Title: Breaking Barriers - Part 1
Author: gemmapelle
Email: sugarglitterbabe@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Series: Breaking Barriers
Summary: Logan/Maries POV on events during X1/X2 and events after
the mission as the gradually realize how they feel about each other
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with
Marvel or Fox in any way, I do now own any of these
characters or events and never will Spoilers/Continuity: Major X2 Spoilers, follows X1/X2 storyline Author's Notes: Reviews and comments very welcome
It had been two weeks since the "event" at Alkali Lake as the kids had come to call it in hushed tones around the mansion and Logan still hadn't allowed himself to think about what had happened. Everything was just too raw and painful for him to deal with at the moment but it lingered, hovering at the edge of his thoughts trying to find a way through. The past two weeks had been a blur. The mansion had been anything but normal. For a school it had been awfully quiet, he thought wryly to himself. Hardly surprising though, considering the face that the kids whole sense of safety had gone out the window - government attack, Chuck and kids being kidnapped and finally Jeans' death.. "Don't go there, bub!", he muttered to himself and noticed that kid Jones giving him a strange look as he sat there flicking through the TV channels. Figuring that he should give the kid a break from his mutterings, Logan wandered out into the garden to think, grabbing a Molson from the secret stash in the fridge on the way. He was feeling confused, sad and very pissed. Chewing furiously on a cigar Logan raged another silent battle with himself. This was getting emotional and the Wolverine didn't do sensitivity. He was supposed to be on One-Eyes supersonic bike by now, tearing through the Canadian wilderness without a care in the world, leaving all his troubles behind him but he couldn't go.
A strange sense of loyalty had seemed to take hold of him since the attack. He had vowed to protect those kids from the government bastards who had ruthlessly attacked the mansion, the same bastards who were responsible for his fucked up sense of reality and he's be damned if he let that happen to some innocents. Christ, he was starting to sound like Cyke - he had to do something about that but at the moment he didn't care. The injustice of everything threatened to overwhelm him and he wanted to just throw back his head and howl, howl for how fucked up everything was, for what Jeannie had sacrificed for them, how people could be so cruel and for what he had found out about himself. Christ, they hadn't even been able to say goodbye to Jeannie properly, they had to hold a small private ceremony to say goodbye, and there wasn't even a grave to visit or anything. The ceremony itself had been pretty bad. Cyke had almost collapsed, it was only Chuck's presence of mind that had got him through it and it meant that Logan couldn't hurt, wasn't allowed to mourn Jean as a man because it wasn't his place. She hadn't chosen him; he had been sincere when he had told Cyke that, he thought. She had wanted the good guy not the bad one. He had realized that when he had found her leaning on One-Eye just before they ran out of the tunnels - the look she had given him said it all. He wouldn't have been able to give her what she had wanted though he would have liked to try. He knew that what he felt for her had run deeper than anything he had felt romantically before - he had felt a connection the moment he had met her and it ran both ways. Logan had experienced death before, "Christ - its not like I've never killed anyone" he thought to himself, but never on a level so personal.
Jean was one of two women who he cared deeply about and he had lost her and it hurt, not like the physical pain he relished and was accustomed to but deep down inside, something he had always avoided by avoiding people and relationships but Marie had changed all that. He hadn't talked to Marie since Alkali Lake - it was just too hard. He knew he was hurting her, anytime he saw her she looked at him with this questioning hurt in her eyes and he knew he was just adding to her pain over Jean. It was the last thing he wanted to do but he had fallen back to his usual form of alienation from others, building up barriers. He didn't want to let the barriers down again soon - it hurt too much. He had stuff to work out first. The past few weeks had made him afraid, afraid about how deeply he cared about a certain kid who wasn't a kid anymore and how it would affect his relationship with her and his lifestyle. Yet, here he was in Chuck's mansion when he should be on Cykes bike - he had changed already but he knew he was doing the right thing - he knew he had to do that - for once. He owed her that much. Logan finally allowed himself to think about how things had changed since he met Marie....
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with
Marvel or Fox in any way, I do now own any of these
characters or events and never will Spoilers/Continuity: Major X2 Spoilers, follows X1/X2 storyline Author's Notes: Reviews and comments very welcome
It had been two weeks since the "event" at Alkali Lake as the kids had come to call it in hushed tones around the mansion and Logan still hadn't allowed himself to think about what had happened. Everything was just too raw and painful for him to deal with at the moment but it lingered, hovering at the edge of his thoughts trying to find a way through. The past two weeks had been a blur. The mansion had been anything but normal. For a school it had been awfully quiet, he thought wryly to himself. Hardly surprising though, considering the face that the kids whole sense of safety had gone out the window - government attack, Chuck and kids being kidnapped and finally Jeans' death.. "Don't go there, bub!", he muttered to himself and noticed that kid Jones giving him a strange look as he sat there flicking through the TV channels. Figuring that he should give the kid a break from his mutterings, Logan wandered out into the garden to think, grabbing a Molson from the secret stash in the fridge on the way. He was feeling confused, sad and very pissed. Chewing furiously on a cigar Logan raged another silent battle with himself. This was getting emotional and the Wolverine didn't do sensitivity. He was supposed to be on One-Eyes supersonic bike by now, tearing through the Canadian wilderness without a care in the world, leaving all his troubles behind him but he couldn't go.
A strange sense of loyalty had seemed to take hold of him since the attack. He had vowed to protect those kids from the government bastards who had ruthlessly attacked the mansion, the same bastards who were responsible for his fucked up sense of reality and he's be damned if he let that happen to some innocents. Christ, he was starting to sound like Cyke - he had to do something about that but at the moment he didn't care. The injustice of everything threatened to overwhelm him and he wanted to just throw back his head and howl, howl for how fucked up everything was, for what Jeannie had sacrificed for them, how people could be so cruel and for what he had found out about himself. Christ, they hadn't even been able to say goodbye to Jeannie properly, they had to hold a small private ceremony to say goodbye, and there wasn't even a grave to visit or anything. The ceremony itself had been pretty bad. Cyke had almost collapsed, it was only Chuck's presence of mind that had got him through it and it meant that Logan couldn't hurt, wasn't allowed to mourn Jean as a man because it wasn't his place. She hadn't chosen him; he had been sincere when he had told Cyke that, he thought. She had wanted the good guy not the bad one. He had realized that when he had found her leaning on One-Eye just before they ran out of the tunnels - the look she had given him said it all. He wouldn't have been able to give her what she had wanted though he would have liked to try. He knew that what he felt for her had run deeper than anything he had felt romantically before - he had felt a connection the moment he had met her and it ran both ways. Logan had experienced death before, "Christ - its not like I've never killed anyone" he thought to himself, but never on a level so personal.
Jean was one of two women who he cared deeply about and he had lost her and it hurt, not like the physical pain he relished and was accustomed to but deep down inside, something he had always avoided by avoiding people and relationships but Marie had changed all that. He hadn't talked to Marie since Alkali Lake - it was just too hard. He knew he was hurting her, anytime he saw her she looked at him with this questioning hurt in her eyes and he knew he was just adding to her pain over Jean. It was the last thing he wanted to do but he had fallen back to his usual form of alienation from others, building up barriers. He didn't want to let the barriers down again soon - it hurt too much. He had stuff to work out first. The past few weeks had made him afraid, afraid about how deeply he cared about a certain kid who wasn't a kid anymore and how it would affect his relationship with her and his lifestyle. Yet, here he was in Chuck's mansion when he should be on Cykes bike - he had changed already but he knew he was doing the right thing - he knew he had to do that - for once. He owed her that much. Logan finally allowed himself to think about how things had changed since he met Marie....