The Apartment
by: emilie trig
Chapter 5part 2 *the edited version*
I couldn't sleep that night, and for some reason, I couldn't
find any particular thought that could lull me to sleep. My thoughts
were filled as I laid in darkness. There were so many things on my mind
and it hurt to think about them all at once. Why had Darien lied to
me? Was it so hard to tell me the truth? Maybe I wasn't trustworthy
enough, I told myself. It was true that we didn't know each other long
enough to form a trusting friendship, but there was no reason for him
to lie to me. I sighed and shut my eyes tight. I needed to sleep. It
was getting late and I had to work tomorrow.
My eyes opened again. I couldn't possibly go to sleep, I
thought. There was just no way. I pushed the covers aside and got up. I
knocked on Darien's door and stood quietly waiting for him. I needed to
talk to him, at least let him explain. I couldn't let this go by
without an explanation. We were friends and that needed trust. I was
willing to trust him.
The door creaked open. "Serena?"
I presented a weak smile. I wasn't so confident in my decision
to talk to him anymore. "Yeah, it's me. Can I talk to you?"
Darien gave a nod groggily and rubbed away the sleep in his
eyes. He followed me into the living room and we both sat down. The
room was lit only dimly, and I was glad.
My tongue got caught in my mouth before I could utter any word.
I didn't know how to bring it up. "Your sister called this afternoon."
I drawled out slowly.
Darien's sleepy face suddenly became more wakeful; and without a
doubt, I knew he lied to me and it wasn't some silly jokes someone
played on me.
He struggled for words. "Karen called?"
I nodded silently and pursed my lips together. "Yeah, she did."
"What did she say?"
I sighed. "Everything I didn't wanted to know."
"I'm sorry," Darien apologized tenderly, but I didn't care.
I smiled sarcastically and snickered at those stupid words. How
many times have I heard those words before? "Why?" I asked ignoring his
apology. It suddenly came to me to wonder why. Why did Darien lie? Why
did Lita let the horrible situation occur? Why couldn't we all let our
feelings out before things go to the extreme? Wouldn't it be easier
this way? Wouldn't it spare everyone the heartache?
"I didn't want things to be complicated." He explained, but his answer
wasn't a good enough reason for me.
"That's a crappy answer," I told him truthfully, looking at him
squarely. And it was, I thought. He didn't want things to become
complicated? Well, it just got even more complicated. I waited for him
to continue before my temper blossomed to its full potential.
Darien struggled to give another answer. "Things were going to
be simple and I was going to leave it at that. You have your own life
and I have mine."
My face twitched in irritation. His answer didn't finish
anything. "So you lied to me." I said straight out. I was hurt and
couldn't conceal it. It was wrong of me to go knock on his door, I
thought. I made a stupid move. "I thought we were friends. I was
beginning to trust you, you know. From the time we talked about the
orphanage." My voice wavers while he kept his silence. "But I guess it
was my fault. I trusted in the wrong person."
I took in a deep breath and calmed down my aching heart. Must
everyone lie to me? I stood up then; my sanity begged me to before I
embarrass myself any further. "Don't worry," I said my eyes looked down
on him. "Things won't get too complicated. I'll mind my own business
from now on."
I turned my back on him and left the situation at that. I
couldn't possibly deal with another lie. I had too much of it already.
"Wait, Serena." Darien said suddenly breaking out of his silent
trance. He grabbed one of my arms before I could go back to my room.
"Let me go." I said and tried to shake his arm away.
His fingers held on tighter. "Please forgive me. I didn't mean
to make it sound that way."
Darien's body came closer and I shoved him away. "Well, you
did."
I managed to free my arm and almost escape, when he closed my
only passage out.
"Listen," He begged me.
My eyes gazed in another direction, carefully, as not to meet
his. "Fine."
"I figured it would be a lot simpler if I told you that I didn't
have a family. I came to here to forget and not to be reminded of
them."
"You mean you came here to get closer to your 'fiancée'." I
corrected him firmly.
Darien took in the shock. "How did you know?"
"I saw you at the park." I said putting aside the oncoming
embarrassment. "I overheard you guys talking."
He gave a slight smile and I ignored it. "That still doesn't
give you any reason to lie to me." I told him firmly.
"I know and I'm sorry." Darien apologized again. "Can you just
hear me out?"
I glared at him and completely disregarded his request. One of
my hands pushed Darien aside and shut the door.
I left early for work that morning, careful to steer clear from
Darien. After that meeting with him, I realize what an idiot I've made
out of myself. Why did I have to act like such a fool? I thought and
wrapped an arm around myself. Darien's apologizing note (he had stuck
it to my door) made me feel so bad about the way I acted. To think
about it now, I had absolutely no right to act the way I did. He had
his right to keep his privacy even if it bruised my feeling. It came to
me after an hour of long thinking in front of the park's pond.
My rusty old car parked just a couple of walks beyond this
place. It was still too early for work. I wasn't willing to see Pete
(AN: he's her boss--if you forgot), and his wife so early in the
morning. I didn't want to deal with them.
A goldfish jumped then and I smiled. When was the last time I
came here? I asked myself. It seemed so long ago. A picture came to me
and a blurred memory rushed back in. Andrew and I used to fish here, I
recalled with a half smile. We even managed to steal a couple of
goldfishes home though we weren't allowed to. I used to love it here, I
thought with another realization. It was the first place Andrew and I
had ever learned to fish; and if I can remember correctly, it was Cook
(AN: Cook from the orphanage) who taught us how. My heart warmed at
the thought. There were so many memories that I've forgotten. I was
glad to bring this one back.
A jogging figure came by and I didn't even notice. He stopped
beside me.
"Serena," he said softly and came closer. "Are you alright?"
My mind snapped open. I looked up and my face tensed, suddenly
aware of whom it was. I wish it was anyone but him.
"Don't look at me like that, Serena." Ken spoke out and I
recognized how much I missed him.
I kept my voice firm though my heart was going to burst open in
a heart break. I still love him, but who was he to tell me what to do?
Ken doesn't have the right to say anything anymore. "Look at you like
what? Shouldn't I be looking at you this way?"
"Serena, I didn't mean to…"
My head held high. "You didn't mean to hurt me, right? I've
heard those words from Lita already. You can save it."
I stood up and straightened out my white uniform. I was careful
not to let any emotion escape. "Don't worry, Ken. I'm not going to cry
because of you." And I would certainly not cry in front of him, I
thought.
"Serena, I didn't mean to let my feelings for Lita get out. It
just happened. I had no control."
Maybe he didn't have control over his emotion, I sneered
silently, but he had control over what was going to happen. Ken could
have told me his feelings much before. It was too late now, much too
late for any apologies.
"I know I've hurt you badly, but you weren't the only who
suffered. My life's been hell carrying the guilt. I can't even talk to
Lita anymore. She refuses to speak to me."
"So what do you want me to do about it?" I asked him. What
exactly did he want from me? He already broke my heart, wasn't that
enough?
"Can you talk to Lita? I know you're upset, but she's been real
upset over this oo. It wasn't her fault that..."
My fingers form into a fist and before I knew it, swung into his
face. How dare he, I thought disturbingly, how he dare think of only
Lita. Hasn't Ken realized hat I've gotten hurt in this love triangle
too? I took a good look at him, a really good look. My shoulder slowly
turned and I left him to his own thinking.
A cold wind ascended down as I walked down the lonely path. I
couldn't hear Ken calling me back, but knew he was still watching me
from afar. One leg in front of the other, I took each step evenly. My
heart sensed a knowing void and the emptiness that came along with it.
Life no longer shines for me and I wasn't sure if I could go on.
Pete's wife started yelling at me again at work. I didn't know
what her problem was because I hadn't done anything wrong. It was a
repetitive thing and it usually didn't bother me much. Why it had
bothered me today, I didn't know why. Somehow, her harsh words seemed
more cutting today and sounded truer than most days.
I left work early that evening and Pete, for the first time in
years, drove me out the door. I would usually decline the offer because
I needed the money so much, but today was different. I didn't feel like
working and Pete saw that. He pays people to work and not mope around.
There were noises in the apartment when I got home and that
surprised me. No one was supposed to be at the apartment at this time.
I opened the door curiously and met Darien's tall form. He held an
empty cardboard box.
"Hi," he said and smiled lightly.
I nodded mutely. I didn't know what to say to him. I hadn't
expected to see him so soon.
Darien moved the box into his room and my eyes followed him.
"What are you doing?" I asked him. Something seemed odd in here.
Darien paused and his hand stood midriff to settle a book into
the box. His eyes rose to meet mine. "I'm going home, Serena."
***************
AN: I recently found myself an editor. So a big thanks goes out to her (Sarah).
She does a fast job of editing and that's great. Anyways, I guess I have to apologize
again for not having the story in sooner. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been maybe a month since
my last update. School is really catching up with me. Before I go, thank you everyone
for your review and email. I really went through a major guilt for not getting this
story in sooner. I know I disappointed a lot of fans and I can't do anything else but
try to write faster on the next few chapters. Again, I'm sorry. And don't forget to
email at: roses2small@yahoo.com or review. Thank you for reading my story, everyone.
Oh and if you have any direct criticism, email me instead of review. I know I have a lot
of direct comment on this story. And that's good.
Example of one: someone told me that Serena is too smart for her lack of education.
Is she? ::shrug::
Just email me for any direct comment. If you can argue your point over mine then I'll try
to change what I have written.
by: emilie trig
Chapter 5part 2 *the edited version*
I couldn't sleep that night, and for some reason, I couldn't
find any particular thought that could lull me to sleep. My thoughts
were filled as I laid in darkness. There were so many things on my mind
and it hurt to think about them all at once. Why had Darien lied to
me? Was it so hard to tell me the truth? Maybe I wasn't trustworthy
enough, I told myself. It was true that we didn't know each other long
enough to form a trusting friendship, but there was no reason for him
to lie to me. I sighed and shut my eyes tight. I needed to sleep. It
was getting late and I had to work tomorrow.
My eyes opened again. I couldn't possibly go to sleep, I
thought. There was just no way. I pushed the covers aside and got up. I
knocked on Darien's door and stood quietly waiting for him. I needed to
talk to him, at least let him explain. I couldn't let this go by
without an explanation. We were friends and that needed trust. I was
willing to trust him.
The door creaked open. "Serena?"
I presented a weak smile. I wasn't so confident in my decision
to talk to him anymore. "Yeah, it's me. Can I talk to you?"
Darien gave a nod groggily and rubbed away the sleep in his
eyes. He followed me into the living room and we both sat down. The
room was lit only dimly, and I was glad.
My tongue got caught in my mouth before I could utter any word.
I didn't know how to bring it up. "Your sister called this afternoon."
I drawled out slowly.
Darien's sleepy face suddenly became more wakeful; and without a
doubt, I knew he lied to me and it wasn't some silly jokes someone
played on me.
He struggled for words. "Karen called?"
I nodded silently and pursed my lips together. "Yeah, she did."
"What did she say?"
I sighed. "Everything I didn't wanted to know."
"I'm sorry," Darien apologized tenderly, but I didn't care.
I smiled sarcastically and snickered at those stupid words. How
many times have I heard those words before? "Why?" I asked ignoring his
apology. It suddenly came to me to wonder why. Why did Darien lie? Why
did Lita let the horrible situation occur? Why couldn't we all let our
feelings out before things go to the extreme? Wouldn't it be easier
this way? Wouldn't it spare everyone the heartache?
"I didn't want things to be complicated." He explained, but his answer
wasn't a good enough reason for me.
"That's a crappy answer," I told him truthfully, looking at him
squarely. And it was, I thought. He didn't want things to become
complicated? Well, it just got even more complicated. I waited for him
to continue before my temper blossomed to its full potential.
Darien struggled to give another answer. "Things were going to
be simple and I was going to leave it at that. You have your own life
and I have mine."
My face twitched in irritation. His answer didn't finish
anything. "So you lied to me." I said straight out. I was hurt and
couldn't conceal it. It was wrong of me to go knock on his door, I
thought. I made a stupid move. "I thought we were friends. I was
beginning to trust you, you know. From the time we talked about the
orphanage." My voice wavers while he kept his silence. "But I guess it
was my fault. I trusted in the wrong person."
I took in a deep breath and calmed down my aching heart. Must
everyone lie to me? I stood up then; my sanity begged me to before I
embarrass myself any further. "Don't worry," I said my eyes looked down
on him. "Things won't get too complicated. I'll mind my own business
from now on."
I turned my back on him and left the situation at that. I
couldn't possibly deal with another lie. I had too much of it already.
"Wait, Serena." Darien said suddenly breaking out of his silent
trance. He grabbed one of my arms before I could go back to my room.
"Let me go." I said and tried to shake his arm away.
His fingers held on tighter. "Please forgive me. I didn't mean
to make it sound that way."
Darien's body came closer and I shoved him away. "Well, you
did."
I managed to free my arm and almost escape, when he closed my
only passage out.
"Listen," He begged me.
My eyes gazed in another direction, carefully, as not to meet
his. "Fine."
"I figured it would be a lot simpler if I told you that I didn't
have a family. I came to here to forget and not to be reminded of
them."
"You mean you came here to get closer to your 'fiancée'." I
corrected him firmly.
Darien took in the shock. "How did you know?"
"I saw you at the park." I said putting aside the oncoming
embarrassment. "I overheard you guys talking."
He gave a slight smile and I ignored it. "That still doesn't
give you any reason to lie to me." I told him firmly.
"I know and I'm sorry." Darien apologized again. "Can you just
hear me out?"
I glared at him and completely disregarded his request. One of
my hands pushed Darien aside and shut the door.
I left early for work that morning, careful to steer clear from
Darien. After that meeting with him, I realize what an idiot I've made
out of myself. Why did I have to act like such a fool? I thought and
wrapped an arm around myself. Darien's apologizing note (he had stuck
it to my door) made me feel so bad about the way I acted. To think
about it now, I had absolutely no right to act the way I did. He had
his right to keep his privacy even if it bruised my feeling. It came to
me after an hour of long thinking in front of the park's pond.
My rusty old car parked just a couple of walks beyond this
place. It was still too early for work. I wasn't willing to see Pete
(AN: he's her boss--if you forgot), and his wife so early in the
morning. I didn't want to deal with them.
A goldfish jumped then and I smiled. When was the last time I
came here? I asked myself. It seemed so long ago. A picture came to me
and a blurred memory rushed back in. Andrew and I used to fish here, I
recalled with a half smile. We even managed to steal a couple of
goldfishes home though we weren't allowed to. I used to love it here, I
thought with another realization. It was the first place Andrew and I
had ever learned to fish; and if I can remember correctly, it was Cook
(AN: Cook from the orphanage) who taught us how. My heart warmed at
the thought. There were so many memories that I've forgotten. I was
glad to bring this one back.
A jogging figure came by and I didn't even notice. He stopped
beside me.
"Serena," he said softly and came closer. "Are you alright?"
My mind snapped open. I looked up and my face tensed, suddenly
aware of whom it was. I wish it was anyone but him.
"Don't look at me like that, Serena." Ken spoke out and I
recognized how much I missed him.
I kept my voice firm though my heart was going to burst open in
a heart break. I still love him, but who was he to tell me what to do?
Ken doesn't have the right to say anything anymore. "Look at you like
what? Shouldn't I be looking at you this way?"
"Serena, I didn't mean to…"
My head held high. "You didn't mean to hurt me, right? I've
heard those words from Lita already. You can save it."
I stood up and straightened out my white uniform. I was careful
not to let any emotion escape. "Don't worry, Ken. I'm not going to cry
because of you." And I would certainly not cry in front of him, I
thought.
"Serena, I didn't mean to let my feelings for Lita get out. It
just happened. I had no control."
Maybe he didn't have control over his emotion, I sneered
silently, but he had control over what was going to happen. Ken could
have told me his feelings much before. It was too late now, much too
late for any apologies.
"I know I've hurt you badly, but you weren't the only who
suffered. My life's been hell carrying the guilt. I can't even talk to
Lita anymore. She refuses to speak to me."
"So what do you want me to do about it?" I asked him. What
exactly did he want from me? He already broke my heart, wasn't that
enough?
"Can you talk to Lita? I know you're upset, but she's been real
upset over this oo. It wasn't her fault that..."
My fingers form into a fist and before I knew it, swung into his
face. How dare he, I thought disturbingly, how he dare think of only
Lita. Hasn't Ken realized hat I've gotten hurt in this love triangle
too? I took a good look at him, a really good look. My shoulder slowly
turned and I left him to his own thinking.
A cold wind ascended down as I walked down the lonely path. I
couldn't hear Ken calling me back, but knew he was still watching me
from afar. One leg in front of the other, I took each step evenly. My
heart sensed a knowing void and the emptiness that came along with it.
Life no longer shines for me and I wasn't sure if I could go on.
Pete's wife started yelling at me again at work. I didn't know
what her problem was because I hadn't done anything wrong. It was a
repetitive thing and it usually didn't bother me much. Why it had
bothered me today, I didn't know why. Somehow, her harsh words seemed
more cutting today and sounded truer than most days.
I left work early that evening and Pete, for the first time in
years, drove me out the door. I would usually decline the offer because
I needed the money so much, but today was different. I didn't feel like
working and Pete saw that. He pays people to work and not mope around.
There were noises in the apartment when I got home and that
surprised me. No one was supposed to be at the apartment at this time.
I opened the door curiously and met Darien's tall form. He held an
empty cardboard box.
"Hi," he said and smiled lightly.
I nodded mutely. I didn't know what to say to him. I hadn't
expected to see him so soon.
Darien moved the box into his room and my eyes followed him.
"What are you doing?" I asked him. Something seemed odd in here.
Darien paused and his hand stood midriff to settle a book into
the box. His eyes rose to meet mine. "I'm going home, Serena."
***************
AN: I recently found myself an editor. So a big thanks goes out to her (Sarah).
She does a fast job of editing and that's great. Anyways, I guess I have to apologize
again for not having the story in sooner. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been maybe a month since
my last update. School is really catching up with me. Before I go, thank you everyone
for your review and email. I really went through a major guilt for not getting this
story in sooner. I know I disappointed a lot of fans and I can't do anything else but
try to write faster on the next few chapters. Again, I'm sorry. And don't forget to
email at: roses2small@yahoo.com or review. Thank you for reading my story, everyone.
Oh and if you have any direct criticism, email me instead of review. I know I have a lot
of direct comment on this story. And that's good.
Example of one: someone told me that Serena is too smart for her lack of education.
Is she? ::shrug::
Just email me for any direct comment. If you can argue your point over mine then I'll try
to change what I have written.