- Disclaimer: I do not own FFIX well except for in my alternate reality ^_^

Zidane: Ohayo everyone. Now can we get back to the story?

Dagger: Yes I still want to know why Steiner called my daughter a bitch.

Yoru: Okay here we go with the story.

Alexis: Mommy, Derrick touched my tail again.

Zidane & Dagger : *roll eyes *

Derrick: Did not!

Alexis: Did too!

Zidane: Okay come on you guys. Let's go and argue somewhere else where I will get a major headache and soon be ready to kill you both.

Alexis: Yay! Let's go!

Yoru: Okay…and back to the story….

Zidane came back into the room. "Wait a minute. Did I just hear what I think I heard?"

Dagger looked up. "That depends on what you think you heard."

"Are y-you ummm you know…."

"Pregnant?" Beatrix offered.

"Yeah, that's it." Zidane said.

Dagger sighed. "Zidane. I really don't know."

Just then a large crash sounds in the other room.

"Shit." Said Zidane smacking his forehead. "I forgot about Alexis."

"Zidane! Your Majesty!" Beatrix and Dagger exclaimed.

"What? I just kind of heard what you said and I came back in and …I told her not to move." Zidane finished.

"Well let's go see what she did now/"

The three adults walked into the room and saw a pile of shelves, paints , and other toys lying on the floor.

Dagger ran to the pile. "Alexis! Alexis! Oh God! Are you all right?"

"Mommy, the shelves go boom!" Alexis giggled. "And guess what Daddy? Guess what? They go boom on Rusty!" she said happily.

"Alexis!" yelled Dagger.

"Uh-oh. Yes Mommy?" she asked in an innocent voice.

"What happened?"

"Well…you see…umm"

"The truth. Now!"

"I was playing and I asked Rusty to get my doll off the top shelf and he couldn't reach it because he's short, ugly, and he really can't do much of anything, so you know-"

"Alexis!" Dagger warned. "Tell me what happened, not Steiner's faults and how he can't do anything."

"Well he couldn't reach it so I told him to get my chair and he stood up on it and I accidentally threw my ball at the shelf and it kind of fell on him." She finished. "But since it was an accident I'm not in any trouble…right?" she asked hopefully.

"Wrong." Dagger said.

"Daddy?" she asked.

"Well I don't-"

Dagger cut him off with a look. She walked over and whispered something soft and low in his ear. Zidane's eyes go very wide and he says " You know what Alexis? I think I completely agree with your mom."

"Awww man." Alexis sighed.

"First of all we need to get Steiner out." Dagger said.

"Do we have to?" Alexis asked. "All that work for nothing."

"I thought you said it was an accident." Dagger said.

"Well it was." Alexis said very quickly.

Just then a loud moan erupts from the pile on the floor.

"Oh Steier. Honey are you okay?" Beatrix asked.

"Yeah, I think so…I'm fine. Where is that little girl? Oh when I get my hands on her I'm gonna…. If she was my child I'd-"

"You'd what Steiner?" Dagger asked crossing her arms.

"Why Your Majesty…I was just…"

"Steiner I think that from now on you should probably keep your comments to yourself." Dagger said through clenched teeth.

"Oh! Why yes Your Majesty, of course!" said Steiner as he gets up from the pile and runs out of the room.

Vivi walked into the room and said "Hey Dagger chill out. Give him a break, I mean he's sworn to protect your family for goodness sake." Vivi said.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Dagger asked.

Zidane turned to Vivi. "Don't piss her off because I'll be the one to pay, not you."

"Zidane?" Dagger said.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to get this mess cleaned up okay?"

"Why do I have to do it? Alexis and Rusty-"

Dagger stands up and begins to leave the room.

"Wait where are you going?"

"I'm going to see Dr. Tot about something. I'll be back for dinner. Oh and by the way Derrick will be here at four." Dagger said.

"Why? Didn't he get enough of Alexis earlier?" Zidane asked grinning.

"Very funny. I'm, well you're babysitting."

"Again!"

"Yes. Remember when we needed some engineers and Kuja sent his over?"

"No but okay."

"Well tonight I'm returning the favor."

"So I'm babysitting until you get back?" Zidane asked.

"Yep. You can recruit Steiner and Vivi if you want. All you really have to do is keep Alexis and Derrick from killing each other. And no fighting at all Zidane Tribal! Do you understand me?"

"Not even Steiner?"

"If you fight Steiner you're going to hate life when you crawl into bed tonight."

Zidane looked at his wife, standing there with her hands on her hips. "Are you threatening me Mrs. Tribal? I must warn you, I don't like being threatened." He said grinning impishly.

Dagger tried to look serious as she said "Not a threat Mr. Tribal. A Promise."

Zidane kissed his wife goodbye. "Okay. Don't worry about a thing. We'll see you later."

"Daddy? Is Derrick really coming back over?" Alexis asked.

"Yes and you heard your mother. No fighting." Zidane answered.

"What happens if one of us casts something at the other person?" Alexis asked.

Zidane pretended to think for a few moments. "Well.." he said and grabbed her " I guess I'll just have to tickle you like this." He began to tickle her.

"Alexis giggled. "Daddy cut it out! Stop!"

Zidane stopped and his eyes turned solemn. "Then I'll string you both up by your tails and lock you in a room with…." He stopped.

Alexis's eyes went wide. "With who?"

"…Steiner." He said in an evil voice. "And I'll make you play with him and hear his rusty armor clink all night long or at least until your mother comes home. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"AHHHH! No! Please daddy don't do that. I won't fight I promise." Alexis said giggling.

"Knock, knock." Said a voice.

"It's Uncle Kuja, Daddy!" screamed Alexis.

Yoru: And we stop. I love cliffies.

Dagger: I always knew you would make a good father.

Zidane: uh-huh now everyone knows about my warm fuzzy moment with Alexis. Are you happy.

Yoru: * huggles Zidane* Arigato Zidy-chan.

Dagger: Hey!

Zidane: *walks over and kisses her. They begin to make out *

Yoru: * sigh* Get a room. Anywho before clothes start coming off say your line Dagger.

Dagger: What line? Oh yeah. Please R&R guys and Yoru wants to thank anyone who has reviewed already. She needs them guys believe me. Am I done now? Can I go back to my Zidy?

Yoru: Yes Arigato and I repeat what she said I do need the reviews.