Disclaimer: yada yada…I own nuttin
A/N: this chap is gonna go back and forth between Sirius and James…till they meet hope ya like it! Thanx for all the reviews ^_^
Sirius threw his keys and leather jacket on his bed, angrily and dropped himself on his bed. He just lay there, not doing anything, not really looking at anything…not even thinking, until he couldn't take it anymore he screamed out in rage. Before he knew it he was tearing down, kicking, destroying everything in his sight.
"Sirius!" called an elderly house elf, as she burst open his door, to find the room as a total mess, and Sirius sitting against the wall his eyes closed, yet she could still see the pain in his face.
"What," he answered quietly, as though he had no more energy left, but he did.
Sirius felt energetic like he couldn't just sit down, he half wanted to get out of his window and jump down to his own death…he had actually given this serious consideration. On the other hand, every part of him felt exhausted, almost drained of all energy and feeling.
"What is wrong…" she stopped in her tracks releasing this was not the time, and lowered her voice and said more kindly, "Can I get you anything?"
"No," he closed his opened his eyes as the maid began to live, "Is the house empty?"
"Yes. You're mother, and father wont be back from France till tomorrow morning, you're brother'll be back from the Lestranges as well. Would like me to have Kreacher make you some tea? You look a bit pale master Sirius."
"No! It's ok…it just means that I have to leave by tonight then!"
* * *
James sat there emotionlessly, not really listening or watching his lecturing parents. They didn't need to this not really…he was pretty sure there would be no partying for a long while. After a while James could take no more, so he just got up not caring about the looks of anger on his parent's faces and just ran out.
After running for almost 30 mins, James came to a halt and dropped himself on a street bench; pretty sure he had just entered the muggle world. With no idea of where he was going he lit up a cigarette and sat there a while, then got back up not realizing he was getting soaked because of the rain.
* * *
Sirius ran and walked for so long that he had totally lost track of time, not that he cared anyway. Days, months, years could go by and what he did would still be there…what he did to his best friend. Normally Sirius reached into his pocket to get his whisky bottle and drink away his sorrow, and he did that now…but instead of drinking it he gave it a VERY disgusted glare and cried out as he threw it away, feeling a small bit of satisfaction after hearing it break.
Wiping his wet black hair out of his eyes, Sirius walked on till he finally got to the beach, the only place he knew was going to calm him down, before he did something he'd regret even more. When he was young and his mother was scratching his nerves, or whenever he felt lonely he'd come to the beach. As he climbed up the large rocks, remembering all those times he and James had spend climbing up the rocks and swimming in the chilling water.
Feeling exhausted, mentally and physically, Sirius sank down on the rocks watching the water, like so many other times…
* * *
James somehow knew that Sirius was already there, and this brought a whole lot of relief to him, he had not only been thinking about Remus, but as well as what crazy thing would Sirius do to get over his grief. He knew the beach always calmed Sirius down, it did to him as well.
When he saw his best friend sitting there, his face shinning with sorrow under the moonlight, all he wanted to do was hug him.
"Sirius," James said quietly, knowing that he was so deep in his own world that he probably hadn't noticed James coming, and he was right when he saw Sirius' startled look.
"What do you want?" Sirius said harshly, "You came here to tell me it's all my fault? The if Remus dies it's all because of me???"
"No, I…I want your help!" James said slowly.
"Don't fuck with me James, I'm not in the mood!!!"
"I'm not! We made a mistake, we all did…and now where paying for it. We could just sit there and do nothing and feel sad and sorry…or…we can get up and think of a way to save our friend, before he…" James stopped in his tracks not wanting to think about what could happen to his dear friend.
"Fuck James! Remus' head is fucked, he has no fucking memories. The assholes sent him to Azkaban and now he's gone…he is sick and Voldemort has him…there is no chance…NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!" James could now see tears running down Sirius's cheeks.
"How could you say that!!! We have to stay strong for Remus, we have to…we have to find him!!!!!!" James burst out, "the ministries hands are too tied up right now to help him…since he was a convict of some sort he is one of the last priorities…and as unfair as it sounds, it's still true."
"Those bastards," Sirius said his voice shaky.
"Sirius, we're his only hope…if we don't, he is as good as dead!!!"
James watched as Sirius' eyes began to shine with determination, and the sadness was covered with a sheet of pure anger and courage. Sirius grinned at James a very sad grin.
"Let's go!"
A/N: this chap is gonna go back and forth between Sirius and James…till they meet hope ya like it! Thanx for all the reviews ^_^
Sirius threw his keys and leather jacket on his bed, angrily and dropped himself on his bed. He just lay there, not doing anything, not really looking at anything…not even thinking, until he couldn't take it anymore he screamed out in rage. Before he knew it he was tearing down, kicking, destroying everything in his sight.
"Sirius!" called an elderly house elf, as she burst open his door, to find the room as a total mess, and Sirius sitting against the wall his eyes closed, yet she could still see the pain in his face.
"What," he answered quietly, as though he had no more energy left, but he did.
Sirius felt energetic like he couldn't just sit down, he half wanted to get out of his window and jump down to his own death…he had actually given this serious consideration. On the other hand, every part of him felt exhausted, almost drained of all energy and feeling.
"What is wrong…" she stopped in her tracks releasing this was not the time, and lowered her voice and said more kindly, "Can I get you anything?"
"No," he closed his opened his eyes as the maid began to live, "Is the house empty?"
"Yes. You're mother, and father wont be back from France till tomorrow morning, you're brother'll be back from the Lestranges as well. Would like me to have Kreacher make you some tea? You look a bit pale master Sirius."
"No! It's ok…it just means that I have to leave by tonight then!"
* * *
James sat there emotionlessly, not really listening or watching his lecturing parents. They didn't need to this not really…he was pretty sure there would be no partying for a long while. After a while James could take no more, so he just got up not caring about the looks of anger on his parent's faces and just ran out.
After running for almost 30 mins, James came to a halt and dropped himself on a street bench; pretty sure he had just entered the muggle world. With no idea of where he was going he lit up a cigarette and sat there a while, then got back up not realizing he was getting soaked because of the rain.
* * *
Sirius ran and walked for so long that he had totally lost track of time, not that he cared anyway. Days, months, years could go by and what he did would still be there…what he did to his best friend. Normally Sirius reached into his pocket to get his whisky bottle and drink away his sorrow, and he did that now…but instead of drinking it he gave it a VERY disgusted glare and cried out as he threw it away, feeling a small bit of satisfaction after hearing it break.
Wiping his wet black hair out of his eyes, Sirius walked on till he finally got to the beach, the only place he knew was going to calm him down, before he did something he'd regret even more. When he was young and his mother was scratching his nerves, or whenever he felt lonely he'd come to the beach. As he climbed up the large rocks, remembering all those times he and James had spend climbing up the rocks and swimming in the chilling water.
Feeling exhausted, mentally and physically, Sirius sank down on the rocks watching the water, like so many other times…
* * *
James somehow knew that Sirius was already there, and this brought a whole lot of relief to him, he had not only been thinking about Remus, but as well as what crazy thing would Sirius do to get over his grief. He knew the beach always calmed Sirius down, it did to him as well.
When he saw his best friend sitting there, his face shinning with sorrow under the moonlight, all he wanted to do was hug him.
"Sirius," James said quietly, knowing that he was so deep in his own world that he probably hadn't noticed James coming, and he was right when he saw Sirius' startled look.
"What do you want?" Sirius said harshly, "You came here to tell me it's all my fault? The if Remus dies it's all because of me???"
"No, I…I want your help!" James said slowly.
"Don't fuck with me James, I'm not in the mood!!!"
"I'm not! We made a mistake, we all did…and now where paying for it. We could just sit there and do nothing and feel sad and sorry…or…we can get up and think of a way to save our friend, before he…" James stopped in his tracks not wanting to think about what could happen to his dear friend.
"Fuck James! Remus' head is fucked, he has no fucking memories. The assholes sent him to Azkaban and now he's gone…he is sick and Voldemort has him…there is no chance…NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!!" James could now see tears running down Sirius's cheeks.
"How could you say that!!! We have to stay strong for Remus, we have to…we have to find him!!!!!!" James burst out, "the ministries hands are too tied up right now to help him…since he was a convict of some sort he is one of the last priorities…and as unfair as it sounds, it's still true."
"Those bastards," Sirius said his voice shaky.
"Sirius, we're his only hope…if we don't, he is as good as dead!!!"
James watched as Sirius' eyes began to shine with determination, and the sadness was covered with a sheet of pure anger and courage. Sirius grinned at James a very sad grin.
"Let's go!"