Okay, this is the revised version of this chapter....there are still a few parts I don't like, but at least I could delet the most mistakes with the help of some people who were so nice to beta. Thank you, guys!
Another note: I might be mixing up soccer and football, but I always mean the same. It's just because we have to learn British and American English in school and I tend to mix those, which of course isn't very good.
Broken Wings
by Kaeera
Chapter Nine: Runaway on a soccer field
She just stared at the empty room, mouth hanging open in wide surprise, a mixture of shock and worry crossing her normally so happy features. She had been in school this morning, like she had been for the last week, but this day was different from all the others. Daisuke wasn't there.
He just wasn't there!
Rubbing her eyes as if trying to make it go away, the girl entered slowly the room which had become a second home of her brother over the last days. Nearly two weeks had passed since the faithful incident, and Davis was getting better, although the progress was very slow and barely visible to a normal person. With the help of his sister and his friends he had been able to walk over the corridor without freaking out and he even went into hospital's park.
As Jun had asked what he thought about her going back to school, he just smiled this tiny smile and nodded, telling her that at least she should live as normally as possible. Relieved by this response, the girl had left the next morning, going back to her old class. There had been quite a few rumours about her absence, but surprisingly nobody said anything bad about her behind her back, and she enjoyed the few hours of normality she could get there.
And now Daisuke wasn't there. But he was supposed to. He was supposed to sit in his hospital room, reading a book, watching TV or just staring out of the window, which he had done very often during the last time. However, the room was empty. No Daisuke.
"Davis?" she called softly, although she knew that it didn't make sense. If she didn't see him, he had to be somewhere else. Trying not to panic, she left the room and looked down the corridor.
Maybe he just went to the toilet, or went for a walk...No reason for over-reacting.
In the distance she could hear the soft sound of rain, which was splashing down on the room. It was impossible to go out without getting soaking wet – that meant that Davis hadn't went outside, at least not for a simple walk. Jun slowly started to walk, looking into every room she passed. Unconsciously, her steps became faster, as she couldn't see the slightest sign of her brother.
"No, no, no,!" she whispered, on the verge of tears. "This is all my fault; if I had stayed with him...if I...if I had just done something..."
Rounding another corner, she didn't watch where she was going – and promptly ran into another person. Jun stumbled backwards, wincing slightly. "I-I'm sorry," she stuttered and looked up, only to see the face of Taichi Kamiya, a worried frown on his normally so even features.
"Jun?" the boy asked worriedly. Behind him, Kari looked confused at her, accompanied by Miyako and Ken. "Is something wrong?"
She just sat there, staring at him. Then, after a while of uncomfortable silence, the Motomiya sibling finally found her voice again.
"It's Davis – I can't find him!" Jun leaned against the wall for support and closed her eyes. "I came back from school and went to see him, like I did every afternoon those last days, but he wasn't in his room. I searched for him, but he isn't in the cafeteria, and nobody has seen him!"
The frown on the Taichi's face increased. "You don't think that he has run away, do you?"
"That's exactly what I think," she whispered, looking out of the window. "That's what I'm afraid of..."
"I hope he doesn't do something stupid," Kari said, paling visibly.
"Now, don't panic," Taichi calmed down. "We don't even know if he's really run away. I say we split up in groups and search the hospital. He's probably just walking around somewhere and lost track of time; I mean, you know Daisuke. He usually doesn't run away..." His voice trailed off as he remembered the fact that he really couldn't say that anybody of them *knew* Daisuke, because nobody did. Not after what had happened.
"Let's meet in half an hour," He decided, covering up his insecurity, "We'll all take a separate floor and work our way around the entire building. Let's go!"
They departed, Jun still sniffling. She knew that they wouldn't find him...it was such a feeling deep in her heart which told her that Daisuke had really run away, and they should search him outside. Besides, the doctor had warned them that something like that might happen. All the emotions were piling up on Daisuke, and it had to come to an outburst one day. How had she said it?
"...and this outburst might decide over the future of your brother, Miss Jun. He will feel left alone, afraid and not like himself anymore, and it lies in your hands to convince him that he still has something to live for. It can help him, or it can destroy every step we made so far. We never know before..."
He ran blindly through the rain, his feet splashing on the ground, but he didn't mind. He was only wearing a T-shirt which barely hid the bandages that were still covering his upper body, and the cheap sports shoes which were already soaked with water. The cold wind bit through his wet shirt, making his thin body shudder with cold.
Daisuke had no idea where he was heading to, nor did he care for it. He just ran, his mind concentrating on the task of setting one foot behind the other without falling.
Why was he running? He couldn't remember. It just seemed important – to run. Back in the hospital, the walls of his room had suddenly started to become threatening, resembling more and more a prison with every minute that passed. The urge to leave had grown, until Daisuke had been unable to stay there any longer. He wanted to be outside, he wanted to feel the air, and he wanted to be....free...
And above all, he wanted to be himself again.
So he had sneaked out of the white building, carefully making sure that nobody saw him. And now he was here, running through the rain.
The padding of his feet was the only sound audible, with the exception of an occasional car passing by. Nobody wanted to be out there in this heavy rain.
His chest was heaving and his fast steps were slowing down, as he stumbled over the street. Daisuke was growing tired from his run, because he wasn't exactly in the best of conditions. His wounds started hurting, a deep, nagging pain inside his skin.
The boy slowed down into a jogging pace, inhaling the wet air. His hair was sticking flat on his head, flattened by the water, unlike the usual mess he wore as a hairstyle.
Daisuke glanced down at the water, watched as each raindrop splashed on the wet, black surface of the asphalt, forming circles on the surface. Then he looked up, for the first time growing aware of his surroundings. He had run without bothering which path to take, and now Daisuke was quite surprised as he realised that he had automatically taken the route to a place which was more than familiar to him.
He stopped and looked over at the large field between the trees, not far away from the small street he was standing on. Between the skyscrapers of the city and the high buildings, this flat place was quite unusual.
Daisuke just stared, remembering this place. It was the soccer field his team usually practised on; not the school team, but the team he and Ken played in together in their free time. They were fairly good, and it had always been fun to be on this place and practise with the other guys.
He looked at his trembling hand. The old Daisuke had found it great to practice with the other guys, but he wasn't sure about the new one. "I know that I loved soccer," he whispered to no one in particular.
Slowly, he stepped down from the road, his shoes sinking into the mud. The soccer field was empty; the rain was too heavy to play in. Like in trance the boy walked on the field until he stood in the middle of it, his eyes fixed on the oh-so familiar white markings on the green grass. How often had he spent his time here? How often had he won – and lost? Countless times, and he had never stopped enjoying.
At least not until the thing with his father had started. Then it had merely become an escape, a place where he knew the man couldn't hurt him, and the only place where he could still be himself. And now?
Daisuke looked up at the sky, blinking as the raindrops splashed right into his eyes, but didn't move. He just stared at the grey, cloud-covered sky as it stretched above him, and the water which continued to fall down, confused.
Back then the weather had been similar, although the rain hadn't been as heavy as it was today. Cold wind was blowing over the place, and the field was covered in mud, as were the players. But they didn't care. They didn't care that they looked like wandering mud balls, their usual blue uniforms now covered with thick, brown mud. They didn't care that they slipped on the wet surface, and fell to the ground more than once. They didn't care about the cold either, because they were running around like mad and feeling pretty warm. It just didn't count, because they were having a match, and they wanted to win!
Every player was concentrated on the former white soccer ball, now resembling a brown stone, focusing on bringing the damn thing into the goal and score.
"Over here!" Tatsuki shouted, and waved excitedly.
Daisuke, who currently had the ball, glanced around and noticed that his friend and team-mate was free. Immediately he turned around, ducking away from the two players who wanted to take the ball and shot it towards the red-haired boy. Tatsuki's face lit up in a grin, although his mouth was barely visible under the dirty brown mud which covered his face.
Daisuke flashed him an equal grin and raced ahead. They were nearing the end of the game, and they were all exhausted. He could feel the tiredness creep up on him as the sweat run down his forehead, mingling with the raindrops. But he refused to stop, because they weren't leading yet, and he was determined to win this game.
Out of the corner of his eye he watched the ball while he ran ahead into the opponent's part of the field, swiftly moving around the opposing players.
Tatsuki was having some problems now, but Ken came to his help. He took the ball and distracted the opponents. Davis smiled slightly; it was great to be together in a team with his best friend. It was ways better than going against each other as opponents like they had done some time ago. Ken still had his excellent soccer abilities, showing agility with the ball others could only dream of.
He didn't even notice the rain anymore, although it splattered down in huge waves now, the wind splashing it against his face like thousands tiny little needles.
He hugged himself as the memory came to the surface and slowly sank on the ground, closing his eyes. A slight whimper escaped his lips – would he ever be able to be that happy again? To be totally engulfed in something that nothing else counted? To feel this excitement, this happiness and this....will while playing as a team, together?
Would he ever feel life like that again?
Daisuke ran a hand through his soaked hair. Those questions...couldn't they leave him in peace? Why had life to be so difficult? Why couldn't he just start living again? Why...he wanted it after all! Damn, he wanted to trust his friends, he wanted to be able to go out again and laugh, he wanted to be able to forget...and yet he couldn't.
What had the doctor said? "You can't forget", or something along those lines. 'You can't forget this, because it will always be burned in your mind. You can only suppress it, and that won't help you a bit. Maybe you will feel better for a few days or even months, but then the memories will grow, and some day they will crash down on you and destroy everything you have gained so far. No, Daisuke, your only way to forget is to deal with this, and you know that I'm right. I can see it in your eyes.'
Duh...easier said than done. He had to deal with it. Funny. But how?
Every time a memory came to the surface, it was a struggle, and every time he ended up crying, wishing desperately that he had never tried to remember. Images he never wanted to see again came back to haunt him, images of his father, of the knife, of the foul words ringing in his ears...
It happened so fast that he couldn't say later who had done what. He didn't think, just acted out of pure reflex and instinct – and it worked. Ken was running by his side, with the ball, and they dodged their opponents, moving easily around them, the perfect team. Although the ground was wet and slippery, Daisuke ran at full speed.
And then he was in front of the goal, and then he leaped up in the air in order to avoid the other boy, and then Ken shot the ball towards him and then his foot shot forward...he didn't even think about it, it was happening automatically. The ball connected with his foot and dashed away at high speed, while Daisuke landed back on his feet.
Or better, tried to land. He had too much energy and his shoes slipped on the wet surface, throwing his legs into the air so that he landed rather painfully on his back. It made a loud splashing sound, and he felt the sticky mud enter his ear. The boy groaned in disgust, blushing a bit. That certainly had looked utterly ridiculous – so typical him, to make a fool out of himself.
But nobody laughed – instead the cheering started. Confused, Daisuke looked up, trying to get the mud out of his hair, but realising that it really had no use.
"YOU SCORED!" screamed Tatsuki and jumped over to hug the startled boy. "WE'RE LEADING NOW, MAN!!!"
"Wha-..." stuttered Davis, as he was hugged by his team-mate.
"That was GREAT!" came another voice, and then another pair of arms flew around him. Daisuke, still somewhat baffled, only slowly realised that his rather awkward shot had obviously scored a point for them. Now his team was in the lead – and only five more minutes in the game!!
Slowly a grin started to spread over his face. "WOHOOO!" he yelled and jumped up, not bothering that he was covered in mud and soaked to the bones. "WE'RE GONNA WIN!"
His team cheered, and Daisuke beamed proudly. He could have hugged everyone and everything, but knew that he had to restrain himself, at least until the match was over...
A sad smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He had been happy back then, and they had actually won the game. The party they threw afterwards had been really marvellous, although Daisuke hadn't been able to stay very long, because he had to go home – to his father. Nonetheless this had been a day of happiness, and even the grumpy face of his father hadn't managed to destroy his triumphant feeling.
He turned around, his eyes wandering over the soccer field. So many memories – good and bad ones. His friends, his team, one unit...
Daisuke's gaze stopped as he saw a small, round object lying not far away. Slowly he walked nearer to it and recognised it as a ball. Not a soccer ball , because it was too small for that, but a cheap children's ball, like the kind you get in the supermarkets with nice little drawings on it.
The thing was covered in mud, like everything else, but one could still see the colourful painting through the brown surface. It was the only thing which had bright colours, compared to the grey sky and the green-brownish grass.
Daisuke hesitantly kneeled down in front of the small ball and took it in his hands. He traced along the material, wiping the mud away.
Then he stood up again, holding the ball in his hands as if he didn't know what to do with it.
Then, after a few endless minutes, a smile spread over his face. He started to kick the ball with his feet, balancing it on his knees, and tried all the tricks he had perfected during his time as active football player. Daisuke didn't know why he was doing this, but it was somehow.....satisfying.
A long time ago, there had been a boy who adored soccer. He would spend every free minute with practising, and every time he played, there would be a fire in his eyes, lighter than anything else.
But then the fire burned down, and the eyes stopped glowing, while the boy stopped playing soccer....
Ken didn't know why he was out here in the rain. Well, actually he did, but he didn't know where he was heading. Jun, who was following him, didn't seem to know, either – no surprise, after all, Ken had just grabbed her hand and dragged her out in this weather.
It had just been an idea – no, not even idea, more a feeling, a hunch. A feeling that Daisuke wasn't in the hospital: that he was at an entirely different place. And so he had snatched his jacket along with Jun and had ventured out in the rain.
"Where are we going?" the girl asked for the umpteenth time.
"Somewhere," Ken answered curtly, while blinking against the rain.
"Duh," Jun rolled her eyes. "I want to search for my brother, not run around in the rain!"
"We are searching! And believe me, Daisuke *is* out here in the rain! He won't stay in the hospital when he's bothered by something!"
"What makes you think that?"
"Because he always goes out when he's troubled. He hates being in narrow spaces then. At least that's what he told me once when I found him in a tree...."
"Right...I remember....but the city is huge! Do you know any particular place?"
"I have one in my mind, yes."
"Which one?"
"...."
"Come on, tell me, it's my brother after all, and I'm getting soaked as well." Jun started to get annoyed.
"I don't know," Ken's sounded slightly exaggerated. "I mean, it's just a feeling..."
The girl rolled her eyes once more and wiped the water out of her face – not that it had much use.
"Well, I hope he at least brought a jacket." she said, casting a worried glance at the sky. "Or he will catch pneumonia in this weather – his wounds are still healing after all!"
"Knowing Davis, he probably ran out in a T-shirt." the indigo-haired boy replied grumpily.
"You have a point there."
"I know."
"Now, Mastermind, care to tell me WHERE exactly we are HEADING?"
Ken threw his hands up in the air. "Alright, alright! I just thought about the park which is not far away from here, and since Davis always seems to seek nature when he has problems, this seemed like the most logical place to go."
Jun snorted. "And that was so difficult to tell? Men!" she rolled her eyes for a third time this day and then stormed off. "But I think you could be right – let's go!"
Ken gaped open-mouthed after her and shook his head. "Now I know here Daisuke's stubborn threat comes from..." he muttered and followed the tall girl. He shuddered slightly as a cold wind blew past them and pulled his jacket closer around his body.
Jun stormed blindly through the rain, not bothered by the cold. She was fuming, both of anger and of fear, and the girl just hoped that they would indeed find her brother soon – because she didn't want to lose him again. Yes. Again.
Back then, when she had discovered what had happened – when the hospital had called, when the message came that her father had been arrested because of attempted murder on his only son, she had thought that she had lost everything. Her family, her brother, her life.
Arriving in the hospital she had been relieved that her brother would pull through, that he wouldn't die. But the days after that were the hells, to be quite frank. Daisuke was always quiet…
A silent Davis? Her brother, not speaking at all, just resembling this fragile doll? She could almost feel how disturbed he was, how he was seeking for himself, not accepting any help. Jun had been so glad when he had finally started speaking again, firmly believing that this was an improvement and that it would go uphill from now.
She had been wrong. Obviously.
Damn it!
Her pace quickened, as an empty park came into sight. She and Ken had left without telling the others, who were probably now waiting patiently in the hospital. The 30 minutes were long over, but she didn't care, they could wait – Davis not.
"Here's the park," Jun murmured and stopped in her track, with the effect that Ken ran right into her back.
"Umph!" the genius made and glanced irritated at the Motomiya sibling.
"You really think he's there?" the girl asked, giving a damn about apologising.
Ken simply nodded, inwardly sighing. "I mean, I'm not sure, but I have such a feeling."
"Alright. Okay. We'll go." Jun started to walk again, followed by Ken. The two ventured into the green park, now wet with rain.
"Ken?" Jun asked absently while the wandered through the grass, occasionally glancing around and searching for a certain brown-haired boy. "You're Daisuke's best friend, aren't you?"
Surprised by this, he raised an eyebrow. "I used to believe that I was," he stated rather flatly, "But I'm not so sure anymore."
"Nobody of us is," she sighed, brushing through her long, wet hair. "You, after all, didn't know it, while I saw everyday what happened to my brother and didn't dare to stop it. I've heard you talking with Dr. Katashi, Ken. I know what she said. Uhm...and I'm really glad that Davis has friends like you."
"What are you trying to tell me, Jun?" Ken eyed her suspiciously.
"I...don't really know. I wanted to thank you, for being there for my brother. You and all the others. You're a great bunch of people, ya know. Never left him alone, even when he was in such a condition."
"He deserves it," the former Digimon Kaiser stated simply, "He would have done the same for any of us."
"Yeah." Jun smiled slightly. "I know. That's my brother! And what I wanted to say – I think he still trusts you, Ken."
"What?"
"He trusts you. He might be confused, he might not know who he is, or what happens to him, but you and the others are still in his heart – as friends."
"How do you know?"
A small grin spread over her face. "I saw him. I watched him while you were visiting him some days ago. The girl – what was her name? Hikari? – he used to have a crush on her, right? She still manages to bring this sparkle in his eyes, even though it's dimmed; but it's there. He seems to forget what's happening with him when you're there..."
Ken sighed. "Maybe, but he also...is so confused, and I never know what to say. He feels that he's changed and that he's not Daisuke anymore, that he's someone else."
Jun groaned. "Oh, right. He's afraid that everybody will leave him, and that's why he tries to isolate himself..."
"He hasn't learned that he is still the old Daisuke, only that his personality has....grown. He may have changed, but he didn't morph into a different personality. There are still some of his old character traits there, and we just need to coax them out."
"Character traits?" Jun looked confused. "Like what?"
Ken pondered for a moment, scratching his chin. "Like...uh...wait, let me think..." Then his face lit up as he saw a more than familiar figure on a soccer field not that far away.
"Like soccer, for example!" And he pointed over to the place.
Jun's eyes nearly bugged out, as she saw her brother. "Is he doing what I think he's doing?" she whispered.
"He is," Ken smiled, positively beaming. "He's playing soccer!"
Up and down, up and down, up and down...the ball bounced off his knees, flying through the air where he caught it with his foot. It was a quite interesting way to spend one's time – although it didn't seem like a very intelligent thing to do, it needed good hand-eye-coordination. It might look simple, but anyone who tried it has come to realise that it's indeed not always as easy as it looks.
He had practised for hours when he had been little, learning those little tricks which were wonderful to impress friends with – and to show off. To top it off, it improved his skills, his agility and his muscles. And it made fun. It never got boring, because he was always concentrating. Unlike school, he actually liked what he did and used ever part of his brain. Maybe he would have been better in school as well, if he didn't spend all his time in it sleeping and staring out of the window.
No. Wrong. Had spent all his time with sleeping and looking out of the window. For it was over. He wouldn't go to school ever again….he wouldn't sit in class and stare out of the window while the teacher told them something about the First World War. It was odd, but that thought made him sad.
Nonetheless Daisuke continued playing, his eyes fixed on the ball. He didn't notice the rain anymore, nor the cold – or the two approaching figures that ran to him, waving, over the soccer track.
"Davis!" somebody screamed, and he looked up, startled. The ball landed in the mud with a loud 'Splash' and rolled a few meters away. Daisuke regarded it sadly; he had been so good right now, if he hadn't been interrupted.
The two persons had reached him by now, panting heavily, and his eyes met theirs. He was rather surprised to find his sister and Ken there, both drenched and looking utterly soaked, shoes covered in mud. Oddly attached he realised that he was probably looking the same.
"Davis!" Jun shouted once more, her eyes gleaming. "What did you think? Running away like that, you had us all worried!!"
The boy blankly stared at her. Oh, right…the hospital. He had run away, now he remembered. He had forgotten about it while he had played, had forgotten the reason why he was out here, and...and he had nearly been happy. If they hadn't interrupted...
Anger started to grow in him, and he jerked his head away, refusing to meet his sister's gaze. "Whatever." he muttered, crossing his arms.
"Whatever?" the girl threw her hands in the air and glared at him. "Don't give me this 'I don't care' attitude! I was worried sick about you. Why didn't you say anything when you left? And why did you go out in weather like this?" She gesticulated to the sky, which was still covered with dark clouds and to the rain, pouring down on them.
"Because," was the one-word reply.
Jun took a deep breath and wanted to start another tirade, but Ken stopped her.
The indigo haired boy stepped forward and took the ball from the ground, not caring about how dirty it was. "You played?" he said, more a statement than a question.
Daisuke simply nodded, feeling a lump form in his throat. The only good thing about this rain was that nobody would see him crying if he did...
A small smile appeared on Ken's face as he held out the ball to his friend. "I knew it."
Davis looked up, as he heard the certainty and trust in the Ken's voice. "Knew what?" He inquired in his raspy voice.
"That you were wrong." Ken was grinning now, and Daisuke scowled.
"About what?"
"Do you remember what you said to me?"
The brown-haired boy shook his head, hugging his thin body. Now that he had stopped playing, he started to feel the cold again and shivered slightly.
Ken looked him right into the eye and repeated the words which had shocked him not so long time ago:
"You said to me: I don't even know who I am. I have lost myself! How can I ever live again if I have lost myself???'"
Jun gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, and Daisuke's eyes widened slightly. Then resignation crept on his features. "I was right with that."
"No, you weren't," he gently shook his head. "You're still yourself, you know. Even after what happened, you have still kept your old personality – at least part of it. You played football, Daisuke. And you didn't just play with the ball. You enjoyed it! I saw it in your eyes. You were so occupied that you didn't even hear us! And we weren't that silent..."
He opened his mouth in shock and closed it again. Ken could clearly see the confusion shining in his eyes, begging him for more, for reassurance that he was indeed not just an empty body without a soul.
"He's right, ya know," Jun added, her voice softer now. "You're always different when you played soccer. I mean, come on, it is your life! You practically live that sport! And there's still the same old energy that runs in your veins, the same old spirit, although it may be dampened."
"In order to live again, you must hold on something." Ken continued. "And damn, if you can't hold on your friends, then hold on something you know you love – like soccer!"
Daisuke slowly took the ball from Ken's outstretched hand and felt suddenly very tired. "I want to," he whispered exhausted, "I really want to trust...you. And me. But it's so damn difficult that I feel like crying all the time."
"But you don't have to cry alone." Jun said after a moment of silence, and that broke the damn. Tears welled up in the boy's eyes as he heard this simple statement, and his sister quickly hugged him as he searched for comfort he hadn't been able to ask for the last days.
"I'll be there for you," she whispered in his ear as he sobbed in her T-shirt. "We will all be there. No matter what."
To be continued....
Thank you guys a thousand times for the reviews!!! Gato Goddess, sorry no TK and Kari this time, but maybe in the next chapter. I want to end this soon, but I never know what my muses have planned.
And Ben, I have nothing against it when you set Liam on me....I would drug him and keep him as the sexy Irishman! *chuckles* So that threat doesn't help you!
Thanks to everybody else who has been reviewing - I read them all and they really keep me writing; without the reviews this story would have probably died by now!