"That's my girl, Emma, you keep going!"
"You can do it, baby!
"Zigzag, Emma! Don't just keep going straight!"
"C'mon Emma!"
"You're doing great out there!"
"Watch out for that other player!"
"Just keep having fun, honey!"
"Emma, keep your man away from the ball! Head butt him if you have to, just keep covering him!" The seven other adults in the group turned to look over at the culprit. Instead of looking guilty, T.J. Moss kept watching the ongoing action of the game until he felt the stares of his companions. "What did I say?" he turned and asked them all innocently.
"That's it," his wife, Ellie, replied. "Shawn isn't allowed to play sports until he moves out of the house."
"The whole group of them is straggling all over the field!" he argued, referring to the group of children playing soccer in front of them. They were watching Emma's junior team play another team from the league in a friendly yet surprisingly competitive game of soccer. "They're not covering the offense, they're playing a zone defense when they should be playing one-on-one, they're passing schemes are ludicrous, they're line formation is a joke, they're--"
"They're seven year-olds, T.J.!" Donna explained laughingly. "You expect them all to be the next David Beckham?"
Feeling a bit foolish and not having any good response, he turned back to the game. "I'm just trying to help," he huffed, a little miffed.
"Well do us all a favor and, you know, don't," Toby instructed him, turning the video camera back to the field. Josh had apparently decided that among Toby's duties as C.o.S was taping Emma's soccer game that weekend when they'd invited a group of friends and family down to Langley House. They included Toby and Nicole, T.J. and Ellie, and Bobby Harrington and his wife, Helen.
"Hey Toby shouldn't you be careful? I mean you are outside in the sunlight after all. Aren't you afraid any minute you'll turn into a big ole pile of dust?" T.J. shot back sarcastically.
"Bite me," Toby replied, not looking at him.
"Nice comeback, man," Bobby added, patting Toby's shoulder.
"Can we all stop fighting in front of the small children of strangers and save it for later, like at family get-togethers and such?" Josh asked of them.
"Sure," Toby drawled. "But can you also not piss off forty-two percent of your constituency by saying that social security funding should take precedence over national security funding?"
"I did not say that!" Josh disagreed vehemently. "I said that now that we are not living in a time of immediate war, spending four hundred billion a year on defense did not make as much sense as endowing social security funding to last through the next two generations."
"Well who's to say we're not in a time of immediate war, of an immediate danger from a terrorist threat?" Bobby challenged politely. "The Middle East has been a constant war zone for hundreds of years, with no clear end in sight. The argument could easily be made that America's continued involvement in preemptive strikes is the only thing that's keeping this war from spilling over onto our own soil. What do you have to say about that?"
"You're a Democrat!" Toby and Josh both exclaimed in rebuttal.
"Is it possible for you guys to not talk about politics for five minutes or would that just be asking too much?" T.J. asked the older men. He looked behind Josh to the shady trees on the other end of the field. "Uh oh."
"What?"
He pointed past them until the other three looked in that direction. From their spots, they could make out that their wives and/or partners had huddled under the trees with some lawn chairs, away from the four of them and their juvenile arguing. "We did it again. Ellie's gonna yell at me later."
"I'd take her over Nicole any day," Toby said, shaking his head.
"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Bobby scoffed. "At least if you've got a comfortable leather couch imported from Spain to sleep on when your woman puts you in the doghouse."
"Why do we always end up arguing over stupid things when we get together?" T.J. thought out loud.
"I think it's that damn 'Y' chromosome, personally," Bobby answered. He glanced back over at the woman. "What do you suppose they talk about when they're alone?"
"Do you really want be burdened with that kind of knowledge?" Toby asked him in reply.
"I'm just curious is all," he defended himself.
"You know what they say about curiosity, right Bobby?" T.J. asked.
"It killed the cat?"
"And neutered the man," Toby concluded. The three men shared a raucous laugh over that simple fact before Josh interrupted them.
"Do you guys mind? I'm trying to watch my kid out there."
"No you're not," Bobby contradicted. He pointed back over to the women, at one particular blonde that was watching Josh intently. "You're just trying to not get in any more trouble with your wife by fraternizing with the likes of us."
"I am a master at multitasking," Josh simply said, staring straight ahead at the game.
"He's multitasking," Donna told her group of companions, which included her sister, her sister-in-law, and one of her good friends. They'd also brought with them their remaining children, which included Natalie and Ellie and T.J's son, Shawn. Helen's seven year-old son, Freddie, was visiting his grandparents in Atlanta for the weekend.
"What do you mean?" Ellie asked her while trying to feed her son some applesauce.
"Josh," she elaborated, "is multitasking. You see, he's watching the game, yes. But he's at the same time also jerking around with the rest of the guys while trying to look like he's not so I don't yell at him later for not paying attention to the game like we are."
"He looks like he's pretty good at it," Helen commented, leaning back a little into her chair.
"He is. But I'm also better at spotting it." She smiled down at her nephew as he tried to bat away the spoon his mother was trying to wedge in between his closed lips. She could see Ellie was getting frustrated with the task so she reached over to take the spoon. "Let me try something." Ellie gladly handed over the spoon and Donna went to kneel in front of the boy. "Come over here, Natalie," she said to her almost two year-old daughter. The child crawled across the blanket they'd spread out to her mother's lap. Donna pulled her up and held the spoon in front of her mouth. "Let's show your cousin what a big girl you're getting to be by trying a little bit of this applesauce, sweetie." She gently moved the spoon closer to the girl and after the child had inspected it for a moment, she opened her mouth wide and let her mother place the food in her mouth, all the while sixteen month-old Shawn watched in fascination. When Natalie swallowed, Donna reached over to kiss her button nose. "That's my good girl, sweetie. You are such a big girl now," she cooed to the giggling child. Nodding to Shawn's awestruck face, she handed the spoon back over to Ellie and instructed, "See what happens now." And after Ellie had wiped off the utensil and put another spoonful of applesauce in front of Shawn, he readily opened his mouth to be fed.
"That is a nifty trick," Ellie said with admiration as her son ate. "Where'd you pick that one up?"
"From our grandmother," Nicole answered for her, grinning behind her sunglasses. "Our mom could never get Donna to eat anything when she was a baby, so Mena showed her this trick where you feed an older child the same food in front of the younger child and for some reason it always worked on Donna." She grimaced slightly. "You have no idea how many spoonfuls of mashed carrots and green beans I had to eat as a child."
"Did it work for T.J.?" his wife asked.
"Oh that boy just eats anything you put front of him." That garnered a chuckle from the other woman as they thought of how true that statement was of most men, theirs included.
"Too bad I won't get to try this trick out for awhile," Ellie said, wiping Shawn's mouth.
Donna looked over at her curiously. "You mean you and T.J. don't want more kids?" she asked as she turned back to watch her daughter's game.
"No, we do," she corrected her. "Just not right now. We want to wait until I'm at least done my residency before we even start discussing it." She set her son down so he could play with his cousin. "Besides, he's enough for us right now. I'm working crazy hours at the hospital and T.J.'s hopping all around the world with National Geographic. It works fine with just Shawn but with two kids, one of us would have to give up our careers and we're not ready to do that now."
"That's understandable," Helen approved, her agreement coming from experience. "I had an attending position at Atlanta General all lined up before I got pregnant with Freddie and after I had him, I took a year off for maternity leave. Bobby couldn't leave the A.A.F.O. right then because he'd just gotten promoted to Assistant Director so my career got put on hold." She took a sip of lemonade before continuing, "Now don't get me wrong, I don't regret it in the least. I love my kids but I also made the conscious choice to not have any more after Freddie because I didn't want to lose another opportunity in my work."
"This is why I've never had kids," Nicole added. "I'm way too career oriented to be anyone's mother. My only mistake was that my ex-husband did not share those same sentiments."
"That's why you guys got divorced?" Ellie asked, leaning forward a little. "He wanted kids and you didn't; it's usually the other way around."
"Plus there was the whole fact that Kyle had another wife in his home country of Germany and neglected to tell his American wife that," Donna added, nudging her sister's knee with her elbow.
"That too," Nicole concurred with a smile. "But never let it be said that the Moss women have always gotten in right on the first time out."
"And the second time around?" Helen teased.
Nicole glanced back over at Toby, still filming while engaging in some sort of debate with her brother. "I think I got it right this time," she declared softly. "I love him and he loves me. We both have our careers and our families and friends and our own identities. We neither need nor want to be saddled down by marriage and kids. It works for us." She looked down at her niece and nephew, playing quietly together on the blanket and at Emma, who was still running around on the field. "Anyways, I'm a much better aunt than I ever would be a mother."
"You would be a great mother, Nicole," Ellie disagreed strongly. "I have total faith in that."
"Well I appreciate the thought, but Toby and I don't want to put in the time and effort it takes to conceive a baby at our age let alone raise one."
"I want to have a baby," Donna suddenly blurted out from her spot on the ground. The other three looked at her in surprise and she ducked her head in embarrassment. "What? I do."
"When did this happen?" her sister asked.
"A couple months ago, I guess," Donna shrugged. She played with some grass nervously as she avoided looking at the curious stares of the others. "I can't even really explain it but I do. Lately, anytime I see a baby anywhere, my heart just wells up and I want nothing more in the world than to hold a baby, my baby, in my arms again. Is that so wrong?"
"Of course not," her sister-in-law said, reaching over to rub her shoulder supportively. "I think it's great. Just because the rest of us don't want kids right now doesn't mean you can't."
"You never were one to follow the pack, Donnatella," Nicole added.
"Are you sure this is a good time for you to be thinking about this?" Helen asked kindly, remembering how Donna had once told her she'd like to have a baby for somewhat less than pure reasons before she left Josh. "I mean, you're my friend and I want you to be happy, but your marriage just took a major hit to its foundation. Add to that the fact that you're starting a new job and Josh's job is highly demanding, plus you already have two young children…" she trailed off when she saw the downcast look Donna's face had taken. "I don't mean to be so negative, Donna. I'm just trying to be realistic."
"No you're right, Helen," Donna told her, reaching over to stroke her daughter's fine brown hair. "This is a horrible time to have a baby or to even be thinking about having one. I just can't seem to stop."
"What does Josh say about all this?" Nicole asked her.
"We haven't talked about it," she admitted.
"You haven't…Oh God Donna," Nicole groaned in irritation. "Have you learned nothing at all from the past six months? Don't you realize you're doing it all over again?"
"No Nicole, why don't you explain it to me using small words and pictured diagrams," she said defensively, turning back to her. "It is my life, can you just let me live it?"
"You're keeping secrets from your husband and you're not telling him how you really feel," she pointed out. "Care to take a guess how this one plays out for the whole family?"
"All right let's just cool down," Helen mediated, getting between the sisters. "This is a stupid thing to fight over, let's just be mature and rational about this."
"Yes ladies, let us not turn into them," Ellie said, jerking her head back towards the men. "Donna, Nicole is only trying to help you out; Nicole, Donna is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. Can we all agree on that?" The two sisters nodded grudgingly. "Good, now can you guys apologize and have that be that?"
"Sorry," Nicole said sincerely after a minute.
"Me too," Donna repeated. She sighed wistfully. "You don't need to worry about the baby thing though. That's probably not going to happen for quite some time."
"Why do you say that?" Ellie asked.
Donna looked back at the men. Josh was still multitasking, watching the game but also having what looked to be a serious discussion with Toby. "It doesn't feel like we're married right now," she stated sadly. "There's no kissing or touching or inside jokes or genuine happiness that lasts more than a minute or two at a time with us. Everything's just so hard between us now that there's no real room for the love to…" she sighed again, looking back over at Emma's game as the conversation started to drain on her. "It just doesn't feel like we're married anymore."
"It doesn't feel like we're married right now," Josh told Toby glumly, as he looked over at Donna, who was watching the game.
"What does that mean?" Toby asked, turning away from the camera to look at his friend. When he saw that Josh seemed less than willing to answer, he handed the camera over to T.J.. "Here, young one, take this and don't point it at attractive women's behinds because your wife will probably see it." He turned back to Josh. "Again I ask, what does that mean?"
"It means just that. There's no laughing, no cooking together, no real romance; there's nothing there anymore, it just all got muddled up somehow and we can't find it. I mean, I love her more than anything on this Earth but we can't get it together enough to ride this out."
"Wow, that kind of emotionless intensity must make sex really interesting," Bobby chimed in.
Josh looked at him like he was an idiot. "Bobby, we're not having sex," he explained patiently.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because in a marriage, when the spouses are arguing with each other, sex is usually not a high priority."
"Well, you've never been married like me before, I guess," Bobby reasoned before he furrowed his brow and looked at Josh strangely. "I thought you said you guys weren't fighting a lot anymore?"
"We're not really fighting per say," Josh declared reluctantly.
"Then what the hell's the problem?" Toby rejoined the conversation.
Looking over his shoulder to make sure no one else was paying attention, Josh whispered, "She says she doesn't feel comfortable doing…that right now."
Toby looked slightly nauseated from thinking about that but Bobby was as nosy as an elderly next-door neighbor. "You mean physically she's not…comfortable?"
"No, no! I mean emotionally," Josh replied, craning his neck as he felt more awkward by the second discussing this with his friends.
"Why not?"
"What the hell is this, Twenty Questions About Josh's Sex Life?" he asked disbelievingly.
"I'm just trying to help you out, man," Bobby tried to defend himself.
"I understand and I'm grateful for it," Josh told him. "I'm just frustrated with everything that's going on and I'm not looking forward to going back to the city if this is what's waiting for me there. She's just been so hot and cold lately, it's driving me insane."
"Do you know what's bothering her now?" Toby rejoined the conversation.
"Damned if I know. I don't know anymore if it's from lack of interest or if she's mad at me for some reason, or if she just doesn't want to…" He rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. "I can't read her the way I used to. I used to be able to tell what she was thinking or feeling before she even did sometimes. Now, every time I think I'm getting somewhere with her, like I've finally gotten through to her, she just pulls back a little more. It's like I've already won the prize but then I get disqualified on the podium."
"Kind of like the ball rolling through Buckner's legs right into left field at the '86 World Series," Toby added his wisdom.
"I still think you're just crazy," Bobby said. "I don't care how angry I was at her, if I had a wife with a body like Donna's I'd--"
"Okay, I'm going to come into this conversation right now to clarify a few things," T.J. interrupted, eyes still focused into the camera lens. "Number 1: Toby, Buckner was playing first base in the '86 World Series, ergo, the ball rolled into right field. Number 2: Bobby, I've got like ten years and hundred pounds on you so I'd stop and think if I were you before any other sentence with the words, 'Donna' and 'body' come out of your mouth. Number 3: Josh, my sister loves you with everything she is worth and more. She'd do anything in this world to take back what she did to you, as I'm sure she's said numerous times, but she can't. So she hurt you? Well guess what, when two people love each other they also tend to hurt each other. Not intentionally or with malice but because when you love someone, you open yourself up to it. Now bear in mind, Josh, I still don't like you. I feel one day you're going to hurt my sister the way all the men in her life besides me have and when that day comes, I'll pummel your ass into oblivion. For now though, she wants to be with you so I'll do something that goes against my better judgment and give you a little advice: Donna loves you and you love her; yes, you are still mad at her and even I'll admit that it's justified. But ask yourself this: is this hurt and self-loathing you've got going on worth sacrificing your entire marriage over? I believe if you think about it carefully, you'll find that it's not."
Josh gaped at his brother-in-law, as did his companions, with a bit more respect and admiration than he'd had before. T.J. had been able to put aside his differences with Josh long enough to help him start to see a possible solution to his problem. Donna had already started to forgive herself for what she'd done; now Josh needed to do the same thing for himself.
"Thanks," Josh replied a bit dumbstruck, still kind of in shock at the source and usefulness of the advice. He went over to pat T.J. on the shoulder in a friendly fashion. "I really appreciate that coming from you."
"Don't take it personally," snarked T.J., annoyed, shrugging himself away from Josh, clearly showing that some things will never change. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he suddenly started babbling as he kept watching the game. He pointed out to the field, gesturing wildly and crying out, "Emma's got the ball! She's got the ball!"
Turning swiftly, Josh saw his daughter kicking the ball ahead of herself as she tried to dodge the assault of seven and eight year-old bodies coming her way. "Go Emma!" Josh shouted with renewed zeal as she got closer and closer to the goal. "You can do it, you're almost there!"
"Come on, baby!" he heard another voice yell right next to him. Peeking over, he saw that an energized Donna had run over from her spot to get a better look of their daughter as she made her way across the field, as Emma darted around everyone with a look of excitement and sheer terror stitched across her face. Moving left and right and then left again, Emma just kept moving forward, leaving a trail of other children in her wake. Finally, getting as close to the goal line as possible, she pulled her right leg back and let loose a mammoth kick that allowed the ball to sail flawlessly into the net as she watched in amazement as she scored the winning goal.
"Yes!" Josh cried, raising his arms in a 'V' for victory, pride seizing him with an iron grip as he watched his daughter revel in the thrill of winning surrounded by the cheers of her teammates. Emma's group of adult fans in the crowd were going crazy for the young girl and beside him, his wife was hooting and hollering with the fanaticism only a parent can.
"Oh my God, Josh did you just see that?" she asked, turning to him, her blue eyes radiant with joy. "She scored a goal! Our little scored her first goal; I can't believe it! Were you taping it? Please tell me you were taping because she's gonna want to see this and--"
Josh cut her off before she could continue by firmly planting his lips on hers and pulling her tight against him. Gently probing his tongue into her mouth, he kissed her like he'd never kissed her before, with a force and passion tinged with such gentleness that Donna was thankful Josh was holding her upright. After a minute, her arms went to wrap around his neck and tug him down further to her. Eventually, oxygen became an issue and they separated, not leaving the other's gaze.
"Josh?" she finally breathed out, her cheeks inflamed and glowing. "What was that--?"
"Mommy! Daddy! I made a goal, I made a goal!" Emma shouted as she made a beeline for her parents, unaware of the amorous and the more than slightly dazed expressions that painted both their faces. Pulling away from Donna shakily, Josh reached down to scoop the girl into his arms, the mud and dirt covering her be damned. "I did it! I really, really did it!"
"You sure did, honey," he said as kissed her on the cheek as she wrapped herself around him. "I'm so proud of you." Donna looked on at them, at the giddiness both were exuding, and at the expression on Josh's face: the dimples were out in full force and that spark that was dancing behind Josh's eyes; a spark she couldn't remember seeing in quite some time; a spark that she could feel was mirrored in her own eyes.
"Mommy! Mommy, did you see?" her daughter broke her out of her trance. "We won the game! My team won the game! We won!"
"We sure did," Donna whispered, stroking her daughter's cheek as she gazed into her husband's eyes. Josh reached up and wrapped his hand around hers, kissing the inside of her palm as he shared a look of contentment with his wife. "We sure did."