Wow!! Would you look at that? I haven't updated this thing in forever! So now, here's the next chapter (P.S.- I don't own McFlurries, McDonalds, Snickers, M&Ms, or cows, for that matter...I've never bought a cow. I should do that someday…) All right well anyway, here's the story:
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"You know, that was ingenious. I mean, stealing those suits and making Rocky piss his pants." Jericho said.
"Actually… it was really not that funny. But I do wonder where Kurt went... he looked like he was going to shit his pants at any moment-" Bitchy said, but was cut off.
A form ran past, weaving in circles around the wrestlers gathered. The shoulders of the form were hunched and there was a blanket wrapped around the entire thing's body, so only a pair of gray/green eyes poked out between the folds.
"Holy shit! It's the Hurricane! No! Get him away from the Rock!" The Rock said in partial truth, as the Hurricane was still running away from the bizarre creatures for all they knew.
"Who in the Hell are you?" Jericho asked.
"Why should I tell you?" A muffled voice asked from within the blanket.
"Kurt, is that you? Why are you hiding?" Stephanie asked; she would know that form, if anyone.
"Aw, no-" Kurt started, but before he could finish, Stephanie had pulled away the shroud.
"Oh THE HORROR! No! My eyes are burning! Get me out of here! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Rocky shouted at the top of his lungs and began running around like a chicken with his head chopped off.
"Kurt, I'm sure there's a very good reason for why you aren't WEARING ANY CLOTHES...Now, what is it?" Stephanie demanded hysterically, then began backing up.
"Oohhh! Nice ass!" Kaley said, staring blatantly.
"Hey!" Jeff said indignantly and started to pout.
"Oh, Jeff, you have a great ass, too. Don't worry." Kaley said grinning.
"Ahem! Well, remember how I ran off? I needed to change my clothes." Kurt explained, pulling the shrouding back around himself.
"Did you get LOST?" Jade asked.
"No, I just didn't have any clothes left." Kurt said whimpering.
"And the point of you running out here was...?" Steph questioned.
"I just wanted to go shopping with you guys!" Kurt said, tearing up.
"Without clothes?" Jade said incredulously.
"Yeah, That's why I'm wearing this blanket!" Kurt said with a smile and looking hopefully towards Stephanie.
"Ok, but let's go because it's already past noon. Kurt, if you get arrested, I swear to God I am NOT bailing you out!" Steph said, leading the group out of the door.
~*~ Downtown Wisconsin Dells ~*~
"Everybody out! Now!" Barked Bitchy.
"What if some people are stuck in their seats?" Torrie Wilson asked looking at Rikishi.
"Who cares! They still have to get off the damn bus!" The Bitch yelled from outside on the parking lot pavement.
"But... he literally CAN'T!" Torrie shouted back, then attempted to pull the Kish out of the seat.
Torrie fell backwards with a screech onto a passing Jeff Hardy who was attempting to exit the bus at that time.
"Did you seriously think you could get him out of there?" Kaley asked as both she and Jeff began tugging at Mr.Phat.
Finally Rikishi was free and all of the superstars began trooping down the sidewalk. Jeff mumbled something about "that's exactly why mothers shouldn't spoil their kids...there's not always someone there to pull them out!"
~*~
"So you think we can put Hell back together?" Kane asked.
"Well, in theory, I should be able to use my demonic powers to put it back together...SO we could try that..." Satan explained unenthusiastically.
"Ok, sounds good enough to me! Let's try it!" 'Taker shouted happily.
Satan spins around in a circle and stops, the Brothers of Destruction staring at him blankly.
"What in the Blue Hell was the point of that?" Kane asked looking annoyed.
"Slogan infringement!" The Rock shouted, popping up out of nowhere then just as quickly disappeared.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight... well, anyway, what was the point of that stupid twirling?" Kane asked again.
"Shush! Damn it, I'm not finished yet!" Satan said, a pained expression on his face.
"Damn! Watch where you are flinging those damn flame balls!" Undertaker yelled at Satan as he began whirling in circles again, this time with flames shooting out of the tips of his fingers, each flame planting itself into the ground and beginning to grow rapidly into bushes of fire.
Jeff pops out of thin air.
"Woah...Fire...Cool...!" he says, staring at the continuously growing flame-bushes and moving slowly towards the nearest one.
Kaley, of course, is right on his tail.
"Jeff, I told you to stay away from-"
"Get out of Hell!" Satan snarled at the pair.
"Usually people to tell me to GO to Hell…Anyways, this is Hell? This is pretty lame..." Kaley said, glancing at the flaming bushes, "Let's go, Jeffy. I want to actually go shopping!"
And with that, both disappeared.
"So...Exactly what is the point of these bushes?" Kane asked eyeing them curiously.
"The bushes will continue to grow, they will form walls... and when they grow tall enough, they'll grow across the invisible barrier far above us to form Hell's new ceiling." Satan huffed impatiently.
"Oh. That makes sense." Kane responded simply.
~*~
"Dude, we're all walking around like a mob? What if we scare some little kiddies?" RVD asked from where he was walking down the middle of the street, proving his thoughts on looking like a mob; there wasn't enough space on the sidewalk therefore many of the wrestlers were spilling out onto the road.
"What?!" Stephanie shouted from the safety of the sidewalk.
"Stop stealing my damn line!" Stone Cold shouted.
"I was asking if we were going to split up into smaller groups!" Shouted RVD over the beeping of car horns behind him, "So some of us don't get killed and/or run over!"
"Oh! Sure, that's a great idea!" Steph shouted.
Immediately, groups of twos, threes, and fours ran off, leaving Steph, Stone Cold and the loser named Eric Bischoff.
"Hey, why didn't you run off somewhere with HHH? Oh yeah, because he's DEAD! Ahahahahaha!" Bitchy screamed at Stephanie out of nowhere.
"Shut up!" She yelled, then punched him out. "Do you think we should drag him behind us?" She asked, turning to Austin.
"Nah, just leave him here and if we come back this was we can see if he's still there."
"Works for me!" Steph said happily.
~*~
"Scott, let's go in this store." Stacy said urgently.
"Ummm…ok..." Scott said hesitantly; Barbies didn't exactly appeal to him.
Stacy shut the door behind him and hurried to the nearest aisle.
"Scott, I think we're being followed..." Stacy whispered.
"Er, by who?" Steiner asked stupidly.
"Well, who do you think would follow us? That loser, Test!" Stacy said, nearly shouting at him.
"Ok...why does it matter so much? He's too stupid to actually do anything to us!" Scott said, "Now can we PLEASE get out of here?"
~*~
"So, what store do you want to start it?" Rey asked candidly.
"I dunno," Jade said, shielding her eyes from the sun and reading the signs above the doors of the shops on their side of the street. Her eyes wandered across the street and-
"HOLY SHIT! What in the fucking Hell?" Jade shrieked uncharacteristically and pointed down the street, but it was unnecessary because the creatures were coming straight at them.
"Where the fuck did those damned cows come from?" Rey shouted.
"I dunno, but get in here before you get trampled!" Jade shouted, holding open the door of a McDonalds that they had just happened to be walking past.
Surprisingly, Rey and Jade weren't the only ones who had come into the fast food restaurant for shelter from the rampaging cows. On the TV over the seating area, there was a special alert similar to a tornado alert flashing across the screen.
"This is a Public Service Announcement. Attention residents, there seems to be an immensely large herd of cows overtaking the area. It is asked that you stay away from windows and do not attempt to go outside to photograph this event. Cows are extremely hazardous when provoked and it is unnecessary to do so."
In response, some people where shouting back to the TV that you would have to be stupid to do go outside during a stampede and others were throwing assorted items at the TV.
Jamie Noble was, one-by-one, smuggling the donation boxes which were loosely attached to the counters and handing them to Nidia, who, in turn, was placing them just outside the back door of the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Jeff and Kaley were standing at the counter debating with one of the cashiers.
"But I still don't see why there aren't Skittle McFlurries!" Jeff said.
"Sir, I've told you this already. We don't HAVE mini-Skittles. Normal-sized Skittles would be too big for the malt mixer."
"But you have almost every other candy flavor Butterfinger, M&Ms, Snickers..." Jeff replied, counting on his hands.
"Yes, but no one has invented mini-Skittles..."
"Look, can I just try it?" Jeff asked, digging in his pocket and pulling out a large bag of Skittles, "Chop them up or something?"
"Well, I guess you could try it, since I recognize you from T.V."
"I don't even believe that." Jade said with a smile as Jeff walked happily behind the counter towards the McFlurry machine on the opposite wall.
"Yeah, it's too bad we don't have any Doritos or you know I'd sure as Hell be back there with Jeff! What's better than ice cream and Doritos?" Rey said, but before Jade could answer, Steph caught Jamie sneaking around with the donation boxes.
"Jamie, you just inherited over 800k and you're back to stealing from the poor already?" Stephanie asked from the corner.
"What, ma'am? I don't have any idea what you are talking about!" Jamie replied, placing the box he was holding at the moment behind his back and trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.
"Ah, man, you think I'm stupid?" Quick as a cat, Steph had crossed the room and was now in his face. "You're supposed to be at Applebee's! Now get out!" Having said that, Steph opened the door and threw both Jamie and Nidia into the sea of cows in the street where they were carried off.
Almost as soon as Steph sat back down in her seat, the door burst open and in stepped a beat-up looking Chris Benoit.
"What happened to you?" Jeff asked as he took his first spoonful of the self-made Skittle McFlurry.
"I was trying to stop Rhyno from running with the cows, but it didn't work so well. So he's still running around chasing cows. He's not the only one. I saw Victoria dumping boxes of spiders onto the backs of passing cows, and when she ran out of spiders, she jumped on the back of the closest cow ... it was quite frightening." Benoit said, looking at Jeff like he was going to jump on him.
"Er... Chris, do you want something?" Jeff asked cautiously.
"Give me something to drink! I'm dying of thirst!" Chris returned.
"Oh, right..." Jeff said as Kaley grabbed a coke off of the counter and handed it to the Rabid Wolverine.
~*~Three Hours Later~*~
"God damn it, it's 5:00 and those damned cows are still going past! I've heard the song, 'The Farmer in the Dells,' but this is insane! I don't see any farmers around here, just stupid fucking cows!" Stephanie burst out.
"I'm a farmer! And here's my fan fiction sheep!" Said a guy with overalls on, shaggy, dirty blonde hair and a sheep using a laptop next to him.
"Fine, I've seen a damned farmer, too!" Steph shrieked at the same time Jade screamed and fell over.
"Um, Jade...wanna get up now?" Rey asked.
"Kaley...Where's Kaley..? Oh there you are. Tell me I did NOT just see Tony!"
"Er, you did... I punched him out for you, though." Kaley replied.
"Yeah, I jumped him, too!" Jeff said, grinning so you could see his multi-color tongue.
"Steph, if the cows ever go away, will we get to go shopping some more?" Asked the voice from within the blanket-mass next to her in the booth.
"No, we have to go back to the hotel as soon as they go away, it's too late to shop more." Steph responded.
"B-but... I need clothes!" Kurt exclaimed, sitting bolt upright, the blanket nearly falling off of him.
"Sorry Kurty, you'll just have to do some laundry back at the hotel. And besides, it's almost your bedtime! Here, have some milk." Steph said consolingly.
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That's it! I don't own Barbies (who would want to?). The Public Service Announcement was made up by a good friend of mine…I'll copyright it for him! Woohoo! Yay David! I'm ok now. Tony is a scary student teacher I had who looks just like I described him above..
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"You know, that was ingenious. I mean, stealing those suits and making Rocky piss his pants." Jericho said.
"Actually… it was really not that funny. But I do wonder where Kurt went... he looked like he was going to shit his pants at any moment-" Bitchy said, but was cut off.
A form ran past, weaving in circles around the wrestlers gathered. The shoulders of the form were hunched and there was a blanket wrapped around the entire thing's body, so only a pair of gray/green eyes poked out between the folds.
"Holy shit! It's the Hurricane! No! Get him away from the Rock!" The Rock said in partial truth, as the Hurricane was still running away from the bizarre creatures for all they knew.
"Who in the Hell are you?" Jericho asked.
"Why should I tell you?" A muffled voice asked from within the blanket.
"Kurt, is that you? Why are you hiding?" Stephanie asked; she would know that form, if anyone.
"Aw, no-" Kurt started, but before he could finish, Stephanie had pulled away the shroud.
"Oh THE HORROR! No! My eyes are burning! Get me out of here! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Rocky shouted at the top of his lungs and began running around like a chicken with his head chopped off.
"Kurt, I'm sure there's a very good reason for why you aren't WEARING ANY CLOTHES...Now, what is it?" Stephanie demanded hysterically, then began backing up.
"Oohhh! Nice ass!" Kaley said, staring blatantly.
"Hey!" Jeff said indignantly and started to pout.
"Oh, Jeff, you have a great ass, too. Don't worry." Kaley said grinning.
"Ahem! Well, remember how I ran off? I needed to change my clothes." Kurt explained, pulling the shrouding back around himself.
"Did you get LOST?" Jade asked.
"No, I just didn't have any clothes left." Kurt said whimpering.
"And the point of you running out here was...?" Steph questioned.
"I just wanted to go shopping with you guys!" Kurt said, tearing up.
"Without clothes?" Jade said incredulously.
"Yeah, That's why I'm wearing this blanket!" Kurt said with a smile and looking hopefully towards Stephanie.
"Ok, but let's go because it's already past noon. Kurt, if you get arrested, I swear to God I am NOT bailing you out!" Steph said, leading the group out of the door.
~*~ Downtown Wisconsin Dells ~*~
"Everybody out! Now!" Barked Bitchy.
"What if some people are stuck in their seats?" Torrie Wilson asked looking at Rikishi.
"Who cares! They still have to get off the damn bus!" The Bitch yelled from outside on the parking lot pavement.
"But... he literally CAN'T!" Torrie shouted back, then attempted to pull the Kish out of the seat.
Torrie fell backwards with a screech onto a passing Jeff Hardy who was attempting to exit the bus at that time.
"Did you seriously think you could get him out of there?" Kaley asked as both she and Jeff began tugging at Mr.Phat.
Finally Rikishi was free and all of the superstars began trooping down the sidewalk. Jeff mumbled something about "that's exactly why mothers shouldn't spoil their kids...there's not always someone there to pull them out!"
~*~
"So you think we can put Hell back together?" Kane asked.
"Well, in theory, I should be able to use my demonic powers to put it back together...SO we could try that..." Satan explained unenthusiastically.
"Ok, sounds good enough to me! Let's try it!" 'Taker shouted happily.
Satan spins around in a circle and stops, the Brothers of Destruction staring at him blankly.
"What in the Blue Hell was the point of that?" Kane asked looking annoyed.
"Slogan infringement!" The Rock shouted, popping up out of nowhere then just as quickly disappeared.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight... well, anyway, what was the point of that stupid twirling?" Kane asked again.
"Shush! Damn it, I'm not finished yet!" Satan said, a pained expression on his face.
"Damn! Watch where you are flinging those damn flame balls!" Undertaker yelled at Satan as he began whirling in circles again, this time with flames shooting out of the tips of his fingers, each flame planting itself into the ground and beginning to grow rapidly into bushes of fire.
Jeff pops out of thin air.
"Woah...Fire...Cool...!" he says, staring at the continuously growing flame-bushes and moving slowly towards the nearest one.
Kaley, of course, is right on his tail.
"Jeff, I told you to stay away from-"
"Get out of Hell!" Satan snarled at the pair.
"Usually people to tell me to GO to Hell…Anyways, this is Hell? This is pretty lame..." Kaley said, glancing at the flaming bushes, "Let's go, Jeffy. I want to actually go shopping!"
And with that, both disappeared.
"So...Exactly what is the point of these bushes?" Kane asked eyeing them curiously.
"The bushes will continue to grow, they will form walls... and when they grow tall enough, they'll grow across the invisible barrier far above us to form Hell's new ceiling." Satan huffed impatiently.
"Oh. That makes sense." Kane responded simply.
~*~
"Dude, we're all walking around like a mob? What if we scare some little kiddies?" RVD asked from where he was walking down the middle of the street, proving his thoughts on looking like a mob; there wasn't enough space on the sidewalk therefore many of the wrestlers were spilling out onto the road.
"What?!" Stephanie shouted from the safety of the sidewalk.
"Stop stealing my damn line!" Stone Cold shouted.
"I was asking if we were going to split up into smaller groups!" Shouted RVD over the beeping of car horns behind him, "So some of us don't get killed and/or run over!"
"Oh! Sure, that's a great idea!" Steph shouted.
Immediately, groups of twos, threes, and fours ran off, leaving Steph, Stone Cold and the loser named Eric Bischoff.
"Hey, why didn't you run off somewhere with HHH? Oh yeah, because he's DEAD! Ahahahahaha!" Bitchy screamed at Stephanie out of nowhere.
"Shut up!" She yelled, then punched him out. "Do you think we should drag him behind us?" She asked, turning to Austin.
"Nah, just leave him here and if we come back this was we can see if he's still there."
"Works for me!" Steph said happily.
~*~
"Scott, let's go in this store." Stacy said urgently.
"Ummm…ok..." Scott said hesitantly; Barbies didn't exactly appeal to him.
Stacy shut the door behind him and hurried to the nearest aisle.
"Scott, I think we're being followed..." Stacy whispered.
"Er, by who?" Steiner asked stupidly.
"Well, who do you think would follow us? That loser, Test!" Stacy said, nearly shouting at him.
"Ok...why does it matter so much? He's too stupid to actually do anything to us!" Scott said, "Now can we PLEASE get out of here?"
~*~
"So, what store do you want to start it?" Rey asked candidly.
"I dunno," Jade said, shielding her eyes from the sun and reading the signs above the doors of the shops on their side of the street. Her eyes wandered across the street and-
"HOLY SHIT! What in the fucking Hell?" Jade shrieked uncharacteristically and pointed down the street, but it was unnecessary because the creatures were coming straight at them.
"Where the fuck did those damned cows come from?" Rey shouted.
"I dunno, but get in here before you get trampled!" Jade shouted, holding open the door of a McDonalds that they had just happened to be walking past.
Surprisingly, Rey and Jade weren't the only ones who had come into the fast food restaurant for shelter from the rampaging cows. On the TV over the seating area, there was a special alert similar to a tornado alert flashing across the screen.
"This is a Public Service Announcement. Attention residents, there seems to be an immensely large herd of cows overtaking the area. It is asked that you stay away from windows and do not attempt to go outside to photograph this event. Cows are extremely hazardous when provoked and it is unnecessary to do so."
In response, some people where shouting back to the TV that you would have to be stupid to do go outside during a stampede and others were throwing assorted items at the TV.
Jamie Noble was, one-by-one, smuggling the donation boxes which were loosely attached to the counters and handing them to Nidia, who, in turn, was placing them just outside the back door of the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Jeff and Kaley were standing at the counter debating with one of the cashiers.
"But I still don't see why there aren't Skittle McFlurries!" Jeff said.
"Sir, I've told you this already. We don't HAVE mini-Skittles. Normal-sized Skittles would be too big for the malt mixer."
"But you have almost every other candy flavor Butterfinger, M&Ms, Snickers..." Jeff replied, counting on his hands.
"Yes, but no one has invented mini-Skittles..."
"Look, can I just try it?" Jeff asked, digging in his pocket and pulling out a large bag of Skittles, "Chop them up or something?"
"Well, I guess you could try it, since I recognize you from T.V."
"I don't even believe that." Jade said with a smile as Jeff walked happily behind the counter towards the McFlurry machine on the opposite wall.
"Yeah, it's too bad we don't have any Doritos or you know I'd sure as Hell be back there with Jeff! What's better than ice cream and Doritos?" Rey said, but before Jade could answer, Steph caught Jamie sneaking around with the donation boxes.
"Jamie, you just inherited over 800k and you're back to stealing from the poor already?" Stephanie asked from the corner.
"What, ma'am? I don't have any idea what you are talking about!" Jamie replied, placing the box he was holding at the moment behind his back and trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.
"Ah, man, you think I'm stupid?" Quick as a cat, Steph had crossed the room and was now in his face. "You're supposed to be at Applebee's! Now get out!" Having said that, Steph opened the door and threw both Jamie and Nidia into the sea of cows in the street where they were carried off.
Almost as soon as Steph sat back down in her seat, the door burst open and in stepped a beat-up looking Chris Benoit.
"What happened to you?" Jeff asked as he took his first spoonful of the self-made Skittle McFlurry.
"I was trying to stop Rhyno from running with the cows, but it didn't work so well. So he's still running around chasing cows. He's not the only one. I saw Victoria dumping boxes of spiders onto the backs of passing cows, and when she ran out of spiders, she jumped on the back of the closest cow ... it was quite frightening." Benoit said, looking at Jeff like he was going to jump on him.
"Er... Chris, do you want something?" Jeff asked cautiously.
"Give me something to drink! I'm dying of thirst!" Chris returned.
"Oh, right..." Jeff said as Kaley grabbed a coke off of the counter and handed it to the Rabid Wolverine.
~*~Three Hours Later~*~
"God damn it, it's 5:00 and those damned cows are still going past! I've heard the song, 'The Farmer in the Dells,' but this is insane! I don't see any farmers around here, just stupid fucking cows!" Stephanie burst out.
"I'm a farmer! And here's my fan fiction sheep!" Said a guy with overalls on, shaggy, dirty blonde hair and a sheep using a laptop next to him.
"Fine, I've seen a damned farmer, too!" Steph shrieked at the same time Jade screamed and fell over.
"Um, Jade...wanna get up now?" Rey asked.
"Kaley...Where's Kaley..? Oh there you are. Tell me I did NOT just see Tony!"
"Er, you did... I punched him out for you, though." Kaley replied.
"Yeah, I jumped him, too!" Jeff said, grinning so you could see his multi-color tongue.
"Steph, if the cows ever go away, will we get to go shopping some more?" Asked the voice from within the blanket-mass next to her in the booth.
"No, we have to go back to the hotel as soon as they go away, it's too late to shop more." Steph responded.
"B-but... I need clothes!" Kurt exclaimed, sitting bolt upright, the blanket nearly falling off of him.
"Sorry Kurty, you'll just have to do some laundry back at the hotel. And besides, it's almost your bedtime! Here, have some milk." Steph said consolingly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it! I don't own Barbies (who would want to?). The Public Service Announcement was made up by a good friend of mine…I'll copyright it for him! Woohoo! Yay David! I'm ok now. Tony is a scary student teacher I had who looks just like I described him above..