Disclaimer: I'm tired of writing these things, see the previous chapters.
Author's note: Lady Leila: I'm trying I swear.
Trickster Jaina: I know, I know. I had originally planned Jaina's pregnancy before I got the plot bunny about Leia. I wasn't sure if it would take away the effect of it, but the bunny just wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it.
Flute Kahlan Solo Fel: Thank you and I wondered if I was the only one who had freaked out a parent by doing that.
Black wings or Master Solo: Well you'll just have to wait and see.
Jedimaster-jaina-solo: I'm glad you liked it and I hope this part meets your standards.
Sticks: You said it! I have a mental picture of Jag as a great dad. Besides can't you just see the combination of the solo charm and the fel looks.
________________________________________________________________
That night they lay on the bunk in their quarters in icy silence. They had resumed their planning duties for the rest of the day and had even come up with several new tactics guaranteed to be sever distractions to the Vong, as well as combining their current tactics into a tactically sound and extremely efficient plan.
"Jaina," he asked quietly, unsure if she was still awake.
"Yes, Jag," she said harshly.
"We need to talk, Jaina. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just worried about both of you."
Almost reluctantly, she rolled over to face him. "I'm worried too." She caught his hand and placed it on her abdomen. "I don't want anything to happen to the three of us. But, Jag, I can't just walk away from this now. With this fight coming up, we need all of the soldiers we can get."
"I know," he said in a monotone voice. He took a deep breath and struggled to collect his thoughts.
"I know we didn't plan this Jag and I'm sorry."
"No," he said firmly and placed a finger on her lips to silence her. "No, I'm not upset about this, Darling. In fact, I think I'm very happy."
If Jaina hadn't been laying down, she would have fallen over in shock at the wide, earsplitting grin that was covering Jag's usually reserved face. She laughed lightly and kissed him. Gently she laid her head on his chest. "I don't want this child's life to be in danger as he or she grows up. I want to be there with them as they grow up. I don't want to be a galactic hero who's not there for all of the little normal everyday things kids do and go through, but I have to be in this battle."
"I have to leave soon," Jag reminded her after a long moment.
"I know," she said quietly, "but we'll see each other before the fighting starts right?"
"Yes. The battle group should reform a day or so before the fight."
"Practice hard," Jaina said, trying to keep the tone of their parting light. The main task force that would be facing the Vong was being split in two smaller pieces and sent on real 'practice' missions designed to make the Vong think the Galactic Alliance had no idea of the up coming attack and to also to distract them.
They had decided earlier that day that Jag would go with the other section of the task force. It would be almost two weeks before they saw each other again. This wasn't the first time they had been separated by the war and it was often for longer periods of time, but they still didn't like it, especially now.
"After this is over, we have to do something about this," Jaina said definitely.
"We certainly do," agreed Jag. Leaving the most important discussions for later, they took advantage of the time they had left to enjoy each others company because neither knew when something could happen to the other.
________________________________________________________________
The next two weeks were filled with constant flying and fighting that reminded Jaina of the early days of the war where the only thing that could be accomplished was a fighting retreat. Each battle they survived was a kind of victory in itself.
The beings that made up her squadron were all superb pilots and the small Jedi meld they had developed worked very well. Despite all of this, though, fatigue began to set in. Not just the physical fatigue of long hours and impossible feats, but the mental fatigue of constantly being on alert and having to be at your best. Jaina was especially reluctant to acknowledge ho much her pregnancy was taking out of her. These days she needed more sleep than she had in years and she could no longer be content to survive on the one meal a day she habitually ate when fighting left time for nothing else.
In some ways, Jaina could almost feel herself loosing her edge. She knew it had much to do with her current circumstances, as it did with her pregnancy, but at times she longed to be able to talk to her aunt about it and see what advice the older woman had to give. If there was someone who knew about keeping your edge and having a child, it was Mara Jade Skywalker. That, however, was one thing Jaina and Jag had agreed on. They had decided to keep the news of her pregnancy quiet for the time being. It could only serve to make Jaina into more of a target for the Peace Brigade and the Yuuzhan Vong, and that was the last thing they needed.
"Goddess, Captain Bentar requests your presence on the bridge." The voice of the Lieutenant snapped her out of her thoughts and she rose to make her way to the lift.
Captain Bentar didn't have the genius of Ackbar and Wedge Antilles or even the ingenuity Jaina had become proficient with through the years, but she did have a good solid foundation in the basics of Vong fighting that provided a good balance and solid support for Jaina's plans.
"Captain," she said regally as she stepped off of the lift.
"I have news, Great One," she said deferentially.
Sensing the solid native of Tattooine didn't want this broadcast across the bridge, she stepped into a secluded corner with the Captain.
"What's happening Captain," she asked calmly. She had long ago developed the ability to sound calm when she really wasn't. This was one of those times. Besides at this point only her Jedi talents were keeping her from throwing up all over the bridge. The morning sickness part of pregnancy was not fun.
"We just received a message from the central fleet. An order for immediate recall has been issued."
"Did we get any new intelligence about the Vong?" Jaina asked.
"Yes, Goddess," she answered. She had long ago stopped fearing Jaina and now only acted like she did for potential spies. Behind closed doors they were even friends. It was nice to have a woman friend to sympathize with at times, especially in the mostly male military.
"I have reports with the specifics here," she handed Jaina several datacards. "You also have private messages."
"Thank you, Clarina," she said genuinely, but she was already distracted. Private messages meant just that, private, but it could still be any one, even one of her superiors. Hopefully it would be Jag.
She had to smother a smile as she thought about him. She couldn't wait until she saw him again. The hormones that were making her overly emotional were horrible things. She missed him even more than she usually did. She bumped into a crewman as she walked down the corridor and forced herself not to apologize to him and to remember to glare, as befitted her role.
She walked distractedly into her quarters and put the holochip containing the messages into the holoplayer. The first one was from Wedge Antilles.
"Colonel Solo," he said formally, "Your task force has just been sent orders to return to the rendezvous point. Our intelligence has been confirmed, both the Supreme Overlord and the current Warmaster will be there. Your plan has been authorized and the forces you requested are fully briefed and at your disposal." He cleared his throat awkwardly and Jaina saw the flash of nervousness on his face. Even Wedge, one of the best and most confident military leaders in the galaxy had ever seen was worried about this battle.
"I guess I don't need to tell you this battle is important or give you some inspirational speech, because you already know that. You've accepted a lot of burdens at a young age, but you've always excelled. I trust your skills, Jaina, as a pilot, a Jedi and a Goddess. So just let me say 'Good Luck' and may the force be with you."
His image fizzed out, but Jaina kept staring. She hadn't expected that from Wedge, but she was pleased to hear it. She was proud that he had confidence in her abilities, but at the same time she was sad. Sad that at twenty-six, she had seen and caused more death and violence than most beings did in several lifetimes. Without really thinking about it, she spoke the long authorization code that would allow the next message to play. That was the other thing she was beginning to detest, her mood swings. Her emotions were becoming harder to control and that could be a deadly weakness. She brightened though, when she heard the hologram.
"Hi, Jaina. How's it going, big sister? I just uh," Jacen looked away distractedly, "Stop that Tenel Ka," he hissed away from Jaina and she giggled at her brother. "Um anyway," he said trying to look dignified, but failing with typical Solo charm, "I wanted to let you know that I'd be bringing those special forces that you requested with me. I hope you're okay, Jaina," he said more seriously. "I know you miss Jag."
He smiled sadly and touched his heart. "I know how you feel, Jaya. He'll be back soon." He smiled again, happier this time. "I'll see you soon. Don't do anything dangerous or stupid until I get there. I love you, Jaina."
She smiled, cheered up by her twin's message already. Yes, Jacen knew what she was feeling, but he always knew how to cheer her up, as well. She was glad she would be seeing her twin again in a few days. It would be well worth it.
She spoke the letters for the last message impatiently. Jacen's message had put her in a better mood and she didn't want to ruin that. She turned and started to rise as the last message began playing.
Jaina froze when she heard the voice, her eyes falling shut to savor it as she sank back into the chair. Drawing her knees up to her chest, Jaina listened to it all the way through, simply savoring the sound of his voice. "Jag," she whispered, her hand passing through his image as she ordered it to start playing again.
This time she sat forward on the edge of her seat, watching everything and listening intently. "Hello, Darling," he said softly. "I miss you so much and I hope you're okay."
Jaina knew exactly what he was referring to and smiled, happy that he was concerned about her and their child.
"You know I can't give you any details, in case this is intercepted, but I will tell you that we've been very successful. From what I've heard, the fighting's been more intense where you are, but you've still succeeded as usual." He smiled at her, not the small smile he gave her in public, but the huge smile he demonstrated only in private. "I have to go, Jaina, but I just want you to know I was thinking about you. I love you, Darling."
Jaina sighed in frustration and leaned back in her chair. This child was giving her a lot to think about. She felt trapped by her responsibilities and people's expectations, but at the same time she didn't want to raise her child as she had been raised, by nannies and droids. Her parent's absence was the worst.
She had hoped when Mara was pregnant with Ben that her Aunt would be capable of finding that balance between duty and parenthood, but she hadn't. Ben had actually been raised a lot like she was, and she was no better off for it. There had to be another way, if only she could find it. She would find it. After all there had to be some perks to being a Yuuzhan Vong Goddess and the Sword of The Jedi.
Author's note: Lady Leila: I'm trying I swear.
Trickster Jaina: I know, I know. I had originally planned Jaina's pregnancy before I got the plot bunny about Leia. I wasn't sure if it would take away the effect of it, but the bunny just wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it.
Flute Kahlan Solo Fel: Thank you and I wondered if I was the only one who had freaked out a parent by doing that.
Black wings or Master Solo: Well you'll just have to wait and see.
Jedimaster-jaina-solo: I'm glad you liked it and I hope this part meets your standards.
Sticks: You said it! I have a mental picture of Jag as a great dad. Besides can't you just see the combination of the solo charm and the fel looks.
________________________________________________________________
That night they lay on the bunk in their quarters in icy silence. They had resumed their planning duties for the rest of the day and had even come up with several new tactics guaranteed to be sever distractions to the Vong, as well as combining their current tactics into a tactically sound and extremely efficient plan.
"Jaina," he asked quietly, unsure if she was still awake.
"Yes, Jag," she said harshly.
"We need to talk, Jaina. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just worried about both of you."
Almost reluctantly, she rolled over to face him. "I'm worried too." She caught his hand and placed it on her abdomen. "I don't want anything to happen to the three of us. But, Jag, I can't just walk away from this now. With this fight coming up, we need all of the soldiers we can get."
"I know," he said in a monotone voice. He took a deep breath and struggled to collect his thoughts.
"I know we didn't plan this Jag and I'm sorry."
"No," he said firmly and placed a finger on her lips to silence her. "No, I'm not upset about this, Darling. In fact, I think I'm very happy."
If Jaina hadn't been laying down, she would have fallen over in shock at the wide, earsplitting grin that was covering Jag's usually reserved face. She laughed lightly and kissed him. Gently she laid her head on his chest. "I don't want this child's life to be in danger as he or she grows up. I want to be there with them as they grow up. I don't want to be a galactic hero who's not there for all of the little normal everyday things kids do and go through, but I have to be in this battle."
"I have to leave soon," Jag reminded her after a long moment.
"I know," she said quietly, "but we'll see each other before the fighting starts right?"
"Yes. The battle group should reform a day or so before the fight."
"Practice hard," Jaina said, trying to keep the tone of their parting light. The main task force that would be facing the Vong was being split in two smaller pieces and sent on real 'practice' missions designed to make the Vong think the Galactic Alliance had no idea of the up coming attack and to also to distract them.
They had decided earlier that day that Jag would go with the other section of the task force. It would be almost two weeks before they saw each other again. This wasn't the first time they had been separated by the war and it was often for longer periods of time, but they still didn't like it, especially now.
"After this is over, we have to do something about this," Jaina said definitely.
"We certainly do," agreed Jag. Leaving the most important discussions for later, they took advantage of the time they had left to enjoy each others company because neither knew when something could happen to the other.
________________________________________________________________
The next two weeks were filled with constant flying and fighting that reminded Jaina of the early days of the war where the only thing that could be accomplished was a fighting retreat. Each battle they survived was a kind of victory in itself.
The beings that made up her squadron were all superb pilots and the small Jedi meld they had developed worked very well. Despite all of this, though, fatigue began to set in. Not just the physical fatigue of long hours and impossible feats, but the mental fatigue of constantly being on alert and having to be at your best. Jaina was especially reluctant to acknowledge ho much her pregnancy was taking out of her. These days she needed more sleep than she had in years and she could no longer be content to survive on the one meal a day she habitually ate when fighting left time for nothing else.
In some ways, Jaina could almost feel herself loosing her edge. She knew it had much to do with her current circumstances, as it did with her pregnancy, but at times she longed to be able to talk to her aunt about it and see what advice the older woman had to give. If there was someone who knew about keeping your edge and having a child, it was Mara Jade Skywalker. That, however, was one thing Jaina and Jag had agreed on. They had decided to keep the news of her pregnancy quiet for the time being. It could only serve to make Jaina into more of a target for the Peace Brigade and the Yuuzhan Vong, and that was the last thing they needed.
"Goddess, Captain Bentar requests your presence on the bridge." The voice of the Lieutenant snapped her out of her thoughts and she rose to make her way to the lift.
Captain Bentar didn't have the genius of Ackbar and Wedge Antilles or even the ingenuity Jaina had become proficient with through the years, but she did have a good solid foundation in the basics of Vong fighting that provided a good balance and solid support for Jaina's plans.
"Captain," she said regally as she stepped off of the lift.
"I have news, Great One," she said deferentially.
Sensing the solid native of Tattooine didn't want this broadcast across the bridge, she stepped into a secluded corner with the Captain.
"What's happening Captain," she asked calmly. She had long ago developed the ability to sound calm when she really wasn't. This was one of those times. Besides at this point only her Jedi talents were keeping her from throwing up all over the bridge. The morning sickness part of pregnancy was not fun.
"We just received a message from the central fleet. An order for immediate recall has been issued."
"Did we get any new intelligence about the Vong?" Jaina asked.
"Yes, Goddess," she answered. She had long ago stopped fearing Jaina and now only acted like she did for potential spies. Behind closed doors they were even friends. It was nice to have a woman friend to sympathize with at times, especially in the mostly male military.
"I have reports with the specifics here," she handed Jaina several datacards. "You also have private messages."
"Thank you, Clarina," she said genuinely, but she was already distracted. Private messages meant just that, private, but it could still be any one, even one of her superiors. Hopefully it would be Jag.
She had to smother a smile as she thought about him. She couldn't wait until she saw him again. The hormones that were making her overly emotional were horrible things. She missed him even more than she usually did. She bumped into a crewman as she walked down the corridor and forced herself not to apologize to him and to remember to glare, as befitted her role.
She walked distractedly into her quarters and put the holochip containing the messages into the holoplayer. The first one was from Wedge Antilles.
"Colonel Solo," he said formally, "Your task force has just been sent orders to return to the rendezvous point. Our intelligence has been confirmed, both the Supreme Overlord and the current Warmaster will be there. Your plan has been authorized and the forces you requested are fully briefed and at your disposal." He cleared his throat awkwardly and Jaina saw the flash of nervousness on his face. Even Wedge, one of the best and most confident military leaders in the galaxy had ever seen was worried about this battle.
"I guess I don't need to tell you this battle is important or give you some inspirational speech, because you already know that. You've accepted a lot of burdens at a young age, but you've always excelled. I trust your skills, Jaina, as a pilot, a Jedi and a Goddess. So just let me say 'Good Luck' and may the force be with you."
His image fizzed out, but Jaina kept staring. She hadn't expected that from Wedge, but she was pleased to hear it. She was proud that he had confidence in her abilities, but at the same time she was sad. Sad that at twenty-six, she had seen and caused more death and violence than most beings did in several lifetimes. Without really thinking about it, she spoke the long authorization code that would allow the next message to play. That was the other thing she was beginning to detest, her mood swings. Her emotions were becoming harder to control and that could be a deadly weakness. She brightened though, when she heard the hologram.
"Hi, Jaina. How's it going, big sister? I just uh," Jacen looked away distractedly, "Stop that Tenel Ka," he hissed away from Jaina and she giggled at her brother. "Um anyway," he said trying to look dignified, but failing with typical Solo charm, "I wanted to let you know that I'd be bringing those special forces that you requested with me. I hope you're okay, Jaina," he said more seriously. "I know you miss Jag."
He smiled sadly and touched his heart. "I know how you feel, Jaya. He'll be back soon." He smiled again, happier this time. "I'll see you soon. Don't do anything dangerous or stupid until I get there. I love you, Jaina."
She smiled, cheered up by her twin's message already. Yes, Jacen knew what she was feeling, but he always knew how to cheer her up, as well. She was glad she would be seeing her twin again in a few days. It would be well worth it.
She spoke the letters for the last message impatiently. Jacen's message had put her in a better mood and she didn't want to ruin that. She turned and started to rise as the last message began playing.
Jaina froze when she heard the voice, her eyes falling shut to savor it as she sank back into the chair. Drawing her knees up to her chest, Jaina listened to it all the way through, simply savoring the sound of his voice. "Jag," she whispered, her hand passing through his image as she ordered it to start playing again.
This time she sat forward on the edge of her seat, watching everything and listening intently. "Hello, Darling," he said softly. "I miss you so much and I hope you're okay."
Jaina knew exactly what he was referring to and smiled, happy that he was concerned about her and their child.
"You know I can't give you any details, in case this is intercepted, but I will tell you that we've been very successful. From what I've heard, the fighting's been more intense where you are, but you've still succeeded as usual." He smiled at her, not the small smile he gave her in public, but the huge smile he demonstrated only in private. "I have to go, Jaina, but I just want you to know I was thinking about you. I love you, Darling."
Jaina sighed in frustration and leaned back in her chair. This child was giving her a lot to think about. She felt trapped by her responsibilities and people's expectations, but at the same time she didn't want to raise her child as she had been raised, by nannies and droids. Her parent's absence was the worst.
She had hoped when Mara was pregnant with Ben that her Aunt would be capable of finding that balance between duty and parenthood, but she hadn't. Ben had actually been raised a lot like she was, and she was no better off for it. There had to be another way, if only she could find it. She would find it. After all there had to be some perks to being a Yuuzhan Vong Goddess and the Sword of The Jedi.