Harry Potter and the Shaving Problem.

Disclaimer: I only own…Well, err. Nevermind. Cheers, JKR.

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Harry wobbled to the bathroom and groggily picked up his razor and a can of shaving cream. Ron and Hermione stood behind him and watched as he carefully shaved his face.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

"Why are we here again?" She asked Ron.

"Well, we're a trio remember?"

Hermione nodded. "Right. Right..."

"--And I want to envy Harry for having FACIAL HAIR before me!" Ron said.

Harry paused before rinsing off his face and saying, "I always wondered why you were so mad at Hermione in second year..."

Ron sputtered and looked as if he was on the verge of tears. "She...She even had a longer appendage than I have. It's just not FAIR!"

Harry and Hermione blinked.

A vibrant red spread up Ron's neck and face as he blushed. "I said that out loud didn't I? I-I can't take it anymore! I just want to be different. And-and if I can't have facial hair..I'll have NO HAIR! AHAHAHAHA!"

Harry and Hermione goggled as Ron proceeded to pick up Harry's razor and shave his head.

When he finished, Ron jumped up and down and whooped for joy. "AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! HAAAAAAAAAAA! GONE! The hair is GONE! No more red! NO MOOORE! Oh except for--"

"Not out loud!" Hermione interrupted.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest in what he thought was a manly manor. "Hermione how did you kno--"

Hermione quickly saw where the situation was going and backed herself out the door. "I have to go SHAVE MY TAIL now."

Harry and Ron looked at each other as she ran out of the bathroom.

"She still has a tail?" They said simultaneously.

Suddenly, there was a huge BANG and Voldemort appeared in front of them, ready to attack them in the measly Hogwarts bathroom even though apparating wasn't allowed on Hogwarts grounds (just ask Hermione), because they didn't have the power of THREE.

Voldemort's snake-like red eyes glowed maliciously and his sunken nose wiggled back and forth. "You are DOOMED Potter! YOU ARE DOOOOMED! ARRRRHAHAHA! What are you going to do Potter, SHAVE ME!?"
Voldemort waved his wand back and forth in a way that he thought was menacing. In fact, he had tested it on Malfoy. But it could have been his sleeping attire that provoked Malfoy's reaction. Honestly, he didn't understand why that man or Pettigrew didn't like Teletubbies. But that wasn't the point, in his temporary daydream about his Teletubbies pajamas he had completely forgotten about Harry who was now poised to strike with...

Was that a razor?

Before he could think on the matter further, Harry lunged at him and shaved the last protruding part of his sunken nose off.

Voldemort screamed like a school girl and disappeared with another BANG, leaving behind a trail of music.

The sun will come out...TOMORROW!

Harry and Ron collapsed in exhaustion. Shaving does that to a man. Boy. Thing.

Suddenly, there was another large BANG and Voldemort appeared again, falling over a sink nearby, causing Harry and Ron to spring up ready to defend themselves. Voldemort sheepishly grabbed his wand and gave them a small wave. "So sorry." With that he disappeared for the final time that day.

Voldemort had been defeated once again.

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"Hermione, be PROUD. You have a tail. We don't care. Now go in there and strut your…stuff," Harry urged.

Hermione reluctantly pulled out the tail she had been hiding since her second year and strutted into the Great Hall, squeezing her eyes shut and awaiting laugher and jeers.
After a few minutes, she opened her eyes. Everyone was staring at her shaved tail in awe. She grinned and swished it, walking the rest of the way to the Gryffindor table. Harry followed after and took a seat next to Hermione, giving her a grin and tickling her tail for good measure.

I mean, what else were friends for?

A few minutes later, Ron walked into the Great Hall proudly, in a Gryffindor-like way, BALD and headed over to Harry and Hermione.

Seamus blinked at the sight before asking Neville, "Do you think he's got a rare disease we don' know 'bout?"

Neville let out an "Mmphhh" in reply and continued staring at Parvati Patil.

Seamus sighed and ate a potato.

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A/N: Credit for this chapter rests solely with myself and Bryn, whom inspired a lot of it…And wrote half of it as well! I wasn't planning on trashing this fic, but thanks for the reviews anyway. It encouraged me to get off my ass and actually write a new chapter! Be sure to review for me, lovelies!!! *takes pride in my BANG's*