^__^ ;;; Yah. I know that last chapter was a bit traumatic….please don't hurt me. ;;;; This chapter is going to be a tad stupid. It's like so bad, it's funny, but if you don't like starwars, you don't have to read the dream sequence.
Chapter 26: Feudal Star Wars
Kagome had been wandering through the forest running in the direction she thought camp was in, then started to feel really stupid for getting lost. She knew she was lost because she passed that patch of dry rot on a log several times…she stopped to look around. As she stood where she was, she realized just how tired she was. She hadn't gotten much sleep since the night before Shio was bound inside of the hut. She practically collapsed next to a tree from exhaustion. It was the wrong time and the wrong place to fall asleep, she knew…but she would only rest her eyes for a second..then wake up and try to find the village again….
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Dream sequence! ^_^V* * * * * *
*
**
***
****
***
**
*
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away…
The desert of Tattoine (however you spell it, I ain't no expert!!!) by where they are selling robots. There were a bunch of them lined up with a bunch of lil ewok teddy bears running around. ^ ^ so cute…
Inu Skywalker: *dressed in white futurey clothes walking next to Shio*
Shio: *in regular clothes with his hands behind his head and a bored expression on his face* Star Wars is a nerd fest…
Inu Skywalker: huh?
Shio: Never mind…
(They walk over to the line of robots)
Shio: eww….robots from the sixties…
Inu Skywalker: Yeah *looks equally disgusted* We're not actually supposed to BUY one of these are we???
Ewok: (gibberish)
Inu Skywalker: What??
Ewok: (more gibberish)
Shio: *looks at Inu* What the hell is he saying?
Inu Skywalker: I have no idea.
Ewok: (shouting gibberish)
Shio: *guesses* You're having an orgasm?
Ewok: (shouts gibberish angrily)
Inu Skywalker: *guesses* You're pissed?
Ewok: (shouts gibberish)
Shio: You're girlfriend's having a booty call?
Ewok: (shouts angry gibberish)
Inu Skywalker: You're annoying?
Shio: You're underpaid?
Inu Skywalker: Timmy fell down the well?
Shio: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?
Inu Yasha: Redrum?
Shio: You got a wedgie?
Ewok: *stomps angrily and walks off crying*
Inu Skywalker: …..What's his problem?
Shio: I don't know…
(They start to walk away from the horrible looking robots when all of a sudden they here one of the robots shouting at them)
ShippouD2: Hey!! What about me?!?
(They turn to look at him)
Shio: Whoa, check it out! Meat in a can!
Shippou: *wearing R2D2 costume* take me with u!!
Inu Skywalker: Oh that will look right, being followed by a squealing trash can….
ShippouD2: I don't squeal!
Shio: You can come…we can't go on to the next scene till we let you come…*looking at the script*
Inu Yasha: *blinks at him in confusion then starts to walk away again with Shio, followed by ShippouD2*
ShippouD2: Wait up! Do you realize how my this costume weighs???
Shio: Don't know…
Inu Skywalker: Don't care.
ShippouD2: T_T
*They walk back to Inu Skywalker's home*
Shio: *looking at the script* This thing says this is supposed to be a farm…
Inu Skywalker: *looks around at the desolate surroundings were there is literally zero vegitation* A farm??? This isn't a farm! It's the Sahara desert!!
ShippouD2: I didn't know you even knew what the Sahara desert was Inu Skywaker.
Inu Skywalker: *whaps ShippouD2 on the head*
ShippouD2: T_T Jerk…
Shio: You're uncle is supposed to talk about the harvest…
Inu Yasha: What uncle?! WHAT HARVEST!?! THERE IS NO PLANT LIFE!!! ANYWHERE!!!
Shio: Hey! I'm just reading from the script!
Inu Skywalker: *watches him reading the book* And how did you get that anyway? You can't read that!!
Shio: *unaffected* The author gave it to me.
Inu Skywalker: What makes you so special?
Shio: I'm an OC! ^_^V
Inu Yasha: ……oh….*blink*…..who get's the girl?
Shio: Miroku.
Inu Skywalker: Damn.
Shippou: You get paid more anyway, what are you worrying about! *looks up unhappily at Inu Skywalker*
Inu Skywalker: He'd better not be getting Kagome!!
Shio: No. He doesn't. But we see her later anyway.
Shippou: *suddenly realizes* hey! That reminds me! I have something lodged in my stomach!!
Inu Skywalker: What reminded you of that?
Shippou: *pokes himself till he finds it. He presses a button and a little picture of a woman with black cinnabun shaped hair and a white cape is projected*
Princess Sango: *the projection says* Help me Obiwan Kagome, you're my only hope…
Inu Skywalker: Who's that??
Shio: It's a babe!
ShippouD2: It's not for you to see! It's Obiwan Kagome's! *protective of something that belongs to Kagome*
Shio: *examining the hologram like it's going to do something other then repeat itself over and over again* Does she strip?
Inu Skywalker: Well…I guess we're supposed to go find Obiwan Kagome somewhere…
Obiwan Kagome: *pops up out of no where* HELLO!! ^_^
ShippouD2, Shio, and Inu Skywalker: OO AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Obiwan Kagome: Did someone order a Jedi Master? ^_^
Inu Skywalker: Bitch! You scared us nearly half to death!
Obiwan Kagome: Osuwari!
Inu Skywalker: **WHAM!!**
Obiwan Kagome: That's the power of the force! ^_^V
Shio and Shippou: *claps for her* ^_^
Inu Skywalker: *murmurs something into the desert sand that sounds a lot like the ewok gibberish*
Obiwan Kagome: Oh, btw…I got your sword with me!
Inu Skywalker: *stands up quickly* I get a sword???
Obiwan Kagome: Yep!
Inu Skywalker: Alright! Hand it over!
Obiwan Kagome: Ah, ah, ah! What do we say?
Inu Skywalker: Give it, bitch!!
Obiwan Kagome: Say it or I'll say "IT"!!
Inu Skywalker: Please!!!
Obiwan Kagome: ^_^ okay…*hands him light saber*
Inu Skywalker: *takes it and examines it* that's not a sword! It's a microphone! *suddenly a blade of light shoots out of it freaking everyone out*
ShippouD2: Whoa!
Inu Skywalker: *swings it around a little and looks at it again smiling* oh yeah…. *nods happily* tetsusaiga lightsaber!
Obiwan Kagome: Oh brother. ;;;;
Inu Skywalker: Oh this rocks!
Shio: Alright, let's go to the next scene already. *looks in the script* Yeah, we gotta go get a space ship.
Shippou: Where do we get one of those?
Shio: No idea. *folds script under his arm and walks off* Be right back.
Obiwan Kagome: Where are you going?
Shio: *devious smirk* ask yourself if you really wanna know that answer to that –
Obiwan Kagome: Alright, fine! Leave! ;;;
Shio: ^_^ *walks off grinning*
Inu Skywalker: *vein pop of forehead* Boner….
(They go to the town wherever it is to get a space ship, where else would they be going)
ShippouD2: Hey, aren't we supposed to have C3PO with us?
Shio: C3PO is gay; you might as well have Jakotsu playing him….
Obiwan Kagome: That's not very nice…
Inu Skywalker: Yeah? Well Jakotsu's not very nice either…freakn' queer…
Obiwan Kagome: Well there goes the homosexual part of the readers…
(They walk over to the guy who is standing in front of his space ship polishing a laser gun)
Miroku Solo: *accidently fires gun while polishing it and hits an ewok* Whoops! Sorry!
Obiwan Kagome: We need a ride, Miroku, you up to it?
Miroku Solo: *looks at her wide eyed*
Obiwan Kagome: What?
Miroku Solo: *Holds her hands* Please bear my child.
Obiwan Kagome: 00
Inu Skywalker: *whacks him over the head*
Shio: Doesn't waste time, does he?
ShippouD2: *shakes his head*
Hachibaka: *comes out of the space ship* okay! Everything's set, Master Miroku.
Miroku Solo: Cool! Let's go!
(Everyone get's on and Kagome comes up to the front to give Miroku and Hachibaka directions)
Miroku Solo: *looking at the consol* This is a very delicate system Hachi, sensitive knobs and levers and touch sensitive buttons.
Hachibaka: I understand.
Miroku Solo: *nods* Better mess with everything. *they start touching all of the buttons*
Spaceship: *jumps and zooms off into space so hard that Kagome who was walking toward the cockpit, fell backwards with a loud thump*
Sound effects: THUMP!
Obiwan Kagome: God damnit, Miroku!
Miroku Solo: Sorry, Obiwan Kagome-sama!
Spaceship: *Zooms through space till Miroku and Hachibaka can see a small round thing in the distance.*
Shio: What's that?
Miroku: It's a planet.
Shippou: It's an octopus!
Inu Skywalker: It's a head!
Obewan Kagome: It's the death star! *getting all excited* I remember this part in the movie!
Shio: *taps Inu Skywalker on the back to get his attention* Be right back, man! Going to the snack bar!
Inu Skywalker: Okay then, but make sure your back by the fight scene.
Shio: Don't worry. Hey, do you want me to bring back anything?
Inu Skywalker: Okay! Do they have any ramen?
Shio: Ah, no…don't think so…
Inu Skywalker: Damn.
Obewan Kagome: Then could you bring back some more popcorn?
Shio: Of course! ^_^
ShippouD2: Ooh! I want snow caps!
Miroku: Pepsi please!
Inu Skywalker: I think I want nachos.
Shio: Okay! I'll be right back! *walks off screen*
Spaceship: *Lands inside of the death star*
Obiwan Kagome: *to the others* okay, I'll go lower the ships shield and fight the bad guy while you rescue the princess.
Miroku Solo: ^_^ I like this plan!
Inu Skywalker: Why do you get to fight the bad guy??
Obiwan Kagome: Wha? What does it matter??
Inu Skywalker: *whines* I wanna fight the bad guy!
Obiwan Kagome: Okay, fine! Inu and I will go lower the shield and Miroku, Hachi and ShippouD2 will go save the princess.
Miroku and his team: *start to leave*
Inu Skywalker: Miroku!
Miroku: ?
Inu Skywalker: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Miroku: Ah, Inu! That takes all the fun out of it!
*Miroku, ShippouD2, and Hachibaka go off in one direction heading for where the prison is*
ShippouD2: Hey Miroku, how do you know where the princess is?
Miroku: As a monk and a rouge space pilot, Shippou, I have an innate sense of direction.
ShippouD2: -_- ;;;; You got a copy of the script too, didn't you?
Miroku Solo: I prefer the other explanation.
Princess Sango: *sitting in her prison room laying on a cot boredly* This is so helpless woman..
Miroku Solo: *from outside of the door* Princess?
Princess Sango: You're supposed to break open the door, knucklehead!
*There is a laser sound heard and the door flies open*
Shippou: Hi Sango!
Princess
Sango: Hello Shippou, I-EEP!!
Miroku Solo: *pats her butt*
Sfx: WHACK!!
Miroku Solo: *reels with a large hand print on his face*
Princess Sango: *huffing and puffing angrily*
Hachibaka: Oh dear, master. ;;;;
Shippou: Somethings never change…even in the movies…;;;;;
(Inu Skywalker and ObiwanKagome run down the hallway after lowering the shield)
Inu Skywalker: Shouldn't there be more storm troupers around here or something?
Obiwan Kagome: Not likely. We're about to meet the bag guy.
Inu Skywalker: Really?? Where is he??
Obiwan Kagome: Well we should be seeing him right about-
(All of a sudden a tall dark figure comes out of no where breathing like they have been chewing tobacco for years…Darth Vader)
Inu Skywalker: Oh, kick ass!! *Getting all excited*
Darth Vader: *without saying a word draws light saber*
Inu Skywalker: YES! FIGHT ME!! *draws tetsusaiga light saber and jumps at Darth Vader*
Kagome: HEY!! *angry* I'M supposed to fight him first!!
Inu Skywalker: Don't care! *continues to fight Darth Vader with a light saber*
Miroku Solo, ShippouD2, Hachibaka, and Princess Sango: *arrive on set*
Kagome: Oh! Guys! *voice dripping with sarcasm and anger* You're just in time to see Mr. Macho ruin the script!
Inu Yasha: Screw the script! I'm doing things MY way!
Kagome: Yeah? Well the author might have you screwing Shio if you start trying to disobey her!
Inu Yasha: OO ??!!?!? *stopps fighting* Hubba-wha???
Shio: *comes on set with arms full of snacks* Did someone say "screwing"?
Darth Vader: *stops and looks at him*
Miroku: Shio! You're back!
Shio: Yeah! There was a freakishly long line too!
Darth Vader: *all of a sudden steps toward him* You know Shio, you and I aren't that different…
Shio: Huh?
Darth Vader: Shio…I am…*pulls off helmut and flips long red hair, it's SUMIKO!!* …your sister!
Shio: OO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *drops snacks, runs, jumps off the balcony. After a few seconds everyone hears a loud crunch when he hits the bottom*
Everyone else: *blink* *blink* …………………..
Kagome: Who want's waffles?
Everyone: I do!
Everyone: Walks off set.
~~~~~~~~~~End of Dream Sequence~~~~~~~~~
"Kagome??" Inu Yasha shook her shoulder.
She woke up, no longer Obiwan Kagome in her dream but regular Kagome, who fell asleep next to a tree, speaking in story format instead of script, with a green mini skirt, and a dog demon boyfriend who was not a space farmer.
"Wha?" she looked up at him, starting to come too.
"Are you okay??" Inu Yasha asked her worriedly.
She looked around before answering, "I-I think so.."
"Come on…" he looked up determinedly.
"I've still got Shio's scent…let's follow it before it disappears!"
Kagome held onto him as he leapt off in Shio's direction.