Disclaimer: Sadly, only Kyle and Ricky belong to me. However, if anyone could get me any sort of ownership over Justin Timberlake, I'd be all good.
Chapter 3: To Tell the Truth, I'd Dare to Do That
Draco glared at Ricky, who was smirking smugly.
"You know, I had the most fascinating chat with our dear Miss Parkinson…" he began, enjoying himself thoroughly. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I think our wittle Swthewin has an ickle cwush on Dwakie-Poo."
Draco smiled at his friend's antics, but returned to his infamous sneer immediately. "Do you think I'm stupid, Jackson? Of course I noticed her disgusting fascination with me! I'm not that thick, like Weasley."
Ricky nodded. "Fair 'nuff. Oi! Blaise!" he called, waving to someone behind Draco.
Blaise popped up beside Draco, grinning widely. "Draco," she started, her grin growing, "Pansy's been asking where you are!"
"Tell her I was here…and die," he threatened, his silver eyes glittering dangerously.
Blaise raised an eyebrow questioningly, smirking. "Harsh. Don't you think…that since the two of you are, like, practically engaged…Well, don't you think you should try to like her?"
Draco's eyes widened, and his cool exterior dropped. "Come again?"
"You know, don't you? Oh Merlin, you don't? Wow, Malfoy, that's pretty sad. Didn't either of your parents tell you they had set up your arranged marriage?" Blaise exclaimed.
Ricky bit his lip, stifling his laughter.
"Look, Monkey Boy—" Draco warned, watching his companion look up innocently at the mention of monkeys, "This…it's not funny. I'm engaged to Pansy?"
Ricky simply grinned, nodding. "I see. Well, since you so lovingly brought up those unwanted memories—Ferret Boy—"
Draco held up a hand, frowning. "Ok, we're done reliving Hogwarts. Back to the matters at hand…"
"Yeah, you're engaged. I think Narcissa once told me you'd die if you didn't marry by some age…she was trying to get me to push you and Pansy together…" she trailed off, waving her hand for emphasis.
"This is bull. Bugger, who does that now?" he demanded. "I mean, honestly! God, so now I have to make nice with Parkinson?" Draco asked, clearly disgusted.
Ricky nodded, his eyes glazed over. "I think that we should resort to the old Hogwarts method of cheering you up…"
"Which would be…?"
"A nice, drunk game of Truth or Dare," he answered Draco, smirking. "If we're really lucky, we can get the Gryffindors to join, too."
"What I wouldn't do to hear Potter's sordid secrets," Blaise laughed, covering her mouth.
"Granger's should be the dullest, I'd wager," Ricky added.
"Well, she did go out with Krum over the summer," Blaise correcting, a frown appearing. "How that happened, I will never know."
"Aww, jealous that ickle Krummy-kins didn't give into Miss Zabini's 'charms'?" Draco taunted.
"You really need to stop hanging around Jackson, Malfoy," she retorted, blushing.
Ricky looked up innocently. "What? I didn't do anything! Great Monkeys in Heaven, save me!" he pleaded, throwing his hands into the air.
Blaise giggled a little, trying her best to look disturbed at his outburst.
"Leave the Gryffindors to me," Draco interrupted, smugly folding his arms across his chest.
Ricky raised an eyebrow, and stage-whispered, "Not even the Great Monkeys in Heaven can save Gryffindors from the wrath of Draco Malfoy."
Draco whacked his friend, scowling. "Oh, shut your trap, Jackson."
~*~
Hermione glared at Draco, as he approached slowly. He nodded to them, stopping in front of Harry.
"A word," he said shortly.
Harry nodded, looking back at his friends. "I'll be back in a second. I'm sure Malfoy here just wanted a few pointers on Quidditch."
Parvati giggled, waving. "Ok, Harry!"
Ron crossed the field to Hermione, Lavender trailing after him.
"What do you reckon Malfoy wants with Harry?" Ron asked, nodding toward Harry.
Hermione shrugged, her gaze locked on Malfoy to be sure he didn't do anything. "Find out soon enough," she murmured.
Two minutes later, Harry came back, looking flushed. "Malfoy's just challenged us to a game of Truth or Dare with the Slytherins."
"And you accepted it?" Hermione asked in a disbelieving voice.
"Well, we had a heated argument…and Malfoy insulted us. What was I supposed to do?" he whined.
"Um, ignore the git?" she suggested.
"Well, it's been done," Ron declared. "No changing that now. I'll admit, I'd love to know some stuff about the lot…"
~*~
Ricky plopped onto his bed, smirking at Draco and Kyle. "So it's been done?"
Draco nodded, a rare grin spreading across his face. "Potter's so easy to get a rise out of."
Kyle snickered, propping up his feet onto a table he had conjured up in front of his chair. "Nice."
He nodded in agreement. "I told you not even the Great Monkeys in Heaven could save the little Gryffindors, Kyle!"
"Give it up on the damn monkeys," Kyle hissed, rolling his eyes.
Ricky crossed his arms, feigning hurt. "How insulting! What did the Great Monkeys ever do to you?"
"Bit me?"
Ricky sneered, sticking out his tongue childishly. "It's only because you pissed me off one day."
"I can't believe you actually conjured a huge monkey just to bite Kyle," Draco chuckled, shaking his head. "That's really sad."
Ricky shrugged. Bored, he took out his wand, pointing it to the ceiling, muttering a charm.
"I'm leaving if that stupid ape doesn't change back to the serpent it was before," Kyle warned.
"It's not an ape! It's a chimpanzee," Ricky said defensively. "Fine," he sighed, seeing the look on Kyle's face.
Seconds later, the familiar serpent was slithering again, sending evil glares at Ricky.
"Ooh, poor Ricky. Now he's going to have to sleep with a pissed off snake sliding around above him," Draco mocked.
Ricky looked up fearfully at the snake, clutching his wand. "Er, back to business," he said in a croaky voice.
"Why don't you ever act this retarded in front of everyone else?" Kyle asked.
He shrugged. "I dunno. I was a Slytherin, let's be serious now. Wouldn't have gotten half the girls I snagged."
Draco cleared his throat, eyeing his friends irately. "What sorts of things should we make them do?"
"I think Blaise and Pansy should ask embarrassing questions," Kyle suggested, enjoying watching Draco cringe at Pansy's name.
"Dares are going to be hardest. At our age, this seems kind of childish…" Ricky muttered, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
"Oh fuck this! We're going to be drunk! Why in Merlin's name are we planning this?" Kyle exclaimed.
"Because," Draco said calmly, "we won't be as drunk as they will be."
"To hell with that!" Ricky laughed. "I'll be so drunk off my ass, I won't be able to see straight!"
Draco frowned, standing swiftly. "I'll tell Pansy what we're doing, so she can know."
"Ah…trying to make nice already?" Ricky insinuated.
"How about no."
~*~
Lavender, Parvati, and Hermione sat cross-legged on Ron's bed, eyeing the two boys warily.
"I'll dare Malfoy to—" Ron began excitedly.
"You know what? We're forgetting the basics. If we're going to be sure everyone's telling the truth, I'll make a mild truth serum and slip it into everyone's drinks," Hermione cut in, sighing.
Lavender nodded, giggling. "Yes, because I really want to know if it's true about Ricky and Draco…"
"Lavender!" Ron bellowed, his face coloring with red.
"What?" she asked innocently, flashing a smile at Parvati. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
"It's true," Parvati agreed.
Ron looked disgusted, because he had known where Lavender was going with that. And from the looks of it, Harry did, too.
"Please, Lav, we all know you were referring to Jackson and Malfoy…down…there," Hermione managed to choke out, her face contorted with disgust and horror.
Parvati and Lavender giggled simultaneously.
Harry and Ron looked more than upset that their girlfriends wanted to know this. They looked downright insulted.
Parvati waved her hand around, as if doing so would let her have some air. "No, no, Harry! We just wanted to know for the sake of our friends everywhere…"
Hermione got up, standing next to her two best friends. "Can I go while you four have it out?"
Ron nodded, looking very displeased.
Hermione ran off without a second word, grateful to be out of there.
"Mudblood," sneered an unfriendly voice as she crashed into something solid.
Hermione looked up, matching the Slytherin's sneer. "Parkinson."
Losing her harsh exterior, Pansy asked, "Have you seen Draco?"
"Of course Granger didn't," drawled a voice in an amused tone. "Why in bloody hell would she have the pleasure of seeing me?"
Hermione scoffed as Draco's arms encircled Pansy's waist. "As if I'd want the so-called 'pleasure' of seeing you!"
"Don't be so indignant, Granger. It's not very becoming on you. Not that anything is becoming on you," Draco smirked.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Whatever. Can you move now? I have places to be."
Pansy stepped aside, despite Draco's outraged protests.
"Oh, just let the stupid mudblood go. It's not like I want to see her," Pansy spat, glaring at him.
Hermione moved past them swiftly, uncaring.
She stopped in the kitchen, gathering some ingredients for the potion quickly.
After pulling out the book with the recipe, and getting halfway through, a voice cut through the air.
"Very smart there, Granger. Not even I would have thought of it," Ricky said.
"No, I don't expect you would," she replied curtly.
Ricky put his hand over his heart dramatically as though she had stabbed him. "You wound me with your words."
"Well I try," Hermione retorted.
"Great Monkeys in Heaven! Snippy little thing, aren't you?" he exclaimed.
"Great Monkeys in Heaven?" she repeated questioningly in an amused voice.
"Yes, is there a problem with that?" Ricky asked, offended.
"No, no…it's just…never knew you had a monkey fetish," she reassured him, her voice cracking from the effort of not laughing.
Hermione wiped an amused tear from her eye, pushing up her sleeve.
"So what else have you cooked up in that twisted mind if you've thought of a truth potion?" he asked.
"Are you drunk?" Hermione asked suspiciously.
"Maybe a little buzzed," he admitted sheepishly.
"I see. No wonder I'm not being insulted."
Ricky shrugged. "I can still insult you…mudblood."
"Very original, Monkey Lover."
"Hey! That…stays between you and me," Ricky hissed.
"Well…until the game, at least. I really can't make any promises," Hermione said innocently.
"I'm going now," he insisted, swaggering away unsteadily.
"Alright, just don't come again!" she called sweetly.
Turning back to the almost complete potion, she sighed, restlessly looking through the aged book for something else that would amuse her.
"Well, isn't this interesting?" she mused, her eyes falling upon a page marked Mind Reader.
It was a slightly complex potion that allowed the person who took it to read the mind of the person who was forced to take it.
Too lazy to make some, she pointed her wand at a bowl, and murmured a nifty little spell she had made up in 7th year.
Hermione sifted through a few more pages, and found nothing else interesting.
Wait, she thought, flipping back a few pages. Here…a twenty-four hour potion that forces the taker to become the willing slave of the wizard or witch who says the incantation.
~*~
At approximately ten at night, all ten occupants of the manor gathered in a circle, looking at each other with warning glares.
"First," Ricky slurred, "All of you will become very drunk. Like me," he added as an afterthought. "That way…tomorrow this will all be just a horrible migraine."
The Slytherins reached for the wizard alcohol (which had been injected with Hermione's truth serum), grinning widely. The Gryffindors, however, weren't as easily persuaded. Lavender and Parvati were, but the Golden Trio wasn't.
"Oh, come on, Granger. Potter, Weasley…where's your sense of fun?" Blaise insisted, sounding a little drunk.
"Enough of this bullshit," Draco scoffed, picking up his wand.
He murmured a spell under his breath, and the three Gryffindors found themselves pouring huge glasses of alcohol.
Within five minutes, all ten were as drunk as Ricky, grinning foolishly. That wizard alcohol somehow managed to forget how powerful it was on the label.
"Me first," Lavender giggled. "Erm, Ricky!"
He straightened up at the sound of his name, and looked around, dazedly. "Wha…?"
"Truth or Dare?"
"Dare," he answered confidently.
"I dare you to answer the question 'if inches equaled minutes…how many minutes is your—' "
Ron covered her mouth. He yelped when she bit his hand.
" 'Mr. Johnson', " Lavender finished triumphantly.
"Mr. Who?"
"Mr. Johnson! You know…" Parvati exclaimed, pointing to his pants.
"Oh…About six and a half minutes," Ricky stated proudly.
Parvati and Lavender giggled again, doubling over with their giggles. However, even though highly drunk, Ron and Harry weren't impressed.
"Potter," he leered, swaying from side to side dangerously.
Harry looked up. "Truth."
Draco scoffed, nudging Ricky encouragingly.
Ricky straightened again, caught off guard. He had been expecting Potter to take it like a man. "Er…Bugger, why'd you have to do that? Let's see…truth…"
Harry cleared his throat impatiently.
"Well, bloody hell, don't be an impatient git! Well, I hope to Merlin the answer is 'yes', because this'll be amusing…Have you ever cheated on Parvati?"
Harry flushed with anger, but found himself saying, "Yeah."
Luckily for him, Parvati was too drunk to care. She was still giggling over Ricky's answer.
"Thompson."
Kyle leaned back, amused. "Dare."
"I dare you to…tell Snape you love him. And spice it up."
"How original," he sneered, turning to the fireplace. Grabbing a fine, silver powder, he threw it onto the fire exclaiming, "Severus Snape!"
Snape's face floated into the fire, looking unhappy. "Yes, Mr. Thompson?" he demanded in an oily voice.
Sighing, Kyle stated in a dull voice, "I have loved you for the longest time. I'll admit that ever since I saw your sexy self at the Teacher's Table in my First Year, I fell right in love."
Professor Snape adjusted his sleeping cap, with one corner of his mouth lifted up in amusement. "Playing Truth or Dare while drunk, Mister Thompson?"
"No, sir. Why would you say that? I honestly love you."
"Because, Kyle, I can smell that pungent breath even from here," Snape answered smoothly, smirking.
The other nine wizards and witches hollered with laughter, wiping tears from their eyes.
"Good night, children," Severus spat, adjusting once more his nightcap.
~*~
"Thanks, Potter. Well, Granger, looks like it's your turn."
Hermione bristled at her name, and the hateful tone that went with it. "Truth."
"Why did Krum really want to go out with a mudblood like you? Blaise really wants to know, from what I hear."
"Because he thought I was different, and liked that," Hermione answered stiffly, glaring.
"Sure…now, how many minutes was that before he shagged you?" Kyle asked snidely.
She looked vexed by that demeaning sentence, but said nothing. Pursing her lips tightly, she looked around the room for a worthy cause. "Malfoy," she said finally.
Crossing his arms, unimpressed, he said firmly, "Dare."
"I dare you to take this potion," Hermione demanded, holding out the bowl.
He took it suspiciously, ladling some of the broth into the spoon. However suspicious of the liquid he was, Draco took it without complaint. He coughed at the terrible taste, frowning at Hermione.
"What in the bloody hell was that?"
Hermione smirked innocently. "Just a potion that will make you my slave for the next 24 hours," she answered, swiftly murmuring the incantation.
Draco sneered, looking a little frightened, despite the cold look that radiated from his eyes.
"And, Malfoy, darling, don't sneer like that. It isn't very becoming," she said, mocking his earlier words.
The Gryffindors snickered, and Pansy shot Draco a pitying look.
"Weasley," he barked harshly.
Ron normally jovial blue eyes turned darker at the mention of his name. "Dare."
"I dare you to snog Potter."
Ron and Harry looked disgusted. "Can I at least do it in private?"
Draco started to say no, but Hermione shot him a warning look. "Stupid mudblood," he muttered under his breath. "Fine."
Hermione cast a spell that would make them spill their deepest, most embarrassing secrets if they hadn't snogged…just because she knew that she would be facing Draco's wrath in 24 hours, and wasn't looking to make it worse.
A few minutes later, the two boys emerged, disgusted, from the broom closet located conveniently in the room.
Blaise looked slightly disappointed that they had snogged…she was looking forward to hearing their sordid secrets.
Ron didn't look very happy, and the Slytherins knew that the next person was going to get it bad.
"Parkinson."
Pansy looked up fearfully. "Truth," she said meekly.
"Is it true that you've snogged girls?"
She peeped, her eyes widening. "Yes," she admitted miserably. "But only because it was a dare!"
Ron made a mental note to ask who next time.
Pansy gazed about the circle, debating on who to pick on. "Patil," she said finally, wishing she had picked Draco.
"Truth."
"Is it true that you…oh Merlin, I don't even want to say it…shagged Neville?"
Parvati blushed, and nodded. "We were drunk. It was worse than this, actually," she added, looking up thoughtfully.
Harry cringed, because obviously this was the first time he had heard of this.
"So, Zabini, I guess it's your turn."
Blaise weighed her two options, before finally settling on "Truth."
Parvati was clearly disappointed, and took another swig of the wizard alcohol. "Erm…" she began, interrupted by a sudden hiccup. "Have you ever fancied a teacher. If so, who?"
Blaise looked clearly repulsed, and answered sarcastically, "Oh, Professor Binns has been driving me wild, he has. Wow, that was hard to say…just how mild was this serum, Granger?"
Hermione shrugged.
"Fine. Ow, dammit, my head hurts now…Thanks, Patil! Brown, you're up!"
"Dare!" she giggled, swaying in a manner equal to Ricky's. "Ooh, make it a good one," she added.
Blaise scoffed, unable to believe that Lavender Brown actually wanted an evil dare. "Only you, Brown…only you." Pausing to think, she finally grinned. "Got it. I'm not sure how much you'll like it, but I know that I'll like it."
Ron looked uneasily at his girlfriend, before looking hatefully at Blaise.
"Fine. I dare you to…"
A/N: I'm terrible, and should be beaten! Lol, I know how long it's been…shame on me…but chapter four hasn't moved forward any, and I don't really feel like rewriting an entire chapter all over…but I will. Then I can finally move through this evil hole I'm stuck in and get to any good stuff that occurs to me.
But I updated. And that's what's important. So thank you again to my reviewers, you have been very patient. I heart you. Read, review, enjoy! This chapter may have been corny, but some laughs ensued, right??
[Submitted: August 30, 2003]