Author's Note: Welcome to my new Naruto fanfic. A big thanks to all of you
who reviewed my last one and also to those who mentioned that they were
looking forward to my next. And a hello to you other readers as well. I
have a story status on my bio for minor details if you're curious. Or not.
If you like happy endings and really want one here, go away. This story is
not that and knows it too. For all you yaoi fangirls out there: I'm not a
very romantic person, so I'm not sure I could write a decent Naruto/Sasuke
pairing anyway. Sorry.
Also, this will be focusing on Sasuke's revenge and how much he will have to sacrifice to meet this end. THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CH. 181. This contains numerous profanities. This will also probably be shorter than Onyx Rain. You have been warned.
Even I, as independent as I may be, have found that I like reviews. Flames, constructive criticism, and complements. If I get even one or two, I will continue for the sake of those people. I still want reviews, though. Lots of them. Especially the ones with constructive criticism since I seek to further my writing abilities.
Sorry about this horribly, disgustingly long Author's Note. Hopefully this has encompassed all information necessary and I won't have to write another one.
Blah. I don't own Naruto, and you know it.
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I remember how she cried.
I remember the lamenting, the sorrow, the distress, the tears.
I remember the town whispering about how it was such a shame that the most prominent genin in Konoha had left it for an apprenticeship to a rank S criminal.
I remember how Kakashi's single visible eye became heavier and his step less bouncy. I remember how he actually began to come on time.
I remember it all.
To say the least, I'm pissed at Sasuke. He betrayed the trust of his home and his teammates. Especially Sakura. Her eyes are always puffy and red now; she's learning to put on a mask. Like me. She shouldn't need to.
I'm pissed at Sasuke because he always had all of the attention. He was always first in the village's eyes and he threw it away. He had the chance of friendship or even romance with Sakura. With me, he had the chance of a kickass rivalry. And he threw that away, too. He ignored me and my defeat of Gaara, my mastery of the Rasengan, and my saving his ass from Haku, for chrissakes! Fuck him, that bastard! Hell, I'm doing a better job of protecting this village than he would!
. . .
And I guess I am in a twisted way. I'm protecting them by being everything they hate; by becoming their scapegoat. I am their fears. I am the one who keeps them united: as long as they hate me, they have common ground. They can work better together.
There's another thing I don't understand about Sasuke.
Why revenge? I mean, yeah, I guess his brother killed his parents and all. I know that's nothing to take lightly, but really? You want the truth?
I have more of a reason to want revenge than he does.
And the funny thing is, I don't.
At least he got the chance to have a family. As they say, "It's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all."
He knew and had a mother to tuck him in at night, to tell him bedtime stories and to peek under the bed to show him that no, there were no monsters under there. He knew and had a father to look up to, to be proud of, to call him son and pull him onto his shoulders with a chuckle and show him what the world would look like once he was bigger.
I had cold stares from the villagers and an empty apartment to come home to. I was terrified of the dark and had trouble sleeping, I couldn't get help for my schoolwork because there was no one to show me how. I didn't know how to cook or clean and I still don't. I had no one to kiss my scratches when I was little to make them feel all better.
I lived in the cold, lonely places that nobody talks about. Sasuke was never as alone as I was. He. . .they cared about him, but he pushed them away. He could have accepted Konoha's undying care, but he. . . God, what a fucking bastard!
I'm lucky I got Iruka. He's the one who saved me from my own private little hell, really. I might've died if he hadn't showed up. He's kind of like an older brother to me.
I wish I could wake up. I wish that this was all a horrible dream that wasn't real. I wish that I could wake up and yell for my mom so she comes running in to comfort me and to tell me that her and dad will always be there. 'Don't worry, Naruto-chan,' she'd say. 'It was just a nightmare.'
Yeah, I wish.
And I wish Sasuke would acknowledge me. I wish he'd at least have the decency to call me his rival instead of pretending I'm weaker than him when I'm not. And I think he knows it, too, but its hard to see behind his wall. Its hard to see behind my wall, too, but mine's higher than Sasuke's.
Yep, that's me. The idiot, the carefree loser that everyone tries to ignore. On the surface, that's who I am. It works so well to fool them. Too well: they don't think I actually have any feelings.
I used to scream and cry when I was little. I used to punch holes in the walls.
I'm over all that now. Iruka was the one who pulled me through and I adopted pranks as another way of defining my existence.
A part of that façade is still me, though. I am determined and I am strong and I am going to be Hokage one day. In that respect I am true.
I'm not as stupid as I pretend to be.
And doesn't everyone pretend sometimes? Whether it's imaginary friends or your social mask, you're adding something to the raw you for a purpose. You don't act the same with your friends as you do with your enemies.
Sasuke's mask isn't perfect. I can see the hatred in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He tries to act devoid of emotion so people don't make assumptions, but really it's best to cover one emotion with another like I do.
I want to scream at him and hit him and knock his shining white teeth out of his pretty, girlish face. I want to pound him so hard that he'll HAVE to see me there, standing right in front of him.
I know I'll have a chance to do something soon. He never leaves anything unfinished, and he has yet to finish me off and prove once and for all that he's stronger than me or whatever. The scary part is that I know he'll be back.
He's going to try to kill me. He sees me as merely an obstacle; just a bump on the road to Itachi. He doesn't know I'm real. He's too used to the villagers telling him that I was weak and a bad influence.
I'm afraid he's started to see people as things instead of people. That's where problems start. As soon as you believe that someone is a thing - to be used, abused, and discarded - than you have lost your conscience. You have lost yourself.
If Orochimaru has told him about the Kyuubi. . . he'll probably think it was only fair if he used his cursed seal. This could turn out more bloody than expected.
And still, the only thing that I can think to say besides cursing Sasuke in every way imaginable. . . . .
Is that I think that only one of us is gonna come out of this alive.
Also, this will be focusing on Sasuke's revenge and how much he will have to sacrifice to meet this end. THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR CH. 181. This contains numerous profanities. This will also probably be shorter than Onyx Rain. You have been warned.
Even I, as independent as I may be, have found that I like reviews. Flames, constructive criticism, and complements. If I get even one or two, I will continue for the sake of those people. I still want reviews, though. Lots of them. Especially the ones with constructive criticism since I seek to further my writing abilities.
Sorry about this horribly, disgustingly long Author's Note. Hopefully this has encompassed all information necessary and I won't have to write another one.
Blah. I don't own Naruto, and you know it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
I remember how she cried.
I remember the lamenting, the sorrow, the distress, the tears.
I remember the town whispering about how it was such a shame that the most prominent genin in Konoha had left it for an apprenticeship to a rank S criminal.
I remember how Kakashi's single visible eye became heavier and his step less bouncy. I remember how he actually began to come on time.
I remember it all.
To say the least, I'm pissed at Sasuke. He betrayed the trust of his home and his teammates. Especially Sakura. Her eyes are always puffy and red now; she's learning to put on a mask. Like me. She shouldn't need to.
I'm pissed at Sasuke because he always had all of the attention. He was always first in the village's eyes and he threw it away. He had the chance of friendship or even romance with Sakura. With me, he had the chance of a kickass rivalry. And he threw that away, too. He ignored me and my defeat of Gaara, my mastery of the Rasengan, and my saving his ass from Haku, for chrissakes! Fuck him, that bastard! Hell, I'm doing a better job of protecting this village than he would!
. . .
And I guess I am in a twisted way. I'm protecting them by being everything they hate; by becoming their scapegoat. I am their fears. I am the one who keeps them united: as long as they hate me, they have common ground. They can work better together.
There's another thing I don't understand about Sasuke.
Why revenge? I mean, yeah, I guess his brother killed his parents and all. I know that's nothing to take lightly, but really? You want the truth?
I have more of a reason to want revenge than he does.
And the funny thing is, I don't.
At least he got the chance to have a family. As they say, "It's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all."
He knew and had a mother to tuck him in at night, to tell him bedtime stories and to peek under the bed to show him that no, there were no monsters under there. He knew and had a father to look up to, to be proud of, to call him son and pull him onto his shoulders with a chuckle and show him what the world would look like once he was bigger.
I had cold stares from the villagers and an empty apartment to come home to. I was terrified of the dark and had trouble sleeping, I couldn't get help for my schoolwork because there was no one to show me how. I didn't know how to cook or clean and I still don't. I had no one to kiss my scratches when I was little to make them feel all better.
I lived in the cold, lonely places that nobody talks about. Sasuke was never as alone as I was. He. . .they cared about him, but he pushed them away. He could have accepted Konoha's undying care, but he. . . God, what a fucking bastard!
I'm lucky I got Iruka. He's the one who saved me from my own private little hell, really. I might've died if he hadn't showed up. He's kind of like an older brother to me.
I wish I could wake up. I wish that this was all a horrible dream that wasn't real. I wish that I could wake up and yell for my mom so she comes running in to comfort me and to tell me that her and dad will always be there. 'Don't worry, Naruto-chan,' she'd say. 'It was just a nightmare.'
Yeah, I wish.
And I wish Sasuke would acknowledge me. I wish he'd at least have the decency to call me his rival instead of pretending I'm weaker than him when I'm not. And I think he knows it, too, but its hard to see behind his wall. Its hard to see behind my wall, too, but mine's higher than Sasuke's.
Yep, that's me. The idiot, the carefree loser that everyone tries to ignore. On the surface, that's who I am. It works so well to fool them. Too well: they don't think I actually have any feelings.
I used to scream and cry when I was little. I used to punch holes in the walls.
I'm over all that now. Iruka was the one who pulled me through and I adopted pranks as another way of defining my existence.
A part of that façade is still me, though. I am determined and I am strong and I am going to be Hokage one day. In that respect I am true.
I'm not as stupid as I pretend to be.
And doesn't everyone pretend sometimes? Whether it's imaginary friends or your social mask, you're adding something to the raw you for a purpose. You don't act the same with your friends as you do with your enemies.
Sasuke's mask isn't perfect. I can see the hatred in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He tries to act devoid of emotion so people don't make assumptions, but really it's best to cover one emotion with another like I do.
I want to scream at him and hit him and knock his shining white teeth out of his pretty, girlish face. I want to pound him so hard that he'll HAVE to see me there, standing right in front of him.
I know I'll have a chance to do something soon. He never leaves anything unfinished, and he has yet to finish me off and prove once and for all that he's stronger than me or whatever. The scary part is that I know he'll be back.
He's going to try to kill me. He sees me as merely an obstacle; just a bump on the road to Itachi. He doesn't know I'm real. He's too used to the villagers telling him that I was weak and a bad influence.
I'm afraid he's started to see people as things instead of people. That's where problems start. As soon as you believe that someone is a thing - to be used, abused, and discarded - than you have lost your conscience. You have lost yourself.
If Orochimaru has told him about the Kyuubi. . . he'll probably think it was only fair if he used his cursed seal. This could turn out more bloody than expected.
And still, the only thing that I can think to say besides cursing Sasuke in every way imaginable. . . . .
Is that I think that only one of us is gonna come out of this alive.