Chapter 13 A Prayer
Hey someone told me to start updating sooner and since I have a day off of school for no reason (not that um complaining I happen to like not having to go to that prison) I thought I'd write another chapter. Thank you to everyone who is reading this. Also, these characters aren't mine, they all come from the brilliant mind of S.E. Hinton.
Darry grounded me. I couldn't blame him. They were worried about me. I am worried about me. Let's see how long am I grounded for? 3 months that's right I remember now it's three months. And I've been sitting here for 3 hours. Darry and Soda left me here in the room alone. They said I couldn't come out until dinner. Oh well that's aight. Hmmm I wonder what Darry and Soda are talking about.
I stealthily snuck into the other room where I could hear Darry and Soda. I could here the whole gang was in there. Well not the whole gang. Just the ones still left.
"Pony get back into your room!!!!! Right now!"
I ran back into the room. How did he know? Maybe he has super vision, like the real Superman. That's Darry, always knows whats going on when. But he doesn't know what's going on with me. Oh well I guess he can't always be perfect. I can't always be perfect. Nobody can be perfect. Especially not me.
Ugh! Pony stop thinking like that stop it! Your gonna end up alone and unhappy if you keep thinking like that. Wait I already am alone and unhappy. Well at least I don't have to worry about ending up like that. Maybe I've always been like this. Before I just hid it. I've always kept secrets, except from Johnny. He was someone I could always talk to no matter what it was about. He was always someone who would listen. I need a friend. Oh well I have school tomorrow that should take my mind off of things since I need to make up the work that I've missed.
Dinner was quiet and as soon as I left the table I heard them start talking again. Let them talk though. That just shows that they aren't really my friends if they can't confront me face to face. And they resort to talking about me behind my back. I need to find a new friend. I can't go on like this. Not being able to depend on people. It just doesn't work like that. Life should be fun and friends should be friends. Instead for me life is something I dread facing when I get up in the morning and my friends act like jerks as soon as I walk out of the room. I was still thinking about all of this when I went to bed. That night I prayed before I went to bed. It was a long prayer that was between me and God, so I locked the door to the room before I said it.
"Lord all mighty. I never pray anymore. I never go to church anymore. And you probably don't want to listen to me. I need someone to talk to though. I need help. I need a lot of help. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. When Johnny and Dally died it seemed like my world stopped but everything else kept going. Now I'm in a real mess and I can't get out of it by myself.
I've always felt that fighting was wrong. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one with a conscience around here. I can't help feeling the way I feel despite the fact that I'm a greaser. The day that Johnny died was the day that I felt the pain of fighting 20 times worse. I feel bad for anyone I've ever beaten up. I feel bad for everyone who is poor. I feel bad for everyone with a problem and I see the pains of the world and I want to cry. When Johnny died my reason for laughing died too so I never felt any relief from the pain.
Everything I have ever felt and never said is starting to catch up to me. And I don't think I can handle the pains of everyone else much longer. I just don't know how much longer. And when I'm gone please take care of my family I still love them all of em. The whole gang, even Steve. I just hope that I get some help."
Hey someone told me to start updating sooner and since I have a day off of school for no reason (not that um complaining I happen to like not having to go to that prison) I thought I'd write another chapter. Thank you to everyone who is reading this. Also, these characters aren't mine, they all come from the brilliant mind of S.E. Hinton.
Darry grounded me. I couldn't blame him. They were worried about me. I am worried about me. Let's see how long am I grounded for? 3 months that's right I remember now it's three months. And I've been sitting here for 3 hours. Darry and Soda left me here in the room alone. They said I couldn't come out until dinner. Oh well that's aight. Hmmm I wonder what Darry and Soda are talking about.
I stealthily snuck into the other room where I could hear Darry and Soda. I could here the whole gang was in there. Well not the whole gang. Just the ones still left.
"Pony get back into your room!!!!! Right now!"
I ran back into the room. How did he know? Maybe he has super vision, like the real Superman. That's Darry, always knows whats going on when. But he doesn't know what's going on with me. Oh well I guess he can't always be perfect. I can't always be perfect. Nobody can be perfect. Especially not me.
Ugh! Pony stop thinking like that stop it! Your gonna end up alone and unhappy if you keep thinking like that. Wait I already am alone and unhappy. Well at least I don't have to worry about ending up like that. Maybe I've always been like this. Before I just hid it. I've always kept secrets, except from Johnny. He was someone I could always talk to no matter what it was about. He was always someone who would listen. I need a friend. Oh well I have school tomorrow that should take my mind off of things since I need to make up the work that I've missed.
Dinner was quiet and as soon as I left the table I heard them start talking again. Let them talk though. That just shows that they aren't really my friends if they can't confront me face to face. And they resort to talking about me behind my back. I need to find a new friend. I can't go on like this. Not being able to depend on people. It just doesn't work like that. Life should be fun and friends should be friends. Instead for me life is something I dread facing when I get up in the morning and my friends act like jerks as soon as I walk out of the room. I was still thinking about all of this when I went to bed. That night I prayed before I went to bed. It was a long prayer that was between me and God, so I locked the door to the room before I said it.
"Lord all mighty. I never pray anymore. I never go to church anymore. And you probably don't want to listen to me. I need someone to talk to though. I need help. I need a lot of help. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. When Johnny and Dally died it seemed like my world stopped but everything else kept going. Now I'm in a real mess and I can't get out of it by myself.
I've always felt that fighting was wrong. Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one with a conscience around here. I can't help feeling the way I feel despite the fact that I'm a greaser. The day that Johnny died was the day that I felt the pain of fighting 20 times worse. I feel bad for anyone I've ever beaten up. I feel bad for everyone who is poor. I feel bad for everyone with a problem and I see the pains of the world and I want to cry. When Johnny died my reason for laughing died too so I never felt any relief from the pain.
Everything I have ever felt and never said is starting to catch up to me. And I don't think I can handle the pains of everyone else much longer. I just don't know how much longer. And when I'm gone please take care of my family I still love them all of em. The whole gang, even Steve. I just hope that I get some help."