Author's Note: Bwahaha. No, I'll never do the retarded "50 reviews" thing
(I have a hard time writing long chapters anyway). THANK YOU TO MY SINGLE
REVIEWER! In other news, I know it sounds a lot like all the other angsty
Naruto fics out there, but be patient with me. Also, I tried to tone down
the vocabulary and say things a little more the way Naruto might in the
previous chapter. This is a huge contrast to Onyx Rain in that I'm focusing
completely on the characters as opposed to the elements. Phew. 3rd person
POV next chapter and a plot, even. Observe Sasuke's internal conflict.
Consume, consume.
The time has come.
I can feel it in the newly acquired strength that fills my body to the brim, flowing fit to burst out in a torrent of power. It is the training I received from Orochimaru that has accomplished it, and therefore I have no regrets for the abandoning of Konoha. There is only one thing left for me to do there anyway. I don't need those incompetent fools and their inferior D-rank missions that do nothing for my benefit.
And I'm prepared to do what I must. I'm ready to face my so-called rival. I'm ready to prove to Itachi that I am more important and I am more of a threat than that dead-last loser.
I distinctly recall the rage I fell into when I met Itachi for the first time in years. He treated me as a nothing; a nobody. I, his own brother, am but a worthless amoeba living beneath the heel of his boot. I am not worthy of his quickest glance or of a second of his time.
He has more interest in the joke of Team 7, the prankster of Konoha, the most largely ignored child in all the village - than me. I had needed the entirety of my willpower to suppress my anger at that time.
Why so interested in Naruto? Didn't you set me against you to kill you? Don't you care at all?!
And than there was the devastating effect that Naruto's newly gained skill had on the water tower when our wills clashed. I think we would have obliterated each other then if it hadn't been for Kakashi's interference.
Dead-last even had the nerve to tell me that he had never considered himself less in tenacity than me.
There's so much bullshit that I want to EXPLODE.
Orochimaru says that anger must be released at the right time in a controlled fashion, and I know that. I need to bide my time for a few more days and use it to my advantage when I confront HIM.
What would my parents say if they were still here today? How would they react to my traitorous sibling's criminal record? What would they say about my progress in the use of my sharingan?
I wish I had the chance to know.
I curse the day they were ripped from me. It broke my soul to see them, ripped and torn like broken dolls on the floor. Their scarlet life force had seeped quickly from them; too quickly for anything to be done. I cradled their heads in my arms as my older brother walked away calmly - as if their deaths meant nothing and he had never cared at all - and he probably hadn't. He left me with only one thing keeping me alive. . . My hate. My passion for revenge. I promised on that day that if I had to descend into the bowels of hell to avenge my loved ones that I would do so without hesitation.
There is no room for love in my heart. I have carelessly watched as Sakura tries to bestow her undying affection upon me. I have ignored the pleas of numerous others.
I never had to ignore her, or them. Maybe I shouldn't have.
This is the path I have chosen. I cannot love anyone. . . .. they will only interfere. . . .
Is this right? Am I right?
No, I have need of no doubts. All are just hurdles in my way. Even Naruto.
He wants me to call him a rival. Sakura wants to call me a lover; even a friend. I pushed them away. I threw them and the entire leaf village away from me the instant I left with those Sound nin. I can feel this pain in my chest. It's a shooting, aching pain that I never felt before I left Konohagakure. It hurts. . . .it really. . . hurts. . .
I can feel the rebellious part of me rejecting my life's thoroughfare. I must stop this. I must follow my ninja way; I must complete my ambitions; I must fight Naruto and prove to Itachi that I am truly more than Naruto will ever be.
. . .
But I feel more alone than ever right now.
Naruto's a lucky bastard.
He's not in Itachi's shadow. He doesn't have to kill the brother he used to love.
At least people see him as he is. I'm Uchiha; therefore I need to be the strongest. He doesn't have any stupid, unwanted symbol attached to him that he can't leave behind. He's so happy-go-lucky that it makes. . . .made. . . me want to punch him sometimes.
He never had any parents. He can't feel the pain of losing them like I can and he doesn't have to wake up every day knowing that once they were there - making breakfast, hearing their feathery voices float through my wall.
After all, you can't miss what you've never had.
We're both orphans; both alone in our own ways. But still, I'm jealous. It sounds stupid and childish, but it's true.
. . .
I am wrong yet again. It is. . . honorable. . . to punish my brother for the crimes he has committed. I will not think THAT way.
Kakashi. . .I yelled at him, didn't I? I was angry at him because he's never felt pain like I did. And than he told me that all of the people precious to him were dead.
He lectured me on how I should not seek Itachi as I was doing, for it would end in misery. As if I do not know that the pursuit could mean my demise.
What will I have. . .if. . . once Itachi is gone, anyway? I have no friends. . . I have no family. . . . I . . .
I repudiate the consideration of those uncertainties. I must quell all doubts; all controversies that lurk within the anarchistic recesses of my mind. I must consider what had been thrown in my face as of the moment Itachi opened his mouth: an impediment named Naruto.
Once I prove my worth against him I will have Itachi's full attention.
The time has come.
I can feel it in the newly acquired strength that fills my body to the brim, flowing fit to burst out in a torrent of power. It is the training I received from Orochimaru that has accomplished it, and therefore I have no regrets for the abandoning of Konoha. There is only one thing left for me to do there anyway. I don't need those incompetent fools and their inferior D-rank missions that do nothing for my benefit.
And I'm prepared to do what I must. I'm ready to face my so-called rival. I'm ready to prove to Itachi that I am more important and I am more of a threat than that dead-last loser.
I distinctly recall the rage I fell into when I met Itachi for the first time in years. He treated me as a nothing; a nobody. I, his own brother, am but a worthless amoeba living beneath the heel of his boot. I am not worthy of his quickest glance or of a second of his time.
He has more interest in the joke of Team 7, the prankster of Konoha, the most largely ignored child in all the village - than me. I had needed the entirety of my willpower to suppress my anger at that time.
Why so interested in Naruto? Didn't you set me against you to kill you? Don't you care at all?!
And than there was the devastating effect that Naruto's newly gained skill had on the water tower when our wills clashed. I think we would have obliterated each other then if it hadn't been for Kakashi's interference.
Dead-last even had the nerve to tell me that he had never considered himself less in tenacity than me.
There's so much bullshit that I want to EXPLODE.
Orochimaru says that anger must be released at the right time in a controlled fashion, and I know that. I need to bide my time for a few more days and use it to my advantage when I confront HIM.
What would my parents say if they were still here today? How would they react to my traitorous sibling's criminal record? What would they say about my progress in the use of my sharingan?
I wish I had the chance to know.
I curse the day they were ripped from me. It broke my soul to see them, ripped and torn like broken dolls on the floor. Their scarlet life force had seeped quickly from them; too quickly for anything to be done. I cradled their heads in my arms as my older brother walked away calmly - as if their deaths meant nothing and he had never cared at all - and he probably hadn't. He left me with only one thing keeping me alive. . . My hate. My passion for revenge. I promised on that day that if I had to descend into the bowels of hell to avenge my loved ones that I would do so without hesitation.
There is no room for love in my heart. I have carelessly watched as Sakura tries to bestow her undying affection upon me. I have ignored the pleas of numerous others.
I never had to ignore her, or them. Maybe I shouldn't have.
This is the path I have chosen. I cannot love anyone. . . .. they will only interfere. . . .
Is this right? Am I right?
No, I have need of no doubts. All are just hurdles in my way. Even Naruto.
He wants me to call him a rival. Sakura wants to call me a lover; even a friend. I pushed them away. I threw them and the entire leaf village away from me the instant I left with those Sound nin. I can feel this pain in my chest. It's a shooting, aching pain that I never felt before I left Konohagakure. It hurts. . . .it really. . . hurts. . .
I can feel the rebellious part of me rejecting my life's thoroughfare. I must stop this. I must follow my ninja way; I must complete my ambitions; I must fight Naruto and prove to Itachi that I am truly more than Naruto will ever be.
. . .
But I feel more alone than ever right now.
Naruto's a lucky bastard.
He's not in Itachi's shadow. He doesn't have to kill the brother he used to love.
At least people see him as he is. I'm Uchiha; therefore I need to be the strongest. He doesn't have any stupid, unwanted symbol attached to him that he can't leave behind. He's so happy-go-lucky that it makes. . . .made. . . me want to punch him sometimes.
He never had any parents. He can't feel the pain of losing them like I can and he doesn't have to wake up every day knowing that once they were there - making breakfast, hearing their feathery voices float through my wall.
After all, you can't miss what you've never had.
We're both orphans; both alone in our own ways. But still, I'm jealous. It sounds stupid and childish, but it's true.
. . .
I am wrong yet again. It is. . . honorable. . . to punish my brother for the crimes he has committed. I will not think THAT way.
Kakashi. . .I yelled at him, didn't I? I was angry at him because he's never felt pain like I did. And than he told me that all of the people precious to him were dead.
He lectured me on how I should not seek Itachi as I was doing, for it would end in misery. As if I do not know that the pursuit could mean my demise.
What will I have. . .if. . . once Itachi is gone, anyway? I have no friends. . . I have no family. . . . I . . .
I repudiate the consideration of those uncertainties. I must quell all doubts; all controversies that lurk within the anarchistic recesses of my mind. I must consider what had been thrown in my face as of the moment Itachi opened his mouth: an impediment named Naruto.
Once I prove my worth against him I will have Itachi's full attention.