Disclaimer: I do not own dogma, so don't sue.
AN: This fic is for any one who doesn't like the people who run fanfiction.net. I joined up with my brother to make this story, in this fic he is know as SsjWolverine. So on with the story.
Assault on FanFiction.net
The chairman walks in to the boardroom for another long meeting. He greeted his board members by saying, "Good morning shoppers." The board members greeted him and he sat down at the head of the table. "Now," he said, "the first point of this meeting is to discuss the amount of yaoi, Yuri, and 'lemon' fanfiction on our site." One of the board members spoke, "I think we should get rid of them because they are too disdainful."
Another board member spoke, "I agree homeosexuality is not natural it is a disease, and the fics that talk about sex are just unorthodox."
Then the chairman spoke, "Ok, all those in favor of deleting all fics related to homosexuality and sex say aye." All of the board members said aye. "Opposed?" silence. "Then it is settled, all" but he was interrupted when he caught a strange sent, "Do I smell onions?" then every board member turned to see two people sitting in a corner.
The one carving the onion was female, with silvery wings, a long blood red jacket, she was wearing a short black skirt, and a black shirt that ended in a V-shape at her belly button. She had red arm sheaths, and a red veil over her mouth, she also had boots that were the same black as her shirt and skirt, she had a quiver of arrows strapped to her back and a bow crossing her chest, she also had a sword hanging off her waist. She had the handle of a Sai coming out of one of her boots, the other one was in her hand, she was using it to carve the onion. Her name was Ssjbookgirl.
The person sitting next to her was male. He was short and had a frizzy spiked hair style. He wore a purple X-men jacket, red fingerless gloves, a belt with an X-buckle on it, and strapped to his back was a large broadsword. His name was SsjWolverine.
The chairman didn't even bother to get up when he asked, "Who are you? How did you get past security?"
"I'm going to have to start by apologizing, my sister has a puncheon for the dramatic." Ssjbookgirl jumps up with a, "Oh, common!" and they start to argue under there breaths and SsjWolverine says, "Relax, I'm doing it," and Ssjbookgirl sits down.
SsjWolverine walks on to start a speech.
"FanFiction.net was started two years ago by a man who felt people needed to unleash our imaginations and free our souls, ever since thousands of stores and as a result posting a classes page, a search engine, and even a sister site for original fiction dubbed FictionPress.net. Uh. did I miss anything?"
The chairman spoke up, "You for got adultfanfiction.net."
"Damn it!" SsjWolverine exclaimed in anger.
The chairman asks, " Is there a point to all this?"
SsjWolverine says, "You and your board are fascists."
Ssjbookgirl jumps out of her seat and mutters as she passes SsjWolverine, "I can't believe you forgot adultfanfiction.net!" She then steps on the side of the chairman and says, "This is you," she sets the doll she was carving out of the onion in front of him. "Do you know much about voodoo?" the chairman shook his head no. "It's a fascinating practice, no real doctrine of faith to speak of. More an arrangement of superstitions the most well-known of which is the voodoo doll. You see-" she sneezed suddenly and looks around expectantly, when nothing happens she continues, "a mockup of an individual is subjected to various pokes and prods, the desired result is that the individual will feel those effects."
The chairman looks fearful and tells one of his board members to call security. Before the board member could touch the comm. Ssjbookgirl threw her Sai at it and said, "All lines are currently down."
SsjWolverine said, "Your doing it again. Stop. What did we talk about? "You are responsible for creating a site that features high censorship, come on this is America not a communist community! You find a fic you don't like you delete in automatically. You obliterated all the MST's, you are trying to block out all the lemons and now I here you are going to annihilate all yaoi and Yuri fanfiction, which happen to my sisters and my favorites.
"More then that I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. You continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you Mr. Burton. Last year, you cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids." "In the bed you and your wife share, no less." Said Ssjbookgirl giving him a thumbs up. SsjWolverine started up again, "Mr. Newmen. You got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party an then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out , just so you could break up with her guilt free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed her self three months latter. "Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Wary compassionate Mr. Brace. "Mr. Ray put his mother in a third rate nursing home and used the profits from the sail of her home to buy an Oriental rug for himself. Heavens." Ssjbookgirl was putting in a Lickon Park cd and turned it in to the song 'Crawling'. "Mr. Barker flew th Thailand on the company account to have sex with an 11-year old boy. "Mr. Holtemar used to work for Disney and was fired for oking the production of Mickey dolls form materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe because it was-survey says.less costly." He turned to the only women on the board and said, "You on the other hand are an innocent. You lead a good life." He gives her a thumbs up as he says, "Good for you." Then he turned to the chairman. While Ssjbookgirl was dancing to 'Crawling' in the back round. "But, you, Mr. Whitland," SsjWolverine continues where he left off, "you have more skeletons in your closet then this assembled party. I can not even mention them aloud." SsjWolverine whispers' in his ear. When he finishes Ssjbookgirl says, "You're his father, you sick fuck!" Mr. Whithland starts crying. After coagulating eachother SsjWolvering leaves the room. "Well, alone at last. With the exception of Miss. Pryce here there isn't a decent human being amongst you. Not one. Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has any thing left to fear any more. You rest comfortable in seats of inscrutable power making up for all of your mistakes by censoring all that gratuitous fics. Lives shrouded in secrecy, even from one an other, but not from us." Ssjbookgirl started to walk out but stopped and turned, "Oh, forgot my little voodoo doll. Man, it really looks just like you, doesn't it? Look, if I believed enough in this, I wonder." she started making a sort of humming sound and waving her had over the onion voodoo doll. Her hand moving faster each time, the chairman started to look scared. She moved her hand faster and slammed her hand down as she screamed. Startling all the board members. Nothing happened and she said, "Come on I didn't believe in voodoo." And walked out muttering to her self, "voodoo," the bored tried to under stand wheat that was all about, that is until Ssjbookgirl walked in holding a vary long, vary sharp katana and said, "But I do believe in this," she started chopping off heads and saying, "Don't run! Don't run! Fakes! Fakes! All of you fakes! In the bed you and your wife share non the less." Meanwhile SsjWolverine sat on the couch reading a MST he printed before they were all deleted. "'But I do believe in this.' What dose that mean" Ssjbookgirl says, "and one to grow on." She gets the only girl on the board up and they are covered in gore, then asks her if she wants a mint because she pulled out a box of Altoids, "Altoid? Go on its ok you've done nothing wrong. These guys were fakes. You're a pure soul. But you didn't say 'God bless you' when I sneezed." The girl screamed as Ssjbookgirl raised her katana, but before she could so any thing SsjWolverine called, "Bookgirl!" She told the woman, " Your getting off light." SsjWolverine called her name again. She said, "I know I'm coming." She walked out saying, "You're so lucky." Ssjbookgirl walked out and SsjWolverine takes a peek in side, "You could have saved some for me." Ssjbookgirl looked sheepish and says, "I was, but I got carried away." Then SsjWolverine says, "You know what? The hell with it, lets go home." Then they walked out singing, "Who's house? Runs house. I said who's house, runs house, who's house, say what? Runs house, say what? Marten, Marten, how ya'll been, Marten."
THE END
AN: This fic is for any one who doesn't like the people who run fanfiction.net. I joined up with my brother to make this story, in this fic he is know as SsjWolverine. So on with the story.
Assault on FanFiction.net
The chairman walks in to the boardroom for another long meeting. He greeted his board members by saying, "Good morning shoppers." The board members greeted him and he sat down at the head of the table. "Now," he said, "the first point of this meeting is to discuss the amount of yaoi, Yuri, and 'lemon' fanfiction on our site." One of the board members spoke, "I think we should get rid of them because they are too disdainful."
Another board member spoke, "I agree homeosexuality is not natural it is a disease, and the fics that talk about sex are just unorthodox."
Then the chairman spoke, "Ok, all those in favor of deleting all fics related to homosexuality and sex say aye." All of the board members said aye. "Opposed?" silence. "Then it is settled, all" but he was interrupted when he caught a strange sent, "Do I smell onions?" then every board member turned to see two people sitting in a corner.
The one carving the onion was female, with silvery wings, a long blood red jacket, she was wearing a short black skirt, and a black shirt that ended in a V-shape at her belly button. She had red arm sheaths, and a red veil over her mouth, she also had boots that were the same black as her shirt and skirt, she had a quiver of arrows strapped to her back and a bow crossing her chest, she also had a sword hanging off her waist. She had the handle of a Sai coming out of one of her boots, the other one was in her hand, she was using it to carve the onion. Her name was Ssjbookgirl.
The person sitting next to her was male. He was short and had a frizzy spiked hair style. He wore a purple X-men jacket, red fingerless gloves, a belt with an X-buckle on it, and strapped to his back was a large broadsword. His name was SsjWolverine.
The chairman didn't even bother to get up when he asked, "Who are you? How did you get past security?"
"I'm going to have to start by apologizing, my sister has a puncheon for the dramatic." Ssjbookgirl jumps up with a, "Oh, common!" and they start to argue under there breaths and SsjWolverine says, "Relax, I'm doing it," and Ssjbookgirl sits down.
SsjWolverine walks on to start a speech.
"FanFiction.net was started two years ago by a man who felt people needed to unleash our imaginations and free our souls, ever since thousands of stores and as a result posting a classes page, a search engine, and even a sister site for original fiction dubbed FictionPress.net. Uh. did I miss anything?"
The chairman spoke up, "You for got adultfanfiction.net."
"Damn it!" SsjWolverine exclaimed in anger.
The chairman asks, " Is there a point to all this?"
SsjWolverine says, "You and your board are fascists."
Ssjbookgirl jumps out of her seat and mutters as she passes SsjWolverine, "I can't believe you forgot adultfanfiction.net!" She then steps on the side of the chairman and says, "This is you," she sets the doll she was carving out of the onion in front of him. "Do you know much about voodoo?" the chairman shook his head no. "It's a fascinating practice, no real doctrine of faith to speak of. More an arrangement of superstitions the most well-known of which is the voodoo doll. You see-" she sneezed suddenly and looks around expectantly, when nothing happens she continues, "a mockup of an individual is subjected to various pokes and prods, the desired result is that the individual will feel those effects."
The chairman looks fearful and tells one of his board members to call security. Before the board member could touch the comm. Ssjbookgirl threw her Sai at it and said, "All lines are currently down."
SsjWolverine said, "Your doing it again. Stop. What did we talk about? "You are responsible for creating a site that features high censorship, come on this is America not a communist community! You find a fic you don't like you delete in automatically. You obliterated all the MST's, you are trying to block out all the lemons and now I here you are going to annihilate all yaoi and Yuri fanfiction, which happen to my sisters and my favorites.
"More then that I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. You continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you Mr. Burton. Last year, you cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids." "In the bed you and your wife share, no less." Said Ssjbookgirl giving him a thumbs up. SsjWolverine started up again, "Mr. Newmen. You got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party an then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out , just so you could break up with her guilt free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed her self three months latter. "Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Wary compassionate Mr. Brace. "Mr. Ray put his mother in a third rate nursing home and used the profits from the sail of her home to buy an Oriental rug for himself. Heavens." Ssjbookgirl was putting in a Lickon Park cd and turned it in to the song 'Crawling'. "Mr. Barker flew th Thailand on the company account to have sex with an 11-year old boy. "Mr. Holtemar used to work for Disney and was fired for oking the production of Mickey dolls form materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe because it was-survey says.less costly." He turned to the only women on the board and said, "You on the other hand are an innocent. You lead a good life." He gives her a thumbs up as he says, "Good for you." Then he turned to the chairman. While Ssjbookgirl was dancing to 'Crawling' in the back round. "But, you, Mr. Whitland," SsjWolverine continues where he left off, "you have more skeletons in your closet then this assembled party. I can not even mention them aloud." SsjWolverine whispers' in his ear. When he finishes Ssjbookgirl says, "You're his father, you sick fuck!" Mr. Whithland starts crying. After coagulating eachother SsjWolvering leaves the room. "Well, alone at last. With the exception of Miss. Pryce here there isn't a decent human being amongst you. Not one. Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has any thing left to fear any more. You rest comfortable in seats of inscrutable power making up for all of your mistakes by censoring all that gratuitous fics. Lives shrouded in secrecy, even from one an other, but not from us." Ssjbookgirl started to walk out but stopped and turned, "Oh, forgot my little voodoo doll. Man, it really looks just like you, doesn't it? Look, if I believed enough in this, I wonder." she started making a sort of humming sound and waving her had over the onion voodoo doll. Her hand moving faster each time, the chairman started to look scared. She moved her hand faster and slammed her hand down as she screamed. Startling all the board members. Nothing happened and she said, "Come on I didn't believe in voodoo." And walked out muttering to her self, "voodoo," the bored tried to under stand wheat that was all about, that is until Ssjbookgirl walked in holding a vary long, vary sharp katana and said, "But I do believe in this," she started chopping off heads and saying, "Don't run! Don't run! Fakes! Fakes! All of you fakes! In the bed you and your wife share non the less." Meanwhile SsjWolverine sat on the couch reading a MST he printed before they were all deleted. "'But I do believe in this.' What dose that mean" Ssjbookgirl says, "and one to grow on." She gets the only girl on the board up and they are covered in gore, then asks her if she wants a mint because she pulled out a box of Altoids, "Altoid? Go on its ok you've done nothing wrong. These guys were fakes. You're a pure soul. But you didn't say 'God bless you' when I sneezed." The girl screamed as Ssjbookgirl raised her katana, but before she could so any thing SsjWolverine called, "Bookgirl!" She told the woman, " Your getting off light." SsjWolverine called her name again. She said, "I know I'm coming." She walked out saying, "You're so lucky." Ssjbookgirl walked out and SsjWolverine takes a peek in side, "You could have saved some for me." Ssjbookgirl looked sheepish and says, "I was, but I got carried away." Then SsjWolverine says, "You know what? The hell with it, lets go home." Then they walked out singing, "Who's house? Runs house. I said who's house, runs house, who's house, say what? Runs house, say what? Marten, Marten, how ya'll been, Marten."
THE END