She swears that the waves are getting closer, and maybe they are. I can
almost taste the salt that hides beneath their tumbling, white crowns and
drops of water spray against my face with taunting strokes. She's humming
something I can barely make out over the roaring of the waves. Doesn't
matter though, just the sound of her voice is enough to send me down into
the dizzy pits of depression once again. In about 10 hours I'll probably
never hear her hum again, or say my name.nothing. It will be silence and
that's the most unbearable thing about tonight. After years of hiding our
flirtation through scathing banter, after years of hiding my deep affection
for her with tidy suits and steady smiles, she's leaving. And we have
nothing to show for our relationship except for cases solved and criminals
locked away.
Not that that isn't something to be proud of, I mean, that was what brought us together and kept us together for so long. We're a great team, a brilliant team. Which is what is tearing me apart, she's leaving behind all this perfection for a man who can't even say psychoanalysis right.
I look at the side of her face with a slight pang of jealousy. The fact that he gets to kiss that skin every night and taste those lips is too much for me. I clench the sand in my hand, watching it slip through my fingers like that of an hourglass. And she's slipping too, so fast I can barely catch her, so fast she's already gone. She's just a shadow now, just a memory, and if I reach out and touch her..
Well I wouldn't dare. Not with the way she's looking at me now, after all that's been said. I brush back my hair and let out a sigh, watching my breath turn into smoke and disappear. She reaches out towards the empty sky, and I realize that she's pointing out a plane that's spelling out something in the air, a marriage proposal, how convenient. I nod my head, playing along with her distraction. Cause that's what this all is, a distraction. The beach lies ahead of us; a vast ocean of guilt lies inside of us, and..
Jesus she looks beautiful.
But that's not the point, the point is we can't do this anymore, can't keep pretending we don't know what's going on between us. Because if we do, if we pretend it isn't happening, I'll lose my mind. Not that I haven't already lost it.
She's talking. And she looks miserable; these are not good signs. I nod my head and keep staring at the ocean. Yes, it's getting closer, so close I can almost feel it lick at my feet. And yet we still haven't brought up what I've hoped we'd discuss. The kiss we shared about fifteen minutes ago. I've come to the decision that she's trying to erase it, and I can't let her do that. Everything I ever dreamed of lies in that kiss.
"You aren't even listening to me."
"Course I am," I reply, catching the end of her speech. "I think we should move, the water is getting closer and,"
"I really don't think you grasp how serious the situation is, how much things could be screwed up," She takes a deep breath and I focus on the buttons of my suit, and I can't help but wish that I had changed before."And my whole marriage is at stake."
"Right." I agree.
"Right what?" Damn. She looks expectantly, and I know she's testing me.
"Your marriage could fall apart."
"Because of that stupid kiss." Now I'm paying attention.
"Stupid?"
"What did you possibly think would happen? That if you kissed me I would suddenly change my mind?"
"No," I carve a hole in the sand with my fingers, poking its surface as the anger begins to flood through my veins. "Well yes."
"Bobby, sometimes you can be a real jackass." She stands up, brushing off her jacket and stuffing her feet into sandals. I should run after her, I've only got 9 more hours left with her. 9 more hours to convince her to stay.
After that, she's gone.
Not that that isn't something to be proud of, I mean, that was what brought us together and kept us together for so long. We're a great team, a brilliant team. Which is what is tearing me apart, she's leaving behind all this perfection for a man who can't even say psychoanalysis right.
I look at the side of her face with a slight pang of jealousy. The fact that he gets to kiss that skin every night and taste those lips is too much for me. I clench the sand in my hand, watching it slip through my fingers like that of an hourglass. And she's slipping too, so fast I can barely catch her, so fast she's already gone. She's just a shadow now, just a memory, and if I reach out and touch her..
Well I wouldn't dare. Not with the way she's looking at me now, after all that's been said. I brush back my hair and let out a sigh, watching my breath turn into smoke and disappear. She reaches out towards the empty sky, and I realize that she's pointing out a plane that's spelling out something in the air, a marriage proposal, how convenient. I nod my head, playing along with her distraction. Cause that's what this all is, a distraction. The beach lies ahead of us; a vast ocean of guilt lies inside of us, and..
Jesus she looks beautiful.
But that's not the point, the point is we can't do this anymore, can't keep pretending we don't know what's going on between us. Because if we do, if we pretend it isn't happening, I'll lose my mind. Not that I haven't already lost it.
She's talking. And she looks miserable; these are not good signs. I nod my head and keep staring at the ocean. Yes, it's getting closer, so close I can almost feel it lick at my feet. And yet we still haven't brought up what I've hoped we'd discuss. The kiss we shared about fifteen minutes ago. I've come to the decision that she's trying to erase it, and I can't let her do that. Everything I ever dreamed of lies in that kiss.
"You aren't even listening to me."
"Course I am," I reply, catching the end of her speech. "I think we should move, the water is getting closer and,"
"I really don't think you grasp how serious the situation is, how much things could be screwed up," She takes a deep breath and I focus on the buttons of my suit, and I can't help but wish that I had changed before."And my whole marriage is at stake."
"Right." I agree.
"Right what?" Damn. She looks expectantly, and I know she's testing me.
"Your marriage could fall apart."
"Because of that stupid kiss." Now I'm paying attention.
"Stupid?"
"What did you possibly think would happen? That if you kissed me I would suddenly change my mind?"
"No," I carve a hole in the sand with my fingers, poking its surface as the anger begins to flood through my veins. "Well yes."
"Bobby, sometimes you can be a real jackass." She stands up, brushing off her jacket and stuffing her feet into sandals. I should run after her, I've only got 9 more hours left with her. 9 more hours to convince her to stay.
After that, she's gone.