I'm terribly sorry it took so long to update this story. I had a serious case of writer's block and after that Real Life came between me and the computer. So please enjoy the new part. - Delilah
Yavin 4 - 7 years later
Pain.
He knew nothing but pain. Pain filled his mind. Pain absorbed his thoughts and killed his hope. Pain was everywhere. Pain was the one special emotion he allowed himself to feel in this moment of failure. And a failure it was in his eyes.
He survived. He, who didn't deserve to be called a Human, was the only one alive after the attack. He who killed thousands with a flick of his hand. He, who fought with an obsession bordering on madness, didn't want to be alive. If it could be called that way in his case.
He didn't know. He didn't dare to think about it. He didn't consider himself trustworthy enough to think about it. His Master might be able to steal the knowledge out of his mind. If he believed himself a Human, a being with a heart, and not the mighty warrior, the cold monster all expected him to be, his plans would be in jeopardy. His son would be in grave danger.
His son. He hadn't allowed himself to remember the boy for nearly 18 years. There was too much danger to endanger his child with his memories. But now he could nothing do but think about his boy, the child of his beautiful wife. Her last present for him. Here, surrounded by metal and circuits, flouting in the emptiness that is space, his mind broke the bonds of will and wandered back in time.
He remembered her smile, how it warmed his day and made him believe in justice. His beautiful queen made him feel love, an emotion deemed impossible to feel for those called Fallen by the Jedi. And Fallen he was. Fallen to Darkness, succumbed to evil. They gave him many names but one hurt the most. More machine than man. His old teacher told that his wife. He is no longer the man you knew. He is now nothing but a monster, a slave to the Emperor.
He remembered her tears. Nearly a year after the fatal accident which doomed him to this black prison the doctors call life support she came back to him. She came back to the monster, not the man. She returned to his side, not Anakin's. She loved him the same, as if he hadn't changed, as if he was the same as before and wasn't dependent on artificial organs.
He knew true bliss the following year. True happiness in the arms of a queen. His queen, always his, for all eternity. It should have been for ever, but it was for naught. It wasn't enough time. Not enough time to cherish his angel before she was stolen from his life, before she died at the hands of a friend.
The twins were two months old when it happened. Under the pretence of needing to talk to his wife, his old teacher was allowed into her rooms. He came to late to rescue his angel and daughter. He came too late to stop his old friend from murdering his loved ones. He came too late to stop Obi-Wan fulfilling the Jedi Council's order.
There wasn't enough left of his queen for a traditional burial. There wasn't enough left of her to say Good Bye. His daughter's body he found three days later. Mutilated and destroyed beyond recognition the only way to recognize the little girl as his child was genetic proof.
His son he was able to rescue from death. The Jedi, in a cowardly attempt to finish it cleanly, had thrown the little boy into the fireplace in his queen's bedroom. Little Luke would bear the marks of fire for the rest of his life, for the doctors were able to heal his face and arms but couldn't do a think about the baby's back and legs.
He gave his son to family on Tatooine in a hope to protect the little one from the Jedi. He gave the boy away to forget him.
That day the Purges began. That day Darth Vader was born a second time. From the ashes of his angel's death he came. He came like the Angel of Death he was and avenged his family's murder. That day the galaxy knew fear.
That day the galaxy knew pain...
He awoke in a hospital room. Can't even manage to die properly. The memories burned his senses. He was afraid. Afraid that his Master knew. Afraid that killing Obi-Wan on the now lost Death Star was not enough to protect his son. Afraid that he destroyed the last of his angel's memory.