Part IV - For Fear of My Weakness
Sirius stayed awake for many hours of the night, shielded in his four-poster bed by ruby coloured hangings. He sighed deeply and listened to the familiar noises of his three friends sleeping soundly about the dormitory. Hearing the deep, sleepy breathing of James in the bed next to his, Sirius hung his head in his hands, gripping tightly onto the hair at the back of his head.
He was furious with Lily Evans for what happened down in the empty classroom not that many hours ago. He didn't blame her completely for it, because he had to admit he'd been the bastard to fall into her trap, but hexing her until her end of days did sound fairly good right about now. Evans was such a prat, he'd fallen right into her obviously thought-out plan and he hated it. Not only did he hate this and just about everything else that was going through him including the guilt he held toward James, but he also hated one thing that felt forbidden to be within him.
Passion.
Perhaps it wasn't passion, perhaps it was lust, but there was something that made the guilt in his stomach surge to new found levels. He bit down unconsciously on his bottom lip and didn't release until he actually felt the physical pain of his teeth breaking the skin and the taste of his blood's iron on the tip of his tongue. He sighed and closed his eyes.
Immediately he pulled them open again; he'd been doing it all night - forcing his eyes to stay open, even with the threat of sleep creeping up over him. He hated what he saw every time his eyes closed. The silhouette of Evans in the classroom, the mischievous gleam to her jade eyes, the grin that pulled at her mouth, the Snitch glittering inbetween her fingers, her lips being brought down onto his. Sirius jolted and his breathing raced as he attempted to clear the thoughts from his mind. He had to get Lily out of his system - he had no other options and he didn't want any others. He wouldn't do that to James.
"Padfoot!" a voice barked, clearly and loudly, disturbing Sirius's state of sleep. "Get your lazy ass out of bed, classes start in twenty minutes."
Sirius threw his arm over his eyes as the curtains about his bed were pulled back and the rosy-gold rays of early morning sunshine poured over him. Slowly he pulled his arm away and glared at his best mate; James grinned and threw clothing at Sirius before leaving the dormitory.
A quick two minutes later Sirius found himself bounding out the portrait hole, following James, as he adjusted the tie that, for the moment, hung lazily around his neck.
"Let's go mate," James rushed in attempts to make Sirius quicken his pace, but it was to very little avail. "I'm not going to be late to class because you wanted to sleep in."
"No one asked you to wait around," Sirius growled, his eyes growing black as night as he felt the effects of sleep deprivation, hunger, quilt and a little something else rise in his senses. The two boys dodged out the front doors and down the steps toward the greenhouses. They were glad to see that as they arrived to stand with the rest of the class, Professor Sprout was just beginning to make her way over to them. Sirius and James sighed as Peter and Remus shook their heads and rolled their eyes at the pair.
"Black," Evans said in a quiet tone as Professor Sprout began her lecture to the students. Her green eyes flickered over to him, containing the look of enmity that she normally reserved him. The only thing that might have given her away from her usual act was the smile trying to pull at her lips, but Sirius doubted if anyone noticed, or if anyone cared.
He didn't say anything to her, merely gave a harsh glare, narrowing his charcoal eyes at her in a dangerous fashion. Raising a hand to his mouth, he covered an exaggerated yawn and became the receiving end of a jab in the ribs; his glare turned from Evans to James standing next to him.
"Save the sleep for Divination mate," James said with a light chuckle, grinning widely.
Sirius shook his head and watched as James's hand went into his pocket in search of the Snitch that, until recently, was always there. The Snitch. His eyes widened just as James's darkened, wondering where the small ball was. Everything in Sirius's brain locked as all thought returned to last night, returned to the Snitch that only he knew was there and returned to Lily Evans.
Daring a look over his shoulder, Sirius watched Lily grin, meaning it for him, but not looking directly at him. She, as James had just done, thrust her hand into a pocket and Sirius knew her fingers were coursing over the smooth surface of the Snitch.
Professor Sprout still babbled on about whatever plant she was talking about and most students were hurriedly taking notes or at least paying attention; Sirius Black wouldn't have even been able to tell you what the plant today's lesson was named. His mind was stuck on his present day situation.
Before finally succumbing to sleep last night he had assured himself that he would not be going back to room thirteen, James would just have to forget about that Snitch and do without. But now that he was thinking about it, and had seen the look on James's face, he was beginning to think otherwise. James needed that Snitch - damn superstitious git. Gryffindor played Hufflepuff in an extremely important game not this weekend but the next. This game would either keep Gryffindor neck-to-neck with Ravenclaw or pull them far into the lead, all depending on the point differentials. If James didn't have the Snitch he might just be in a slump and end up losing an easy-to-win game; Sirius needed to get him that lucky charm. Damn Evans, she had this whole situation wrapped perfectly around her finger.
The realisation that he was going back to that classroom tonight set Sirius in a bad mood for the rest of the day. He was mad with Evans, mad with himself, even mad with James for losing that Snitch to the girl. As the class returned to the castle from Herbology, Sirius scowled, his eyes dark and narrow, and his brow lowered.
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"What's the problem with you?" Peter's squeaky little voice spoke over the table and Sirius thought it was pure luck that he had been able to hear the question through the lunchtime squabble going on in the Great Hall.
James, who was still miffed at where his Snitch was, but was for the time assuming it to be upstairs in the dormitory, looked up from his food and grinned at Sirius. "Padfoot's a little upset because he had some sleeping problems last night." And here he took a lengthy pause, his grin vanishing and his eyes growing stern. "Mate, if you don't cheer up I'll bloody kill you myself."
Black eyes shot across the table and a low growl came from Sirius's throat. The grip he had on the fork was tighter than it should've been, his hand trembling with the pressure, and his eyes didn't blink as they held contact with James's.
"Sirius, relax," Remus spoke, putting a hand lightly on Sirius's shoulder. Slowly, after taking a deep breath, Sirius turned his head to look at the only Prefect of the lot and hid away his outrage for the time being; if only to please his three friends and hide the truth from them. "What happened to you last night?"
He'd avoided them and their questions about his whereabouts then and he wasn't about to start dishing out explanations to them now. He shrugged. "Nothing," he grumbled, doing a lousy job of hiding away his rage; he looked down to his empty plate, avoiding their wondering eyes.
Give it a rest, he told himself with another deep breath. You can't let them know about last night, it'd kill James. You're doing the shits of a job covering yourself mate.
Sirius put on a fake smile and looked first to Remus and then across the table to James and Peter. "Nothing happened guys, honest." He chuckled lightly, taking a deep drink from his goblet. "Honest," he repeated in a phony, but convincing way. He looked to James, exchanged a knowing look with his best mate and chuckled once again.
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"Now this is the class you can sleep in."
The four Gryffindors were making their way to the day's last class as James joked with Sirius. For the meantime it seemed as though James had put the Snitch from his mind and Sirius was thankful for it.
"And I will be," Sirius declared proudly, sharply nodding his head. "Any of you dares to wake me I'll throw every curse I know at you." Sirius pointed a long index finger at his three friends, his eyebrows raised in accusation.
"Wouldn't do that Sirius, no," Peter's voice was rapid and shaky, his beady eyes racing anxiously about Sirius's face. The threats Sirius threw out, no matter if he was obviously joking or not, always made Peter nervous. "No, wouldn't do that," Peter said, reinforcing himself.
The boys approached the landing to find the rope ladder already dropped and they all scampered up it on at a time to enter the misty Divination classroom. James let out a clearly fake and exaggerated cough upon entrance as though he were suffocating on the thick air of the room.
"Shut up Potter," Evans muttered from where she sat with Paris Oberman at a table close to the room's front.
James looked to the redheaded girl who was glaring darkly at him and cast a grin down upon her. He winked in an all suggestive manner and proceeded to the round table where the four Marauders normally sat.
"Mister Potter," Trewlaney's voice said only twenty minutes later. Her voice still held that singsong airiness to it, but was strict in it's own unnatural way. "What do you see being foretold in that star chart you've just drawn?" She stood behind James and looked over his shoulder at the all but factual star chart.
James moved his eyes from the Divination professor's own bug-like eyes to his paper and smirked. She'd known he'd not been paying attention to her lecture thus the reason for turning and praying on him. James shared a smirk with Sirius and cleared his throat.
"Well, I see - a lot of pain and agony. There's some dreadful tears and bloodshed on the way all because of Mars and I do believe that there will be a most alarming death in the very near future."
Sirius, Remus and Peter all laughed behind the backs of their hands, as did most of the rest of the class. Trewlaney peered down at the paper, still from over the bullshitting boy's shoulder, and put her hand to her chin in wonder and possibly in amazement.
"Hm, I daresay you are nearly bang on Potter, except there shall be no death, only an eternal slumber. Nevertheless I'll ask you four to pay attention more closely next time or you shall find yourselves all seated elsewhere."
She donned a merry smile and walked over to where Evans and Oberman were studying their own charts, her bangles and beads tinkering as she went.
"Death ... Eternal slumber ... What in Merlin's name is the difference!?"
"One sounds better than the other?" Sirius offered James as they descended from the ladder and made their way along the hallway.
"Damn star charts," James said, shaking his head and the Gryffindors soon found themselves welcoming the day's end in the Great Hall for supper.
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Sirius left the common room at quarter passed the hour, determined to go to the classroom, get the Snitch from Evans and leave. There would be nothing else happening in that classroom tonight. Nothing. Sirius guaranteed himself of that matter.
As he edged through the hallways, down the staircase and around the suits of armour, Sirius paced his breathing in order to stay calm. He reassured himself over and over that nothing would be happening tonight between he and Evans - there would be no replay of last night's events.
However, no matter how many times he told himself this and no matter how hard he tried to push away that lust, that passion, it just didn't seem to leave entirely. Instead of ebbing away, that feeling he had last night bubbled just below his skin, waiting ...
He sighed as he glanced up and down the corridor, standing just in front of that godforsaken classroom. Satisfied that there was nobody around, Sirius slowly pushed the door open and walked in. He took only one, maybe two steps at the most into the room and then quietly eased the door closed behind him.
A/n: Obviously, if you couldn't tell, this story is incomplete which means I am doing another four chapters. Though you must give me time because although I do know the song I'm using for the chapters, I have to figure the exact plot out so that it doesn't become one of those never-to-be-completed stories :glares at those stories: Linkin Park is my saving grace :grins:
Part V - I'll Paint It On The Walls - should hopefully be up before the second or third week of September. We'll see what with school and all. I really want to complete this story though. :looks hopeful:
-thank you's-
Linxis Rose - merci beaucoup and hell yea bunnies are evil. They try to act all cute and cuddly, but my cat could eat them for a meal. :glares and then chuckles: thanks a bunch love
selene-chan - :blushes: ah, thanks mate. Actually, I'm playing off your review a little because I liked the thought of people being angry with Lily and Sirius. Thanks for that!
BadAddy - being bribed to write, hm ... :chuckles: ... well, I hope you've seen pirates. Johnny Depp is SO attractive :melts into puddle at thought: thanks
Neni Potter - thanks a bunch love
Lucille - trying to be different at least, that's the attempts. :grins: thanks a bundle.
Ta mates, until next time - Lizi