AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you enjoy this chapter, it should be interesting! A new thing to add to my little disclaimer: I do not own the Kalahari, nor am I affiliated with it in any way. Now to explain a couple things: The Kalahari is a very large hotel/ resort/ waterpark/ restuarant/ anything else, and is an actual place in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin, USA. I will try to describe some things in the story, things not explained in the story: The Zulu Grille is a big snack area that you pay for food at. The Lazy River is a long river that has water in it from 1.5 to 3 feet deep, where you float on innertubes. The Mud Hut is a big bar next to/on higher ground, by the wave pool. The Public Service Announcement bit is for old times sake (lol David).
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Rey Mysterio and Jade, followed closely by Jeff Hardy and Kaley, walked into the main lobby at the Kalahari Resort and Waterpark. Behind the couples, both the RAW and Smackdown! superstars trailed along, including the divas. They had to be literally dragged out to the parking lot to drive up north to the Kalahari at six in the morning. The night before they had managed to get the voodoo doll away from Victoria without further damage to anyone, or anything, although they had found a whole set of the vicious dolls, which had resembled nearly every woman Victoria had ever known.
One by one, everyone checked in at the front desk and got waterpark access bracelets. Then they headed to their rooms to prepare for some major swimming.
"Which swimming suit should I wear, Oscar?" Jade asked, modeling a blue bikini for Rey Rey.
"Whichever one you want to. They all look good to me." Rey replied, flipping through channels on the tv while waiting for her to finish. He had already had his swimming trunks on.
In Kaley and Jeff's room, almost the same discussion was taking place.
"Come on Kaley, stop worrying about your hair, the chlorine is going to fuck it up anyway!" Jeff said from the king size bed he was lying on, also flipping through channels.
"Fine, fine. Let's go Jeffy." Kaley said, going out the door just as Rey and Jade were leaving their room, which was the next door over. All of the rooms reserved for WWE superstars, royalty, and staff were multi-room suites.
"Good god, this is a long freaking walk!" Jade said, continuing to walk down the long hallway that was decorated with all assortments of African artifacts.
"I know! Let's race!" Rey suggested.
"In these? I can't run in flip-flops!" Kaley exclaimed.
"So take them off and run barefoot! It won't kill you." Jade responded.
"Ok, shoes off now? On your mark, get set, go!" Jeff shouted and they all took off.
They raced down the length of the hall and through the lobby, past Ivory Coast (a bar in the corner of the lobby), and down to the entrance of the indoor waterpark. Right next to the entrance is a snackbar and Ingraffias restaurant.
Jeff skidded to a stop.
"Woah! That's sweet!" He exclaimed, and some invisible force brought him into the restaurant. Right in the center of the room is a firplace-type-thing filled with water and gas jets that have fire atop them.
"Ooooooh... Fire..." Jeff said with a glazed look on his face. He was so into seeing the flames that he bumped into Kane who was already staring at them.
"Watch where you're going!" Kane growled from under his mask.
"Oops, sorry dude. This is just really-"
At that precise moment, Kaley came up behind him and tackled him.
"Come on! Rey won the race and Jade got second. We wanna go swimming now!" Kaley said, kissing Jeff as she helped him off his ass.
They started walking towards the entrance then split off, men into the men's locker/ changing/ bathe room and the women into their own area.
Once inside the waterpark, they all stared with wonder at the rides, wave pool, hot tubs, and everything else in there. Except for the fact that there were a lot of people in there and all of the other superstars were in their swimming suits, beating the crap out of each and every lifeguard. The divas were taking it easy on the better looking lifeguards, but otherwise were unbiased.
Very quickly, all of the lifeguards were running for their lives. Scott Steiner went past muttering something about steroids and the fitness room.
"Good luck, buddy!" Jeff yelled after him.
"Let's go!" Kaley said excitedly, headin towards the wave pool.
Jade and Rey had already jumped in the wave pool and grabbed a double innertube. Just then an announcement came over the P.A. system.
"Attention citizens of the waterpark, this is a Public Service Announcement, brought to you by me, The Hurricane. We, the people who shall remain unnamed ~voice of Jericho is heard: "You stupid ass clown! You already told them who you are!"~ Ahem. Anyways, we have taken over this Resort and we are closing it to the public. Please leave at this moment! Everyone out! Bye bye! Cya! Take all your stuff and go. Thank you, citizens, this has been a Public Service Announcement.
Jade and Rey walk up to Jeff and Kaley.
"Does that mean us, too?" Rey asks.
"I don't think so." Kaley said, plopping down in a chair.
Soon everyone was cleared out of that place except the WWE superstars.
"Ok, Victoria, I'm going to need you to come with me. Yes, you can bring your spiders." Kaley said, coaxing Victoria into the women's locker/ bathe room.
"You can't make me go in there! I can't go! I won't go! I refuse, you stupid little brat!" Jazz shrieked at Jade.
Jade had Jazz by the hair and was literally dragging her towards the lifeguard station, a secluded room that had a door with a lock on it. Perfectly ideal for getting rid of unwanted half-humans.
"I don't care what you think about me, you stupid bitch!" Jade replied, twisting Jazz's hair to cause more pain.
They then reached the lifeguard station, which was no more than a small closet. Jazz let out a final yell as Jade slammed the door and left her to the darkness.
Jade dusted off her hands and went over to where Kaley and Jeff were standing.
"Where did Rey go?" asked Kaley.
"Actually, I don't know where he went. He said something about raiding the Zulu Grille for Doritos and Dippin Dots," Jade replied laughing, "And what is going on with Big Show and A-Train, exactly?"
"Oh, no one wants either of them around, so Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Kane, and Trips are attempting to trap them in the innertube storage closet for four days, until we leave for Green Bay, where Wrestlemania is going to be, now. It's quite interesting to watch, really. Kind of like the old 'How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb', " Kaley said, then squeaked when Jeff pinched her, "Ow!" She cried.
As if to prove Kaley's point, the ground started to shake and Big Show, next to A-Train, went thundering past followed by their pursuers.
Austin was shouting, "You stupid sum bitches! Get in the damn storage closet!" Which startled Triple H, making him fall to the ground and crack his head open. He was bleeding so much that he was near death, so Ric Flair appeared magically and took him to his room to watch him die a slow and painful death. Stephanie was seen running after the duo.
"Oh wow, that was odd... Anyways, I thought Wrestlemania was going to be in New York this year because of the twenty year dealie-bobber?" Jade asked, then screamed in surprise. Rey had come up behind her and thrown a bag of Doritos mixed with Skittles over her head, then darted in front of her to catch them.
"Aww... isnt that just the cutest thing in the world, Jeffy? He's showig off for Jadey," Kaley said, whispering to Jeff, then rasied her voice to address Jade, "Yeah, it is kinda weird that Vince would just change it from New York to a place like Green Bay, just like that. But it's kind of cool because it's so close to our home town!"
"¿De donde es?" Rey asked.
"Donde esta Madison." Kaley and Jade said simultaneously.
"Huh?" said Jeff.
"I asked where they were from and they said they were from Madison." Rey explained rapidly.
"Oh! Why didn't you tell me you were from Madison? We were just there last night!" Jeff exclaimed.
"You never asked." Kaley said cheekily.
"Well, anyway, why don't we go do something fun?" Rey asked.
"Yeah! We should raid the Mud Hut! It's a really cool bar, up there!" Jeff said pointing, "Come on!" He shouted enthusiastically as he dragged Kaley away.
"Ok, now that they are gone, how about we go on the lazy river?" Rey suggested.
"Yeah, we should hold races between the other superstars!" Jade said, grinning.
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Holy crapola! That is a very long chapter. Wrote it on the way up north and back and I hope you enjoyed it!
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Rey Mysterio and Jade, followed closely by Jeff Hardy and Kaley, walked into the main lobby at the Kalahari Resort and Waterpark. Behind the couples, both the RAW and Smackdown! superstars trailed along, including the divas. They had to be literally dragged out to the parking lot to drive up north to the Kalahari at six in the morning. The night before they had managed to get the voodoo doll away from Victoria without further damage to anyone, or anything, although they had found a whole set of the vicious dolls, which had resembled nearly every woman Victoria had ever known.
One by one, everyone checked in at the front desk and got waterpark access bracelets. Then they headed to their rooms to prepare for some major swimming.
"Which swimming suit should I wear, Oscar?" Jade asked, modeling a blue bikini for Rey Rey.
"Whichever one you want to. They all look good to me." Rey replied, flipping through channels on the tv while waiting for her to finish. He had already had his swimming trunks on.
In Kaley and Jeff's room, almost the same discussion was taking place.
"Come on Kaley, stop worrying about your hair, the chlorine is going to fuck it up anyway!" Jeff said from the king size bed he was lying on, also flipping through channels.
"Fine, fine. Let's go Jeffy." Kaley said, going out the door just as Rey and Jade were leaving their room, which was the next door over. All of the rooms reserved for WWE superstars, royalty, and staff were multi-room suites.
"Good god, this is a long freaking walk!" Jade said, continuing to walk down the long hallway that was decorated with all assortments of African artifacts.
"I know! Let's race!" Rey suggested.
"In these? I can't run in flip-flops!" Kaley exclaimed.
"So take them off and run barefoot! It won't kill you." Jade responded.
"Ok, shoes off now? On your mark, get set, go!" Jeff shouted and they all took off.
They raced down the length of the hall and through the lobby, past Ivory Coast (a bar in the corner of the lobby), and down to the entrance of the indoor waterpark. Right next to the entrance is a snackbar and Ingraffias restaurant.
Jeff skidded to a stop.
"Woah! That's sweet!" He exclaimed, and some invisible force brought him into the restaurant. Right in the center of the room is a firplace-type-thing filled with water and gas jets that have fire atop them.
"Ooooooh... Fire..." Jeff said with a glazed look on his face. He was so into seeing the flames that he bumped into Kane who was already staring at them.
"Watch where you're going!" Kane growled from under his mask.
"Oops, sorry dude. This is just really-"
At that precise moment, Kaley came up behind him and tackled him.
"Come on! Rey won the race and Jade got second. We wanna go swimming now!" Kaley said, kissing Jeff as she helped him off his ass.
They started walking towards the entrance then split off, men into the men's locker/ changing/ bathe room and the women into their own area.
Once inside the waterpark, they all stared with wonder at the rides, wave pool, hot tubs, and everything else in there. Except for the fact that there were a lot of people in there and all of the other superstars were in their swimming suits, beating the crap out of each and every lifeguard. The divas were taking it easy on the better looking lifeguards, but otherwise were unbiased.
Very quickly, all of the lifeguards were running for their lives. Scott Steiner went past muttering something about steroids and the fitness room.
"Good luck, buddy!" Jeff yelled after him.
"Let's go!" Kaley said excitedly, headin towards the wave pool.
Jade and Rey had already jumped in the wave pool and grabbed a double innertube. Just then an announcement came over the P.A. system.
"Attention citizens of the waterpark, this is a Public Service Announcement, brought to you by me, The Hurricane. We, the people who shall remain unnamed ~voice of Jericho is heard: "You stupid ass clown! You already told them who you are!"~ Ahem. Anyways, we have taken over this Resort and we are closing it to the public. Please leave at this moment! Everyone out! Bye bye! Cya! Take all your stuff and go. Thank you, citizens, this has been a Public Service Announcement.
Jade and Rey walk up to Jeff and Kaley.
"Does that mean us, too?" Rey asks.
"I don't think so." Kaley said, plopping down in a chair.
Soon everyone was cleared out of that place except the WWE superstars.
"Ok, Victoria, I'm going to need you to come with me. Yes, you can bring your spiders." Kaley said, coaxing Victoria into the women's locker/ bathe room.
"You can't make me go in there! I can't go! I won't go! I refuse, you stupid little brat!" Jazz shrieked at Jade.
Jade had Jazz by the hair and was literally dragging her towards the lifeguard station, a secluded room that had a door with a lock on it. Perfectly ideal for getting rid of unwanted half-humans.
"I don't care what you think about me, you stupid bitch!" Jade replied, twisting Jazz's hair to cause more pain.
They then reached the lifeguard station, which was no more than a small closet. Jazz let out a final yell as Jade slammed the door and left her to the darkness.
Jade dusted off her hands and went over to where Kaley and Jeff were standing.
"Where did Rey go?" asked Kaley.
"Actually, I don't know where he went. He said something about raiding the Zulu Grille for Doritos and Dippin Dots," Jade replied laughing, "And what is going on with Big Show and A-Train, exactly?"
"Oh, no one wants either of them around, so Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Kane, and Trips are attempting to trap them in the innertube storage closet for four days, until we leave for Green Bay, where Wrestlemania is going to be, now. It's quite interesting to watch, really. Kind of like the old 'How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb', " Kaley said, then squeaked when Jeff pinched her, "Ow!" She cried.
As if to prove Kaley's point, the ground started to shake and Big Show, next to A-Train, went thundering past followed by their pursuers.
Austin was shouting, "You stupid sum bitches! Get in the damn storage closet!" Which startled Triple H, making him fall to the ground and crack his head open. He was bleeding so much that he was near death, so Ric Flair appeared magically and took him to his room to watch him die a slow and painful death. Stephanie was seen running after the duo.
"Oh wow, that was odd... Anyways, I thought Wrestlemania was going to be in New York this year because of the twenty year dealie-bobber?" Jade asked, then screamed in surprise. Rey had come up behind her and thrown a bag of Doritos mixed with Skittles over her head, then darted in front of her to catch them.
"Aww... isnt that just the cutest thing in the world, Jeffy? He's showig off for Jadey," Kaley said, whispering to Jeff, then rasied her voice to address Jade, "Yeah, it is kinda weird that Vince would just change it from New York to a place like Green Bay, just like that. But it's kind of cool because it's so close to our home town!"
"¿De donde es?" Rey asked.
"Donde esta Madison." Kaley and Jade said simultaneously.
"Huh?" said Jeff.
"I asked where they were from and they said they were from Madison." Rey explained rapidly.
"Oh! Why didn't you tell me you were from Madison? We were just there last night!" Jeff exclaimed.
"You never asked." Kaley said cheekily.
"Well, anyway, why don't we go do something fun?" Rey asked.
"Yeah! We should raid the Mud Hut! It's a really cool bar, up there!" Jeff said pointing, "Come on!" He shouted enthusiastically as he dragged Kaley away.
"Ok, now that they are gone, how about we go on the lazy river?" Rey suggested.
"Yeah, we should hold races between the other superstars!" Jade said, grinning.
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Holy crapola! That is a very long chapter. Wrote it on the way up north and back and I hope you enjoyed it!