"Good luck at the theme park," called Thea the clerk as Buster, Francine,
Muffy, Brain, Binky, and Fern left the bookstore. Their excited young fans
spilled out onto the sidewalk, cheering and waving goodbye.
The cute blond girl caught up with Brain, smiled at him, and slipped a piece of paper into his hand. He quickly examined it and saw that the name Bella Tarski, and a phone number, were written on it. He grinned slightly and stuffed the paper into his pants pocket.
"She said the police station was that way," said Francine, pointing down the street in a westerly direction. The adoring kids shuffled back into the bookstore as they heard their parents calling.
"No, I think she said it was that way," said Buster, pointing eastward.
"I think Francine's right," said Muffy.
"Well, I agree with Buster," said Binky.
"I'm pretty sure she said that way," said Fern, pointing to the west.
All eyes turned to Brain, who was staring dreamily into space.
"Well, smart boy?" said Francine sarcastically.
"Huh?" Brain suddenly snapped out of his trance.
"Which way is the police station?" Francine asked him.
"That way," said Brain quickly, pointing to the east.
"I think he's just siding with the boys," Muffy said to Francine.
"What makes you so sure it's that way?" Fern asked Brain.
Brain pointed to a green-and-white sign attached to a lamp post about ten yards away, upon which were printed the words POLICE STATION and an arrow.
"Oh..." said Francine with a hint of embarrassment.
"Hmph!" grunted Muffy. "You boys can do it the hard way if you want. As for me, I'm going to ask for directions."
----
"Sit down, kids," said the young policewoman behind the desk. On her nametag was engraved the last name Gonzales. As the Elwood kids took seats, a male officer entered the room and surveyed them with surprise and interest.
"Halloween's not for another three months," he remarked. His tag bore the name Clancy.
"We are NOT trick-or-treaters," said Muffy indignantly.
Officer Gonzales took a pen out of a Disney World mug and prepared to write on her notepad. "What are your names, kids?"
"I'm Buster Baxter," said Buster.
"And I'm Francine Frensky," said Francine.
"And I'm Binky Barnes," said Binky.
"I sense a pattern emerging," said Officer Clancy, who remained standing.
"I'm Muffy Crosswire," said Muffy. "As in, Crosswire Motors."
"Crosswire Motors?" said Officer Clancy. "Never heard of it."
"My name's Fern Walters," said Fern.
"And I'm Alan Powers," said Brain, "but my friends call me The Brain."
"Okay, enough with the jokes," said Officer Gonzales impatiently. "What are your real names?"
"We just told you our real names," said Francine firmly.
"Right," said the policewoman incredulously. "And I suppose the next thing you'll tell me is that Arthur the Aardvark is missing and presumed dead."
"How did you know?" asked Fern, surprised.
"My kid watches your show," Officer Gonzales replied.
"Show?" said Buster, looking at the others. "We have a show?"
"Yes," Gonzales continued, "and now he wants to go to your theme park when it opens. That's what this is about, isn't it? You're pulling some kind of publicity stunt."
"That's not true!" shouted Brain, rising to his feet. "We're here because we were kidnapped and taken away from our homes, and our friend Arthur may be seriously hurt or dead. Now, are you going to help us find him, or not?"
Gonzales' voice was starting to sound angry. "I can't help you without knowing who you really are. Looking for missing cartoon characters is not part of my job description. Now, why don't you take off those masks, so we can have a good look at your faces?"
"They're not masks," said Binky as Brain sat down.
"He really is that funny-looking," joked Francine, gesturing at Binky.
"Hey!" Binky growled.
"Do your parents live around here?" asked Officer Clancy.
"No," answered Buster, "they all live in Elwood City."
"Elwood City?" Clancy thought for a moment. "I never heard of it. Which state is it in?"
"It doesn't exist, Clancy," said Gonzales. "It's the town where the Arthur show takes place."
"The Arthur show?" Clancy thought for another moment. "Never heard of it."
"It's a kid's show," said Gonzales. "I think these kids have been walking around in their costumes in the hot sun for too long. Now they think they're actually the characters from the show."
"But we ARE the characters from the show!" Muffy blurted out. "Uh...I mean..."
"Guys," Fern said to the others, "I think we'd better start cooperating, or else we'll never get anywhere."
The other kids stared blankly at her. She turned to face Officer Gonzales.
"You're absolutely right, officer. We're local kids who were recruited to dress up like the characters on the Arthur show. Only something bad happened, and the next thing we knew, we were being carried away in a truck, and Arthur...er, the kid who was playing Arthur looked like he was dead."
Officer Gonzales scribbled down some notes and then spoke. "This is more like it. Now, what are your names?"
"Er...uh..." Fern stammered. "My name's...Elizabeth. Elizabeth Barrett." She pointed at Muffy. "And this is Yolanda Walgreen. As in, Walgreen's 24-Hour Pharmacy."
"I am going to kill you with my bare hands, Fern," Muffy muttered under her breath.
"My name's Flash Gordon," said Buster, "but all my friends call me Jim."
"Alan Powers is my real name," said Brain. "I'm not really a brain. I just play one on TV."
"And my name's Brenda Starr," said Francine. "That's with two R's."
"And I'm Englebert Humperdinck," said Binky.
"Can you spell that?" Gonzales asked him.
"Uh..."
"Never mind," said Gonzales, turning her head to look at Fern. "What are your parents' names, Elizabeth?"
"Uh...my parents are out of town," said Fern. "They're always traveling. My dad's a...a...a diplomat."
"What about your parents, Yolanda?"
"Well, you know," said Muffy, casting a quick dirty glance at Fern, "my parents have to go all over the place managing their chain of drug stores."
"What about you, er, Flash?"
"My dad's a pilot," Buster explained. "And my mom is a...a...a pilot, too."
Officer Gonzales put her pen down. "Hold on a minute. Am I to understand that all of your parents are away, and you're wandering around downtown Orlando on your own?"
"Yeah, that more or less sums it up," said Francine cheerily.
"Kids these days," Officer Clancy remarked. "Too much freedom." He turned on his heel and left the room.
"Isn't anybody watching you?" asked Gonzales with growing alarm in her voice.
"Nope," said Fern casually. "Looking back at it now, I guess that's why we got kidnapped."
Gonzales put her hand to her forehead and groaned. Clancy re-entered the room, this time with a basket of chocolate chip cookies in his hand.
"Cookies, anyone?" he said to the kids.
"Sure," said Francine as she raised a hand and pulled a cookie from the basket.
"Francine, no!" Buster exclaimed with fright.
Francine replaced the cookie. "What's wrong, Buster?"
"We don't know if those alien cookies are safe to eat," said Buster. "They could be laced with mind-controlling drugs."
Francine scowled at him. "Don't be silly, Buster...I mean, Jim." Clancy held the cookie basket in front of her again, but she waved it off. "Come to think of it, I'm not that hungry."
"Is anyone else hungry?" asked Clancy. All the kids shook their heads.
"Buster's not hungry?" Muffy whispered to Francine. "Now I know this is a dream."
"We'll have to find some other way to get them to take off their masks," Gonzales said to Clancy.
Several hours passed, and the conversation between the kids and the officers remained unproductive.
"So I asked my mom and dad how long they would be in Karjakistan," Brain recounted. "They said that the original mandate was for a six-month peacekeeping mission, but it would probably turn into five years."
Officer Clancy leaned against the wall, a bored expression on his face. Officer Gonzales, still sitting at her desk, struggled to keep her eyelids from drooping. She grabbed a nearby thermos and poured herself another cup of coffee.
Several more hours passed. The clock on the wall showed five P.M.
"...and that's how my parents got together," said Buster. "If my dad hadn't accidentally triggered the metal detector, I probably wouldn't be here today."
Muffy elbowed Fern, who was snoring loudly.
"I really think we've taken up too much of your time," Francine said to Officer Gonzales.
The policewoman was too busy yawning to respond.
"Not at all," said Officer Clancy as he took a bite out of a chocolate chip cookie.
As the kids rose to leave, Gonzales raised a hand to stop them. "I need a phone number so I can call you when the results of the plate trace come in," she said groggily.
Muffy glanced down at her cell phone, then at Gonzales. "Uh...well..."
Brain smiled. "Wait, I've got it." He pulled a slip of paper from his pants pocket and showed it to Officer Gonzales, who copied what was written onto her notepad.
"Thanks," she said to him. "It'll probably be around noon tomorrow."
"Can I make a phone call before I go?" Brain asked her.
"Sure, whatever," she replied indifferently.
"The phone's out in the lobby," said Officer Clancy.
As the kids left the room, Officer Gonzales sank her head into her hands and moaned.
"Well, you must admit, that was interesting," Clancy remarked.
"It's already five," said Gonzales, glancing at the wall clock. "I wasted a whole day with those people. A whole day!"
Meanwhile, Brain located the courtesy phone in the lobby of the police station. His friends surrounded him, filled with curiosity.
"Whose number did you give her?" Binky asked him.
"Who are you calling?" asked Buster. "We don't know anybody on this planet."
"Maybe not, but we've got plenty of devoted fans," said Brain. He picked up the receiver and dialed Bella Tarski's number.
(To be continued...)
The cute blond girl caught up with Brain, smiled at him, and slipped a piece of paper into his hand. He quickly examined it and saw that the name Bella Tarski, and a phone number, were written on it. He grinned slightly and stuffed the paper into his pants pocket.
"She said the police station was that way," said Francine, pointing down the street in a westerly direction. The adoring kids shuffled back into the bookstore as they heard their parents calling.
"No, I think she said it was that way," said Buster, pointing eastward.
"I think Francine's right," said Muffy.
"Well, I agree with Buster," said Binky.
"I'm pretty sure she said that way," said Fern, pointing to the west.
All eyes turned to Brain, who was staring dreamily into space.
"Well, smart boy?" said Francine sarcastically.
"Huh?" Brain suddenly snapped out of his trance.
"Which way is the police station?" Francine asked him.
"That way," said Brain quickly, pointing to the east.
"I think he's just siding with the boys," Muffy said to Francine.
"What makes you so sure it's that way?" Fern asked Brain.
Brain pointed to a green-and-white sign attached to a lamp post about ten yards away, upon which were printed the words POLICE STATION and an arrow.
"Oh..." said Francine with a hint of embarrassment.
"Hmph!" grunted Muffy. "You boys can do it the hard way if you want. As for me, I'm going to ask for directions."
----
"Sit down, kids," said the young policewoman behind the desk. On her nametag was engraved the last name Gonzales. As the Elwood kids took seats, a male officer entered the room and surveyed them with surprise and interest.
"Halloween's not for another three months," he remarked. His tag bore the name Clancy.
"We are NOT trick-or-treaters," said Muffy indignantly.
Officer Gonzales took a pen out of a Disney World mug and prepared to write on her notepad. "What are your names, kids?"
"I'm Buster Baxter," said Buster.
"And I'm Francine Frensky," said Francine.
"And I'm Binky Barnes," said Binky.
"I sense a pattern emerging," said Officer Clancy, who remained standing.
"I'm Muffy Crosswire," said Muffy. "As in, Crosswire Motors."
"Crosswire Motors?" said Officer Clancy. "Never heard of it."
"My name's Fern Walters," said Fern.
"And I'm Alan Powers," said Brain, "but my friends call me The Brain."
"Okay, enough with the jokes," said Officer Gonzales impatiently. "What are your real names?"
"We just told you our real names," said Francine firmly.
"Right," said the policewoman incredulously. "And I suppose the next thing you'll tell me is that Arthur the Aardvark is missing and presumed dead."
"How did you know?" asked Fern, surprised.
"My kid watches your show," Officer Gonzales replied.
"Show?" said Buster, looking at the others. "We have a show?"
"Yes," Gonzales continued, "and now he wants to go to your theme park when it opens. That's what this is about, isn't it? You're pulling some kind of publicity stunt."
"That's not true!" shouted Brain, rising to his feet. "We're here because we were kidnapped and taken away from our homes, and our friend Arthur may be seriously hurt or dead. Now, are you going to help us find him, or not?"
Gonzales' voice was starting to sound angry. "I can't help you without knowing who you really are. Looking for missing cartoon characters is not part of my job description. Now, why don't you take off those masks, so we can have a good look at your faces?"
"They're not masks," said Binky as Brain sat down.
"He really is that funny-looking," joked Francine, gesturing at Binky.
"Hey!" Binky growled.
"Do your parents live around here?" asked Officer Clancy.
"No," answered Buster, "they all live in Elwood City."
"Elwood City?" Clancy thought for a moment. "I never heard of it. Which state is it in?"
"It doesn't exist, Clancy," said Gonzales. "It's the town where the Arthur show takes place."
"The Arthur show?" Clancy thought for another moment. "Never heard of it."
"It's a kid's show," said Gonzales. "I think these kids have been walking around in their costumes in the hot sun for too long. Now they think they're actually the characters from the show."
"But we ARE the characters from the show!" Muffy blurted out. "Uh...I mean..."
"Guys," Fern said to the others, "I think we'd better start cooperating, or else we'll never get anywhere."
The other kids stared blankly at her. She turned to face Officer Gonzales.
"You're absolutely right, officer. We're local kids who were recruited to dress up like the characters on the Arthur show. Only something bad happened, and the next thing we knew, we were being carried away in a truck, and Arthur...er, the kid who was playing Arthur looked like he was dead."
Officer Gonzales scribbled down some notes and then spoke. "This is more like it. Now, what are your names?"
"Er...uh..." Fern stammered. "My name's...Elizabeth. Elizabeth Barrett." She pointed at Muffy. "And this is Yolanda Walgreen. As in, Walgreen's 24-Hour Pharmacy."
"I am going to kill you with my bare hands, Fern," Muffy muttered under her breath.
"My name's Flash Gordon," said Buster, "but all my friends call me Jim."
"Alan Powers is my real name," said Brain. "I'm not really a brain. I just play one on TV."
"And my name's Brenda Starr," said Francine. "That's with two R's."
"And I'm Englebert Humperdinck," said Binky.
"Can you spell that?" Gonzales asked him.
"Uh..."
"Never mind," said Gonzales, turning her head to look at Fern. "What are your parents' names, Elizabeth?"
"Uh...my parents are out of town," said Fern. "They're always traveling. My dad's a...a...a diplomat."
"What about your parents, Yolanda?"
"Well, you know," said Muffy, casting a quick dirty glance at Fern, "my parents have to go all over the place managing their chain of drug stores."
"What about you, er, Flash?"
"My dad's a pilot," Buster explained. "And my mom is a...a...a pilot, too."
Officer Gonzales put her pen down. "Hold on a minute. Am I to understand that all of your parents are away, and you're wandering around downtown Orlando on your own?"
"Yeah, that more or less sums it up," said Francine cheerily.
"Kids these days," Officer Clancy remarked. "Too much freedom." He turned on his heel and left the room.
"Isn't anybody watching you?" asked Gonzales with growing alarm in her voice.
"Nope," said Fern casually. "Looking back at it now, I guess that's why we got kidnapped."
Gonzales put her hand to her forehead and groaned. Clancy re-entered the room, this time with a basket of chocolate chip cookies in his hand.
"Cookies, anyone?" he said to the kids.
"Sure," said Francine as she raised a hand and pulled a cookie from the basket.
"Francine, no!" Buster exclaimed with fright.
Francine replaced the cookie. "What's wrong, Buster?"
"We don't know if those alien cookies are safe to eat," said Buster. "They could be laced with mind-controlling drugs."
Francine scowled at him. "Don't be silly, Buster...I mean, Jim." Clancy held the cookie basket in front of her again, but she waved it off. "Come to think of it, I'm not that hungry."
"Is anyone else hungry?" asked Clancy. All the kids shook their heads.
"Buster's not hungry?" Muffy whispered to Francine. "Now I know this is a dream."
"We'll have to find some other way to get them to take off their masks," Gonzales said to Clancy.
Several hours passed, and the conversation between the kids and the officers remained unproductive.
"So I asked my mom and dad how long they would be in Karjakistan," Brain recounted. "They said that the original mandate was for a six-month peacekeeping mission, but it would probably turn into five years."
Officer Clancy leaned against the wall, a bored expression on his face. Officer Gonzales, still sitting at her desk, struggled to keep her eyelids from drooping. She grabbed a nearby thermos and poured herself another cup of coffee.
Several more hours passed. The clock on the wall showed five P.M.
"...and that's how my parents got together," said Buster. "If my dad hadn't accidentally triggered the metal detector, I probably wouldn't be here today."
Muffy elbowed Fern, who was snoring loudly.
"I really think we've taken up too much of your time," Francine said to Officer Gonzales.
The policewoman was too busy yawning to respond.
"Not at all," said Officer Clancy as he took a bite out of a chocolate chip cookie.
As the kids rose to leave, Gonzales raised a hand to stop them. "I need a phone number so I can call you when the results of the plate trace come in," she said groggily.
Muffy glanced down at her cell phone, then at Gonzales. "Uh...well..."
Brain smiled. "Wait, I've got it." He pulled a slip of paper from his pants pocket and showed it to Officer Gonzales, who copied what was written onto her notepad.
"Thanks," she said to him. "It'll probably be around noon tomorrow."
"Can I make a phone call before I go?" Brain asked her.
"Sure, whatever," she replied indifferently.
"The phone's out in the lobby," said Officer Clancy.
As the kids left the room, Officer Gonzales sank her head into her hands and moaned.
"Well, you must admit, that was interesting," Clancy remarked.
"It's already five," said Gonzales, glancing at the wall clock. "I wasted a whole day with those people. A whole day!"
Meanwhile, Brain located the courtesy phone in the lobby of the police station. His friends surrounded him, filled with curiosity.
"Whose number did you give her?" Binky asked him.
"Who are you calling?" asked Buster. "We don't know anybody on this planet."
"Maybe not, but we've got plenty of devoted fans," said Brain. He picked up the receiver and dialed Bella Tarski's number.
(To be continued...)