This is my first yaoi songfic.
Paring: Kai/Rei
Song: "Easier to run" by Linkin Park
Normal POV
"You're here at last! We were looking for you, Kai!" cried Tyson.
"I left a message for you." Said blue-haired boy with shrugging.
"Yes, but you didn't write where are you going!"
"It's not my responsibility to tell you that."
"Don't forget that we are the team, if you like it or not! You could have just told us where you get out! It wouldn't have harmed you!"
"Tyson, calm down." Rei tried to reason with Tyson.
But Tyson didn't listen to him. He just stared daggers in Kai's direction.
"It's my own life and I can do what I want." Said Kai indifferently.
Tyson particularly detonated, even though the rest of teammates didn't see the sense of his quarrel.
"You jerk, Kai! You think you're so tough! I can't stand you! You'd think being nice was a crime in your book! The only crime is that you're with us! Maybe you should just go back home! It's not like we want you in our team! Then again, I doubt you're even wanted at home! What your parents could stand having you around to remind them of the mistake they made when they gave you life? I'm sick of you, Kai! I think we all are!"
There was a hush. Max, Kenny and Rei stared open mouthed at Tyson, who was slightly redder in the face and was fuming. They had the feeling he had crossed way over the line. Then they looked at Kai, feeling tense. The air was heavy between them.
For a moment his eyes narrowed, his pupils like slits boring down on Tyson. His hands shook, the clenched fists shaking by his sides. The muscles in his arms tensed, and he grit his teeth. His eyebrows lowered and he looked as though he was ready to knock Tyson through the roof. Then suddenly, the anger seemed to drain down an unknown source, away from him. His eyes sank to the floor. His muscles relaxed a little, yet his fists remained clenched. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Tyson wondered what was going on, and then Kai turned sharply on his heel and he left the room, his scarf trailing stiffly behind him, and he slammed the door.
He headed toward the entrance on the roof. He stopped in the middle of it and looked up at glittering stars. "Why I always think about it? Why I must flee from it?" he thought. He felt tired and he didn't know what to do with himself. His eyes started pricking.
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
Rei POV
I went to look for Kai. Tyson really crossed way over the line. I don't blame Kai that he didn't told where he was going. I'm worried about him. When I saw his eyes, as he turned back and left the room, I noticed there some kind of sadness and sore. I must find him and figure out what is happening with him. Why he is always so scared about becoming close to anybody. I must know it, especially now, when I discovered my feelings to him. I want to comfort him, hug him, kiss him.
I need to find him.
Kai POV
He found me and asked to tell him the truth. He had to found out my secret, but he don't know what it is. Why I'm acting like this, why I prefer to be alone, why I don't want to talk with the others. Maybe I should tell him. Rei is different from others. It seems that he grasp my habits. And maybe if I told him my secret, he would understand me. He wouldn't throw me aside and despise me. I want him to know me and be next to me. I want to tell him. But I'm scared.
Something has been taken From deep inside of me A secret I've kept locked away No one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show They never go away Like moving pictures in my head For years and years they've played
Normal POV
"Kai, please, tell me what happened? Why you left the room? You know that Tyson is always so bigheaded and short-tempered, don't you? So why are you concerning about what he has just said?"
No response. Rei was observing Kai, who looked on distant skyscraper. Suddenly, Rei's mind drew up with realization. It must be connected with Tyson's mention about Kai's parents.
"Kai.is it something with your parents? You have never said about them."
Kai's eyes widened in astonishment and he gazed at Rei. "How he knows it?" he thought.
Rei stepped closer to Kai. "Please, tell me Kai. I want to help you. You can trust me."
" Why? Why I can trust you? Why I can know that you don't despise me after telling you my secret? Everybody have blamed me for what happened in my past, so why you won't do the same?"
Rei stayed silent for a moment, then he put his hands on Kai's shoulders and leaned forward to look into his crimson eyes. "You can trust me.because.I love you, Kai." Kai look at him with confusion. He was trying to process the idea that Rei actually confessed love to him when it was Kai that secretly had crush on boy. "Tell me your problem Kai and I swear you it wouldn't change anything between us, ok?"
Kai considered. He always wanted to repair every mistakes he did, but he couldn't cope with it alone. "Maybe this is my chance?" he thought. "Ok. I will tell you." He look deep into boy's amber eyes and faintly smiled. "I will trust you."
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could Stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I Would
They sat on the edge of the roof and Rei focused his attention on Kai, who was looking down. After few moments of silent, he started, unmoving his gaze.
"My father was the son of my grandfather, Voltaire. But he got married with woman, who hadn't been accept by his father. We lived in small house in Japan and Voltaire had never worry about our life." Kai took a deep breath. "It happened when I was six years old. I were helping my father in repairing the car. He was laying under it and my task was to move lever to lower the car. Everything was ok until I heard my father's command to stop. I tried to move the lever, but it was blocked." he swallowed. "I heard my father calling and I pulled harder, but nothing happened. The scream of pain - it was only thing that I remember. At least the lever moved.but it was too late."
Rei saw the small tear trickling down Kai's smooth cheek and he impulsively grabbed boy's hand. Kai continued.
"The car moved up and then I saw him. The blood. His body was twisted oddly. He was dead. I couldn't get away my eyes from him. It was horrible. My mother came running to garage and she took me to my room. I cursorily explained what happened, but I couldn't barely speak. The time had stopped for me. I was sitting on bed with my legs pulled up to my chest and my head lying on knees, watching the emptiness forward me. Then I hear some loud voices at the stairs and after moment doors opened with smash. That was my older brother, Kazuo. He rushed to my room and his hands clamped on my neck. 'You whipster, you killed him! You killed our father!' he yelped. He was squeezing my neck, so I couldn't breath, let alone speak. But my mother rushed to my room too and scram at Kazuo to let go me. She told him that it wasn't my fault and ordered him to look after my little sister, Misako. Then she hugged me and told not to worry." He stopped and fell silent.
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Rei gazed at him with compassion. He didn't know what to exactly say to silver haired boy. Suddenly Kai spoke again. "My grandfather didn't come on the funeral. His son's death hadn't any importance to him." He look up at Rei. "It is normal?" he asked and he continued, not waiting for response. "This death was big blow for my mother. She fell ill and.died. I saw her the last time in hospital. We were there - Kazuo, Misako and I - and she told to look after each other. Then she spoke to my brother, that now he is the head of our family. She smiled to us and then.she passed away."
Rei wanted to say something, but Kai shook his head to not interrupt him. It was easier to keep going now, when he had started. "Our mother's distant friend took up residence with us. She was taking physical care of us, but not mentally. My brother couldn't cope himself with our parents death and he started to drink. Once day I was standing outside our house and I saw that Kazuo is coming to home. I recognized that he had drunk. He started to cross the street, but he didn't noticed the car, which was going very fast. I heard a bang and saw, like in slow motion, how his body flew forward. After second I was next to him. He opened his eyes and look up at him. He put his hand on my head and said 'Kai, I don't blame you for their death. Sorry, I was stupid. Take care of Misako.' He smiled weakly and closed his eyes."
"This time our grandfather appeared on funeral. He took me and my sister to his mansion. He told my that I must get over from depression and he gave me a free hand. I was allowed to do what I wanted, so I wandered the mansion and sometimes trained or taught my sister to play beyblade. One winter day I and, then four years, Misako were walking next to some stream in wood. I was sank in my thoughts and I didn't noticed that she came too close to water. Suddenly I heard her scream. She fell down to icy water. I fished out her and run to house as fast I could, but it come blizzard. When at least we were there and my father called the doctor, it turned out that its too late. I was sitting next to her bed and holding her hand. She smiled to me and.it was end. After some time grandfather send me to the abbey. The rest you know." Kai ended. Then he turned directly to Rei. "What I can do, Rei? I'm.so scared of every I had done. I'm afraid of my mistakes. Sometimes I don't know what to do. Rei, tell me, what I can do? How I can endure this sense of blame?" Black haired boy saw tears in Kai's eyes. "Please, help me Rei. I need your help."
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
"I can't change myself alone. I must stop pretending the person who isn't me, but I can't do it, Rei."
Just washing it aside
All off the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
Rei grab his hand tightly and smiled with comfort to him. "Don't worry Kai, I will help you. I promise."
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
## The End ## Please review and I'll maybe write the next part!
Paring: Kai/Rei
Song: "Easier to run" by Linkin Park
Normal POV
"You're here at last! We were looking for you, Kai!" cried Tyson.
"I left a message for you." Said blue-haired boy with shrugging.
"Yes, but you didn't write where are you going!"
"It's not my responsibility to tell you that."
"Don't forget that we are the team, if you like it or not! You could have just told us where you get out! It wouldn't have harmed you!"
"Tyson, calm down." Rei tried to reason with Tyson.
But Tyson didn't listen to him. He just stared daggers in Kai's direction.
"It's my own life and I can do what I want." Said Kai indifferently.
Tyson particularly detonated, even though the rest of teammates didn't see the sense of his quarrel.
"You jerk, Kai! You think you're so tough! I can't stand you! You'd think being nice was a crime in your book! The only crime is that you're with us! Maybe you should just go back home! It's not like we want you in our team! Then again, I doubt you're even wanted at home! What your parents could stand having you around to remind them of the mistake they made when they gave you life? I'm sick of you, Kai! I think we all are!"
There was a hush. Max, Kenny and Rei stared open mouthed at Tyson, who was slightly redder in the face and was fuming. They had the feeling he had crossed way over the line. Then they looked at Kai, feeling tense. The air was heavy between them.
For a moment his eyes narrowed, his pupils like slits boring down on Tyson. His hands shook, the clenched fists shaking by his sides. The muscles in his arms tensed, and he grit his teeth. His eyebrows lowered and he looked as though he was ready to knock Tyson through the roof. Then suddenly, the anger seemed to drain down an unknown source, away from him. His eyes sank to the floor. His muscles relaxed a little, yet his fists remained clenched. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Tyson wondered what was going on, and then Kai turned sharply on his heel and he left the room, his scarf trailing stiffly behind him, and he slammed the door.
He headed toward the entrance on the roof. He stopped in the middle of it and looked up at glittering stars. "Why I always think about it? Why I must flee from it?" he thought. He felt tired and he didn't know what to do with himself. His eyes started pricking.
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
Rei POV
I went to look for Kai. Tyson really crossed way over the line. I don't blame Kai that he didn't told where he was going. I'm worried about him. When I saw his eyes, as he turned back and left the room, I noticed there some kind of sadness and sore. I must find him and figure out what is happening with him. Why he is always so scared about becoming close to anybody. I must know it, especially now, when I discovered my feelings to him. I want to comfort him, hug him, kiss him.
I need to find him.
Kai POV
He found me and asked to tell him the truth. He had to found out my secret, but he don't know what it is. Why I'm acting like this, why I prefer to be alone, why I don't want to talk with the others. Maybe I should tell him. Rei is different from others. It seems that he grasp my habits. And maybe if I told him my secret, he would understand me. He wouldn't throw me aside and despise me. I want him to know me and be next to me. I want to tell him. But I'm scared.
Something has been taken From deep inside of me A secret I've kept locked away No one can ever see Wounds so deep they never show They never go away Like moving pictures in my head For years and years they've played
Normal POV
"Kai, please, tell me what happened? Why you left the room? You know that Tyson is always so bigheaded and short-tempered, don't you? So why are you concerning about what he has just said?"
No response. Rei was observing Kai, who looked on distant skyscraper. Suddenly, Rei's mind drew up with realization. It must be connected with Tyson's mention about Kai's parents.
"Kai.is it something with your parents? You have never said about them."
Kai's eyes widened in astonishment and he gazed at Rei. "How he knows it?" he thought.
Rei stepped closer to Kai. "Please, tell me Kai. I want to help you. You can trust me."
" Why? Why I can trust you? Why I can know that you don't despise me after telling you my secret? Everybody have blamed me for what happened in my past, so why you won't do the same?"
Rei stayed silent for a moment, then he put his hands on Kai's shoulders and leaned forward to look into his crimson eyes. "You can trust me.because.I love you, Kai." Kai look at him with confusion. He was trying to process the idea that Rei actually confessed love to him when it was Kai that secretly had crush on boy. "Tell me your problem Kai and I swear you it wouldn't change anything between us, ok?"
Kai considered. He always wanted to repair every mistakes he did, but he couldn't cope with it alone. "Maybe this is my chance?" he thought. "Ok. I will tell you." He look deep into boy's amber eyes and faintly smiled. "I will trust you."
If I could change I would Take back the pain I would Retrace every wrong move that I made I would If I could Stand up and take the blame I would If I could take all the shame to the grave I Would
They sat on the edge of the roof and Rei focused his attention on Kai, who was looking down. After few moments of silent, he started, unmoving his gaze.
"My father was the son of my grandfather, Voltaire. But he got married with woman, who hadn't been accept by his father. We lived in small house in Japan and Voltaire had never worry about our life." Kai took a deep breath. "It happened when I was six years old. I were helping my father in repairing the car. He was laying under it and my task was to move lever to lower the car. Everything was ok until I heard my father's command to stop. I tried to move the lever, but it was blocked." he swallowed. "I heard my father calling and I pulled harder, but nothing happened. The scream of pain - it was only thing that I remember. At least the lever moved.but it was too late."
Rei saw the small tear trickling down Kai's smooth cheek and he impulsively grabbed boy's hand. Kai continued.
"The car moved up and then I saw him. The blood. His body was twisted oddly. He was dead. I couldn't get away my eyes from him. It was horrible. My mother came running to garage and she took me to my room. I cursorily explained what happened, but I couldn't barely speak. The time had stopped for me. I was sitting on bed with my legs pulled up to my chest and my head lying on knees, watching the emptiness forward me. Then I hear some loud voices at the stairs and after moment doors opened with smash. That was my older brother, Kazuo. He rushed to my room and his hands clamped on my neck. 'You whipster, you killed him! You killed our father!' he yelped. He was squeezing my neck, so I couldn't breath, let alone speak. But my mother rushed to my room too and scram at Kazuo to let go me. She told him that it wasn't my fault and ordered him to look after my little sister, Misako. Then she hugged me and told not to worry." He stopped and fell silent.
Sometimes I remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Rei gazed at him with compassion. He didn't know what to exactly say to silver haired boy. Suddenly Kai spoke again. "My grandfather didn't come on the funeral. His son's death hadn't any importance to him." He look up at Rei. "It is normal?" he asked and he continued, not waiting for response. "This death was big blow for my mother. She fell ill and.died. I saw her the last time in hospital. We were there - Kazuo, Misako and I - and she told to look after each other. Then she spoke to my brother, that now he is the head of our family. She smiled to us and then.she passed away."
Rei wanted to say something, but Kai shook his head to not interrupt him. It was easier to keep going now, when he had started. "Our mother's distant friend took up residence with us. She was taking physical care of us, but not mentally. My brother couldn't cope himself with our parents death and he started to drink. Once day I was standing outside our house and I saw that Kazuo is coming to home. I recognized that he had drunk. He started to cross the street, but he didn't noticed the car, which was going very fast. I heard a bang and saw, like in slow motion, how his body flew forward. After second I was next to him. He opened his eyes and look up at him. He put his hand on my head and said 'Kai, I don't blame you for their death. Sorry, I was stupid. Take care of Misako.' He smiled weakly and closed his eyes."
"This time our grandfather appeared on funeral. He took me and my sister to his mansion. He told my that I must get over from depression and he gave me a free hand. I was allowed to do what I wanted, so I wandered the mansion and sometimes trained or taught my sister to play beyblade. One winter day I and, then four years, Misako were walking next to some stream in wood. I was sank in my thoughts and I didn't noticed that she came too close to water. Suddenly I heard her scream. She fell down to icy water. I fished out her and run to house as fast I could, but it come blizzard. When at least we were there and my father called the doctor, it turned out that its too late. I was sitting next to her bed and holding her hand. She smiled to me and.it was end. After some time grandfather send me to the abbey. The rest you know." Kai ended. Then he turned directly to Rei. "What I can do, Rei? I'm.so scared of every I had done. I'm afraid of my mistakes. Sometimes I don't know what to do. Rei, tell me, what I can do? How I can endure this sense of blame?" Black haired boy saw tears in Kai's eyes. "Please, help me Rei. I need your help."
Sometimes I think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
"I can't change myself alone. I must stop pretending the person who isn't me, but I can't do it, Rei."
Just washing it aside
All off the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
Rei grab his hand tightly and smiled with comfort to him. "Don't worry Kai, I will help you. I promise."
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone
## The End ## Please review and I'll maybe write the next part!