Breakdown
Chapter Two

Tobias gently shook Rachel's shoulder. "Rachel. Rachel, wake up. You have a phone call."
Rachel's eyes fluttered open. She groaned when she felt the general ache throughout her body. "What?"
"A phone call," Tobias repeated. "It's Jordan."
"Oh. Kay." Rachel winced as the pounding in her head returned when she tried to sit up. "I'll be there in a minute." Tobias nodded and left.
Fighting nausea with every movement, Rachel slowly pushed herself out of bed. She needed more aspirin, obviously. She slowly left the room and went to the table that held the phone in the hallway. Rachel picked up the receiver. "Jordan?"
"Hi, Rachel!"
Rachel winced. "Please, keep your voice down."
"Oh, so you really are sick."
"Don't sound so excited. How did you hear?"
"Mom. She's been freaking out all afternoon. She's been in meetings all day, so she only heard highlights of the press conference. Including the part about you being sick."
"They made Mom work today? Nobody else in the city has to."
"That's what I thought. I didn't even think Mom would have a job for long after the war ended. In science fiction movies, events like. . . that are supposed to usher in a new era of peace, love and understanding."
"Yeah. But I never believed that. People are always going to sue eachother. We're inherently greedy like that."
"I guess. So, anyway, Mom can't get out of her meetings long enough to have a proper conversation with you so she asked me to call to make sure you're not dead."
"I'm definitely not dead. I kind of wish I was right now, but I'm not quite yet."
"What is it? The flu? Sara's just getting over that."
"Um, it might be. I have been throwing up."
"Yuck. I don't think I'll tell Mom that. She'd freak and make you tell her where you live so she can take care of you. I told her she needs to let up a little bit. You're 17, legally emancipated, not to mention a bona fide super hero. You can take care of yourself."
"I don't feel like it now."
Jordan paused for a moment. "Y'know, Rachel, you do sound really bad. Maybe you should tell me where you are. I haven't seen you in months."
"No, you can't come over here," Rachel said quickly. She'd worked hard to keep her home a secret from her friends and family. She'd visited the other Animorphs, or she'd seen their homes on TV. They were all beautiful houses with perfectly manicured lawns in sitcom worthy neighborhoods. Except for Marco; he had a mansion in Beverly Hills. Rachel and Tobias were the only ones who hadn't made a name of some kind for themselves. Rachel remained secluded in the apartment most of the time - leaving only when she needed to convince someone to buy beer for her, or when she got really sick of Tobias mostly - and Tobias was a marginally successful artist and writer, working under a pseudonym. Neither of them wanted the fame and fortune that came with being an Animorph. It was way too shallow. "I'm going to take some more medicine," Rachel assured her sister. "Then I'm going back to bed. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow."
"And I'm sure Mom will call in the morning to be sure of that."
"I'll be expecting her. Tell her and Sara I love them."
"I will. Um, you sure I can't come over."
"Positive. I'll talk to you later."
Jordan sighed. "Okay. Bye."
Both sisters hung up her phone.
"So how's the family?" Tobias called from the living room.
Rachel shuffled to the end of the hallway then leaned against the wall to talk to Tobias. "Okay. Sara's getting over the flue. Mom heard I wasn't at the press conference so she had Jordan call to see how I was doing because Mom's in meetings all day."
"How are you doing?" Tobias stood up from the couch and crossed to Rachel. "Are you feeling better?"
"Not really. I think I need some aspirin."
"You go back to bed and I'll bring you some." He offered an arm to Rachel, but she waved him off so he went to the kitchen. The aspirin bottle was already on the counter. When Tobias opened it, his suspicion was confirmed: Rachel had already had some aspirin that day and had taken several. She really shouldn't have more, but they'd been through this before. After an episode like this morning's, Rachel would appear to be sincerely sorry and determined to be a model citizen from then on. But if she was crossed, especially when it came to medicine to make her head and other random aches stop, she was likely to leave again. She'd left for three days at a time before come back several times. So Tobias tapped three pills into his palm, a compromise between what Rachel wanted and what she could safely have, poured a glass of water and took both back to the bedroom.
Rachel was sitting up in the bed with the bedspread pulled up to her chin. She frowned when Tobias held out the aspirin. "Only three? I need a lot more than that for this headache."
"You can have more in a few hours," Tobias said as Rachel gulped down the pills and water. "You should go back to sleep."
"But I'm not tired," Rachel said, but Tobias could tell she was lying. Even with a monster hangover, Rachel didn't want to seem weak. She thought sleep was a sign of weakness, but didn't see anything wrong with drinking to excess? Sometimes Tobias really wanted to get into her head to figure her out.
"Then stay here and rest. You're not feeling well. I don't want you to make it worse."
Rachel frowned. "Fine."
The look in her eyes worried Tobias. It was angry, dangerous. Was she already planning on taking off again? He hadn't done anything to really piss her off, and unless something extreme happened, she was always sober for at least a week before she went on another binge. Then again, she'd never been under the stress of the anniversary of the end of the war. Everyone had their own way of dealing with the war's end. Rachel's was the only method that was self-destructive and was progressively getting worse.
Tobias gently kissed Rachel's forehead. She was almost asleep already so Tobias grabbed his pillow and took it to the couch. He had a perch in the corner of the bedroom where he usually slept in his hawk body, but sharing a room with hung over Rachel was never fun. She tossed and turned and had a habit of talking in her sleep. He'd learned after the first few times to sleep perched on the couch if he wanted any rest that night.
When the bedroom light clicked off, Rachel opened one eye, then the other. She listened intently as Tobias went to the living room and the old couch squeaked as he laid down. The TV turned on, so Rachel had a little freedom to move around. She quietly changed into more seasonable, and much sexier, clothes, then did her hair and make up all by moonlight since she didn't want to risk Tobias seeing the bedroom light under the door.
When the TV turned off, Rachel jumped back into bed, in case Tobias came to check on her again. When he hadn't half an hour later, Rachel knew it was safe. She grabbed her purse from under the bed and tiptoed out.
She paused when she reached the living room to listen for Tobias. She heard deep, even human breathing. Something wasn't quite right with that, but -
"Ow!" Rachel's arm shot up to shield her eyes from the sudden light that flooded the room.
"Where are you doing, Rachel?"
"Tobias! Um, I was getting more aspirin. Did I wake you? I'm sorry."
"You're dressed in cutoffs and a tank top and have your purse just to get aspirin?" Tobias got up, crossed to Rachel and put his hands on her shoulders. "Rachel, what's wrong? You need to talk to me."
Rachel pushed his hands away. "Nothing's wrong."
Tobias reached for Rachel again and caught her left arm. The arm covered in scratches from the broken bottle. "I think this is something, Rachel." Rachel turned her head away. The movement happened to reveal the hickey on her neck. She hadn't been able to see it well enough to cover it with makeup. Tobias gently ran his thumb over it. "And this. . . . What's happening, Rachel?"
"I need to go out. Let me go."
"Not until you talk to me."
"And not until you let me go."
"I can't, Rachel. I don't want this," he indicated her arm, "or worse to happen to you again."
"Nothing's going to happen. I'm just gonna go down to the gas station and -"
"Ask someone to buy a case of beer for you? In return for what? A can? Two? Money? Sex?"
Rachel gasped. Tobias had never even hinted that he suspected anything.
"That's how you go the hickey, isn't it? You wanted booze, so you offered some guy sex!" Rachel mumbled something. "What?"
"I didn't offer him anything."
Tobias stared at Rachel in shock. "You mean he -"
"No, he didn't rape me. But it wasn't my idea."
Now Tobias' shock turned to anger. "Why do you do this, Rachel? You are worth more than that! And so is our relationship. Or so I thought."
"Tobias, you're everything to me."
"No, Rachel. The booze is. You have a problem and we've ignored it for long enough. I want to help you, but you're gonna have to make a choice."
Rachel gritted her teeth. "I don't have a problem. If I had a problem, you'd know it!" She pushed Tobias hard, practically throwing him across the room. She picked up her purse from where she'd dropped it at some point, then ran from the apartment.
Tobias lay on the floor for a moment, stunned, before he picked himself up. Should he call someone? Her mother, the police? No. Naomi would have a heart attack, and who would believe that Rachel the Animorph was an alcoholic? On the rare occasions she was seen out in public, she was nothing less than perfect.
Maybe I should just leave her. . . but he couldn't do that. He couldn't let Rachel make the wrong choice in this situation. He'd have to find her himself. He ran from the apartment and down the stairs in his bare feet, taking stairs two or three at a time. But when he reached the street there was no sign of Rachel.
Tobias quickly demorphed. He was close to the two hour limit already. With all of Rachel's problems he hadn't felt ready to give up his wings permanently. He'd never been thankful for his reluctance before tonight. It took a moment of concentration, but he soon felt his bird body grow stockier. His head and beak reshaped themselves into the rounder face of an owl. His feathers changed, became white and soundless. In minutes he was a great horned owl and with a few powerful flaps he was in the air, searching for Rachel.
Rachel was several blocks away at this point. She knew as soon as Tobias was able he'd come after her, and he'd be able to morph. She'd considered doing so herself, but realized she wouldn't be able to carry her purse in any practical morph she had. And she wasn't wearing her morphing suit. Her clothes were tight, but not that tight, and a naked young woman would last two minutes in this neighborhood. Already Rachel attracting the attention of all the homeless men she passed.
Rachel had never been happier to see a 7-11 in her life. She sprinted the last few yards to the door and once inside ducked into the candy aisle so no prying animal eyes could see her.
The woman behind the counter looked up from her tabloid and eyed Rachel skeptically. "No soliciting in here, darling."
Rachel was confused for a moment, but then realized her clothes made her look like a hooker. "Oh, I'm not. I'm hiding from my boyfriend."
The woman's look softened immediately. "Oh you poor thing. The bastard gave you those scratches and bruises?" Rachel nodded miserably. She didn't care if she was lying. Besides, he'd gripped her arm so hard she wouldn't have been surprised to find finger shaped bruises forming. "Do you want to call the cops?"
"No, I'll be fine. I think he ran the other way."
"You're lucky. But why don't you want to turn him in? You're a beautiful young woman, you can do better."
Rachel sighed and said quietly, "No, I can't."
"What?"
"Um, I just don't want to. They. . . they haven't listened before."
The woman snorted. "Bastards."
"Yeah." Rachel wandered to the back of the store to where the alcohol was. She picked up a case of Budweiser and, after a moment of consideration, a bottle of it too. She could carry that around with her easier. She took her drinks up to the clerk.
"I'll need to see some ID," the woman said apologetically.
Rachel restrained herself from cursing. She made a point of digging through her purse, apparently unable to find her wallet. "My boyfriend probably took it for my credit cards."
"I'm sorry, honey, but I can't sell you this without an ID. I could easily lose my job if I did."
"Whatever," Rachel muttered. She grabbed her purse and stalked out. She looked up at the sky as soon as she was outside, to be sure Tobias hadn't followed here. She didn't see him, but that wasn't a guarantee he wasn't nearby.
"Rachel?"
Rachel jumped, ready to fight, adrenaline pumping. But she relaxed as soon as she saw who was coming towards her. It wasn't Tobias, or anyone he knew who could bring her back. It was Marissa, one of the prostitutes Rachel had met out here. The nicest one of the bunch. "Hi, Marissa."
"So it is you! How you doin', girl? Watchu doin' out here? Ain't seen you in ages."
"I've been. . . around."
Marissa appraised Rachel's outfit. "You workin' a corner tonight?"
"Not exactly."
"you'd make good money off it. Wit your looks, damn, you'd be rich!"
"Like you're not?" Marissa had a shapely body and the loveliest chocolate colored skin Rachel had ever seen and beautiful shoulder length hair she highlighted. She could have been a model or an actor, but Marissa said she had too much fun on the street.
"I'm not. You know how much shit cost now?"
That was the other thing keeping Marissa out of show business. The needle tracks on her arms were the only blemishes on her skin. When she was paid after a job, the first thing Marissa did most nights was find her dealer and buy as much as she could. If Tobias wants someone with a problem, he only needs to look at Marissa.
"I don't. The closest I get to any shit is alcohol."
Marissa nodded. She didn't mind that, comparatively, Rachel was a saint. Rachel was good company on slow nights and there weren't many people out there who shared Marissa's desire to talk about anything but the past. "So watchu out here for?"
"Looking for a place that won't card me. Or someone to buy for me," Rachel added with a pleading look for Marissa.
"Sorry, I ain't got no ID. I don't know of any open place that don't card, neither. But I may have some back at my place. You need it now?"
"Hey, babies. What's it cost for both of you lovely ladies to spend some time with me?"
Marissa rolled her eyes at Rachel. She hadn't seen the man behind her, but she could already tell from his tone of voice that he was new to the scene. Probably a bored husband. Rachel stifled a giggle. She and Marissa had gossiped about this type of guy before.
Marissa spun around to face the man. "Watchu mean, what do it cost?" she demanded. "Men like you make me sick. Thinkin' you can buy sex, jus' 'cause we be a couple of fine women out at night. Go fuck youself, it's all you can afford." She grabbed Rachel's arm and led her past the shocked man. Both were fighting against giggles, but when they rounded the corner they lost.
"That was priceless!" Rachel gasped. "The way his eyes bugged out of his head!"
"You think he never heard fuck before!" Marissa was close to collapsing with laughter.
When they were calmed down, Marissa and Rachel stood up. "What was I sayin' before he came? Oh yeah, you be needin' stuff now?"
"I don't want to cut into your work. I can wait."
"You know where I live, right?" Marissa pulled a key out of her bra and tossed it to Rachel. "Go there. Chill. Jist leave the door unlocked in case I be comin' back wit someone. Help youself to whatever."
"You're a lifesaver, Marissa."
"'Course I be. Now git. Most ain't stupid like that one. They don't talk to two girls at one."
Marissa's apartment was only a block away and, despite Marissa's many unsavory habits, it was actually in a better neighborhood than Rachel's. No one was passed out on the front stoop, and inside it smelled of disinfectant, rather than dirt and cigarettes. She even had a working elevator.
It took Rachel next to no time to find Marissa's place. Once inside, the first thing Rachel found was the refrigerator. Unfortunately, it was clean. Nothing stronger than Mountain Dew was inside.
Rachel wandered around the apartment, looking first in kitchen cupboards, then in more obscure places like bathroom closets for some booze. She found several baggies of drugs and some needles, and was actually tempted to try some, but she wasn't about to contract some sort of disease by using Marissa's needle.
Rachel was just peeking into Marissa's room when she heard the front door open. "Rachel?"
Rachel jumped away from the bedroom like she'd been caught doing something wrong. "Yeah, Marissa?"
Marissa came into the hallway. "How you feel 'bout workin' it tonight?"
"It?"
"Guy came up to me right after you left and asked what it cost to spend time wit you. I say you ain't one of us, but he really like you. He say he pay anything."
Rachel's brow furrowed. "How much is 'anything'?"
Marissa rolled her eyes at Rachel's naivety. "Anything you want, girl! You could easily ask for a thousand. 'Specially if he be wantin' somethin' kinky. No more sleepin' for booze, Rachel. You be workin' for real money!"
"But where - and how? I've never done this with a sober guy before. Never done it witch a random guy when I was sober."
"Pretend he be that fine boyfriend you always talkin' 'bout. And you use my room. I got enough shit to last me till tomorrow."
Rachel took a deep breath. She was going to need more than the twenty she'd left the apartment with. "Where's he at?"
Marissa grinned. "In the hall."
"Okay." Rachel started for the door. "Wait, Marissa!"
"Now what?"
"What do I say first? My price? What does he want?"
"That first. When you know what he want, then you give him a price. Now go. He'll leave!" Marissa gave Rachel a hard shove towards the door.
Rachel stumbled across the living room and kitchen. She still wasn't completely recovered from her hangover. Her hand was trembling when she reached for the door knob. "Um, hi," Rachel whispered when she had the door open. Then she took a steadying breath and forced herself to look into the man's eyes. "Hello," she said with more confidence and as seductively as she could manage.
And it wasn't hard to want to seduce this man once she saw him. He was Rachel's height with brunette hair and honey skin and built like no one she'd ever seen in real life.
The man licked his lips when he got a good look at Rachel. "Hello yourself."
Rachel leaned against the door frame, trying to ignore the dull ache in her head and the trembling of her fingers. Instead she focused on his dark brown eyes, his sensuous moth, and the burning feeling his presence was eliciting between her legs. "I hear you asked for me?"
"I think every many on the street wants to ask for you, I just got here first."
"Mm, well, aren't you the lucky one." Rachel could feel herself getting into the act now. She reached out a hand for the man's shoulder. "Why don't you come in and we can talk about this." She trailed her hand around and down to his chest, then took the man's necktie and used it as a leash to lead him to Marissa's bedroom.
Both the man and Rachel were shocked when they entered Marissa's room. Marissa had ever S/M toy Rachel had ever imagined, and then some. Rachel almost lost her nerve then, but she reminded herself of the money she'd be getting and what she could get with that money. Besides, maybe he just wants a blow job.
The man slipped from Rachel's grasp and wandered around the room, occasionally touching the toys Marissa had on display.
"So what did you have in mind?" Rachel asked the man as soon as she slipped back into the right mindset.
"Nothing like this," the man said as he admired Marissa's handcuff collection. He looked to Rachel. "None of this is yours, is it?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Then I won't ask to use it. Much," he added as he picked up a handful of silk scarves. "I'm a simple guy. How much would you charge for, say, being tied to the bed posts with these. Blindfolded and gagged."
Rachel really didn't like the sound of that. When she had played with Tobias, she was always the dominant one. So give him an outrageous price and he'll leave! "Fifteen hundred."
"That's awful expensive, isn't it?"
"You get what you pay for."
"How about a thousand and I'll eat you out like no one has before."
Rachel couldn't keep her eyebrows from shooting up in surprise. The man couldn't fail at his promise, since no one had even offered her oral before. Tobias was too shy and the drunks only thought of themselves. But it sounded intriguing. "If you'll do that first, it's a deal."
The man smirked. "You don't trust me to stay awake long enough."
"It's happened before."
The man stepped close to Rachel. "Is it any extra to be rough?" he whispered.
"I charge extra only when you want it to be tame," Rachel whispered back.
"Good," the man hissed. He shoved Rachel back on the bed without warning then crawled over her. "You're not going to forget this. . .?"
"Rachel."
"Rachel," the man finished. He unbuttoned her shorts. "I'm Alex. You're not going to forget this."
You already said that, Rachel though absently. But soon she had more important things to think about.