Disclaimer: No mouse ears for me. No profit made, just a little fun.

A/N: Really, I think I could just have titled this one "Fun With Jack and Edmund".

Wait For No Man

Chapter 7

Norrington was aware of a small qualm as he clambered over the gunwale of the Pearl. He glanced over his shoulder at the Makara; behind him Bill climbed aboard and touched the Governor on the arm. "Ye've naught to fear, my lord," Bill said. "The rudder line's disabled. Nobody'll be able to steal her, at least not without we stop 'em. Me own worry's over that bloke Weston. D'ye think he was able to put on a convincing show?"

Edmund quirked a small smile. "I've discovered Weston's a man of many parts, Bill. I expect he was able to answer the ransom demands and any questions the garrison might have, at least enough to delay them haring after us for a little." He shrugged. "'Tisn't as if we can do anything about it if not."

"Aye, 'tis true," agreed the older man. "I been meanin' to say, my lord – ye'll forgive an old pirate his suspicious nature. I meant no slur on yer honor by what I were fool enough to say earlier."

Edmund smiled in earnest. "Consider it forgotten, if you'll also do me the favor to forget the title."

Bill answered him with a shy smile of his own. "Aye, that I'll do… Edmund."

"Ahoy, you dogs! Where's my crew?" roared Jack, stalking angrily toward his cabin. "Gibbs! Where the hell – oh."

The first mate poked his head out of the cabin door, then gave a broad grin. "Cap'n! Took 'ee long enough. I was beginnin' to think ye was hung!"

Jack tilted his chin up with a cocky smile. "Well, I am." Gibbs looked scandalized, Will outright shocked. Edmund had to look away or disgrace himself by laughing aloud. Jack's eyes got big and innocent. "Oh, you mean the – er – " he mimicked the noose and gagged. "No, not this time. Where the hell's my crew?

Gibbs stared at Bill. "Bootstrap, is that you, by all 'at's holy?"

The elder Turner rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Aye, Mr. Gibbs, 'tis, only I prefer to be just Bill, if ye don't mind."

Jack just folded his arms and looked at his mate. "My crew, Gibbs?"

Gibbs looked somewhat sheepish. "Er – Anamaria's gone to see her folk inland. Summat about one of their own's in trouble. You know them crazy feelin's she gets."

Will shook his head. "Not so crazy, this time. Belle's been kidnapped – with Lizbet."

Gibbs' eyes grew wide, then narrowed. "An' ye've come fer the Pearl. I tell 'ee, Cap'n, I've a right good idea who might be behind it. Same mangy cur who's been sayin' he's you."

Jack's own eyes narrowed. "Gibbs," he said softly, "where's my crew?"

"Well, 'ee see, Cap'n, it's like this." Gibbs hunched his shoulders. "Wordgotaround'atyewerelookin'feranewcrewan'thecrewo'thePearlsortaupan'quit."

It took all of them a moment to sort this through, and then Jack went up like fireworks. "THEY WHAT?"

Will looked bewildered. "His crew quit," translated Bill.

Gibbs nodded sadly. "Aye, all of 'em 'ceptin' me and Ana. I tol' em 'tweren't ye, but when men's in drink they'll believe anything." He brightened. "But now ye're here I expect we can get 'em back."

Jack curled his lip. "As if I'd want 'em."

Norrington, entertained as he was, felt bound to break in. "Er – gents – if I might remind us all, there's a child at stake. Can you not sort this out later?"

Jack looked chagrined and changed the subject. "Where do we find this imposter, Gibbs?"

The older man shrugged. "Never set eyes on 'im meself, Cap'n, else he'd be a problem no more, if ye take my meanin'. But the rumors been comin' out o' the Cochon D'Or."

Jack nodded, trying to stroke his beard before remembering it had been shorn. "Damn," he muttered sadly.

Norrington thought the next step rather obvious, and said so. "In that case I suggest we go to this Cochon D'Or of yours tonight, and see what we may see."

~*~

The pirates pretending to be Uncle Captain Jack and his crew were cleverer than Lizbet had thought, not letting them go through the streets of the town where Lizbet had thought maybe she might see someone from the Black Pearl. Instead they made them hurry through horrid marshy places that were muddy and slippery and smelt of dead things. Lizbet stumbled, once, and was jerked harshly to her feet. She blinked back tears and rubbed at her wrenched arm while Belle said a whole bunch more words Papa wouldn't like, a lot of them in French. Probably 'cos she'd run out of English words. Belle did that a lot.

Lizbet sniffled and bit her lip, determined not to cry. Her arm was very sore and she was worried that Papa and Uncle Captain Jack might not know where to look for her now. There had been another sort of ship in the harbor that Lizbet recognized, one like the kind Godpapa sometimes took her on. She had wished very, very hard that he was on it, but nobody came.

She looked up at Belle, struggling along next to her. It had to be harder for her to walk than for Lizbet; Belle still had her hands tied. Those old pirates were definitely smarter than Lizbet had thought, 'cos if Belle had her hands free they'd be awful sorry.

"It will be well, little one," Belle said in French. "These pigs will be sorry when your papa comes to retrieve you."

Lizbet knew lots of French. Belle spoke it much better than she did English, and she often used it at home.

"I have a sharp knife in my bodice," continued Belle, watching the pirates, "and I will use it to free us from these fools." Lizbet bit her lip again, very worried. When did Belle put a knife in her bodice, and why would she be silly enough to say so in front of the pirates? She was going to be in trouble now.

But the pirates didn't do anything except tell her to be quiet. Lizbet thought hard. Why wouldn't they take the knife away? Maybe… maybe they didn't know about it? She blinked, then hid a tiny smile. Maybe they didn't know French!

Stupid pirates.

~*~

Jack inhaled deeply when they entered the Cochon D'Or, a disreputable public house, seedy even by Tortuga standards. He grinned widely. It smelled of rum and wench, two of his favorite fragrances. He glanced over at Edmund and snickered. Clearly the Governor was a bit out of his depth.

Will was antsy, anyone could see that. Jack thought he'd better drop a word in his ear about that. Suspicion grew in taverns like mushrooms in a rotted log, and all they needed tonight was the distraction of a brawl to bring their precarious plans to nothing. Ah, no, Bill was getting them both a drink, gently urging his son to relax. Excellent man, Bill. Excellent pirate too.

A dark-haired strumpet with ample charms threaded her way through the tables toward them, her smile widening as she saw Jack. He smoothed his mustache complacently. Not perhaps the best of times to go a-whoring, but what could one do when one was irresistible? He'd let the lass down gently; she was an old favorite of his.

"Rose, my dove," he started smoothly; but then her blue eyes narrowed at his use of her name, and then widened as she twigged. Uh oh.

WHAM! 'Twas no measly slap, either, but a full-blown fist to the jaw, spinning the entire room around abruptly before depositing Jack on the sawdust-strewn floor. He remained there, out of range, gingerly checking with his tongue to see if any of his teeth were loose.

"Jack!" That was Edmund, all solicitude. Good man, Edmund.

"He probably deserved it," chorused the Turners from their table a short distance away. Jack shot them a look and allowed Edmund to pull him to his feet.

"He definitely deserved it," said the fair Rose, who was now sorting out the frills on her pale pink gown, with a smile for Will and an eye on Edmund. You had to admit, the lass knew Quality when she saw it, not that she'd have had much practice in a den of iniquity like this. Jack shook his head, hoping to dislodge the ringing in his ears.

For her part the wench dimpled at Norrington and curtseyed, by God! "My apologies for the mess, my lord. What may I get ye to drink?"

Edmund blinked. Jack understood. The man had clearly never met one like this before.

"Ale, if you please, miss."

Jack rolled his eyes. Norrington had said 'please'. To a wench. In a pub in Tortuga. Politeness never paid; now the crumpet would be stuck to them like a burr all night. She curtseyed again and began wiping off a table nearby, but Edmund gently touched her arm with one finger. "One moment, miss." Jack's eyebrows were like to climb up off his forehead when Norrington produced a coin. A gold one.

Rose smiled, slowly, her lips curling like the ribbon on a package of bon bons. "Aye, my lord?" she breathed, leaning in. Edmund looked down. So did Jack. Well, who wouldn't, with that horizon on view?

Edmund cleared his throat. Twice. "Er – I wonder if you'd mind keeping it to yourself about our friend here," he nodded at Jack. "Don't want to start any trouble, if you understand me." And then the Governor winked. At a wench. In a pub in Tortuga. Jack wondered how Beelzebub was enjoying the frost.

Rose's smile grew somehow wider and her bodice somehow snugger, causing her accoutrements to swell to an eye-popping degree. "If ye wish, my lord. Anything… else?"

Norrington reddened. "Oh. Um. Er. No, thank you." Jack sighed gustily. By the Lord Harry, he'd done it a second time.

He waved a hand between the now-besotted Rose and Norrington, whose expression had gone slightly glazed. "Drinks?" Jack interjected to the maid, his tone slightly irritated. Rose turned that death's-head glare on him again, and then turned on her heel and went to the bar, nose in the air.

~*~

Lizbet pressed her little nose to the barred window, trying to see the guard outside their door. "Oui, Belle, I can see him," she sang in French, to a nursery tune. "He's coming."

Belle sang back. "Good, ma petite. You know what to do."

And she did. Lizbet bit her tongue in concentration, raising her hand. Belle waited at the door.

They'd discovered several more things, she and Belle, since being locked in this shed earlier that afternoon. One was that the pirates had something else to do, and were leaving only a few guards to watch them. The other, and Belle said the most important, was that the pirates didn't really think Lizbet and Belle were brave enough to try to escape.

They had tried to help them think so. Lizbet had cried for her Papa, which was sort of pretend and sort of not. Belle had cried too, and pretended to beg them to let her go. The stupid pirates had laughed. Lizbet hated people who laughed when little girls were crying.

But Belle said it meant they thought she and Lizbet were too scared to try to run away. Ha, thought Lizbet. Sucks boo to you.

The guard was balancing a tray of food in one hand and reaching for the door with the other. Lizbet waited. Belle had said 'timing was crucial', which meant she had to wait 'til she was sure he'd grasped the knob…