At last they landed. Shakily, the six girls and the funny man stood up.
They were in a fancy, round chamber, filled with weird instruments, and
pictures of old guys in weird hats. Yet the most amazing thing was a
brilliantly colored red phoenix.
"Just on time, Mundungus," said a light, yet old sounding voice.
The girls turned around to see a very old man, stooped with age, and garbed
in rich purple and gold robes.
"Wtf?" Pocky asked.
"Yes, my dear. I'm sure this is quite confusing." The old man said smiling.
"Yet, due to your talents, we must not waste time. I am Albus Dumbledore,
the headmaster of Hogwarts, head of the Whizenmogat, order of Merlin, first
class. Like Mundungus here probably already explained, when you read Harry
Potter, an excellent buy by the way, you seeped up some magic. Enough to go
into level six. Here, at Hogwarts, you will receive your magical training.
You must work hard, as we all must so that we may go into the world, ready
to defend ourselves and loved ones. I must ask each of you to work
diligently, and succeed your professors expectations of you, as most of
them are not sure that bringing you here at such a late age is not a good
idea. Any questions?"
"Erm- has anyone else 'soaked up the magic?'" inquired Leah.
"No. You see, you three" he said gesturing to Tavari, Ace, and Leah, "have
discussed the books at scarily amazing levels, letting you absorb the
magic. And- it rubbed off on you three," he said gesturing to Gazelle,
Porky, and Pocky. "Anymore questions?"
"Are Harry Potter, Ron, and Draco hotties?" Porky inquired anxiously.
"Well, I'll let you decide." Said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye.
"Anything else?"
"What houses are we in?" Asked Ace.
"Excellent question." Said Dumbledore smiling. "There will be a special
sorting ceremony in the great hall at dinnertime. Anything else?"
"Whats gonna happen in real life? I mean- the uh- muggle world?" Asked
Tavari.
"Your parents and everyone else involved with you will all receive letters.
I'm sure they'll understand once they find out where you are, and still
receiving an excellent education in the magical arts. Now- it's almost time
for dinner, so follow Professor McGonagall to the dining hall. She will
your transfiguration instructor."
The six girls turned around, to stare at the intimidating instructor.
"Uh- you don't look like the movie one." Said Pocky.
"I hope not!" Snapped McGonagall. "I was most offended. Honestly- what were
they thinking?"
The real McGonagall had dark graying brown hair, pull back into a severely
tight bun. Like Dumbledore, she wore rich robes, yet hers were deep maroon,
almost black.
"Now don't dawdle!" With that, the Professor turned on her heals, not even
looking back to make sure the girls were following her. They passed through
a small staircase, and somehow, out the other side of a stone gargoyle.
Then, the made their way through stone halls, filled with moving pictures
and lined with classrooms. At last they were in the Great Hall. The hall
looked pretty much like the movie one, yet the ceiling didn't have a bunch
of random arches in it. It was just the sky. Each of the four tables were
filled with students of varying ages, all eating happily. The staff table
had more variety. There, there were tons of teachers, some of them not even
Tavari, Ace, and Leah couldn't even remember reading about. Dumbledore had
somehow had time to get to his spot and fill up his plate (oh yeah- they
filled magically!) before the group got there. From their spots behind
McGonagall, the could see other various professors. Sinastra (mysterious
looking with midnight blue robes), Snape (insanely greasy, huge nose, huge
scowl, black robes with green trim in suspicious pattern of snakes.)
Trelawney (who looked more like a bug then previously described), Hagrid
(HUGE and menacing- they said he was a good guy?), Flitwick (who by the way-
did not look like he had been electrocuted like the movie one, reminded
Tavari of a very old hobbit in robes), and a bunch of others that didn't
stand out to be anyone in particular.
Suddenly, everyone's attention was diverted to Dumbledore, as he stood up,
and cleared his throat. "Professors and Students of Hogwarts!" He said in a
suspiciously loud voice. "Today we welcome six more students to our mists.
In this dark time, we must make allowances for new people. Please don't
start any rivalries or any of that other suff.. Remember- United we stand,
and Divided we fall. Now we begin the sorting."
A man Tavari took to be Filch (and no- he did not look like the idiot
disneized version- he just looked like an old crackpot) brought out the
stool and sorting hat. McGonagall briskly marched towards the stool.
Deciding that they should follow, the girls marched suit.
"You will go in the order I say you will."
"Anne Brooks!"
"Why- does the first person to go get shot or something? Porky demanded.
"What about the song?" asked Leah anxiously? "I wanna dance to it!"
"The hell with the song!" Snapped the hat, surprising them all. "I've only
gotten two lines so far!"
"OMG!" screeched Porky. "It talks!"
"Speedo- haven't you read the books?" Inquired Ace.
"Yeah- but this isn't like the movie. I'm not putting that hat on my head.
It talks! What if it rapes me or something????"
"I seriously doubt it."
"Put on the damn hat or else it's detention for a month and 50 point from
your house!" Snapped McGonagall.
"Anne!" Said the hat all of a sudden. "If it will calm you down I will sing
something.
"Omg!" Screamed Porky. "It's trying to date me!"
"Porkyyyyyyy!" Tavari Yelled. "It's a hat!"
"That's why its so wrong!" Wailed Porky. McGonagall growled in impatience. With a flick of her wand, the hat jumped off the stool and jammed itself on Porky's head. "Omg!" Yelped Porky. "Its on top of me and its crooning words in my ears! What a pedophile!" "Hufflepuff!" The hat declared in what it obviously thought was a sexy voice. By this time, the whole school, which had been watching the escapade, was rolling around on the floor, laughing their heads off. "That sucks!" Yelled Porky, hurling an empty tube of lip-gloss at it. Trying to retain some of her dignity, Porky applied some hot pink lipstick. "Mercedes O'Shea." Making every effort to appear elvish and walk silently, Tavari walked over to the stool and sat down. Placing the hat on her head she settled down and waited for it to decide. Yet as soon as the hat began to talk, she began to crack up. "This is serious!" Snapped McGonagall. "I've never worn a talking hat before!" Grinned Tavari through her laughter. "Gryffindor!" The hat yelled in its normal voice. The table presumably called Gryffindor clapped. " Leah Card." Leah timidly walked up to the school and smiled at the hat, then at the huge audience. "Wow!" She exclaimed. "An audience!" Humming a song suspiciously like Britney Spears she busted out a few dance moves. McGonagall looked appalled, yet Dumbledore looked quite amused. Stealing a glance with her elvish eyes, Tavari noticed Snape looked like the books said he looked like when he saw Harry. By this time, Leah had finished her routine, and had bowed to her audience. Only Hagrid and Dumbledore clapped. She hurriedly placed the hat on her head and grinned, looking like her face had split in two. "Ravenclaw!" The hat announced. The Ravenclaw table (apparently) clapped and cheered. "Scottila Dickson!" Pocky walked towards the stool. "That hat looks like its Anime!" She squealed. "Good!" Tavari Groaned. "Ok- lets just get this over with- I'm friggen starving!" Pocky announced as she jammed the hat on her head. The sorting hat moved around a little bit and then announced "Gryffindor!" "Wtf! That's so cool!" Pocky announced as the Gryffindor table cheered. "Stadardina Tribute." Gazelle walked up to the hat, rolled her eyes, and put in on. "Huffepuff!" The hat announced. "Whatever.." Drawled Gazelle as she walked over to the table that had the most enthusiastic cheerers and sat next to Porky who was re-doing her hair. "Ace Vandall." Ace walked up beaming. "You know- this hat was Godric Gryffindor's." Ace announced. McGonagall rolled her eyes. "I've always wanted to do this!" Ace Squealed as she jammed the hat on her head. "Ravenclaw!" The hat announced. "WOO HOO!" Ace yelled. "The power of sluggy prevails!" "WOO HOO!" Leah responded as she stood up at the Ravenclaw table. "Torg would be so proud!" Tavari was dying at her place at the Gryffindor table. "Well now that that's over- snapped McGonagall- you may return to your meals. Honestly, muggles!" She said shaking her head. "Not anymore!" Ace crowed. The rest of the meal was uneventful; basically it was just spent looking for somewhat recognizable faces. Like the book said- the food was delicious, yet the last thing the girls thought of were the house elves. Pocky and Porky were in heaven. "Fooooooood!" They kept muttering between breaths. Three pounds later- the dishes cleared themselves. "You are dismissed!" Said Dumbledore.
Tavari and Pocky tried not to barf- they'd eaten way too much. "Hello- I'm Ron- Gryffindor prefect." Said a voice behind them. "Ron!" Tavari gasped. "You're Harry's friend! I've read all about you!" Ron turned red and looked embarrassed. "Uh- yeah. so follow me to the common room." Pocky and Tavari did as told. "Thank God he looks better than the movie Ron!" Pocky hissed. "He's hot in a way!" Uh oh. Tavari thought. ON the way to the common room, Ron gave them a rundown of all the professors, rooms, and so on. Pocky seemed to be quite interested. At last the made their way to the all to famous fat lady portrait. If anything, the fat lady was not fat, but insanely enormous. She looked like a tan and pink elephant. "Lle naa vanima!" Ron said in a loud voice. Tavari snorted. "Um- do you know what you just said?" "Nope- something in elvish I guess. Who cares?" "Fine- tell the fat lady she's beautiful every time you wanna get in the common room place! "Vain old bat!" Ron muttered darkly. Pocky giggled insanely, and batted her eyes. "Uh- do you have something stuck in your eyes?" Ron asked looking puzzled. "Nooo," said Pocky dreamily. The trio made their way into the large common room. It was filled with bright red couches, stuffed lions, and other students. "Ron what are you doing?" Asked a bossy voice behind them. "You should be studying!" "Aw Hermione! I'm showing them around!" Ron protested. "Ugh. Boys." "OMG! They compare you to Guenevere on fan sites!" Said Tavari. " Guenevere? Oh yes, Camelot, Legends of Arthur. She's in sooo many books. Now I have some studying to do." She said gesturing towards a table laden with books. "Wtf?" Pocky screeched. "How much work do they give you here?" "Don't ask Hermione." Muttered Ron. "She does twice the amount required."
"Oh Ron!" Hermione groaned. "You just do half the requirement!" "Whatever. Now- I'll take you to your rooms." Ron led them up a narrow staircase and down an hall fill with doors labeled with different yeas (first years, fifth years.) until they reached "sixth years." Ron kicked the door open, not even bothering to knock. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Several girls screamed hastily covering themselves. "You slime ball!" they screeched. Muttered a string of curse words under his breath, Ron hastily sprinted down the hall. "So much for the tour," Tavari muttered as she quickly entered the chamber and slammed the door behind her. "God- he's such a man!" Breathed Pocky. "Uh- right. Moving on. I guess this is our stuff?" asked Tavari as she saw two four-poster beds with gold and maroon hangings. A pile of what appeared be school things was next to the beds. "WTF!" Demanded Pocky. "These are worse than Bishops things!" She held a long sleeved white blouse in one hand, a knee length pleated skirt in her other hand, and a long black robe in her mouth." "Least they have more than two pleats. And they said students were on the uniform council." Tavari muttered. "NO wonder Ron said that the pickings at Hogwarts were slim!" moaned Pocky. "God- his fiery red hair." "And abnormally large feet." Finished Tavari. "Buenos Noches!" "I'm getting gorgified!" muttered Pocky in return. "Muggles," a fellow sixth year muttered from a nearby bed.
Ace and Leah had quite a different time. Led to their common room by an un- important prefect, the found themselves in a chamber, lined with bookshelves. "I always knew I wanted to be a Ravenclaw." breathed Leah. "If these are school books- no wonder Tavari's not in Ravenclaw!" Ace replied. They trudged up to their rooms with the unimportant prefect and settled down in their four poster beds (which had blue hangings by the way). "Leah?" asked Ace as she settled down in her large bed. "Umm hmm?" "Wonder of Remy's here. "Oh God. Wonder when we get our supplies?" "Who cares? Wonder if Remy's here." "Night Ace." Leah said in a dismissive tone. "Do you think he's here?" Ace persisted. "My dear sweet darling Remy." But Leah was already asleep. Gazelle and Porky had a entirely different time. They were led to the common room by a strange girl named Hannah Abott. "We'll be great friends!" She said, beaming at them. "Whatever," said Gazelle. "Why- so you can watch me sleep?" Demanded Porky. Hannah just giggled. The Hufflepuff room was a hideous shade of yellow, which wasn't improved by the many black robed figures wandering around. "Were gonna be great friends! I'm Ernie." Said a boy. "We're gonna be loyal to each other!" said another girl. "OMG!" Cried Porky as she applied purple lip gloss. "I don't do girls. Hasta la vista bebe!" "Whatever Porky." Remarked Gazelle coolly.
"That's why its so wrong!" Wailed Porky. McGonagall growled in impatience. With a flick of her wand, the hat jumped off the stool and jammed itself on Porky's head. "Omg!" Yelped Porky. "Its on top of me and its crooning words in my ears! What a pedophile!" "Hufflepuff!" The hat declared in what it obviously thought was a sexy voice. By this time, the whole school, which had been watching the escapade, was rolling around on the floor, laughing their heads off. "That sucks!" Yelled Porky, hurling an empty tube of lip-gloss at it. Trying to retain some of her dignity, Porky applied some hot pink lipstick. "Mercedes O'Shea." Making every effort to appear elvish and walk silently, Tavari walked over to the stool and sat down. Placing the hat on her head she settled down and waited for it to decide. Yet as soon as the hat began to talk, she began to crack up. "This is serious!" Snapped McGonagall. "I've never worn a talking hat before!" Grinned Tavari through her laughter. "Gryffindor!" The hat yelled in its normal voice. The table presumably called Gryffindor clapped. " Leah Card." Leah timidly walked up to the school and smiled at the hat, then at the huge audience. "Wow!" She exclaimed. "An audience!" Humming a song suspiciously like Britney Spears she busted out a few dance moves. McGonagall looked appalled, yet Dumbledore looked quite amused. Stealing a glance with her elvish eyes, Tavari noticed Snape looked like the books said he looked like when he saw Harry. By this time, Leah had finished her routine, and had bowed to her audience. Only Hagrid and Dumbledore clapped. She hurriedly placed the hat on her head and grinned, looking like her face had split in two. "Ravenclaw!" The hat announced. The Ravenclaw table (apparently) clapped and cheered. "Scottila Dickson!" Pocky walked towards the stool. "That hat looks like its Anime!" She squealed. "Good!" Tavari Groaned. "Ok- lets just get this over with- I'm friggen starving!" Pocky announced as she jammed the hat on her head. The sorting hat moved around a little bit and then announced "Gryffindor!" "Wtf! That's so cool!" Pocky announced as the Gryffindor table cheered. "Stadardina Tribute." Gazelle walked up to the hat, rolled her eyes, and put in on. "Huffepuff!" The hat announced. "Whatever.." Drawled Gazelle as she walked over to the table that had the most enthusiastic cheerers and sat next to Porky who was re-doing her hair. "Ace Vandall." Ace walked up beaming. "You know- this hat was Godric Gryffindor's." Ace announced. McGonagall rolled her eyes. "I've always wanted to do this!" Ace Squealed as she jammed the hat on her head. "Ravenclaw!" The hat announced. "WOO HOO!" Ace yelled. "The power of sluggy prevails!" "WOO HOO!" Leah responded as she stood up at the Ravenclaw table. "Torg would be so proud!" Tavari was dying at her place at the Gryffindor table. "Well now that that's over- snapped McGonagall- you may return to your meals. Honestly, muggles!" She said shaking her head. "Not anymore!" Ace crowed. The rest of the meal was uneventful; basically it was just spent looking for somewhat recognizable faces. Like the book said- the food was delicious, yet the last thing the girls thought of were the house elves. Pocky and Porky were in heaven. "Fooooooood!" They kept muttering between breaths. Three pounds later- the dishes cleared themselves. "You are dismissed!" Said Dumbledore.
Tavari and Pocky tried not to barf- they'd eaten way too much. "Hello- I'm Ron- Gryffindor prefect." Said a voice behind them. "Ron!" Tavari gasped. "You're Harry's friend! I've read all about you!" Ron turned red and looked embarrassed. "Uh- yeah. so follow me to the common room." Pocky and Tavari did as told. "Thank God he looks better than the movie Ron!" Pocky hissed. "He's hot in a way!" Uh oh. Tavari thought. ON the way to the common room, Ron gave them a rundown of all the professors, rooms, and so on. Pocky seemed to be quite interested. At last the made their way to the all to famous fat lady portrait. If anything, the fat lady was not fat, but insanely enormous. She looked like a tan and pink elephant. "Lle naa vanima!" Ron said in a loud voice. Tavari snorted. "Um- do you know what you just said?" "Nope- something in elvish I guess. Who cares?" "Fine- tell the fat lady she's beautiful every time you wanna get in the common room place! "Vain old bat!" Ron muttered darkly. Pocky giggled insanely, and batted her eyes. "Uh- do you have something stuck in your eyes?" Ron asked looking puzzled. "Nooo," said Pocky dreamily. The trio made their way into the large common room. It was filled with bright red couches, stuffed lions, and other students. "Ron what are you doing?" Asked a bossy voice behind them. "You should be studying!" "Aw Hermione! I'm showing them around!" Ron protested. "Ugh. Boys." "OMG! They compare you to Guenevere on fan sites!" Said Tavari. " Guenevere? Oh yes, Camelot, Legends of Arthur. She's in sooo many books. Now I have some studying to do." She said gesturing towards a table laden with books. "Wtf?" Pocky screeched. "How much work do they give you here?" "Don't ask Hermione." Muttered Ron. "She does twice the amount required."
"Oh Ron!" Hermione groaned. "You just do half the requirement!" "Whatever. Now- I'll take you to your rooms." Ron led them up a narrow staircase and down an hall fill with doors labeled with different yeas (first years, fifth years.) until they reached "sixth years." Ron kicked the door open, not even bothering to knock. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Several girls screamed hastily covering themselves. "You slime ball!" they screeched. Muttered a string of curse words under his breath, Ron hastily sprinted down the hall. "So much for the tour," Tavari muttered as she quickly entered the chamber and slammed the door behind her. "God- he's such a man!" Breathed Pocky. "Uh- right. Moving on. I guess this is our stuff?" asked Tavari as she saw two four-poster beds with gold and maroon hangings. A pile of what appeared be school things was next to the beds. "WTF!" Demanded Pocky. "These are worse than Bishops things!" She held a long sleeved white blouse in one hand, a knee length pleated skirt in her other hand, and a long black robe in her mouth." "Least they have more than two pleats. And they said students were on the uniform council." Tavari muttered. "NO wonder Ron said that the pickings at Hogwarts were slim!" moaned Pocky. "God- his fiery red hair." "And abnormally large feet." Finished Tavari. "Buenos Noches!" "I'm getting gorgified!" muttered Pocky in return. "Muggles," a fellow sixth year muttered from a nearby bed.
Ace and Leah had quite a different time. Led to their common room by an un- important prefect, the found themselves in a chamber, lined with bookshelves. "I always knew I wanted to be a Ravenclaw." breathed Leah. "If these are school books- no wonder Tavari's not in Ravenclaw!" Ace replied. They trudged up to their rooms with the unimportant prefect and settled down in their four poster beds (which had blue hangings by the way). "Leah?" asked Ace as she settled down in her large bed. "Umm hmm?" "Wonder of Remy's here. "Oh God. Wonder when we get our supplies?" "Who cares? Wonder if Remy's here." "Night Ace." Leah said in a dismissive tone. "Do you think he's here?" Ace persisted. "My dear sweet darling Remy." But Leah was already asleep. Gazelle and Porky had a entirely different time. They were led to the common room by a strange girl named Hannah Abott. "We'll be great friends!" She said, beaming at them. "Whatever," said Gazelle. "Why- so you can watch me sleep?" Demanded Porky. Hannah just giggled. The Hufflepuff room was a hideous shade of yellow, which wasn't improved by the many black robed figures wandering around. "Were gonna be great friends! I'm Ernie." Said a boy. "We're gonna be loyal to each other!" said another girl. "OMG!" Cried Porky as she applied purple lip gloss. "I don't do girls. Hasta la vista bebe!" "Whatever Porky." Remarked Gazelle coolly.