Chapter 2 - Lying from you

~~I decided to write next chapter. Enjoy. ~~

Kai POV

Nearly one month passed after my confession. We came back to Japan and Rei and I are living together. We spends our time on some walks, trainings and meeting with the rest of Bladebrakers. Of course we talk with each other about us, our plans and the other stuff. I don't know why, but we avoid talking about my past.
Everybody, especially Rei, think that I'm starting to feel better, open to people and forget about my problems. But only I know, that is not a true. To be honest I feel like threw to some kind of spin-dryer and I can't get out of it. Everything seems to be distant from me and I can't help that I have enough of it.

When I pretend

everything is what I want it to be

I look exactly like what you had always
Wanted to see

when I pretend

I can forget about the criminal I am

stealing second after second just cause
I know I can / but

I can't pretend this is the way
It will stay / I'm just

trying to bend the truth

I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be

so I'm

lying my way from you

I know that is not fair in relation to Rei that I'm not honest with him, that I'm acting like this. I should tell him the truth, but I can't hurt him. He tries to help with so big determination that I can't tell him that this is pointless. How would I do it to him?

[No / no turning back now]

I wanna be pushed aside

so let me go

[No / no turning back now]

let me take back my life

I'd rather be all alone

[No turning back now]

anywhere on my own

'cause I can see

[No / no turning back now]

the very worst part of you

is me

Of course, I don't blame him. He tries his best. The only person, who can be blame is me and my damn memories, which still can't leave me.

I remember what they taught to me

remember condescending talk
Of who I ought to be

remember listening to all of that
And this again

so I pretended up a person who was fitting in

and now you think this person
Really is me and I'm

[trying to bend the truth]

but the more I push

the more I'm pulling away

'cause I'm

[lying my way from you]

I have enough of this uncertainty and this sense of blame. I must tell him everything what I feel. Maybe he will understand me. Even if he not, I will know that I acted fair. I must tell him, no matter how much it will costs.

This isn't what I wanted to be

I never thought that what I said

would have you running from me

like this

The very worst part of you

is me

~~ I'm sorry, that was short chapter, but I will update soon. Please review!~~