AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for not writing in a while. This story's coming closer to an end! Oh my! When this one's over, look for the "Superstars go to Washington D.C."! It could be interesting! Spanish translations at the bottom of the page…
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Looking out the window towards a building next to the McDonalds she was currently taking shelter in, Jade noticed there were faces peering back at her through the dust floating about outdoors from the cow's hooves. Familiar faces, at that.
"Are all the other wrestlers in there?" Jade asked, tapping the glass pane to indicate what she was talking about after a few moments of blank stares from those nearest to her.
"They must be. Looks like a crowd in there." Stephanie responded then walked up to the counter. "Where's a manager? Thank you.
What's the phone number for that place next door?" she asked, jerking a thumb in the direction of the dust-covered window by which Jade was still standing.
"Oh…Um, yes. Here it is." The girl said then handed Steph a small piece of paper.
"Now give me a phone, please."
"There are payphones-"
'No, a real phone."
"But you are not authorized-"
"I sure as hell am! I'm a McMahon, the billion-dollar princess, the-"
"Um, ok Steph, we don't need nor want to hear about all of your 'titles.' Maybe some other time." Rey said grabbing the slip of paper containing the number from between her fingers and facing the manager Steph had been "speaking" to. "May I please use your special telephone?" he asked, batting his eyelashes and smiling sweetly at the manager as everyone else burst out laughing uncontrollably.
Kurt fell on the floor, but his wrappings were apparently caught in the seat and he fell with his bare ass upon the tiles, only causing more laughter and falling upon the floor amongst the onlookers as he scrambled back to his seat and wrapped up again, a glowing red face the only thing you could see now.
Just then Bischoff walked in the door and was nearly sideswiped.
"God damn it Rocky, get back here!" Bitchoff yelled at the Rock as he ran past him, shrieking with his eyes covered, and exited through the door into the relentless stream of cows where he was swept away immediately.
"Oh, fuck." Jeff said.
"You said it." Chris Benoit replied.
"What?"
"Well, um… what are you talking about?"
"I drank all of my Skittle McFlurry!" Jeff exclaimed.
Jade fell on the floor laughing.
"Jeff, I thought you had something useful to contribute for once!" Bitch said indignantly, "We just lost a lot of revenue because you," he glanced accusatorily at Kurt, "scared the People's Champion out of his sanity!"
All at once a flurry of argument broke out.
"I think he was already missing some of his sanity." Rey remarked.
"It was important! All you can think about is money, you moron!" Kaley shouted, dragging Jeff and his empty cup towards the McFlurry machine on the wall.
"Hey! Rey made me laugh! It's not my fault!" Kurt said defensively; or in an attempt at defense, it sounded more like whimpering.
"But you could wear clothes, you know!" Bitch yelled back.
"I already-" Kurt started but by then Steph had descended upon the Bitch.
"You've lost revenue? What about Rhyno? You stole Rocky from my show in the first place! Rhyno's never coming back, now that he's joined his own species, to some degree at least!" She screeched.
"Rhyno was worth nothing! You know what, I think someone just hates RAW! They're targeting it or something…I mean, Trips is dead…Naitch is dead...Steven Richards is dead. Victoria is-"
"That's ok, really. No one wants to hear it. NO ONE! So just…Shush!" Jade said, gazing out the window once again. "What the fuck? She's gunna get herself killed! I have to see this!" Jade said pressing her face close to the glass.
"Who? What? What's happening?" A number of voices demanded behind her.
"Er…Jazz is…well, look for yourself," she said gesturing at the window beside her with an amazed look on her face.
They all found out soon enough what has stunned Jade. Jazz was outside the building next to McDonalds, standing over the carcass of a bloodied cow, using a long knife to skin the creature expertly.
"What is she gunna do? Isn't that illegal?" Kaley asked, who had just finished helping Jeff make another Skittle McFlurry.
"Do we want to know?" Jade said, answering her questions with yet another, as she watched Jazz place the skin around herself in the shape of some sort of Middle-Eastern Robe.
"Wow…how could she do that?" Steph asked.
"Simple, I could do it easily. Kurt, you'd like a nice robe like that, wouldn't you?" Brock said standing up.
"Oh really? I bet I could make mine way better, and with pretty colors, too!" Kurt said, also standing up.
Before any of the stunned onlookers could respond, they had gone out the side entrance. A few moments later, Kurt returned wrapped in cow skin.
"That's revolting!" Kaley said disgustedly.
"Where's Brock?" Steph asked cautiously; she didn't need to lose another Superstar, much less the WWE Champion.
"He saw that new girl, Gail Kim, in the window of that other place and ran in there real quick. Quite the entertainment-"
"Well," Rey began as he placed the phone back on the cradle attached to the wall, "I just talked to Jericho, next door-"
"Oooh…That must have been a pain in the ass!" Jade interrupted.
"Yeah, that's why it took so long. So anyway, we're meeting them out back in about ten minutes. They noticed there were some milk-"
"Where? Where's milk?" Kurt asked excitedly.
"Mil-"
"Where?!"
"Kurt-"
"Where is it?"
"I just-"
"Tell me!"
"I already-"
"I want milk!!"
"You would find out if-"
"WAAAAAAHHH!"
"SHUT UP!" Rey finally shouted, spouting anger not usually seen.
"I'm sorry-"
But before he could finish his apology, Steph placed a hand over his mouth. "Continue, if you please." She said to Rey.
"Right. As I was saying, there are some milk trucks," he paused as something muffled emitted from behind Steph's hand, "Which we are apparently stealing to get us back to the Kalahari. We may have to take the…um…back way." Rey explained quickly in case of his words affecting any of his other colleagues and inducing them to violent reactions.
"What is the back way?" Bitch asked, sneering.
"Mainly fields and a bit of forest…" Rey said, "So we should get going now." He had barely finished his sentence before Kurt broke free of Steph's grasp and hurtled towards the back door.
The other wrestlers all jumped into the waiting milk trunks. Kurt was so involved in drinking milk that he didn't notice Kaley sneaking up behind him with a pair of scissors until she poked his ass with the sharp blades.
"Ahhh! What are you doing?" Kurt exclaimed.
"I thought you new clothes needed a butt flap." Kaley said grinning as she lifted up the flap to admire Kurt's ass, but both he and Jeff swatted her hand away.
"Kaley, I told you to leave his ass alone. You can play with mine, remember?" Jeff said sternly.
"Does anyone have any pins? Anyone at all?" Kurt asked, "Or am I going to have to kill another creature?"
"They're called cows, Kurt." Brock said. Both he and Gail had joined the McDonalds group in the first milk truck.
"Are you guys ready to go?" Steph asked from the drivers seat.
Everyone chimed in with a "yes" except Kurt.
"No, no one has answered my question! I need pins!" he exclaimed.
"Hat pins, bobby pins, what kind of pins?" Steph responded.
"What ever will fix this!" he said in near hysterics as he turned around to model the butt flap.
"Oh, don't use pins! Your ass isn't that bad!" Steph said then got the truck moving. "Hold on everyone, this might be a bit bumpy." And with that, they were off.
"Can they damage this truck?" Rey asked looking out the window at the cows that were charging the trucks at random.
"We'll go fast enough so that we don't find out…hopefully." Steph said.
They entered a grove of widely spaced trees, and Steph shut up so she could concentrate on steering safely around them. At one point she slammed on the brakes to avoid a squirrel that had jumped out of a tree and landed in front of them. There was a loud thud.
"Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow! Mix! Meow mix!" Brock started singing.
"Oh man, not Mr. Schizophrenic again! And we can't hit him again or he'll start that Bacon Bits shit or something!" Jade said.
"Sure we can!" said Kurt as he bashed Brock over the head.
"Hello," Brock said smiling, "Can I offer you my services tonight, young man?"
"Oh damn! Who is he now? Sable or Dawn Marie?" Jade asked, amidst hysterics.
"I don't know," Kurt said as he began backing up in the limited space available, "But I'm not sticking around close enough to find out!"
"Don't be scared, baby," Brock said in a soft, soothing voice, "We'll have lots of fun."
"Who are you?" Kurt asked.
"Why does it matter? You'd love me anyway, wouldn't you?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.
"Yeah…sure, sure…What is your name?" Kurt said distractedly.
"I'm Sable, baby! Ravish me!" Brock said as he jumped on Kurt.
"Oh fuck! I'm dying! Get him OFF me! Help! Get her-it-him-Brock-cat-bacon-Sable-who ever he is-OFF ME! AHHHHHHHHH! Help!" Kurt said, all in a short capacity of time before someone picked Brock up (not very easily) and threw him into a crate of milk jugs, each of which shattered and sprayed milk everywhere.
Brock stood up immediately and began swaggering around.
"We lie, we cheat, we steal! Ah, I love mi mamasitas! ¿Donde esta Chavolito?" Brock asked.
"Here I am, homes. Who you want to rob today, esse?" He asked, answering himself.
He's…uh…never done this before, has he?" Jade asked as Rey walked over to Brock and tried tricking him.
"Hola. Esse, el es un mentiroso mayor! Yo soy, Chavo…El es una chica, en cambio. ¿Como-"
Seeing Brock's face cut him off with the torrent of Spanish.
"What? What did you say, esse?" Brock asked, confused.
Having succeeded in his mission, Rey nailed him over the head then winced as he waited to see who would be talking next. But instead of saying anything, Brock went over to a crate of milk cartons and sat down. Before anyone could respond to the latest bizarre occurrences, or attempt to talk to Brock, the Kalahari came into sight.
"Looks like Rocky-" Steph started, but stopped mid-sentence, "What the hell is he doing?"
Everyone stared out the windows as the Rock and a bull cow circled each other. Both snorted then Rocky pawed the ground with his foot and charged at the bull.
"Good way to get killed." Jeff remarked uninterestedly.
As his head contacted that of the bull's, there was a thunk, then Rocky flew into the air and landed in some shrubbery.
"I wonder if he's ok?" Steph asked amid Bitchy's shouts of glee.
"Yay! He's not dead, he's not dead! He's not dead, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Bitchy shouted.
"Yeah…poor cow." Kaley said sympathetically.
"I was talking about the Rock." Steph said quietly.
"Oh." Kaley said then burst out laughing.
As all of the milk trucks unloaded and everyone ran inside to avoid being trampled, Stephanie called out above the noise.
"I want everyone, including Bitchy's lot, in their rooms right away! Tomorrow's the last day here and I want everyone calmed down and ready for the big battle at Wrestlemania!" She exclaimed.
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Spanish Translations:
"¿Donde esta Chavolito?" - "Where is Chavolito?"
"Hola. Esse, el es un mentiroso mayor! Yo soy, Chavo…El es una chica, en cambio. ¿Como-" - "Hi. Esse, he is a major liar! It's me, Chavo… he is a girl, instead. What-?"
---------------End Spanish Translations---------------
Hope you liked that chapter!! That's all from me for now! Lol.
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Looking out the window towards a building next to the McDonalds she was currently taking shelter in, Jade noticed there were faces peering back at her through the dust floating about outdoors from the cow's hooves. Familiar faces, at that.
"Are all the other wrestlers in there?" Jade asked, tapping the glass pane to indicate what she was talking about after a few moments of blank stares from those nearest to her.
"They must be. Looks like a crowd in there." Stephanie responded then walked up to the counter. "Where's a manager? Thank you.
What's the phone number for that place next door?" she asked, jerking a thumb in the direction of the dust-covered window by which Jade was still standing.
"Oh…Um, yes. Here it is." The girl said then handed Steph a small piece of paper.
"Now give me a phone, please."
"There are payphones-"
'No, a real phone."
"But you are not authorized-"
"I sure as hell am! I'm a McMahon, the billion-dollar princess, the-"
"Um, ok Steph, we don't need nor want to hear about all of your 'titles.' Maybe some other time." Rey said grabbing the slip of paper containing the number from between her fingers and facing the manager Steph had been "speaking" to. "May I please use your special telephone?" he asked, batting his eyelashes and smiling sweetly at the manager as everyone else burst out laughing uncontrollably.
Kurt fell on the floor, but his wrappings were apparently caught in the seat and he fell with his bare ass upon the tiles, only causing more laughter and falling upon the floor amongst the onlookers as he scrambled back to his seat and wrapped up again, a glowing red face the only thing you could see now.
Just then Bischoff walked in the door and was nearly sideswiped.
"God damn it Rocky, get back here!" Bitchoff yelled at the Rock as he ran past him, shrieking with his eyes covered, and exited through the door into the relentless stream of cows where he was swept away immediately.
"Oh, fuck." Jeff said.
"You said it." Chris Benoit replied.
"What?"
"Well, um… what are you talking about?"
"I drank all of my Skittle McFlurry!" Jeff exclaimed.
Jade fell on the floor laughing.
"Jeff, I thought you had something useful to contribute for once!" Bitch said indignantly, "We just lost a lot of revenue because you," he glanced accusatorily at Kurt, "scared the People's Champion out of his sanity!"
All at once a flurry of argument broke out.
"I think he was already missing some of his sanity." Rey remarked.
"It was important! All you can think about is money, you moron!" Kaley shouted, dragging Jeff and his empty cup towards the McFlurry machine on the wall.
"Hey! Rey made me laugh! It's not my fault!" Kurt said defensively; or in an attempt at defense, it sounded more like whimpering.
"But you could wear clothes, you know!" Bitch yelled back.
"I already-" Kurt started but by then Steph had descended upon the Bitch.
"You've lost revenue? What about Rhyno? You stole Rocky from my show in the first place! Rhyno's never coming back, now that he's joined his own species, to some degree at least!" She screeched.
"Rhyno was worth nothing! You know what, I think someone just hates RAW! They're targeting it or something…I mean, Trips is dead…Naitch is dead...Steven Richards is dead. Victoria is-"
"That's ok, really. No one wants to hear it. NO ONE! So just…Shush!" Jade said, gazing out the window once again. "What the fuck? She's gunna get herself killed! I have to see this!" Jade said pressing her face close to the glass.
"Who? What? What's happening?" A number of voices demanded behind her.
"Er…Jazz is…well, look for yourself," she said gesturing at the window beside her with an amazed look on her face.
They all found out soon enough what has stunned Jade. Jazz was outside the building next to McDonalds, standing over the carcass of a bloodied cow, using a long knife to skin the creature expertly.
"What is she gunna do? Isn't that illegal?" Kaley asked, who had just finished helping Jeff make another Skittle McFlurry.
"Do we want to know?" Jade said, answering her questions with yet another, as she watched Jazz place the skin around herself in the shape of some sort of Middle-Eastern Robe.
"Wow…how could she do that?" Steph asked.
"Simple, I could do it easily. Kurt, you'd like a nice robe like that, wouldn't you?" Brock said standing up.
"Oh really? I bet I could make mine way better, and with pretty colors, too!" Kurt said, also standing up.
Before any of the stunned onlookers could respond, they had gone out the side entrance. A few moments later, Kurt returned wrapped in cow skin.
"That's revolting!" Kaley said disgustedly.
"Where's Brock?" Steph asked cautiously; she didn't need to lose another Superstar, much less the WWE Champion.
"He saw that new girl, Gail Kim, in the window of that other place and ran in there real quick. Quite the entertainment-"
"Well," Rey began as he placed the phone back on the cradle attached to the wall, "I just talked to Jericho, next door-"
"Oooh…That must have been a pain in the ass!" Jade interrupted.
"Yeah, that's why it took so long. So anyway, we're meeting them out back in about ten minutes. They noticed there were some milk-"
"Where? Where's milk?" Kurt asked excitedly.
"Mil-"
"Where?!"
"Kurt-"
"Where is it?"
"I just-"
"Tell me!"
"I already-"
"I want milk!!"
"You would find out if-"
"WAAAAAAHHH!"
"SHUT UP!" Rey finally shouted, spouting anger not usually seen.
"I'm sorry-"
But before he could finish his apology, Steph placed a hand over his mouth. "Continue, if you please." She said to Rey.
"Right. As I was saying, there are some milk trucks," he paused as something muffled emitted from behind Steph's hand, "Which we are apparently stealing to get us back to the Kalahari. We may have to take the…um…back way." Rey explained quickly in case of his words affecting any of his other colleagues and inducing them to violent reactions.
"What is the back way?" Bitch asked, sneering.
"Mainly fields and a bit of forest…" Rey said, "So we should get going now." He had barely finished his sentence before Kurt broke free of Steph's grasp and hurtled towards the back door.
The other wrestlers all jumped into the waiting milk trunks. Kurt was so involved in drinking milk that he didn't notice Kaley sneaking up behind him with a pair of scissors until she poked his ass with the sharp blades.
"Ahhh! What are you doing?" Kurt exclaimed.
"I thought you new clothes needed a butt flap." Kaley said grinning as she lifted up the flap to admire Kurt's ass, but both he and Jeff swatted her hand away.
"Kaley, I told you to leave his ass alone. You can play with mine, remember?" Jeff said sternly.
"Does anyone have any pins? Anyone at all?" Kurt asked, "Or am I going to have to kill another creature?"
"They're called cows, Kurt." Brock said. Both he and Gail had joined the McDonalds group in the first milk truck.
"Are you guys ready to go?" Steph asked from the drivers seat.
Everyone chimed in with a "yes" except Kurt.
"No, no one has answered my question! I need pins!" he exclaimed.
"Hat pins, bobby pins, what kind of pins?" Steph responded.
"What ever will fix this!" he said in near hysterics as he turned around to model the butt flap.
"Oh, don't use pins! Your ass isn't that bad!" Steph said then got the truck moving. "Hold on everyone, this might be a bit bumpy." And with that, they were off.
"Can they damage this truck?" Rey asked looking out the window at the cows that were charging the trucks at random.
"We'll go fast enough so that we don't find out…hopefully." Steph said.
They entered a grove of widely spaced trees, and Steph shut up so she could concentrate on steering safely around them. At one point she slammed on the brakes to avoid a squirrel that had jumped out of a tree and landed in front of them. There was a loud thud.
"Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow! Mix! Meow mix!" Brock started singing.
"Oh man, not Mr. Schizophrenic again! And we can't hit him again or he'll start that Bacon Bits shit or something!" Jade said.
"Sure we can!" said Kurt as he bashed Brock over the head.
"Hello," Brock said smiling, "Can I offer you my services tonight, young man?"
"Oh damn! Who is he now? Sable or Dawn Marie?" Jade asked, amidst hysterics.
"I don't know," Kurt said as he began backing up in the limited space available, "But I'm not sticking around close enough to find out!"
"Don't be scared, baby," Brock said in a soft, soothing voice, "We'll have lots of fun."
"Who are you?" Kurt asked.
"Why does it matter? You'd love me anyway, wouldn't you?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.
"Yeah…sure, sure…What is your name?" Kurt said distractedly.
"I'm Sable, baby! Ravish me!" Brock said as he jumped on Kurt.
"Oh fuck! I'm dying! Get him OFF me! Help! Get her-it-him-Brock-cat-bacon-Sable-who ever he is-OFF ME! AHHHHHHHHH! Help!" Kurt said, all in a short capacity of time before someone picked Brock up (not very easily) and threw him into a crate of milk jugs, each of which shattered and sprayed milk everywhere.
Brock stood up immediately and began swaggering around.
"We lie, we cheat, we steal! Ah, I love mi mamasitas! ¿Donde esta Chavolito?" Brock asked.
"Here I am, homes. Who you want to rob today, esse?" He asked, answering himself.
He's…uh…never done this before, has he?" Jade asked as Rey walked over to Brock and tried tricking him.
"Hola. Esse, el es un mentiroso mayor! Yo soy, Chavo…El es una chica, en cambio. ¿Como-"
Seeing Brock's face cut him off with the torrent of Spanish.
"What? What did you say, esse?" Brock asked, confused.
Having succeeded in his mission, Rey nailed him over the head then winced as he waited to see who would be talking next. But instead of saying anything, Brock went over to a crate of milk cartons and sat down. Before anyone could respond to the latest bizarre occurrences, or attempt to talk to Brock, the Kalahari came into sight.
"Looks like Rocky-" Steph started, but stopped mid-sentence, "What the hell is he doing?"
Everyone stared out the windows as the Rock and a bull cow circled each other. Both snorted then Rocky pawed the ground with his foot and charged at the bull.
"Good way to get killed." Jeff remarked uninterestedly.
As his head contacted that of the bull's, there was a thunk, then Rocky flew into the air and landed in some shrubbery.
"I wonder if he's ok?" Steph asked amid Bitchy's shouts of glee.
"Yay! He's not dead, he's not dead! He's not dead, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" Bitchy shouted.
"Yeah…poor cow." Kaley said sympathetically.
"I was talking about the Rock." Steph said quietly.
"Oh." Kaley said then burst out laughing.
As all of the milk trucks unloaded and everyone ran inside to avoid being trampled, Stephanie called out above the noise.
"I want everyone, including Bitchy's lot, in their rooms right away! Tomorrow's the last day here and I want everyone calmed down and ready for the big battle at Wrestlemania!" She exclaimed.
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Spanish Translations:
"¿Donde esta Chavolito?" - "Where is Chavolito?"
"Hola. Esse, el es un mentiroso mayor! Yo soy, Chavo…El es una chica, en cambio. ¿Como-" - "Hi. Esse, he is a major liar! It's me, Chavo… he is a girl, instead. What-?"
---------------End Spanish Translations---------------
Hope you liked that chapter!! That's all from me for now! Lol.