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Ch. 1 "A direction"
Harry opened his eyes and blinked twice in the morning light. It had been a long night filled with dreams that he would only wish on Draco Malfoy. Well, maybe not he considered as he sat up in bed. Don't want to give that sodding git any ideas—hell, he probably learned them from his father years ago anyway.
Cedric Diggory's death had hung on his conscious thoughts every moment from the time he landed face down in the grass. "Kill the spare" the voice always rasped. Cedric Diggory was no spare. While talking to the Diggorys Harry had decided that he would devote the rest of his life to the memory of Cedric. Who is Voldermort to decide who lives and dies? Why couldn't he take me and be over with it? Damn luck, damn circumstances, damn priori incantatum. Why should he always be "the boy who lived?"
The one who lived and felt was closer to the truth. Once again Harry had survived the attack by Voldermort and was left in the ashes, or in this case, the churned up sod of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Feelings were the problem. He had lost his mother and father before he knew he had them. Now he had lost Cedric too. It wasn't that the two were close, but there had been a bond of friendship that had formed in that maze. Harry had been looking forward to drinking a pint with Cedric when they were old men. Now that was gone. Professor Dumbledore had told him in his last owl that Harry was making progress toward healing. Was healing that empty feeling he felt? Harry had felt numb for weeks, then a dark emptiness had settled in on him. He couldn't help but wonder if this was a permanent feeling.
I wonder what pot is like? Maybe drinking would help. It certainly couldn't hurt. Harry had tried smoking once and realized that inhaling flaming herbs was not for him. He liked butterbeer a lot. He had ordered one gallon and a pint of pure grain alcohol to strengthen the brew. He spent his first afternoon at the Dursley's completely crocked but had given it up immediately the next morning.
Harry had spent an abusive 4 days with the Dursleys before he had gotten fed up and owled Dumbledore. Harry grinned at the result as Hermione called him down to breakfast. An entire summer with Hermione Granger. Harry liked the thought. He didn't harbor any romantic feelings toward his best friend but Hermione was a definite improvement over Dudley. And he couldn't argue with the headmaster's logic that Voldermort would find him more easily at Ron's than at Hermione's.
"How'd you sleep last night" she asked.
"The sleep was great—the dreams weren't. Maybe I should get another reel on the film?"
"Harry! I know things are rough for you but do you always have to joke?"
"Laughter is the best medicine" he said.
"I guess" she said "but could you at least wait until after noon to joke?"
"What's for breakfast" he artlessly changed the subject.
"The usual" she said with relish.
Harry had never noticed that she ate the same breakfast day in and day out at Hogwarts. Here at her house was no exception. Oatmeal with grated apple baked in, two pieces of toast, one glass of milk, one glass of orange juice, and a muffin. Harry liked oatmeal—from time to time. He had been here for a week and was starting to sour on the cheerful man with the buckle on his hat. He would kill for a fry-up or even some cereal.
"Don't you ever get tired of this stuff" he asked playfully.
"Yes actually, the trick is to keep eating it until you like it again."
"Hermione why would you do that to yourself" Harry asked in shock.
"Regularity has its upside. It is a lot easier to stay disciplined when you are able to control your environment. I can only study the way that I do because I control my environment."
"What about me? I'm part of your environment and you can't control me now can you?" Harry gloated with an impish tone.
"As I recall you are the reason I missed question 23 on my charms exam our third year" she replied tartly.
"And Cho was the reason I don't remember an entire lecture last year in History of Magic! Just wish it hadn't been all in my memory. I wouldn't mind snogging with her in a broom closet" Harry said wishfully.
"You men and your libidos" Hermione said with a huff.
"Come off it then" said Harry. "A good snogging would do you good."
"I beg your pardon?" giggled Hermione as she tried to look cross at the only person who she could never really stay angry with—that and he had a point.
"My biggest concern is who it is going to be with" chided Harry who knew that Hermione had someone on her mind.
"There are more things to life than trying to lick each other's tonsils off Harry Potter!"
"I know, but copping a feel is rather forward on the first kiss isn't it?"
"Harry! How could you? You would never……"
"This breakfast really isn't that bad. I think I'm getting better at this discipline thing" Harry once again shifted topics.
"Speaking of discipline, I think we need some study time today" Hermione broached the most obscene subject of summer vacation.
"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that" Harry confessed. She had heard the story after his first nightmare so Harry figured now would be an appropriate time to bring up the subject of study. "I'm keen to move on in my studies. I know we have OWLs this year, but I'm not worried about that. I have decided to dedicate my life to the memory of Cedric. I think the best way to do that would be to step up the studying. I can't beat Voldermort if I'm a half wit now can I?"
"Harry, I could marry you on the spot" Hermione squealed.
"I know, I know, I'm a virile stallion I know… but if you wouldn't mind taking your eyes off my loins now I would be much more comfortable"
Hermione threw her wadded up muffin wrapper at him.