A/N: Ok I began to upload this story like last year or something and I never got around to typing up the rest. Hope you like it! Oh and by the way, in case I never mentioned this before, this format is based on the "My life is a toilet/wedgie/boob tube" series by Gretel Killeen which you should all totally read.
8:19 AM:
Must go rescue Arwen!
8:20 AM:
Legolas will not leave until he chooses a shampoo.
8:21 AM:
I said we'd leave without him.
8:22 AM:
Gimli said he wouldn't leave without Legolas.
8:28 AM:
I said we'd leave without him too.
8:29 AM:
Sam just announced that he's not leaving without Mr Frodo.
8:30 AM:
I just informed him that Mr Frodo had already run off with my beloved Arwen.
8:31 AM:
Samfatandgayandstupid seems completely lost.
8:32 AM:
I am surrounded by idiots.
8:33 AM:
Actually I think I was always surrounded by idiots. I only just realised.
8:33:30 AM:
Which makes me slow
8:40 AM:
Which makes me stoopidth
8:50 AM:
Hey! I'm not slow!
8:51 AM:
Aaaaargh! Must make Legolas hurry up and choose a damn bottle of shampoo so we can rescue my fair maiden from the clutches of the evil Frodo.
8:52 AM:
Hey! That sounded quite poetic! :)!
8:53 AM:
I know! I'll threaten to chop his legs off! Then he'll really be legless (Legless! Get it? Ah hahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!)
8:54 AM:
I just called "Legless!" (because I like that name so much better) "Hurry up and choose!"
8:54 and some bits AM:
He just yelled back "my name is not Legless!"
8:54 and some more bits AM:
I just shouted "Well if you don't hurry up, that nickname may have more meaning!"
8:54 and lots of bits AM:
Legless called, "Yeah, and ACORN may be a better name for you when I turn you into one!"
8:55 AM:
What the hell?! Honestly that makes no sense whatsoever.
8:56 AM:
What to do?
8:57 AM:
Ah ha! I have a brilliant idea!
8:58 AM:
I just told Legless that Gimli likes elves with dirty hair.
8:59 AM:
Legless is looking at me doubtfully.
9:00 AM:
I just told him that dirt is a real turn on for dwarves.
9:01 AM:
Legolas believed me! He threw away all the shampoo bottles and declared that we must go and rescue Arwen at once!
9:02 AM:
I am so brilliant.
9:07 AM:
We are now following Frodo. Which isn't very hard because he keeps drawing arrows in the dirt, saying "I am going this way". What an idiot.
9:08 AM:
The arrows have lead us to a giant castle.
9:09 AM:
A giant PINK castle
9:10 AM:
Pink is such an ugly colour.
9:11 AM:
Brown is such a better colour.
9:12 AM:
Oh no! There aren't any doors in this castle. How are we going to get in?!
9:13 AM:
Gimli suggested we tunnel under the walls.
9:14 AM:
Legolas screamed at the thought of getting dirty.
9:15 AM:
Legolas is still screaming.
9:16 AM:
Still screaming.
9:17 AM:
Still screaming.
9:35 AM:
Still screa- wait Legolas just remembered that I told him that dwarves like dirt, so now he's agreeing with Gimli.
9:36 AM:
Nuts.
9:37 AM:
Ok fortunately I've just come up with a better idea.
9:38 AM:
We are now preparing to throw Samfat through the wall, soz he's so fat he'll make a hole in the wall.
9:39 AM:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
9:40 AM:
He's
9:41 AM:
too
9:42 AM:
HEAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:43 AM:
Trying
9:44 AM:
to
9:45 AM:
catch
9:46 AM:
breath
9:47 AM:
*pant*
9:48 AM:
*pant*
9:49 AM:
That evil traitor Frodo just yelled out "Go away!"
9:50 AM:
Sam yelled back "I'm coming Mr Frodo!"
9:51 AM:
Sam is now "running" towards the pink monstrosity.
9:52 AM:
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!
9:53 AM:
That's disgusting!!!!!!! All his fat is wobbling everywhere! I feel sea sick.
9:54 AM:
Sweet Valar, make it stop!!
9:55 AM:
Sam just ran through the wall of the castle.
9:56 AM:
YAY! Now there's a giant hole in the wall.
9:57 AM:
Now I'm in the castle. AND IT'S STILL PINK!!
9:58 AM:
OK now I'm definitely going to be sick.
9:59 AM:
YAY! The walls are no longer pink.
10:00 AM:
They are now a disgusting mixture of green, red, brown and yellow. Eeeeeeeeeew……
10:01 AM:
Well it's better than pink.
10:01 AM:
Now I must find Arwen!
10:02 AM:
Where is she?
10:03 AM:
Well this just sucks, doesn't it?!
10:04 AM:
Ah ha! I know! I'll use my magical Arwen-finding powers.
10:05 AM:
Ow! I just ran into a wall!
10:06 AM:
YAY! I found a sign saying "Arwen is this way"!
10:07 AM:
Must do a little dance to celebrate.
10:08 AM:
Me doing a little dance:
o
|
/ \
10:09 AM:
Wait. Which way is "this way"?
10:10 AM:
I am completely confused.
10:11 AM:
Someone's calling my name.
10:12 AM:
IT'S ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!
10:13 AM:
Am now following the sweet sound of my darling's voice.
10:14 AM:
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I found her!!!!!!
10:15 AM:
How rude! Someone's poking her!
10:15 and 30 seconds of listening to something for kate:
Someone ELSE is touching MY Arwen!!
10:16 AM:
Ok they are officially dead!
10:17 AM:
I just yelled at them to "get away from MY Arwen!!!!!!!"
10:18 AM:
They're turning around. OMG, it's……….
A/N: Any guesses as to the evil Arwen-poker? Aw I love Something for Kate; they rock!