Notes: This chapter comes really late...I'm sorry. And I have no real excuse for it...I had some problems, and then I didn't know how to continue, and then I couldn't reach my beta-reader(Settiai, where are you? I mailed you!), so I had to ask another friend of me. THANKS to Icelightning, who corrected so many of my silly mistakes! You're great, girl! Oh, and if you ever want to read good Mighty Ducks stories, read Icelightning's *hint hint* Uhm, there's really not much to say. I hope you like this chapter, and again sorry for the delay...~Kaeera

Broken Wings

by Kaeera

Part Three: Lost

The pen scribbled over the paper, making scratching noises. The room was silent; only this noise could be heard. The boy who was causing it, sat at the desk, solving math problems. Numbers were written steadily on the sheet by the blue pen. Suddenly the hand hesitated. It twitched a few times, as if it didn't know exactly what to do, and the hand trembled.
He held the pen tighter, his knuckles becoming white. A few more numbers were scribbled down, then he stopped again.

"I can't do it", Ken stared on the sheet. He buried his head in his hands. "I just keep seeing this image in my head, and it's so...so..." He couldn't find the words to describe what he was feeling.

"Ken...", Wormmon crawled to his side. "You shouldn't give up hope."

His indigo hairs were falling into his eyes. "Hope? Where's hope? I don't see it. Wormmon, you didn't see him, because I left you at home. It was....", he just shook his head, a few tears splattering on the numbers on the paper, smearing the scribbled notes, but Ken didn't care.

"Do you know that it was actually the first time when I saw fear written in his face?" he said absently, looking out of the window. "I've seen him shocked, angry, laughing, crying, even serious...but scared?"
He hesitated for a moment, "He was unconscious. Lying on the floor with his eyes closed. But even then you could see how frightened he had been - must have been. His face was frozen like stone. Fear...Fear.... So much fear. And then the blood...."

"Don't talk about it when it hurts so much," the digimon suggested, his large eyes shining with concern for both his friend and his partner.

"No," Ken shook his head. "It's better if I tell it. Maybe then I feel better. It's lying on my heart like a big stone, a heavy weight which is crushing me..."

He took a deep breath and began to tell the events of that faithful day.

"When I went upstairs to his flat, I didn't suspect anything. Sure, Davis had been acting a little bit strange over the last months, but I thought that it was because of the school pressure and all the stress....he was really trying to get good grades, but most of the time he didn't manage it. And when he didn't answer my phone calls or the messages I left for him....it was normal for him. He never listened to the answering machine. I walked up his staircase....I've gone up them so many times that I can tell you exactly how many stairs there are. His walls were a bluish-gray color. The door to his apartment was brown with a small sign on it, showing 'Motomiya'. I went there like always, went there and rang the bell, rang it several times, but no one responded. I thought that it was strange, because we had an appointment. But I knew Davis, at least I thought I knew him, so I just expected that he was playing some video games and didn't hear the door. For a moment I stood there, lost, not knowing what to do."

He played with the pen in his hands, focusing on it as if it had words to read on it, "I noticed that the door was open. I didn't think anything bad....I just entered. The Motomiya's were always so forgetful that it wasn't a big surprise. But then, in the flat, it was...different. It was so calm, so very calm. Silent. Like....death. And there was a strange smell in the air. Metallic. I shouted "Hello!", shouted that I was there, but nobody answered. It was then when I started to become worried. I walked into Daisuke's room. Nobody there. Just this strange atmosphere - creepy, dreading, dark. Unsure of what to do, I finally entered the living room. And there I found him....."

His voice trembled and it took Ken great effort to continue. He closed his eyes because he didn't want to see his memories, didn't want to remember, didn't want to see his friend like that....

"He was lying, on the ground, in a pool of his own blood. I didn't notice it him at first. I stared into the living room, noticed the couch lying on the floor, saw the dirt on the ground, realized what a mess it was. There was a red liquid on the ground, and when my eyes followed the trail, I saw his body....I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true! I stared at him, stared and stared, stared in shock. His face was covered with bruises and cuts. The pain engraved in his face...Pain and an incredible fear. And the blood....it was so red. A dark red, like ketchup. Like the ketchup you get at the McDonald's. But it wasn't ketchup. It was real! My friend, my best friend was laying in his own living room. I thought that he was dead. I couldn't see him breathing. And his face was so pale. So very pale."

"I don't know how long I stood there. Minutes, hours, seconds, all could be possible. For me it seemed to be an eternity. I didn't move. Didn't flinch. Didn't even cry. Then, finally, I managed it to call the ambulance. With trembling fingers I dialed the number. I don't know what I told them. Something like 'My friend is dead'. I guess I was panicked, freaked out, whatever. It was a wonder that they could find out the right address. They were fast. I think. Maybe. I have no idea. After I had made the phone call, I went back into the living room and stared at his body again. Memories were going through my head, so many memories. His face, laughing, smiling, eating ice-cream. His attitude, carefree, thick-headed, optimistic. 'Is it all over?', I thought and couldn't believe it. I wanted to touch him, but I was too scared."

He stared into the space, not really seeing his surroundings. "When they finally came and told me that he was still alive, I could have danced of joy. Back then I didn't realize what had really happened."

Ken's shoulders shook as he started sobbing. Wormmon crawled into his lap and hugged him with all his feet. The digimon himself was deeply shocked by the story of his indigo-haired friend. In all the time he had known Daisuke, the goggle-wearing boy had always a place reserved in his heart. He liked Daisuke, liked him as a friend, and enjoyed being together with him and his partner, Veemon. And now this Daisuke couldn't be there anymore? Was he lost forever?

He didn't understand it. He had always thought that parents loved their children. That they cared for them, even when they quarrelled from time to time. But...something like that? A single tear dropped down his face.

"Ken...", he said, trying to comfort his friend. "I know that it's terrible. But we can't let him down now. He needs us, and he needs you especially, as his best friend. Imagine what Daisuke must be feeling! You have to be strong, you have to help him....and you have to keep the hope that one day he might return as the old Davis we all know."

"I know," Ken whispered. "But it's so difficult. So damn difficult...." he stared at his green friend. "Everytime when I see him, I want to beat his father. I want to beat the world because that happened to my best friend one of the nicest people I have ever known. But I have to pull together, because only then can I help him."

He stayed silent for a short moment. "But....when I talk to him, he doesn't seem to hear anything of the words I say. When I come nearer, he tries to hide, because he thinks that I will beat him. He...hides. He flees from me. And I don't know what to do...."

Wormmon thought for a moment. "Couldn't Veemon help him?"

Ken's eyes shot open. "Veemon?", he stood abruptly up and looked around. "I've totally forgotten him! Where's Veemon? I didn't see him in Daisuke's apartment. You could be right, Wormmon, there's a special bond between digidestined and their digimon, maybe that could help. Why didn't I think of that before?" He scratched his chin. "Maybe he's in the Digital World....I'll ask the others about this. Maybe they can help us in searching for our friend."

With a sudden energy he jumped towards his cupboard and took the telephone, ready to call his friends. It was at least something to do, and it would distract him from the horrible images in his head.
His homework was still laying on the table, unfinished, the pen somewhere on the desk between masses of papers. Slowly the teardrops dried.

******************************


There were voices, many voices. Some of them yelling, some laughing, whispering, crying. They were coming from all sides, voices without words, nameless. Sometimes persons would appear, doing things, walking around, coming nearer. It wasn't good when they came nearer. Then they changed and became large shadows.

The shadow reminded of something. Something bad. Large and bad.

Voices, voices around him. In his head, in his soul, in his heart.

The pain, the pain was always there. Hurting. Everything hurt. Everybody hurts. Painful. Everybody wanted to hurt everybody. Not good. Bad. Evil. Not seeing others.

Some voices were nicer than others. Images were coming along with the voices. Nice images. Laughing people. Smiling people. Shining sun. Flowers. People. Many people.

People were bad. People didn't laugh. Evil. No laughter. Just evil laughter. Never go to people. People will hurt. Hurt you. Pain is terrible. Pain. Sadness. Darkness.

Voices, so many voices. Always there. Always calling. Always shouting his name. No words. No words. Just voices. Loud voices, old voices, strange voices, bad voices....


*****************************

"Miss Motomiya, this is serious!"

Jun stared on her hands with a determined look on her face, "I'm serious, too. I don't want to be seperated from my brother. He's the only one I've got....and he needs me," she looked at the social worker with pleading eyes. Her face was pale, with huge shadows under her eyes, and the whole girl seemed to be thin and skinny. The past had had her effects on Jun, too.

The social worker, a woman around forty, with red hair and warm, gray eyes, sighed and took her pen. "I can understand your feelings. I really can. But there are laws. You're brother will be put into a clinic which is specialised on apathetic children. It will be the best for him, and your parents will have to pay for it - It's most likely that the judge will see them as guilty, as there's so much evidence against them. However, there's no place for you in that clinic, and so you'll be put into a foster home, or an orphanage. You can visit your brother every day, believe me, they even want that you do that. But you can't live with him!"

"But I...", the girl didn't know what to say and shrunk in her chair. "I just want everything to be like before....", she whispered with teary eyes and held her head down.

The woman smiled a bit. "I know," she replied softly. "But your brother needs professional help. As soon as his wounds are healed, he will be brought into that clinic. During that time, you will live in the orphanage of the city. There's already a room for you."

Jun fell silent and stared out of the window. It was another beautiful day, the birds singing in the trees and the warm sun shining down on the people, but her heart was bleeding. The image of her brother always came into her mind, his lost and dead eyes, the small skinny body and the white face.

"Okay," she spoke softly, as if to convince herself. "It's okay. Okay."

Mrs. Seto, the social worker, knew that it wasn't okay, but she didn't say anything. She was a nice lady, her eyes full of warmth and love. Every time she met such kids like Jun, she felt anger rise and the sadness overcame her.

"I will drive you home so that you can pack your stuff," she said. "You don't have to go inside if you don't want to; you may give me a list with the things you and your brother will need and I will search for them."

"Yeah. Okay," replied the girl absently and continued to stare out of the window.

***********************

They were all in Koushiro's room, both the old and new digidestined. The bearer of the crest of knowledge was sitting in front of his laptop and typing furiously on the keyboard.

"Have you found him?", asked an anxious Ken. He was standing behind the redhead, impatiently tapping with his feet.

"Are you sure that Veemon is in the Digital World?", asked Takeru. "I mean, he could be everywhere. Maybe he escaped or maybe Daisuke's fa-....", he couldn't finish the last word, but the darkness on his face showed enough.

Ken shook his head. "I have no idea. But...but it seems like the greatest possibility. Maybe Daisuke wanted to make sure that Veemon was safe and put him into the Digital World. I just know that we have to find him; he's probably the only one who can still communicate with Davis."

Koushiro scratched his chin. "It's pretty difficult to locate a digimon with the computer, but I think I have at least found the area. We must go through the gate and search for ourselves."

The kids looked at each other and nodded. "We'll split in groups.", Tai stated and walked to the computer. "So that we can cover a big area."

"Let's go!", Ken grabbed Wormmon. "We have to hurry..."

It took them a few seconds to open the digital gate. Without any hesitation the ten kids went through it.

In the Digital World the partners of the older kids were already waiting. The greeting, however, was short, for all their minds were troubled.
"Okay, we'll start," Tai announced. "Who will go with whom?"

"Ken and I will search the mountains in the north.", Miyako offered.
Cody looked at her, nodding, "Then I'll go with Joe and Koushiro, if that's okay."

The two older boys nodded, and Joe added, "We will head to the south."

"Kari and I can go westwards.", Takeru glanced at Hikari. "There are some woods, and I think it would be a likely place for Veemon. After all there's food."

"Hm, yeah," Tai scratched his chin. "Then Sora, Matt and me will walk to the east. Give your best, people!"
They waved to each other and left the place, followed by their digimon.

"I just hope that we'll find him....", Miyako sighed and looked at Ken. She was a bit worried. The former digimon Kaiser took the events pretty badly. 'No surprise,' she thought gloomily, 'I would have freaked out too if I had found Davis lying like dead in his home. It must have been horrible...'

"Are you okay?", she asked softly, wanting to say something, and immediately cursed herself for doing so. "Oh no, that was a stupid question. Of course you are not, none of us are...I just wanted to..."

Ken smiled weakly, "I know. You don't have to feel sorry, you want to help. But I don't think that it's me who needs help - it's Daisuke."

Miyako nodded, speaking softly,. "I can't understand why we didn't see it...."

"Me neither. You always think that something so cruel like child abuse would be noticed, but we were blind. We just saw what we wanted to see!"

"Why didn't he tell us about it?"

Ken laughed shortly, a bitter laugh, "Miyako, you know Daisuke. He's a wandering talkmaster, but did he ever tell you anything private? Did he ever tell you when he felt depressed or wanted to cry? His true feelings?"

"I....", Miyako thought for a moment. "No...", she admitted, surprised by Ken's observation. Now when she thought about it...the boy with the goggles had always talked a lot, but never important things. It was like a...distraction. A distraction from his real self?

"He never said anything about how he felt. It was like acting. He talked so much that we didn't notice that he was actually silent. Other people say nothing, and he talks nonsense. It took a long time to figure that out, because I'm exactly the opposite - I never talk much about myself or about anything else. I even felt a little bit jealous of him, because he was able to spill his guts to everyone. Then I started to watch him closely. He's my best friend, but not even I knew anything about his deepest feelings. In fact, I can say that I never knew the true Daisuke..."

Miyako stared at him, "That would be...I mean, I always assumed that he was like that...silly, goofy, funny and with no real feelings. Like a comic figure." Suddenly, she felt bad about it.

"See what I mean?", the boy brushed his hair out of his face. "Maybe he would have opened with the time. Maybe...he would have trusted us enough to tell the truth. But it was too late....when I found him; it was too late..."

The girl gently took his arm, "It's not the time to be depressed. We have to be strong for Daisuke. He needs you! Needs us, but you especially. You know him, and I think he trusts you. He was just too scared to say anything."

"I know...I know.", they continued to walk through the green landscape, searching for a certain blue digimon.

The white feathers

darkening the sun

Broken Wings

reaching out to fly

failing

Broken Eyes

Window to the soul has closed

"I can't see him, can you?", Hikari searched through the bushes for any signs of the small digimon.

"Nothing.", came the tired reply. "We don't even know if he's here or not. Heck, we don't even know if Veemon is still alive.", Takeru slumped to the ground and covered his eyes with his hands. "This is just so hopeless..."

Hikari didn't know what to say for a moment, but finally managed to come up with a reply,. "TK, if we give up hope, everything is lost, you know that..."

"Of course I do! It's just...Kari, every time I see him, I want to cry and beat somebody. But I can't do anything! I'm just standing there, like a complete idiot! If we try to hug him, he panics. If we talk to him, he doesn't hear us. I just...just want everything to be normal again!"

The girl fell silent for a minute. "We all want that.", she finally whispered softly. "It happens so often that I wish...that I wonder why I didn't see it. Or why he didn't tell us. I always believed that we were friends and that he trusted us...but I was wrong. And now it's too late, it's too god damn late! I can understand how you feel, because all of us feel the same way. But that doesn't mean that we can give up. We have to be strong. We have to keep our light - and our hope!"

Takeru sighed and nodded. "I never thought that I had to deal with this kind of topic.", he mumbled and stood up. "Child abuse..."

************************


She walked up the stairs to the apartment and couldn't help but feeling afraid. She had refused Mrs.Seto's suggestion for the woman to get her things, and wanted to go by herself, but ;rs. Seto had insisted that she should at least accompany her. But now, when she stood in front of the door, Jun felt strange - scared, sad and excited. She hadn't come home since the tragic events, and she hadn't seen either of her parents. Well, she was quite happy about not seeing her father, but her mothers...she missed her.

The door opened and revealed a gloomy room. The windows were darkened and there were still traces of the police who had searched for evidence against Mr. Motomiya. Jun gulped and entered the apartment. With half-closed eyes, she walked directly into her room, carefully avoiding to look at the place where Daisuke had laid. She couldn't bear to see the dried blood on the ground...

Her room still looked the same. The pictures on the wall, the CDs, the books, and her backpack on the ground. For the last four days she had practically lived in the hospital, and somebody had been so nice to bring her a few things out of her room. But now she needed to move, and that meant that she had to pack her stuff. The girl took a bag and put various clothes into it. She wasn't really paying attention, just trying to do this as fast as possible and to leave her home, a place which had lost the warmth one would associate with that word.

On her desk lied her school stuff: her books, pens, and sheets. Sadly she looked at it, thinking of the school - when would she return? When would she be strong enough to return? She was so very alone now...
Jun felt like she was in a trance, she took the pens and stuffed them in the bag.

Mrs. Seto was standing in the door, watching the girl. "Shall I help you?", she asked.

"Jun shook her head and answered in a hoarse voice: "No. No, I can do that alone. It's...I think I have to do it."
Although the girl herself didn't really know why she had to do it, the woman seemed to understand.

A small framed picture caught her attention, and she took it in her hands. It showed herself at the age of eleven and her brother, also younger. They were both smiling, two wide laughing kids with ice-cream in their faces and on their clothes. So happy, so free....what had happened? Why? Why her brother? Why Daisuke?

He didn't earn that. She didn't earn that. He had been such a cheerful kid, stupid at times, annoying and thick-headed, but nonetheless lovely.

"Why?", she whispered and felt a tear trickle down her cheek.

A supporting hand reached to touch her shoulder. "Nobody can answer that question.", came the soft voice of the social worker.

"But he didn't earn that...", Jun continued without looking at the woman.

"Nobody does. And nobody can understand it. Such things happen. It's sad and unforgivable, but they happen, sometimes even to people we love and care for. We can just try and help as good as possible."

Mrs.Seto gazed to the image. "Sometimes the life seems to be full of sadness. Rain. Grey. Death. Sorrow. But it continues. Life. It never stops. And because it never stops, we can never give up hope. We aren't allowed to give up hope, because as long as the world is turning, there's hope...it now depends on all of us; you, your brother, his friends, the doctors and me..."

Jun nodded, "I know." How often had she said that? I know...she knew it, of course. She knew that it was right. Bur her feelings didn't change...never....and everything seemed to be sad.
She put the picture away, placing it carefully into the bag. "I think I'm ready."

The girl stood up and took the bag in her arms, hugging it like a teddy. "Can we visit Daisuke before I go to the orphanage?", she asked with pleading eyes. "I have to tell him that I won't sleep in his room anymore....even if he doesn't hear me."

Mrs.Seto smiled. "I'm sure that he can hear you - somehow. He's not deaf. And of course you can visit him."


There was this shadow. Dark. Big. Frightening. It had a face, but he didn't want to see it. He knew the face. He had trusted the face. And it had betrayed him. He didn't want to be betrayed again...

They weren't leaving him in peace. The voices. The people. The evil people. It was scary. Sometimes he saw them. Just shadows. Some bigger, some smaller. He heard them. Their voices. Speaking words he didn't want to understand. Telling him things he didn't want to hear.

He just wanted to go away. He didn't want to go back. just staying. Here. Warm. Peaceful. Silent. No Pain. Never feeling pain again. Why leaving?
Outside were evil people. People hurt. People screamed. People caused pain. He remembered. Remembered scenes. Saw images. Just shadows, but enough to scare him.
Life was pain. Just pain.

He had felt enough pain. Pain meant suffering. And he didn't want it. To suffer. He just wanted to stay...to stay....in peace...

To be continued....