" she stated and he raised his eyebrows in fake-shock.
"I thought you didn't want anything to do with MY cash!" he exclaimed and she giggled.
"Yes, but then you explained their heritage so very prettily and now I feel as though they're a little bit part of the family," she said and he shook his head at her.
"Fine. What do you suggest we do with it? And I am actually PRAYING it doesn't involve a mall here."
"No, I was thinking a plane and a beach and a private bungalow somewhere. Just you and me and a couple of mai thais," she said and he observed her for a short minute before replying:
"How does Honolulu sound?"
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Wow, you guys! You're just amazing, have I ever told you that?! Thank you all so much for wonderful, wonderful feedback! Oh, gosh, I just luuuuv y'all! ;)
This chapter isn't actually "late" per say 'cause I haven't had a chance to finish it until now and so I won't apologize to you yet again and act as though your humbling forgiveness is yet again in need, k? I will only thank thee for thine patience. Or something... :)
Warm and special thanks to wolf116 (hey, you. When I read your review I thought this: that episode was NOT just about having Riley back, girl! Okay, look at it from my p.o.v for just a second 'cause the way I see it there is a much deeper meaning to that surprise turn-up of the ever so boring mr Finn. We get an inside look at what exactly it is that keeps Buffy so easily going back to Spike over and over and over. A look at why her Slayer side isn't stronger in resisting him and bad and temptation! She thinks he's harmless, stupid even. She says there's no way of Spike being the Doctor 'cause he's not smart enough to pull it off. And Spike says "You know what I am, you've always known. And you come to me all the same." Remember? I'm sure you do. This episode is what forces Buffy to realize that Spike isn't toothless, that he isn't good, and since there is no way she could ever believe in him loving her she simply cannot "use" him anymore. It goes against everything that she is. We get to see her come to that final decision. It also, of course, ties up the Riley part of the Buffytrivia. I mean, seriously, he just up and disappeared. This way they could show us where he went, that he isn't obsessing over Buffy still, that he's moved on and that she has to let all of him go - if by any chance she hadn't. Right? SO - Spike being the Doctor was a rather good way of not only showing Buffy - but also us viewers - that there IS a dark side to him that hasn't been quenched simply because he's in love with the Slayer. That he's a being that can't be truly controlled, is he? We got to see that some of the first Spike we got introduced to is still very much there. I think it was a good way of making the Spike/Buffy relationship - or lack there of - come to a close as it was. Because of course it couldn't have gone on forever in that wear and tear manner that they were so fond of. Okay, phew. Sorry. Just needed to say that so you understand where I'm coming from with this. Also, I guess this chapter sorta put some light on my thoughts on the matter... ;) Oh, and the last part was just for show, not tell, k? Didn't mean to confuse, just wanted to show a meeting between Spike and a demon and have the whole Doctor's office closed comment sorta explain it. At least to those absolutely into the show - knowing the details. Which you obviously did. ;) Anyways, hope this clears things up a bit and that you think a bit less confusing and not so vile or annoying or so...A.M.L.) :),
Night (Oh, it's cool you didn't read it. It's not the first thing you think about, I guess. I AM so glad to read that and that it's still up there! B-E- A-utiful! ;) No, seriously, wonderful!!! Oh, and the last part... Well, read the last few lines of wolf116's reply and you'll get it... I hope. I didn't mean to cause confusion with that part. It was just... Spike and a demon and if you've seen As You Were in S6 then you'll know what I'm referring to.) :)
Captain (thanks, sweetie. That was really great to read! I'm happy you liked that part! And really happy you thought it was realistic to the show. THAT I never tire of hearing! ;) Thanks, my friend!)
Mel (hehe, Black Market, exactly. :) Aw, I do know what you mean with the Spuffyholic part... And it does look pretty bright for the two lovebirds, doesn't it? ::) Oh, then it was a GOOD making you go hm. That's just fine, then! ;) Mel, if you do come haunting me I shall be so very obliged to have you there as a permanent poltergeist!) :)
Leanne (thanks for that! Happy to read you liked the last part! Awwww, me two, girl! Makes me so sad TWO! ;) Oh, right! I have to remember to correct the mistake you pointed out. Thanks for that! And I do so hope you enjoyed this chapter!) :)
Rachel (Why, thank you. :) Yes... one more chappy left now. *tear* I AM thinking about a sequel, but I KNOW that I just can't do it right now! *sigh*! Thanks for sending me a thought, though!!!) ;)
Erica (God, you ALMOST made me cry with that comment! I just HAVE to see the last episode of S7, and no, I can't believe I haven't yet!!! Argh! I WILL cry when I do, I know it. The mere thought of it just breaks my heart! And... hey. Next chapter - your answer.) ;)
Taelyn (Oh, can I just tell you how amazing your reviews were to read?! Okay, so I can't even begin to describe how absolutely fabulous you made me feel with those incredible comments of yours - but I am going to try! I mean, just WOW and thanks so, so much! The best one was definitely that you think I've actually created my own personal style. *goosebumps* That was one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me, I swear! Thank you, from the bottom of my beating heart. *smiles at the if you stay up all night you won't blame me comment* ;) And thank you for the TWO reviews. I'm so happy I managed to get you enthusiastic enough to wanna let me know what you think and all I can say to that is YESSSS! ;) Just, thank you! And oh, I think there is a tie for best comment 'cause the fact that this made you feel better than some icky medication makes me soar dangerously high here! I can't tell you, I really can't, how great it feels to know that I make you feel something from reading what I've written. THANK YOU for taking the time to let me know! Thank you for all your wonderful comments and it is for people such as yourself that I write and end up wanting and needing to post! My hat is off.) :)
Keleven (Happy you like the length of this, girl. That's what I like to, to be honest. I hate rushing things. It only messes them up too much, don't you agree? Oh, I know you do and thank you! And, yeah, thanks for the agreement on the Spike-not-turning. *nods seriously*) :)
Carol (Oh, oh, it's the best to read that you enjoy the Buffy and Spike interaction. I don't want it to get sappy or boring! Thanks for easing my mind 'cause that is my greatest fear! ;) Hope you had a good time while you were away and welcome back!) :)
Biffy-Buffy (hey, girl.Thanks a whole bunch of lots for that comment and... the end will soon be revealed so sit tight, k? ;) Love all the support I get and yours is no exception! Thank you!) ;)
Okay, gals and girls! And the off-chance guy or boy or, dare I write it, man. ;P Nah, just wanted to say that this has been one hell of a great ride with you all and I'm deeply indebted to you! Thank you so much and I'm not gonna do this quite yet 'cause there will be one more chance so I'll swipe the tears away for one more chapter and then... let them fall freely. *bawl!*
One more chapter to go, for sure this time. I'll... see you there?
A.M.L, Annie.
Fifty-One: Just About There
By Annie
2003-08-15
**************************************************************************** *
Day Forty.
12.14 p.m.
"Willow!" Buffy called and the redhead turned to the sound as the blonde came rushing up to her. "I can't believe it!" the former added with a happy skip right before she reached Willow and unceremoniously thrust a paper beneath her nose. "Look!" she exclaimed and Willow blinked, making the other remove what she was showing at least an inch. "Look!" Buffy repeated.
"I'm TRYING to!" Willow replied and Buffy looked apologetic before she pulled her hand back and then straightened the wrinkled paper out.
"See?" she asked proudly. "I ACED it, Will!"
A smile split Willow's face as she realized what it was Buffy was holding out and then she hugged the Slayer hard.
"Congrats seem to be in place!" the Wicca stated and Buffy nodded firmly as they pulled apart.
"With whipped cream and baby marshmallows on the side," she agreed and Willow frowned slightly before she merely let that comment slide and hooked arms with the other as they began to walk again. "I feel so good now! I wanna go to... Hawaii. Can I go to Hawaii?" Buffy asked with a pleading look at her friend who merely smiled again, this time with a rather meaningful look and Buffy sighed, pouting. "I know," she grumbled. "Well, can I go to New York, then? I feel like kicking up my heels and I've heard they've got a lotta heels to kick up over there."
"You're not spending one cent on shoes on my watch, missy," Willow replied reproachfully and Buffy smirked. "'Sides, if you even wanna get to the Big Apple I have a feeling you're gonna need to save all the cents you can get your hands on, don't you?"
"Hey," Buffy grumbled, frowning, "de-pep much?"
"Sorry," Willow said, squeezing the other's arm before adding with mock- cheer: "Of course you can go! There's always a way... You just have think of h-... I know! Spike can treat you!"
Buffy turned her head to her friend with a rather amused frown and Willow seemed to ignore it as she continued:
"No, really! He's bound to have cash lying around, isn't he?"
"Why would he?" Buffy asked, halting and pulling her arm out of Willow's hold as her face grew quizzical. "It's not like he's out robbing people every night. It's not like he thinks 'Oh, on the way home I might as well make myself a few bucks. Let's pick that defenseless young girl over there'!"
"I didn't mean..." Willow tried to apologize with an expression in her gaze to match the regretful look on her face, but Buffy shook her head.
"No, that's how you see him, isn't it? That's what he'll always stand for with you guys. Well, I can tell you that he's NOT like that. He doesn't just show up with money or-or stuff! In fact, he's never given me anything, nothing at all, no gifts, no flowers. You know, I think if he ever WANTED to give me flowers he'd pick them himself. He's that kinda guy."
Willow nodded as Buffy turned the knob of their dorm room and then stepped inside; coming to a rather sharp stop in the doorway and Willow paused before she gently pushed her way passed the other.
"What are those?" the redhead asked and Buffy shook her head, making Willow have to fight back the smile at the extremely flustered look on the Slayer's face as she stared at what decorated her bedside table. "Is there a card?" Willow now wondered and she couldn't keep the teasing tone out of her voice as she entered the room and walked up to the cause for the statue- like position of Buffy. After a short search the former found what she was looking for. "Oh, look," she cooed and this got Buffy moving.
She was at the others side in the next instant and grabbed the card as Willow was about to flip it open.
Her heart was racing. He couldn't have sent her the flowers! WHY would Spike EVER send her flowers like this?
Her hands trembled slightly as she opened the card and stared at the single letter written there. A very distinct "S".
"They're absolutely beautiful," Willow stated as she leaned forward and buried her nose amongst the petals of the crimson roses. "Say what you want about the man, but he has got very good taste."
Buffy gritted her teeth.
It was all too easy, wasn't it? To believe in him. She supposed that was why the sudden thought of slight betrayal on his part hurt her so much. She couldn't help but think that Willow might be right, that it actually made sense that he was still earning his money the easy way... She recalled the abruptly finished topic of him not having a job a while back, and his quiet statement that he didn't work well with authorities. How would he live, how would he get his beloved smokes and life-preserving - or something like it - booze of he didn't steal it one way or another? God, if he was human would she even look twice at him? He'd only mean trouble, wouldn't he? Didn't he?
Her heart was picking up its pace and she couldn't hear what Willow was saying as she clasped the note in a tight fist and swirled around.
"Buffy," Willow attempted to stop her, but it didn't work.
"I'll be back later," the Slayer merely replied as she pulled the door open and continued through it.
"I've heard that before," Willow sighed as she turned back to the roses and got a smile displaying itself on her mouth at the thought of Spike tiptoeing into the room with the former in a carefully picked out vase, making sure they were standing straight and evenly in it before tiptoeing out again.
***
12.46 p.m.
She tried hard not to let her fears run away with her as she walked swiftly to the crypt. She fought not to let her mind flood with worries and whispers of foreboding and condemning and a small part of her telling her insistently that it had known, all along, that this would happen. It was all too good to be true. A tiger doesn't lose its stripes, and Spike had never been anything less than that.
But I... she thought as she slowed down before the door of his home.
You what? a voice in the back of her head snorted. Don't even try to fool yourself that any of this was ever unexpected. He's lied to you. You CAN'T trust him.
Innocent until proven guilty, she grumbled as a reply and drew a short breath before she pushed the door to the small hall open before proceeding through the second one.
He turned around as he heard her enter, eyebrows raised questioningly. At the tight expression on her face he sighed.
"You don't like roses?" he wondered, walking out of the kitchen to meet her halfway adding: "Or you wanted another color? I just thought that red would..."
"Stop," she shook her head.
"What's the matter, love?"
She swallowed, the feel of the note still clenched in one hand pushed her on and she replied:
"Tell me that you don't..."
But the words wouldn't find the right course out of her mouth and she paused. What was she about to ask him? What did she want to hear?
"Do you steal, Spike?"
He tilted his head slightly to one side as he eyed her, then he smirked and she suddenly felt herself blushing under his gaze. For the very first time she felt young in his presence, she felt small and little and ignorant.
"It happens," he answered her question, and she battled back the conflicting emotions within as she squared her shoulders and held his gaze firmly.
"How do you get money? How did you pay for the flowers?"
"Buffy..."
"Spike," she cut him off sharply, making his smile fade as one eyebrow was arched. "I'm serious. I want to know. I need to."
He stared at her now. Then blinked and shrugged before he nodded and walked over to the kitchen counter.
"I've had my own line of business set up for a while... I've been in the... trading market, I 'spose you might call it," he said, pulling out a drawer and getting a velvet bag out of it. Once that was done he turned and came back up to her again. "Merchandise for money," he finished as he handed her the bag and she frowned.
"This is..."
"Yup," he nodded, watching her face as he added: "Three-thousand dollars, to be exact."
"Three-th-...?!" she breathed, then shook her head as she reached the bag out to him.
"What are you protesting against?" he asked, not taking it from her. "It's not blood-money, pet. I've earned it. Doing demons dirty-work, sure - but there's been no stealing involved. Okay, granted I may have ripped off a few of them, but..."
"The Black Market is dangerous!" she exclaimed, throwing the bag away from her and beginning to pace before him. "One day you'll come across something you can't control! It's STUPID, is what it is!"
"I know," he agreed and she halted as she turned her head to him with a disbelieving frown. "Really - I do," he assured, approaching her cautiously and when she didn't seem to be moving he stopped right before her. "That's why I've ended it. I swear to you, Buffy. No more of it."
She looked into his eyes and then shut her own. Feeling his arms close around her she leaned her forehead against his chest before wrapping her own arms around him as well.
"I'm sorry," she grumbled.
"It's okay," he mumbled gently. "I know this whole thing... us... is still so new. We're BOTH adjusting, you know? It can't work... Hey," he made her look up at him and rested his eyes in hers before he finished: "it won't work if we're not honest with each other. We both need to trust the other, love, or this ends before it's even begun."
She observed him in silence for the longest time, standing in his embrace she saw the world fall away and she realized that she needed him in more ways than she could ever have imagined. Deep, deep down she knew that he would always be there for her, no matter what happened he'd be faithful to her and she knew that he loved her for who she was - for everything there was to her.
She had a sneaking suspicion that the whisper of distrust would forever be imbedded in the darker corners of her thoughts, but who was ever completely without suspicion? Who was ever completely without some kind of guard? And if there was any such someone, how could they possibly survive even the tiniest of hit? No, she didn't wish that whisper gone - it had to stay where it was. She DID trust him - to not cause her pain intentionally, but nobody's perfect and there was the always the not dismissible possibility of un-intentionally.
Spike looked at her and was brought back to the arguments they had had in that basement about three-hundred-and-fifty-six years ago; was brought back to the hatred and disgust and annoyance he had felt whenever he looked at her, heard her speak, noticed her MOVE. And he also remembered how powerfully all this had triggered his understanding of how badly he wanted to have her, to own her and make her his. And here she was, and all he could feel was gratefulness toward whatever higher power that had decided to twist their fates to fit so perfectly with each other.
Thankfulness toward whatever power that had brought Drusilla into that alley; that had persuaded her to see something other than less in him, that had had her choose him. She had blessed him right then, because her bite and her gift had been what had brought him to this moment, to Buffy.
"Is there anything you wanna change?" he asked quietly and she seemed to hesitate before she smiled a little.
"No," she answered him, standing on her toes and kissing him on the mouth. "Not one thing."
"You always were the most awful liar," he remarked and she giggled.
"I thought I was headed for an encore of Most Heated Buffy-Spike Arguments - take twenty-two," she said and he smirked. "Wow, how wrong was I?" she added, leaning closer into him and his smirk grew into a grin.
"Isn't this the last week of school?" he then asked and she nodded. "I thought you wanted to 'show some dedication', 'put some effort into it', 'give it your absolute b-...'"
"All right, all right," she interrupted with a smile. "But this is our first official non-fight and so I think I'll just cut class; go buy some ice-cream; come back; get into bed - with you, by the way - and show you just how torture-bearable I can be."
After this statement she kissed him deeply before she ended it softly and stepped out of his arms, as she was heading for the door he chuckled and shook his head, turning it to look at her as she paused and turned back to him.
"Just remembered when I said you couldn't stand torture..." he said and she smiled as well.
"No," she then disagreed. "You said I couldn't stand TO torture," she added with a mischievous expression in her eyes that simply made him warm all over, having him even more eager to see exactly what it was she would do with that ice-cream.
***
4.55 p.m.
"I've been wondering," Buffy said, placing a gentle kiss on his chest before resting her chin against it, glancing up at him.
"About?" he asked.
"About Dru..."
"Another one of these conversations? Really?" he inquired, making her smile before she shook her head.
"No, I just wanted to know..."
"What! Come on!"
"Okay! If you really have no idea why she left you?" she replied, rather tentatively and he let one hand slide through her hair as he thought of what he should tell her.
Finally he decided and said:
"She never... explained." Buffy nodded her understanding of that, but he wasn't quite ready to let the subject lie and so he added: "After Angel... Or Angelus... Well, we left this place, we left for Australia straight away... She could hardly look at me at first. She didn't talk to me for the entire trip... Unless she wanted to call me a traitor or scum or something loving like that. She was quite good at coming up with imaginary nicks, actually. Anyways, we got there and we went to Sydney first, but she complained about it being too bright. And then we went along the coast to this godforsaken place. Reminded me of Sunnydale, only it was about the twentieth of its size and it was in serious lack of... you." She smirked and he smiled at the sight before continuing: "And it seemed Dru saw what I was thinking 'cause one night she just... told me. What had been on her mind... She said that all she could see now, looking at me, was you. And it hurt so damn much hearing her say that. 'Cause all I had ever done I knew I'd done for her. I'd left Sunnydale, I'd gotten her out of there to be with me. And now... she stood there...
"I couldn't even grasp a bloody fragment of what she was insinuating. All I could see was that she was fooling around on me and I had to get the hell away from her. So I ran. All the sodding way back here. To the place I'd started out failing myself in the first place. Failing her. I returned to heal myself, to get the bruises outta my system... And I came up with the brilliant plan you're all too familiar with." She rolled her eyes and it was his time to smirk widely. "All that time I couldn't see that what I was running from and running straight back to was you, Buffy. I had a valid excuse - lingering love for Dru. But in the end all of it came down to nothing and no one - but you."
"Stop it," she mumbled before she smiled brightly. "You're gonna make me cry."
He smiled a small smile back before he mumbled:
"Wouldn't that be something...? Happy tears..."
She pulled up and kissed him, making him stop whether he wanted to or not, and he returned the kiss as gently as she gave it. They pulled apart slowly and relished in stillness for a short while until he asked:
"Willow KNEW about me before the other's did, didn't she?"
Buffy raised her eyebrows, putting on such an extremely innocent expression that he had to laugh.
"What tipped you off? The..."
"...casual way she acted when you and me showed up at the Watcher's holding hands... Yeah, something like that," he filled in and she laughed as well.
"Well, you know what a math-freak she is! She just put two-and-two together," she then replied.
"Easy as that?" he wondered.
"Easy as one-two-three," she stated and at that he tilted her over, nestling his face against her throat as he tickled her sides and she squirmed with a cry of frustration as he pinned her down.
"I was asking you a SERIOUS question," he said as he moved his head to look down at her and she kept a straight face as she nodded.
"If you let it slide," she said, moving her hips against his and his face softened as she added: "I'll make it worth your while."
"Say 'please'," he mumbled as his face drifted closer to hers.
She smiled and then heaved him off her in one quick movement, scrambling off the bed and turning around as she stated:
"Sorry, I'm not the begging kind!"
Running up to the armchair she once again swirled around just as he reached the other side of it and she smiled sweetly as she watched for his next move. He returned the smile easily enough and she squinted at him, estimating. He made as to go to her right and she moved to the left. He followed her movement immediately and she froze, then the smile grew onto her lips again.
"We gonna stand here all night?" she asked and he cocked an eyebrow as he let his gaze travel down the parts of her body not covered by the armchair.
"Not sure I'd mind," he answered.
"Didn't know you to enjoy the looking-and-not-touching approach, honey," she said meaningfully and he seemed to stiffen considerably as one of her hands traveled from her neckline, down over one breast and further to her bellybutton where it began to slowly circle.
"Come here," he murmured, reaching out to grab her, but she was too fast and put one forefinger up, wiggling it in a very reprimanding fashion.
"Say... 'please'," she demanded and the teasing glitter in her green eyes made him swallow.
"Buffy..."
"Yes?" she asked, clearly waiting and he bit his lower lip in aggravation as well as need to pay her back for this, every inch of her, then he said:
"Baby, please... Please, come back to bed."
This time her smile was truer as she sidestepped the piece of furniture and reached out a hand to him. He took it and they walked together up to the sarcophagus.
"You know this isn't a bed, right?" she asked and he smiled, nodding. "I'm just checking 'cause a second ago you asked me to 'come back to bed'."
"I remember," he assured, pulling her close. "I'll GET a bed."
"We're not wasting that money on a BED!" she stated and he raised his eyebrows in fake-shock.
"I thought you didn't want anything to do with MY cash!" he exclaimed and she giggled.
"Yes, but then you explained their heritage so very prettily and now I feel as though they're a little bit part of the family," she said and he shook his head at her.
"Fine. What do you suggest we do with it? And I am actually PRAYING it doesn't involve a mall here."
"No, I was thinking a plane and a beach and a private bungalow somewhere. Just you and me and a couple of mai thais," she said and he observed her for a short minute before replying:
"How does Honolulu sound?"
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ******************
Wow, you guys! You're just amazing, have I ever told you that?! Thank you all so much for wonderful, wonderful feedback! Oh, gosh, I just luuuuv y'all! ;)
This chapter isn't actually "late" per say 'cause I haven't had a chance to finish it until now and so I won't apologize to you yet again and act as though your humbling forgiveness is yet again in need, k? I will only thank thee for thine patience. Or something... :)
Warm and special thanks to wolf116 (hey, you. When I read your review I thought this: that episode was NOT just about having Riley back, girl! Okay, look at it from my p.o.v for just a second 'cause the way I see it there is a much deeper meaning to that surprise turn-up of the ever so boring mr Finn. We get an inside look at what exactly it is that keeps Buffy so easily going back to Spike over and over and over. A look at why her Slayer side isn't stronger in resisting him and bad and temptation! She thinks he's harmless, stupid even. She says there's no way of Spike being the Doctor 'cause he's not smart enough to pull it off. And Spike says "You know what I am, you've always known. And you come to me all the same." Remember? I'm sure you do. This episode is what forces Buffy to realize that Spike isn't toothless, that he isn't good, and since there is no way she could ever believe in him loving her she simply cannot "use" him anymore. It goes against everything that she is. We get to see her come to that final decision. It also, of course, ties up the Riley part of the Buffytrivia. I mean, seriously, he just up and disappeared. This way they could show us where he went, that he isn't obsessing over Buffy still, that he's moved on and that she has to let all of him go - if by any chance she hadn't. Right? SO - Spike being the Doctor was a rather good way of not only showing Buffy - but also us viewers - that there IS a dark side to him that hasn't been quenched simply because he's in love with the Slayer. That he's a being that can't be truly controlled, is he? We got to see that some of the first Spike we got introduced to is still very much there. I think it was a good way of making the Spike/Buffy relationship - or lack there of - come to a close as it was. Because of course it couldn't have gone on forever in that wear and tear manner that they were so fond of. Okay, phew. Sorry. Just needed to say that so you understand where I'm coming from with this. Also, I guess this chapter sorta put some light on my thoughts on the matter... ;) Oh, and the last part was just for show, not tell, k? Didn't mean to confuse, just wanted to show a meeting between Spike and a demon and have the whole Doctor's office closed comment sorta explain it. At least to those absolutely into the show - knowing the details. Which you obviously did. ;) Anyways, hope this clears things up a bit and that you think a bit less confusing and not so vile or annoying or so...A.M.L.) :),
Night (Oh, it's cool you didn't read it. It's not the first thing you think about, I guess. I AM so glad to read that and that it's still up there! B-E- A-utiful! ;) No, seriously, wonderful!!! Oh, and the last part... Well, read the last few lines of wolf116's reply and you'll get it... I hope. I didn't mean to cause confusion with that part. It was just... Spike and a demon and if you've seen As You Were in S6 then you'll know what I'm referring to.) :)
Captain (thanks, sweetie. That was really great to read! I'm happy you liked that part! And really happy you thought it was realistic to the show. THAT I never tire of hearing! ;) Thanks, my friend!)
Mel (hehe, Black Market, exactly. :) Aw, I do know what you mean with the Spuffyholic part... And it does look pretty bright for the two lovebirds, doesn't it? ::) Oh, then it was a GOOD making you go hm. That's just fine, then! ;) Mel, if you do come haunting me I shall be so very obliged to have you there as a permanent poltergeist!) :)
Leanne (thanks for that! Happy to read you liked the last part! Awwww, me two, girl! Makes me so sad TWO! ;) Oh, right! I have to remember to correct the mistake you pointed out. Thanks for that! And I do so hope you enjoyed this chapter!) :)
Rachel (Why, thank you. :) Yes... one more chappy left now. *tear* I AM thinking about a sequel, but I KNOW that I just can't do it right now! *sigh*! Thanks for sending me a thought, though!!!) ;)
Erica (God, you ALMOST made me cry with that comment! I just HAVE to see the last episode of S7, and no, I can't believe I haven't yet!!! Argh! I WILL cry when I do, I know it. The mere thought of it just breaks my heart! And... hey. Next chapter - your answer.) ;)
Taelyn (Oh, can I just tell you how amazing your reviews were to read?! Okay, so I can't even begin to describe how absolutely fabulous you made me feel with those incredible comments of yours - but I am going to try! I mean, just WOW and thanks so, so much! The best one was definitely that you think I've actually created my own personal style. *goosebumps* That was one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me, I swear! Thank you, from the bottom of my beating heart. *smiles at the if you stay up all night you won't blame me comment* ;) And thank you for the TWO reviews. I'm so happy I managed to get you enthusiastic enough to wanna let me know what you think and all I can say to that is YESSSS! ;) Just, thank you! And oh, I think there is a tie for best comment 'cause the fact that this made you feel better than some icky medication makes me soar dangerously high here! I can't tell you, I really can't, how great it feels to know that I make you feel something from reading what I've written. THANK YOU for taking the time to let me know! Thank you for all your wonderful comments and it is for people such as yourself that I write and end up wanting and needing to post! My hat is off.) :)
Keleven (Happy you like the length of this, girl. That's what I like to, to be honest. I hate rushing things. It only messes them up too much, don't you agree? Oh, I know you do and thank you! And, yeah, thanks for the agreement on the Spike-not-turning. *nods seriously*) :)
Carol (Oh, oh, it's the best to read that you enjoy the Buffy and Spike interaction. I don't want it to get sappy or boring! Thanks for easing my mind 'cause that is my greatest fear! ;) Hope you had a good time while you were away and welcome back!) :)
Biffy-Buffy (hey, girl.Thanks a whole bunch of lots for that comment and... the end will soon be revealed so sit tight, k? ;) Love all the support I get and yours is no exception! Thank you!) ;)
Okay, gals and girls! And the off-chance guy or boy or, dare I write it, man. ;P Nah, just wanted to say that this has been one hell of a great ride with you all and I'm deeply indebted to you! Thank you so much and I'm not gonna do this quite yet 'cause there will be one more chance so I'll swipe the tears away for one more chapter and then... let them fall freely. *bawl!*
One more chapter to go, for sure this time. I'll... see you there?
A.M.L, Annie.