It wasn't until the next afternoon that Will realized that Elizabeth was really gone. He had spent the morning convincing himself that she would turn up. Now it was time to face the facts. Elizabeth was gone. "She must be kidnapped," he thought, for there was no other explanation to this mysterious disappearance. He went to the stables and saddled his brown steed Gaelen, to go in search of Elizabeth. He first went to her father's house, and said, "Elizabeth is gone!" Her father immediately commanded his men to aid Will in the search for his daughter. They spent the entire day scouring the town, but found no traces of Elizabeth. They finally retired, exhausted, to their beds.

Out at sea, on the Black Pearl, another couple was lying exhausted in bed. "Oh Jack," Elizabeth said. "The words of Shakespeare are best fitting at this time. 'Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action, and 'til action lust is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame, savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust. Enjoyed no sooner but despised straight. Past reason hunted, and no sooner had past reason hated, as a swallowed bait, on purpose laid, to make the taker mad, mad in pursuit and in possession so, had, having, and in quest to have, extreme, a bliss in proof, and proved a very woe. Before, a joy proposed, behind, a dream. All this the world well knows, yet none the world knows well to shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.'"

"What does that mean?" asked Jack.

"I don't know," said Elizabeth. "I just know it's about sex."

"Savvy!" said Jack. "More rum!"



Will was toiling in a pitch. He could find no clue as to Elizabeth's whereabouts. He wandered aimlessly about the yard until he almost tripped over a mound of poo. "What is this doing here?" asked Will to no one in particular.

"It's ass dung, sir!" said one of the stablehands.

"What's that doing outside my window?" asked Will.

Then, suddenly, it all fell into place. Whoever had kidnapped Elizabeth must have been riding an ass. He began to inquire in town whether anyone had seen someone riding through town on a ass.

"Jack, I'm ever so hungry," breathed Elizabeth into Jack's sweaty shoulder.

"Haven't you had enough in your mouth for one night?" he panted.

"Oh, I'm so tired!" she groaned.

Then they dragged themselves out of bed to see what they could find for breakfast.

[{Author's apology: I do really like Will Turner, but it's so much fun to write about stupid husbands and unfaithful wives.}]