Notes: I'm still amongst the living, only that you know. And I didn't abandon the story. I just...take my time^^ Thanks for the many reviews I received, you guys really encourage me to continue writing this...I know that Davis has to suffer a lot, and there's still no improvement in this chapter, but I hope it will come...sometimes...

Again I have to thank my beta-reader Icelightning. She corrected many of my silly mistakes and is constantly trying to teach me the correct way of using quotations, semi-colons and commas(because the German rules are different). Although I always forget these rules when I am writing...sorry, Ice^^ Anyway, I would be lost without you, so...thanks!

Broken Wings

by Kaeera


Part Four: Shattered Memories


"Hello Daisuke.", Jun whispered and entered the hospital room. Her little brother didn't reply. His empty gaze frightened her, and she wondered again if there was any chance that the old Davis, the Davis she had lost so long ago, would ever return.

Slowly she sat down and took his limp hand into hers. "The weather is good today.", she told him, a sad smile on her lips. "I wish you could see it. The sun is shining, and it's warm, and the birds are singing...in the park the kids are playing soccer, they ran into me when I walked here. They didn't even notice me, as exciting as their game was. And I don't live at home anymore. I moved into this orphanage, yesterday. It's not that bad, really. I share my room with another girl, Kathryn, who's one year younger than me. She's nice. I like her. But I wish that you would be there, with me...because...I miss you..."

The boy just continued to stare and didn't reply. But Jun knew that he could hear her. She knew it with her heart. And she was determined to get him back, to wake him up. To make him laugh again.

"I know that I can't understand what you are feeling. I mean, he beat me, too, but it was never like yours...and all my bubbling here won't help you, that's for sure. I want to help you, but I don't know how. The only thing I can do is to tell you that there are still people who love you...who trust you and who want you back. That's me, and all your friends - you have many friends, more than me, and they are all worried and visit you regularly."

She suddenly stopped and looked at the window. There a small bird had landed and was now chirping softly. "Look.", Jun smiled. "The bird. It's talking to you. Don't you want to reply?", her gaze shifted towards the lifeless form of her brother. She inched closer, with the only result that he suddenly backed away with an expression of fear in his eyes. Jun sighed. He had made progress, true, for now she could take his hand without him screaming and panicking, but that was all...she couldn't hug him, and if someone made a sudden movement, he would panic.

"It's okay.", she murmured in a soothing voice. "It's just me. Nobody will hurt you. Father is away. Father will never come again. He's in jail."

The frightened look started to disappear, but he had taken his hand out of her grip and wouldn't let her hold it again. "Daisuke...", his sister pleaded. "Let me help you. Talk with me. Talk with someone. Just open your mouth and...and...speak to me...", her voice trailed off. "I miss hearing you..."

It was hopeless. Daisuke wouldn't reply, whatever Jun tried to do. She had talked with the nurse, had talked with the doctor, and everybody had told her that Daisuke was in a traumatic state, in a shock and that he needed to wake up, to face reality. But....it never happened! He was...lost...

FLASHBACK


"Stop crying, Davis, please stop crying.", Jun pleaded and hugged her younger brother. "It will be okay, just calm down, it will be okay..."

"He beat me," was the muffled reply. Daisuke clung at his sister and looked up at her with big, sad eyes. "He beat me. He beat me in the face..."
Jun could see the red mark on his cheek, the blood running down from his nose, and felt anger dwell in her. Why had father done it? Sure, Daisuke had done something stupid, and maybe he even deserved a kind of detention, but this was...cruel...

"He was just angry.", the girl explained, but didn't believe it herself.

"I-It hurts..."

"I know. I know, Davis. It will pass away. It will stop." She felt hot tears in her own eyes, but was afraid to show them. "He was being mean..."

"It's my fault, not?"

At first Jun thought that she had heard wrong, but when she looked at her brother, she saw the fear in his eyes, and realized that he had actually meant what he said. "No, of course not!", she answered forcefully. Why did the boy think such...stupid things?

"But...but he says that I deserved it! He says that it's my fault, because I am a failure, because I'm weak and...and...if I would be stronger, this wouldn't happening, then he would be proud of me..."

"But Davis..."

He crawled backwards, freeing himself out of her embrace, and sniffed. The girl didn't know what to say, he seemed to be convinced that it was HIS fault when this bastard hit him...

"Davis, none of this is your fault! You've done nothing wrong, you're a great kid! Maybe you are a little bit loud, but you have a caring heart, and everybody likes you. It's Father's fault; he's a sick bastard and I think he likes the feeling of power he has over you..."

"NO!", the answer was cried and Jun blinked. "It's just me, like always! It's always me! I am the stupid one! I am too weak! I can't manage anything! I am a failure! A good son wouldn't deserve beatings, and no father would hit a good son. It's because I am bad! It's because of me!"

He was crying now, tears cascading down his face as he rocked back and forth. No matter what Jun said, it didn't calm him down, and he didn't believe her words She finally let out a frustrated sigh, giving up...



He didn't like this. No, he didn't like this at all. It wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be here, he was supposed to help his partner and friend...
Veemon sighed in frustration and sat down on a stone. There was no way out of the Digital World without a D3; he was stuck. He was stuck while Davis was probably suffering and hurting....something bad had happened, he knew it. He felt it! A few days ago Davis had sent him here, despite his protest, telling him that it would be the best for both. Veemon doubted this. He could have protected the boy from his abusive father, could have just digivolved and thrown the man out of the window. But Davis had always refused, and didn't permit him to tell anyone about this.

Although Veemon hadn't liked it, he had to made this promise. And the blue digimon usually kept promises.

However, now he was here, knowing that something had happened to his partner and there was no way to help him. He had already tried to contact Davis or another digidestined with the TV, but it hadn't worked.

Great. Really great. The small creature let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on the ground. He was so...worried! And he hated being worried!

"Veemon?"

Hey...somebody had called him! His head shot up and he looked frantically around, believing that he had imagined it, but then he saw two familiar, human-like figures strolling through the shadows.

"Hello?", he asked uncertainly.

"Veemon!", the figures turned around and began to walk towards him. When they came closer, Veemon could see a girl with long, violet hair.

"Miyako?", he blinked.

The girl waved at him. "We were searching for you!" A look of relief crossed her face.

Ken appeared behind her. "Davis needs you.", he seriously told the blue digimon. Veemon nodded. "I know. But there was no way to go back to him. Can you guys give me a lift?"

"Sure.", Miyako grinned. "And we will tell you everything on our way. Let's go."

Jun shouldered her backpack and climbed up the stairs to her new home. The orphanage was an old and big house, and the children lived together in rooms of two or three people. With a deep sigh she entered the tiny room directly under the roof and let herself fall on the bed.

"Bad day, huh?", a girl with short blonde hair asked.

Jun just nodded. "He's still not talking."

Kathryn, her blonde roommate, sat down beside her. "I'm sure it will get better," she said in a reassuring tone. Although the two girls had known each other for maybe two days, they had immediately become friends, especially after Jun had spilled her guts in the first night, because she couldn't suppress her sobbing and Kathryn had asked her what was wrong.

"Maybe...maybe, but it's all I get as an answer!" Jun sighed. "And every time I visit him he's looking at me with these empty eyes, and I so want to hug him and hold him in my arms, but he backs away...."

They both fell silent. After a while Kathryn smiled a bit and looked at Jun. "Ya know, I have only known you for a few days, and I am maybe not the right person to say something, since I have never seen your brother, but I think that you both can manage this. You are strong, I see it in your eyes. And if your brother has the same strength, he will recover. And he will start talking again."

"Yeah...maybe...thanks, Kathryn."

"No prob."

"He hates me Jun, right? He hates me because I am a failure! He punishes me because I deserve it! I don't want to be a failure, Jun, I don't want to be punished...what can I do? What can I do? It hurts so much...."

Suddenly she felt the bitter hatred again, hatred for the man who had destroyed their life and who had actually managed it to make Daisuke think that all this had been his fault. It didn't matter what the girl had said in the past; he had never listened to her, had insisted that it must have been his fault - that his father was acting so cruel because of him being a failure.

Stupid, stupid world...he's a kid. I'm a kid. Things like that shouldn't happen. To no one. Why? Why our family? Why our father?

He was nice when we were kids. I loved him. And now...now I hate him; now I wish that he had never existed! That's not right...children are supposed to love their parents.

How can I love someone who stole my brother? Tell me...how can I love someone who made my brother cry?

I hate him. I hate him! I hate this! I hate the orphanage, I hate the hospital, I hate my parents. I hate destiny, because it allowed this to happen, and I just wish that everything had never happened...damn....

"He was...stabbed?", Veemon paled. "No...", whispered the small digimon. "He was hurt...and I wasn't there to protect him, I let him down..."

"It's not your fault," Miyako said in a reassuring tone. "After all, he sent you here. There was no way that you could have helped him. The one and only to blame is his father!"

"Stupid jerk!"

"Did you know about it?", Hawkmon wanted to know.

Veemon nodded miserably. "All the time. And I always wished being able to tell you, but Davis didn't permit it. He was so frightened that his father would punish him even more if he found out..."

They were walking towards the meeting point. Ken had already contacted the others that they had found Veemon and that everybody should come back.

"It must have been terrible...", Wormmon, sitting on Ken's shoulder, looked down on his blue friend who was marching through the high grass with a gloomy look on his face.

"It was."

Ken sighed. "Well, maybe you can manage it to make Davis speak. He isn't answering our questions, he's like...well...far away, as if he can't hear us. And when you try to touch him, he freaks out and is frightened like hell! I mean...he doesn't even recognise that we are his friends..."

"Are human parents always like that?", Veemon looked at Ken. "Do they always cause that much pain?"

"No!", the former digimon kaizer blinked. "Most parents are really nice, and they never beat their children! But sometimes...sometimes people get kids who should have never been allowed to have some, and then the children suffer. It's an exception, though, how I said, most parents love their children."

"But when they do it, why do they do it? Because their children are bad?"

"No...no, it's not the fault of the child. Some people enjoy violence, they are like a bad digimon, they like seeing others in pain. Others have had a terrible life on their own and don't want to see someone else lucky, they are bitter and...well, actually I never could really understand why there are people who do such terrible things on a regular basis."

The blue creature sniffed. "Davis...Davis always said that his father beat him because he was a failure. That it was his fault. And that he had to deserve the punishment."

Miyako stared at Veemon. "He actually believed that? Oh my...nobody deserves such a punishment, nobody! And especially not Daisuke. I mean, he wasn't a failure, was he?"

Veemon nodded miserably. "That's what I told him, but he never believed me. He just continued to cry. Jun always said the same, but he didn't listen to her, either. He always believed his father, although he was being the sick bastard he is. It's so illogical, and yet it's true..."

"Veemon, it has to be my fault, after all every parent loves his children, so there must be something with me that's wrong, that makes him mean...."

The girl shook her head. "It's so...sad! And all this happened while we didn't notice anything! What nice friends we are! Man, somehow we have to convince him that it ISN'T his fault, that he isn't a failure...", she stormed through the grass, a sudden anger in her heart. She was angry about herself, about the world and especially about Mr. Motomiya, the cause of all their problems.

"There's the meeting point!", Ken told them and pointed to a far away TV. Some people were already standing there and looking their direction. They were waving at them and Miyako waved back.

"Let's go home and help Daisuke!"


They were always there. In his room. The voices. And the people. They disturbed him. They tried to talk with him. And sometimes they tried to touch him. He didn't like that. He didn't like being touched, because then the pictures came to haunt him. He would remember these burning eyes, the hands with the knife and all the red liquid on the floor...and the pain, the incredible pain.

Let me in peace...

He saw the room. He was in the room. It was mostly white, the room. With a wooden cupboard. And some things he didn't know. And a window. Outside of the window was the sky. The blue sky. Sometimes he watched it. But he didn't see the sky, instead he saw...memories. Which he didn't want. So he looked away. But the memories were always there! They were following him!

let me escape...

The people never stopped talking with him. He didn't understand them, didn't want to understand them. Sometimes, though, a word or two came through his barrier and made him shudder. Because memories flooded his mind with every word. Sometimes - rarely, but it happened - the memories were nice. But most of the time they weren't....and he was afraid.

let me fly away....

"How dare you to come home with such a bad result? Huh? You've failed this damn test! How stupid are you? Is there anything in your head beside your soccer?"

let me spread my wings and escape...

"Why are you crying? Because I hit you? Does it hurt? I hope it does, because it's supposed to hurt!! And stop staring at me like that! It's your own fault, you're a failure, it's a pity that you're MY son...here, take this! Weakling! Look at you, crying like a baby!"

let me rest in peace...

"You know what? I can't take it anymore! Everyone is picking on me in business, and added to that I have an useless son like you, a failure who can't do anything. I wish you had never been born, you bastard! You stupid bastard! Are you afraid of me? Are you trying to run away? What? Because I am holding a knife? Are you frightened, son? You'd better be...Oh, backing away from your father? And crying...like always, huh? Can't you fight for once? You are weak, too weak, Daisuke...you have to become stronger if you want to survive...the knife is nice, isn't it? It will be even nicer when it's covered...with your blood!"

let me run away don't let me see the past let me fly away I want to spread my wings I wan to escape I don't want to bear the pain I don't want to see his face...

leave me...

leave...

me...

alone...


"Let's call Jun.", was the first Hikari said when the Digidestined had finally travelled back to the real world, with Veemon accompanying them. "She can help us to find a way to sneak Veemon into the hospital."

Tai looked at his friends. "Does anyone have the number of her cellphone?"

"Yes, I do.", was Matt's answer and he took out his own cellphone.

TK seemed to be surprised. "Why do you have it, if I may ask? I thought you couldn't stand her!"

"I can't, but she took my cellphone and programmed her number into it; I kinda forgot to delete it, so it's still there!"

"Well, then call her.", Tai advised. "And everyone else can go home, I guess."

"Promise to call us when his condition changes.", Joe said.

"I will."

The kids left Koushiro's home and went on the streets, then Matt dialed Jun's number.

"Yeah.", came the tired voice out of the phone.

"Jun? It's me, Matt. Uhm..."

"Matt? Why are you calling me?" This wasn't right. Usually Jun would have squealed and giggled, but now she sounded so...uncaring...

"Well, I and the others, we were in the Digital World, we found Veemon and thought that maybe he could help your brother a little bit...ya know...after all they are best friends and so on..."

"It could be...", came the hesitant answer.

"But it could be difficult to go into the hospital with him, and since we are 'only' friends, we can't see him that often, so we wanted to ask you..."

"I understand.", he could actually hear a small smile in her voice. "Then let's meet somewhere...I'm at the orphanage at the moment, where are you?"

"Uh...do you think we could meet at the hospital?"

"Deal. I'll go there immediately." A soft click told him that she had stopped their conversation without even bothering to say 'Goodbye'.

"Strange...", mumbled Matt and looked at his phone.

"What did she say?", Ken wanted to know. Only he, TK, Hikari, Matt, and Tai were left from the group, standing in a small circle on the street.

"She'll come to the hospital immediately. She's at the orphanage right now.", a look of pity crossed his face. "Imagine; at the orphanage! I mean...that's so cruel...being in a place with other homeless children, while your brother is lying in the hospital and your parents are in prison.", he gazed at TK. What if something like that had happened to him and his brother? What if it had been him who had to live in an orphanage, and TK being in the hospital, withdrawn, apathetic, hurt?

"It's incredible, huh?", Tai said softly. "Ya never believe that things like that could happen to a friend of you..."

Ken looked away. He could still see the scene clear in his mind; a motionless Daisuke lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. Or the fragile boy in the hospital bed, with this distant look on his face and his tendency to curl up and to hide.

"Let's go." Matt commanded harshly and turned away, not wanting to show the feelings he was experiencing right now.

The small group silently made their way towards the hospital, Hikari carrying Veemon in her arms. The blue digimon was feeling quite anxious; after what the others had told him, his Daisuke was a totally different person, not the cheerful boy he used to be...although he had known that for a long time, since the first time Davis' father had raised his hand against his child. But the boy had always managed to stand up and to continue living, because he had always had the will to live...which had now, so it seemed, mystically disappeared.

Broken Wings

White feathers flying around

Darkening the sun

Broken Wings

Were meant to fly

Were meant to discover

Now remaining on the ground forever

Darkness overwhelming

Jun waited impatiently at the front door and let out a relieved sigh when she saw the five people she had been waiting for approaching. "Over here!" she waved and the others walked towards the tall girl. She immediately recognised Veemon in Hikari's arms. "Veemon!", she shouted, relieved, and threw out her arms to hug the digimon.

"Hello Jun!", Veemon cracked a small smile. "How are ya?"

"Things could be better, but well, I guess I have to live with that. I have a nice roommate back at the orphanage."

"Orphanage?", the digimon was confused. "What's that?"

"Ah...it's a place for children who have no parents. And since my parents are in jail, I have to live there, 'cause I am too young to live on my own.", Jun shrugged.

"Does Daisuke have to live there, too?"

"Well, maybe...when he gets better...I really don't know..."

The girl noticed how uncomfortable the others looked, and quickly changed the topic. "Well, but it's none of your business, we should better try to sneak you in now! Davis needs you, I think!"

Veemon agreed and Jun motioned him to climb in his backpack. "I can take one person of you with you....more isn't allowed. I think it's up to you who will go. Or I'll go alone, I mean, it's not given that Veemon can do something, so it'll probably be like a normal visit..."

"Ken should go.", Tai suggested. "He's Daisuke's best friend."

The blue haired boy looked at the others and saw just agreement in their faces, then he nodded. "Okay."


Voices calling for you
in the dark depths of your mind
following you everywhere
Memories haunting you
making you cry
closing your eyes
not wanting to hear it
not wanting to see it
but it doesn't stop

it never will....


Hospitals. Jun didn't like them. No, she didn't like them at all. She had always been very healthy and had never been in there, as far as she remembered. The girl hated the smell of the rooms, the smell of sickness and death, and she hated the people there: sick people who looked at you with this empty gaze. Maybe it was just because she was feeling depressed; maybe there were nice things at a hospital, but she definitely couldn't see them.

She walked through the hallway, followed by a silent Ken. Veemon was moving in her backpack. Poor Digimon. They all trusted him to get through to Davis, but what if he didn't? What if Davis stayed like that? Forever?
She had been told to keep hope. She had been told to trust her brother. But every time Jun looked into his eyes, she found it extremely difficult to do so.

With a soft 'click' the door opened and revealed the gloomy room in which Daisuke had spent his time since the incident. Incident...what a cold, cruel word to describe what had happened...

"Hello Davis.", Jun greeted him, like she did it every time. "I brought you a friend." She motioned Ken to close the door and put down her backpack. Veemon hopped out of it and walked towards the bed, eyes locked on the fragile boy.

"Hiya, buddy! It's me, Veemon!", he looked up to his friend, smiling, but his face fell when he saw into Daisuke's eyes. The small digimon had known his partner for such a long time, and there had always been one significant thing about his friend: he had this special sparkle in his eyes which would never get lost. But now his eyes were dull and lifeless, still brown as they always had been, but, well, dead....

He noticed the pale face, the skinny body and the bandage wrapped around his chest. Numerous bruises covered his whole body. Tears welled up in Veemon's eyes and he wanted nothing more than to cry. No! He had to be strong! He had to help his friend!

"Ya know, they went to the digital world and searched for me.", he started to explain. "Ken, Hikari, Miyako and all the others, even Tai and Matt! It wasn't nice of you to send me there, I could have helped you! I wanted to help you! I know you did it because you were afraid, but...Davis, won't you speak to me?"

His partner didn't even look at him, and Veemon sighed, turning back towards Jun. "Why is he like that?"

"Apathetic?", Jun shrugged. "Withdrawn? It's kind of a try to escape; when something too terrible happens, too terrible to bear, the mind just shuts down and tries to hide, because it doesn't want to face the memories. Maybe Davis is hiding because he doesn't want to live with the fact that his father hated and stabbed him." She looked out of the window and added as an afterthought: "Or that's what the doctors are saying."

"What do you mean with that?" Ken wanted to know.

"You see...I personally think that that's only half of the reasons. Perhaps he's afraid of something....I really can't tell. He won't answer to me when I ask."

let me in peace...
let me fly away...
let me escape...

"He has to answer!", Veemon suddenly shouted, determined. "I will bring him back! He has to come back! And he will! He was always strong, stronger than the rest of us, he can manage this, too.", the digimon turned around and took the hand of his partner. "Do you hear that? I know that you can do it! I know that you are stronger than that! You can come back, to me and to your friends, and you can live again..."

To be continued...

Yeah, and you probably all want to kill me right now, because I'm leaving you like that -.- I can't change it, I had to stop somewhere. And I won't make any promises like 'I'll try to write faster', because I know for sure that I won't be able to keep them. I'm going to an exchange, I have orchestra practise and I have to study a lot for school. However, I can promise that I will continue this!

Settiai - I hope you don't mind that I didn't sent you this chapter. Ice is a good friend of me, and she's really a great help, being an excellent author. And my mails never reach you...

Firecat - Do you mean 'Würzburg'? Funny that you English people can't spell/pronounce the names of German cities. No, I have never been there. I live in the south, near to Bavaria and Munich. And no, we don't wear dirndls all the time and drink beer^^ (I deal with such prejudices so often, it's not even funny anymore!)

Hope I didn't leave you sobbing again...I know that it's sad, but child abuse isn't a nice thing and the way of recovery is long. And don't forget to review! I love to hear from you, and feedback is the only payment of a writer^^