~~

Disclaimer: you guys know the drill…but because my lawyer has suggested, I will WRITE THE DISCLAIMER!  I own nuthin' except for the gist of the story. Gundam aint mine.

~~

Aya: that one wasn't SO so bad.

Duo: agreed. I liked how Otto was the guy in the car.

Aya: YEP! It was the only transition I could think of :-/

Duo: so how you gonna work out the end?

Aya: oh. I've written it all *grin * I just need to type it up and reread it

Duo: HAPPY ENDING! YAY!

~~

Life aint no bowl of cherries…

~~

Duo and Ayame entered the food store, the first stop on their agenda, to purchase the immense amount of food listed on the numerous post-its.

Shinigami quickly made his way over to one of the rickety, old, metal carts and hopped in.

"What are you doing?" Ayame laughed at little at the childish act.

"I'm waiting for a push…" he motioned her over to the cart, "So if you'd be so kind."

His female companion rolled her eyes, the residual smile growing into a grin. With a short laugh she took the pushcart bar in both hands and pushed the carted baka into the nearest isle.

"You know…" Ayame leaned her lips close to Shinigami's ear, "just about everyone we've passed is staring at you."

He shrugged, "Let 'em stare. It's more fun that way! You should see their reactions when you do something really stupid." Duo's braid beamed with pride at the memory of the havoc he had once caused in isle five that got him booted from the store a few months ago.

Just then he de-carted himself and proceeded over to a large basket of rubber kick balls and took a red one out.

"It's all about timing, Aya, my dear."

And with that said Ayame watched in horror as he pegged a man with a shopping car and proceeded to yell, "TAG. YOUR IT!" before escaping into another isle around the corner. The middle-aged man, bewildered and pelted, the rubber ball still bouncing there mockingly, gathered himself up and made a hasty escape.

All the while Duo watched, poking his head over the shelves, trying to contain his laughter.

"Mahahaha!"

"Oh God! Duo! Come back here!"

~~

"Duo are you nuts!? Your gonna get us thrown out!"

"No I won't!" Some how or another, Ayame tracked Duo down to the produce area. He had wreaked havoc across the store, planting boxes of condoms into elderly peoples carts, gathering random people to play dodge ball throughout the store, and now he was rigging the timed water sprinklers for the vegetable shelves totally unnoticed. "What people fail to see is the ease at which this can be done…"

::Hell if I can wire a bomb, I can wire water sprinklers.::

Ayame was doing her best not to show her enjoyment of the situation but watching his game of dodge ball had been the funniest thing she'd seen someone do and the idea of having people sprayed in the face with water was tempting.

"But how are you gonna make them go off when you want them to…"

"That's the easy part!" Duo grinned holding up a small detonation device that looked like it was for self-destruct purposes, "Getting away from security if they catch us, now that's the challenge."

"You've completely lost it."

"I never had it to begin with!" he pecked her cheek with a kiss, "All I hafta do is press this little button and you know the rest."

After proclaiming the orange stand as their military base, they both waited to claim their first casualty. It was hard to find anyone to begin with. The fact that it was a workday and the produce section of the store seemed to be unpopular didn't help any.

Finally an unwary victim.

"OH OH!" Ayame tugged at duo and pointed inconspicuously, "See the girl with the long black hair?"

He nodded and squinted in her general direction. "Just a little more c'mon…that's right…to the left…a tiny bit."

The young woman, about Duo's age, maybe a bit younger, was Chinese, her glossy, ebony hair hung down to her back. What freaked him out was she looked EXACTLY how Wufei would if he were woman.

::More incentive. MAHAHAHA::

 He pressed the button hard and watched as the stranger gave a short squeal and drop the eggplant she was examining, cussing loud enough for isles one and two to hear.

"SHIT. GODDAMIT!"

"Tehehehehe. She got so soaked."

Ayame coulda sworn she saw a pair of devilish horns emerge from under his braid.

"I hope you've had your fun, Maxwell." There was a tone in her voice that suggested she was cross.

"Awwwww, Ayame is mad at me?" He pouted and unleashed the best set of watery puppy eyes he could.

"That's right!" She crossed her arms and looked away from him trying her best to look it. "I dun want Quatre to be angry! He expects us to be shopping."

"He expects YOU to be shopping. He knows I'LL be terrorizing the place."

"High expectations, ne?"

"Like you wouldn't BELIEVE." He replied, violet eyes rolled up to the ceiling in sarcasm. "But since I'm sucha nice guy, I'll help ya out at the expense of my fun…" Duo snatched the lists from her.

"I already checked off some of the stuff…"

"Apricots…what the hell are apricots…" Duo scanned his minute amount of knowledge on nutritional food. This was coming up as unavailable.

Ayame squinted one of her hazel eyes in thought. "They're like…dried up pieces of fruit. I heard they're good…" 

~~

Duo stared into the Plexiglas-topped containers where the alleged apricots lay.

"…"

Ayame glances over at the braided idiot as she put a twisty tie around the one-pound bag of dried fruities she has scooped.

"What's wrong-?"

Shinigami shoved two pieces of apricots in her face with a serious look.

"What's the first thing that pops into your mind when you look at these." He gave her an analytical look as if he were a psychiatrist giving his patient an inkblot test.

"Er…ah…shriveled up fruit?"

"Old people's balls…" He said in the most seriously ominous tone she had ever heard come from him.

"….old people's balls…and…you know what they look like?" Ayame bit her cheery lips back, forcing them to withhold a huge grin.

"No…but I think this is how they would look…" He gave a small, sad nod.

"You have lost all the sympathy I've ever had for you when Heero and the others called you an idiot…"

"AND WHAT ABOUT THIS! What comes to mind?" He unceremoniously plucked a large cucumber from the cart, stroking it suggestively.

Ayame felting the temperature rise in her face. She looked straight into Duo's eyes and motioned with them down to his lower…lower stomach area.

"GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER YOUNG LADY! It's a vegetable!" Shinigami grinned after receiving a blow to the head with a cereal box.

~~

"Okay…" Ayame's eyes ran down her list once more to check for accuracy, "we got everything!" She beamed.

"Yeah and it only took two hours!" Duo was busy steering the cart into one of the checkout lines. With one good push off with his foot, he rode the rickety piece of metal into a magazine rack.

"You're way too smooth for your own good Duo." Aya-chan bent over on her knees and aided him in the clean up efforts, nudging him a little.

The young American glanced over at her and returned the loving bump, "Anything to get you to smile."

A tint of pink crossed her face. "You're so sweet." She countered back quietly, stacking up the last of the books.

"Sweet enough for you to let me get the cherry flavored condoms I found?!"

"…put 'em in the cart, Quatre will never know."

~~

Aya: I'M TRYING BUT I'M NOT FUNNY! !

Duo: Poor, poor girl.