A/N: what's this? Three chapters in one day?
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.
.
When she woke up again, it was obviously the next day.
Hermione yawned, stretched, tossed, turned, ate a little something off her bedside table, massaged her eyes, and mumbled incoherently, but after a while she figured she wouldn't be getting back to sleep again any time soon.
It was still well after she had acknowledged this fact that the past events finally replayed through her mind.
It was all too weird. Scary, really. Either she was dreaming, or....
Hey, wait a second! If she'd been here for all of yesterday's last classes and was obviously here NOW (afternoon, judging by the sun) then where were the two idiots that called them her friends? Surely, since today was Saturday, they would be here by her side?
After a bit more, she decided to get up and go find them. They'd better have a good reason for not being there.
"Madame Pomfrey?" her voice echoed around the empty room. She looked around. When was the healer not present?
Swallowing an uncomfortable lump in her throat, Hermione began to search around for her robes. Upon finding them, she threw them on (over the hospital clothes) and stuffed her feet into her sneakers, not bothering with her socks since they obviously weren't there.
Moving at a light jog, she made her way down through empty halls, past empty classrooms, and eventually it dawned on her that everybody else might be outside. Were the grounds all big enough for that? Shrugging it off, she found herself in front of the portrait of the fat lady.
"Password?"
"Mimbulus mimbletonia." She said.
"I'm sorry dear, that's not it."
"What?"
"I said, that's not the password."
"Yes it is, last time I checked! Which was yesterday! I don't forget things like that! Did you guys change it for some reason?"
"No, it hasn't been changed as of yesterday. It's quite alright, plenty of students forget the password early on in the year..."
"No! No, this is very bad! That MUST be the password, it /must/ it /is/!"
"No, dear, it isn't. Perhaps you have the wrong tapestry..."
"No! I don't! That IS the password! I did NOT pronounce it wrong!"
"I'm afraid you did."
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"NO I DIDN'T!"
"YES YOU DID!"
"NO. I. DID. NOT!"
"Is there a problem, ladies?" asked a quiet, tired voice. Hermione whipped around, stumbled slightly, and almost fell right in to a boy. Around her age, again, except taller. He had light eyes and light brown hair that was currently flyaway. He looked from Hermione, to the tapestry, to Hermione again. He looked awfully familiar...
"This student here," the tapestry began sniffily, "is trying to tell me what the password is!"
"And... you aren't letting you tell you the password."
"No! No, not like that, I mean, she told me the password, it's just the wrong password, and she insists it's the right one!"
"It IS the right one!" Hermione shot back, forgetting about the boy behind her. "You're just being a difficult little..."
"Ladies, ladies, calm down." Again, both sets of brown eyes turned towards the boy. His voice was quiet, so it seemed that both had to strain to hear. "She forgot the password. It happens all the time, so just calm down."
"I DID NOT FORGET THE PASSWORD!" Hermione screamed at the top of her voice. Now they stared at /her/.
"Got quite a set of tubes, that one," noted another voice. The Sirius- imposter had stepped around the corner.
He smiled brightly.
"So, Hermione, you got let out early, huh? Did you get diagnosed with amnesia or schizophrenia?"
"I'm perfectly fine I'll have you know!" Hermione shot back. Then, after a moment's thought, "and you still haven't told me your real name!"
"Oh, lord, don't start that again. I told you more than enough times, Pomfrey told you, Dumbledore told you... Is it /so/ hard to accept the fact that I have a prettier name than you do?" the little smile he had was infuriating. Hermione wanted right then nothing more than to strangle him (again, if what he had told her before was true). "Oh, and remember the way you ranted back in the hospital wing? It's all true, you know. Standing right next to you with the hairstyle that went out fifty years ago and the extra-thinness, we have Remus Lupin! I believe that James Potter and Peter Pettigrew will be inside there." He pointed vaguely at the fat lady, who sniffed again.
Hermione looked from the would-be-Sirius to the would-be-Remus to the fat lady tapestry, and finally her gaze settled on somebody who had come up behind the would-be-Sirius.
"What's going on?" the boy asked. "Why are we all standing... oh, you're that girl that got pushed, aren't you?" he looked past Sirius to Hermione, raising his eyebrows. A hand came up and ruffled his already messy hair.
"Harry!" Hermione cried, feeling relief wash over her.
"Really, you think so?" the would-be-Sirius asked, looking at Harry. "Nah, I've got more hair than he does."
Hermione ignored him. Harry glared at him. The would-be-Lupin rolled his eyes.
"Harry, where have you been? And where's Ron? Where's Malfoy?" she fought the urge to run up and hug him.
"Excuse me?" Harry asked. His voice seemed a little different. Almost... no. Hermione shook her head, one hand reaching up to touch a temple. She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Harry was talking again.
"I haven't seen you before, and I'm going to make an educated guess and say you aren't in Gryffindor." He remarked.
"WHAT?!? SO, you're in on this little joke too, huh?!? WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW-" Hermione motioned toward Harry, the would-be-Sirius, the would-be- Lupin, and the fat lady portrait "-THAT I AM NOT THAT GULLIBLE!"
"What joke?" Harry asked. Something akin to understanding crossed his face and he looked from the would be Sirius to the would be Remus back to the would be Sirius again. "Joke?" he echoed, voice slightly exaggerated.
"Not me," the would-be-Sirius said, shaking his head lightly. "And we both know Moony wouldn't do something that weirded out to a /girl/ of all things..."
Hermione roared. That did it. Two things the would-be-Sirius shouldn't have said; "moony" and "things"
"THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH! I'M NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS, HARRY!" and with that, she was off running again. Towards the headmaster's office. That was just too much. What was going on???
She got there, panting, clutching a stitch in her side, when she realized she didn't know the password.
Which was just as well, because right then Dumbledore himself walked up, accompanied by a complaining blond. Hermione's eyes slid over the blond to Dumbledore, who did just the exact same thing.
"Why, hello," he said pleasantly. "Is this the boy who pushed you?"
Hermione didn't even bother to glance at the little kid. "No," she said, exaggerating the word. "I said Malfoy, not tiny little blond. Listen, professor, this has gone on long enough! I'm tired of this joke, it isn't funny, and if I'm expected to play along, I won't! I want everything to go back to normal, and I want to know those two boys' real names!" after her outburst, Hermione felt (strangely enough) much better than before. She regarded Dumbledore with a sense of integrity.
"This is Malfoy," Dumbledore said once he was certain she had quite finished.
"What?"
This time Hermione did look at the little blond.
Little! Ha! He was in first year, obviously. Other than the blond hair and eyes, he didn't bear any resemblance to Draco at all.
"No, that's not him. I didn't know he had a brother."
"He doesn't."
.
.
.
When she woke up again, it was obviously the next day.
Hermione yawned, stretched, tossed, turned, ate a little something off her bedside table, massaged her eyes, and mumbled incoherently, but after a while she figured she wouldn't be getting back to sleep again any time soon.
It was still well after she had acknowledged this fact that the past events finally replayed through her mind.
It was all too weird. Scary, really. Either she was dreaming, or....
Hey, wait a second! If she'd been here for all of yesterday's last classes and was obviously here NOW (afternoon, judging by the sun) then where were the two idiots that called them her friends? Surely, since today was Saturday, they would be here by her side?
After a bit more, she decided to get up and go find them. They'd better have a good reason for not being there.
"Madame Pomfrey?" her voice echoed around the empty room. She looked around. When was the healer not present?
Swallowing an uncomfortable lump in her throat, Hermione began to search around for her robes. Upon finding them, she threw them on (over the hospital clothes) and stuffed her feet into her sneakers, not bothering with her socks since they obviously weren't there.
Moving at a light jog, she made her way down through empty halls, past empty classrooms, and eventually it dawned on her that everybody else might be outside. Were the grounds all big enough for that? Shrugging it off, she found herself in front of the portrait of the fat lady.
"Password?"
"Mimbulus mimbletonia." She said.
"I'm sorry dear, that's not it."
"What?"
"I said, that's not the password."
"Yes it is, last time I checked! Which was yesterday! I don't forget things like that! Did you guys change it for some reason?"
"No, it hasn't been changed as of yesterday. It's quite alright, plenty of students forget the password early on in the year..."
"No! No, this is very bad! That MUST be the password, it /must/ it /is/!"
"No, dear, it isn't. Perhaps you have the wrong tapestry..."
"No! I don't! That IS the password! I did NOT pronounce it wrong!"
"I'm afraid you did."
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did!"
"NO I DIDN'T!"
"YES YOU DID!"
"NO. I. DID. NOT!"
"Is there a problem, ladies?" asked a quiet, tired voice. Hermione whipped around, stumbled slightly, and almost fell right in to a boy. Around her age, again, except taller. He had light eyes and light brown hair that was currently flyaway. He looked from Hermione, to the tapestry, to Hermione again. He looked awfully familiar...
"This student here," the tapestry began sniffily, "is trying to tell me what the password is!"
"And... you aren't letting you tell you the password."
"No! No, not like that, I mean, she told me the password, it's just the wrong password, and she insists it's the right one!"
"It IS the right one!" Hermione shot back, forgetting about the boy behind her. "You're just being a difficult little..."
"Ladies, ladies, calm down." Again, both sets of brown eyes turned towards the boy. His voice was quiet, so it seemed that both had to strain to hear. "She forgot the password. It happens all the time, so just calm down."
"I DID NOT FORGET THE PASSWORD!" Hermione screamed at the top of her voice. Now they stared at /her/.
"Got quite a set of tubes, that one," noted another voice. The Sirius- imposter had stepped around the corner.
He smiled brightly.
"So, Hermione, you got let out early, huh? Did you get diagnosed with amnesia or schizophrenia?"
"I'm perfectly fine I'll have you know!" Hermione shot back. Then, after a moment's thought, "and you still haven't told me your real name!"
"Oh, lord, don't start that again. I told you more than enough times, Pomfrey told you, Dumbledore told you... Is it /so/ hard to accept the fact that I have a prettier name than you do?" the little smile he had was infuriating. Hermione wanted right then nothing more than to strangle him (again, if what he had told her before was true). "Oh, and remember the way you ranted back in the hospital wing? It's all true, you know. Standing right next to you with the hairstyle that went out fifty years ago and the extra-thinness, we have Remus Lupin! I believe that James Potter and Peter Pettigrew will be inside there." He pointed vaguely at the fat lady, who sniffed again.
Hermione looked from the would-be-Sirius to the would-be-Remus to the fat lady tapestry, and finally her gaze settled on somebody who had come up behind the would-be-Sirius.
"What's going on?" the boy asked. "Why are we all standing... oh, you're that girl that got pushed, aren't you?" he looked past Sirius to Hermione, raising his eyebrows. A hand came up and ruffled his already messy hair.
"Harry!" Hermione cried, feeling relief wash over her.
"Really, you think so?" the would-be-Sirius asked, looking at Harry. "Nah, I've got more hair than he does."
Hermione ignored him. Harry glared at him. The would-be-Lupin rolled his eyes.
"Harry, where have you been? And where's Ron? Where's Malfoy?" she fought the urge to run up and hug him.
"Excuse me?" Harry asked. His voice seemed a little different. Almost... no. Hermione shook her head, one hand reaching up to touch a temple. She closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, Harry was talking again.
"I haven't seen you before, and I'm going to make an educated guess and say you aren't in Gryffindor." He remarked.
"WHAT?!? SO, you're in on this little joke too, huh?!? WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW-" Hermione motioned toward Harry, the would-be-Sirius, the would-be- Lupin, and the fat lady portrait "-THAT I AM NOT THAT GULLIBLE!"
"What joke?" Harry asked. Something akin to understanding crossed his face and he looked from the would be Sirius to the would be Remus back to the would be Sirius again. "Joke?" he echoed, voice slightly exaggerated.
"Not me," the would-be-Sirius said, shaking his head lightly. "And we both know Moony wouldn't do something that weirded out to a /girl/ of all things..."
Hermione roared. That did it. Two things the would-be-Sirius shouldn't have said; "moony" and "things"
"THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH! I'M NEVER FORGIVING YOU FOR THIS, HARRY!" and with that, she was off running again. Towards the headmaster's office. That was just too much. What was going on???
She got there, panting, clutching a stitch in her side, when she realized she didn't know the password.
Which was just as well, because right then Dumbledore himself walked up, accompanied by a complaining blond. Hermione's eyes slid over the blond to Dumbledore, who did just the exact same thing.
"Why, hello," he said pleasantly. "Is this the boy who pushed you?"
Hermione didn't even bother to glance at the little kid. "No," she said, exaggerating the word. "I said Malfoy, not tiny little blond. Listen, professor, this has gone on long enough! I'm tired of this joke, it isn't funny, and if I'm expected to play along, I won't! I want everything to go back to normal, and I want to know those two boys' real names!" after her outburst, Hermione felt (strangely enough) much better than before. She regarded Dumbledore with a sense of integrity.
"This is Malfoy," Dumbledore said once he was certain she had quite finished.
"What?"
This time Hermione did look at the little blond.
Little! Ha! He was in first year, obviously. Other than the blond hair and eyes, he didn't bear any resemblance to Draco at all.
"No, that's not him. I didn't know he had a brother."
"He doesn't."