Tell Her This Currie Tell her not to go

I ain't holding on no more

Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time Tell her not to cry

I just got scared that's all

Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call Tell her the chips are down

I drank too much and shouted it aloud

Tell her something in my heart

Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd Tell her what was wrong

I sometimes think to much

But say nothing at all

And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall Tell her not to go

I ain't holding on no more

Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her Tell her something in my mind

Freezes up from time to time

The streetlight pours through the window and glides across her hair, leaving the rest of the car in curious shadows. I tap my fingers against the driving wheel in unison with the rain, keeping my eyes focused on the trails of drops that swim across the windshield. He's breathing along with the wind, just enough to remind me she's there, just enough to remind me that it is all going to end in a few hours. The clock keeps ticking, and ticking, and. I really want to kiss her, to taste her again. The way she keeps running her tongue over her lips, as if she knows I'm watching, it keeps gnawing at me. I swallow the lump in my throat that blocks my voice and turn my head towards her to catch her attention. It does, slowly she responds and all I want is this moment. Us staring at one another, time paused, and just the sound of the rain. Then her head moves back to the front and I know there's no way I can keep her. She's gone, she's his. All I can do now is send her my best wishes and give her a slap on the back. "I better drive you to the airport." I say, sticking the keys into the ignition. Her head snaps up and I'm met with wide eyes. Course she's surprised, she didn't think I'd give up so easy. "Well if you want," I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and press myself close. I want to inhale her, suck the life out of her, and live with her inside of me, and if I could make her stay. "Yes I think that would be best." But she won't let me, as far as I know she's already planning her life without me. She's retiring, becoming a mom. She says she's always wanted to have at least three children. Somehow I can't imagine her in anything but the work suits she wears. No, Alex Eames could never drive a minivan while carrying orange slices to soccer games. "Do you ever," I fidget with my watch. "Think about us?" "Us," The word rolls off her lips like acid. "What do you mean?" "Well, could you ever think of me as a husband?" "Goren," She lets out a sharp laugh, and shrugs. "Jesus." "I mean, have you ever even considered what life would be like had you chosen me?" I can see the answer. Her eyes grow cloudy and her mouth staggers with her response. Finally she takes a deep breath and spits it out. "No," I wince. "Never." And I turn the keys, letting the engine roar to life. That's all I wanted.

The planes keep roaring above us, interrupting every spurt of conversation we have. Not that it breaks up anything special, more like questions and answers. How you feeling? Do you like the food on the plane? Packed a sweater? And then we go back to taking deep breaths and prayers that we won't have to suffer much longer. The urge to kiss her is getting stronger; I can feel my head thump with the echo of my heart. I'm stepping closer, and closer. I don't know if she realizes it or not, if she does she's just too tired to prevent it. There's no chance she actually wants it to happen. Pretty soon we are close enough to embrace, and my hands go to the sides of her face. It's awkward, uncomfortable and yet it feels right. Like it should have been this way all along, and it would have been had my attempts been successful today. I press my lips against hers and relax. I pretend it is us getting married, us kissing in front of a church full of our friends, and I imagine coming home to her and my children, I imagine us making love at night, and falling asleep with her arms around me. Finally I pull away and find myself out of breath and numb, It's the first time I've never been able to think. She looks flushed and angry and just plain exhausted. And I can see, somewhere buried in al the rage, a hint of sadness. Maybe she thinks we could of worked out too, had we just realized what was in front of our faced all along. We don't say anything till we get to the gate. Saying goodbye to somebody really drags every inch of energy out of you. "Do you want me to stick around?" I ask. "No, he's coming in ten minutes. You shouldn't be here when he arrives." "Yeah," I scratch my head. "So I guess this is goodbye." She slowly nods her head, reaching out from behind the invisible line drawn between us to give a proper handshake. It seems too formal, after years of working together I can't believe this is what it has come down too. Without thinking I kiss her again, sucking one last breath out of her. When I pull away her eyes are still closed. "I'm not going to open them." She says calmly. "But," "I don't want to see you go. I don't want to cry and smear my mascara." "I love you." "I know." "Still don't love me?" She sighs. "Quit it Goren, we've done this already." I can't go, my legs won't budge. "Just tell me what you are feeling and I'll leave." "You are making this so hard." "Just tell me." Her eyes flutter open exposing tears that are about to fall. She's always been so tough and I almost gasp at the sight of her breaking. "Goren, you better go. He'll be here any minute and I don't want him to see you. I'll write, okay?" It's over. There are no more chances. My legs unlock and I can move. "Goodbye Alex." She closes her eyes and shuts me off, taking a shudder of a breath. "I love you Bobby." I keep walking, cause who knows what will happen if I turn around and face her. With every step I can hear her calling my name, but I'm imagining it. Maybe it's just the wind, maybe I'm going crazy. I wonder how the waves are today,