The Yaoi and Yuri Game
Authoress's Note: I don't own the anime chararecters. And I replaced last show's announcer Bobby Adam with the spunky hyper
girl Jane Mari! Fear her hyperness...thank goodness the announcer only has a few lines, anyone want her job? Your welcome to
it...
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS, SUGGESTIONS, AND ESPECIALLY THE VOTES! They were greatly appreciated (I got so many!
I feel so loved!!!) and they were needed. Why? Because it's your job to vote couple off not mine! The couple that lost in
the voting is....you have to read to find out!
ENJOY!
Random Audience Member: So will this show be any good?
Host/Authoress: *glares* Shiri massen... (japanese is fun! No that's not the translation...)
-------------------------------
Round 2: The first night and day, for lack of a better name...
You see the hostess on a stool dressed up in her all black outfit again smiling at the camera.
Host: I'm your delightful creme filled hostess...
Audience Member: That's the stuff!
Host: AHHH! No not copyright infringement nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Anyways to get the show started we're
going to show what happened on the contestant's first night...from our cameras hidden in their room!!! MUAHAHAHA!
Jane Mari: HEE HEE! That's so dirty! Our show is brought to you by Jarritos Jr.! The best soda in the world now made for the
wee iddle widdle babies!
Host: *eye twitches* Must not kill perky one...must remember the damn contract...*growls* ROLL THE BEAUTIFUL FOOTAGE!
The screen goes blank and then you can see the inside of a hotel room. In one corner Midvalley is playing his saxophone very
loudly and in the other Kuroneko is holding it's ears in pain and "nyao"ing.
Midvalley: I'll show you! Never take the complimentary mint again!
Kuroneko: NYAO NYAO NYAO NYAO! *runs up and scratches Midvalley's nose making him stop playing* Nyao.
Midvalley: Damn cat...stupid hostess not finding me a decent partner...*starts grumbling while he goes to the bathroom to
clean his scratches*
The screen fizzles out and shows a different room that has a teen form Koenma bouncing up and down on the bed. Hiei is glaring
at him from his seat on the end of the bed. His eye twitches each time Koenma bounces.
Koenma: WHEEE! Hiei stop being grumpy and try bouncing! It's great fun you'll actually enjoy it! *starts doing flips*
Hiei: Baka royal brat...I thought pacifiers were supposed to shuta baby up not make it talk more. *glares*
Koenma: Er...Hiei I thought when people were shorter they usually were more brighter dispositioned...*keeps bouncing*
Hiei: I AM NOT SHORT! Grrrr...*shows his fangs at Koenma who stops bouncing and sits down in a chair in the hotel room desk*
Koenma: Heh...I'll sleep in this thing tonight then...goodnight Hiei! *pretends to drift off to sleep*
Hiei: Hn. *goes under the covers and actually falls asleep*
Koenma: *very quietly to himself* I'm doomed... -_-;;
The lights go off in their room and now a different hotel room is seen. Kuwabara and Yusuke glaring at each other from the
left and right side of the bed, respectively.
Kuwabara: So if we stay quiet and angry looking like this then they can't pin anything on us?
Yusuke: Idiot! Don't talk until I find that damn hidden camera...If only those damn things had something that stood out on
them.
Kuwabara: Yeah like that thing over there with the blinking red light, *points at the camera* Hey wait a minute...
Yusuke: THE CAMERA! *hugs Kuwabara then lets go of him in disgust* Ugh...*aims his finger at the camera and grins* REI GUN!
The screen goes into a bright flash then blacks out. The next room shows Keiko and Botan playing cards on their bed.
Keiko: Gin! Ha ha! Botan do you really think Yusuke won't do anything with Kuwabara? You did say that you almost got the big
oaf to kiss Yusuke instead of me to bring him back.
Botan: *grins and shuffles the cards* I'm sure he won't do a thing! But I'm still holding my 15 dollar bet on that he and
Kuwabara get it on before round 5.
Keiko: *sweatdrops* Gee your such a reassuring partner...
A few words pop up on the screen, "All else the happens is that Keiko wins 2 more times and Botan 3. Then they go to sleep
on opposite sides of the floor with the bed in between them. They seem that paranoid of Yuri. Hey what's that your holding
Jane Mari? AHHHH! Nooooo don't kill me! I'm just the guy that types up subtitles...ahhhhhhh-" The screen now shows an ice
blue eye staring into it.
Knives: You will all obey Knives...All of you god damn spiders will obey me or die!! *now the camera only shows his mouth*
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vash: Knives stop fooling around with the camera! You've been doing the whole "why humans should die" speech for 3 hours
already! It's driving me nuts!!
Knives: Really? *looks innocently at Vash*
Vash: Yes...so will you please stop it? Pretty please?
Knives: *scoffs* I'm not listening to you love and peace boy! Don't make me go over there and mess with some of the viewer's
minds with twincest!
Vash: Love and Peace is good! Some of the viewers actually enjoy the twincest thing anyways...*munches on a donut that he got
from a fan girl earlier*
Knives: *sneers* So are you suggesting we do it then little brother?
Vash: Eek! Not in front of the camera! Go back to the speech! I'm going to bed! *dives underneath the covers and whimpers at
the thought of seeing his brother try to seduce him*
Knives: Playing with minds is so entertaining! *glares back into the camera with an evil smile* Now as for you spiders...
*starts going into his why the human race should die speech again*
The camera fizzles out and shows a view of blue hair.
Wolfwood: So with you standing in front of the camera like that then we can't be filmed?
Legato: Exactly chapel...do you feel like manipulating the viewer's thoughts?
Wolfwood: I'm WOLFWOOD...W-O-L-F...wait how would we manipulate their minds?
Legato: By making their thoughts suggest lucid scenes to them.
Wolfwood: Say what? Legato you know that I find your eyes too scary to actually...
Legato: NO CHAPEL! I mean just making them think it! *sigh* Master would of never been this slow...
Wolfwood: Hey! Fine, sounds like an ok idea. *starts saying in a lustful tone* Let your sweet ass wander over this way blue
hair...*you hear him gag slightly at his own words*
Legato: *snickers and adds in an almost moaning voice* Oh! Oooh Wolfwood...what are you doing?
Wolfwood: Making you feel things you never felt before!
Legato: *mumbles* You don't know what me and Knives do when we're bored..
Wolfwood: You've been cheating on me? *sob* How could you Legato Sweetass??
Legato: Idiot. I think we've played with their minds enough...besides I wish to go to sleep. I am not going to stand here all
night. *glares into the camera and the screen goes blank but you can still hear sound* What the fuck are you doing chapel???
Wolfwood: Confessing my love for you! Oh wait we're done? Geez...*you can hear pants zipping up*
Legato: You are very fortunate that I'm not allowed to kill you.
Wolfwood: *lighter lighting* Just don't try to scare me by saying you liked what you saw or anything...*can hear smoking noises*
Legato: Ugh...you and your obscene and foul smoking...*random thudding noises and a flushing noise*
Wolfwood: YOU FLUSHED MY CIGARETTES?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHH!
The screen shows Milly and Meryl with their own blankets on the bed.
Milly: Goodnight Meryl!
Meryl: Night Milly...
Milly: Meryl?
Meryl: What??
Milly: We don't actually have to do that Yuri stuff do we? I really don't want to...the pudding was nice though!
Meryl: What does pudding have to do with Yuri? Hopefully your pudding obsession and my work obsession will get us voted off
before we have to do any of that though.
Milly: Oh ok! Goodnight Sempai!
Meryl: Goodnight.
Milly: Sweet dreams!
Meryl: ok...
Milly: Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Meryl: ....
Milly: Hope the sandman comes and...
Meryl: Milly shut up and go to bed!
Milly: *grins* Ok sempai!
New room shows up and it has two beds and two blurs run past it.
Karasu: Come on Kurama...It won't hurt to let me sleep by your side...*pops up behind Kurama and nuzzles his hair*
Kurama: BAKA! *zaps Karasu with the cattle prod and runs to the other side of the room* Don't step near me or I'll zap you
into a coma!! *backs up to a wall and holds the cattle prod out in front of him*
Karasu: Oooh...I like it when you play rough Kurama...
Kurama: What? Awe...god...*looks queasy and clutches his stomach*
Karasu: Is my beautiful love feeling sick? Here let me come over and help you...*leaps up to ponce on Kurama*
Kurama: *zaps Karasu at full power...(for the sake of the story cattle prods have different power levels* in mid air* There
not a coma..but it will do for now...*goes into his bed and makes a thorny plant wall with one of the seeds from his hair
around him* Ahh...peace and quiet and no psychopath trying to molest me...*goes to sleep*
Karasu: *coughs out a puff of smoke* Ow...Don't worry my pet I'll get you yet...*blinks and blows up the ice bucket in the room*
Stupid show made me rhyme!! I can't even kill him what was the point of sabotaging the hostess's cards???
The camera fizzles out and the set with all the loveseats and the armchair in the center is shown but with one less loveseat.
Host: Well...not too much steamyness..*sigh of dissapointment* And something very mysterious has happened to our subtitle
typer dude. Very mysterious indeed...
Audience Member: It was the announcer girl! Jane Mari! She did it!! Huh? AHHHH!!! *The audience member dissapears*
Host: *blinks* um...I didn't catch that but I guess he had to go to the little boy's room or something since he's not there.
Jane Mari: YES! That must be it! HEE HEE HEE! *hides a glowing wand looking thing behind her back and tosses her hair*
Host: Ugh...well I have to go and tell the losers of this round that it's time for them to leave. *scene goes blank and
opens up again so that you see the host in front of a hall of hotel rooms* Time to wake up the losers! *walks down to a door
and knocks on it* Rise and shine Midvalley and creepy cat!
Midvalley: *grogily opens the door and groans out with barely open eyes* It's 5 in the damn morning...
Host: Really? *checks watch* oops! Should'nt of let it go in water huh? Well I have some bad news Midvalley...
Midvalley: I'm going to be forced into commiting Beastality aren't I?
Host: *blinks* UGH! No! You and you partner are round 1's losing couple and now you two can go on your seperate ways...
Midvalley: I'm...I'm free???
Host: Er...that's one way to put it I suppose, you now can be in the audience for free as a consolation prize though!
Midvalley: I'M FREE! NO MORE GIANT EVIL GREEN EYES! WAHAHAHA! Thank you...*hugs the host and runs back and forth in the hall
yelling for joy*
Host: Make sure to thank the people who voted you out! They gave you such kawaii nick names! Middie, Middy, Middy-kun...so
adorable!
Midvalley: I owe them! FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *goes to personally thank those who voted him off*
Kuroneko: Nyao?
Host: Out demonic cat out!
Kuroneko: Nyao..
Host: Why do I even try? -_-;; Well back to the studio where in a few minutes the contestants will be playing their second
safety challenge! I hope Karasu didn't loose the pacifier...
The camera fades out and fades back into the studio set showing all the contestants there. Some of them notice the missing
couple and loveseat.
Vash: Where's Midvalley and Kuroneko? *looks under the seat cushions of the loveseat him and Knives are sharing*
Knives: *whacks Vash on the head* my cushion! Besides the cat is gone. Be happy inept little brother.
Vash: We're twins! How can I be the little brother???
Knives: I'm taller so there. *sticks his tongue out*
Host: I'm glad to see that your all still alive! *laughs nervously at the blank stares she gets in response* So the question
of the day...
Botan: Is there a quiz? Oh my, you never mentioned that!!
Kuwabara and Yusuke: QUIZ?!?!!??! *look around nervously for teachers*
Host: No it's just one question all of you answer, *clears throat* So today it is...Are any of you feeling sore?
Karasu: *looks like he's covered in ash and coughs out a puff of smoke* Yes...
Kurama: *holds on to the cattle prod for dear life* That's why you listen to me when I tell you to stop trying to grope me!
Jane Mari: *bounces in and grabs the cattle prod* Sorry but we have to save this for today's safety challenge winner! *sings
a song from sesame street as she skips off stage* LA LA LA LA...LA LA LA LA...elmo's world! hee hee!
Host: *twitches* Can't kill the perky one...musn't kill...
Kurama: O_O...get the bombing maniac away from me! *dives behind the host's armchair as Karasu lunges for him*
Karasu: Dear Kurama I just want to proove my love for you my beautiful Kurama...*smiles wickedly*
Koenma: Don't you kill the ones you love Karasu?
Karasu: Yes...
Koenma: *one of the only ones not staring wide eyed at Karasu* And didn't you sign a contract for getting on this show?
Karasu: *grumbles* Yes, don't worry my beautiful kitsune I SHALL find a loop hole.
Kurama: *shoots daggers with his eyes at Karasu and bows at Koenma* Thank Lord Koenma.
Host: All of you still have quite a few rounds to last still...
Legato: I should kill you and destroy this set leaving no trace of you or your idiotic contracts!
Host: *hands Legato a hot dog* So any of you?
Vash: Me!
Everyone except Vash and Knives: O_o
Vash: AHH! No not that way! Knives kept whacking on the head with the stale bread we got this morning for breakfast.
Legato: *says in between mouthfuls of hot dog* Master getting stale bread? *gasps and starts choking on the hot dog*
Wolfwood: Partner! *does the heimlich manuever on Legato* I want to win those body guards at the end!
Host: You're coupling was the second highest in votes to get kicked off...
Wolfwood: I could of let the blue haired bastard die??? Now you tell me..*mutters curses too foul for PG-13 under his breath*
Legato: Why does saving someone from choking look like your humping them too?
Keiko: Pervert! Your worse than Yusuke!
Yusuke: Thanks Keiko! By the way your uniform looks really NICE today...*raises his eyebrows up and down at Keiko*
Keiko: Yusuke you beast! *delivers one of her ultra powerful slaps of doom and Yusuke crawls back to the loveseat after landing
on the other side of the studio*
Kuwabara: HA HA! Urameshi got beat up by a girl!
Yusuke: Shut up Kazuma or I'll put you in the pain I'm in.
Host: Well the safety challenge today is...Karasu I need the pacifier back by the way
Karasu: I blew it up.
Milly: The poor pacifier!! *looks like she's about to cry*
Host: *sighs* FINE! Well today's challenge either way is *snaps fingers and the lights go out then a spotlight shines on the
host who's starting to click castenets and look melodramatic* THE DANCE OF THE....TANGO!!!
Meryl: Isn't tang that orange juice powder?
Kurama: Tango is a very dramatic dance...you know those ones where the couple is dancing cheek to cheek and then one dips the
other in time to the music? Wait...Oh no! Please don't make me do that!!! Not with HIM! *points angrily at a grinning Karasu*
Hiei: Hn. I'm not doing some baka ningen dance.
Koenma: Come on Hiei be a sport! I want to last a while on this show...I have a bet with George. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY
PA PA!
Yusuke: HA! Can take the toddler and put it into a teen's body but can't take the toddler out of the teen! Pacifier boy!
Koenma: *growls* Hush Yusuke Urameshi. I'll buy you three rounds of sweet snow Hiei!
Hiei: Sweet snow? *eyes light up* Make it 5...
Koenma: Deal!
Host: Now to show the judges...me...and...oh! I know! Yo saxophone boy! Want to be a judge?
Midvalley: *walks onto the set* Do I get to hold up those number cards?
Host: Yup! *brings out two sets of number cards from 0 to 10 and gives one to herself and one to Midvalley* Let the games begin!
Cue the music and our first dancing pair is...Keiko and Botan!
Keiko and Botan: Um...*they both shrug and do the Tango but only holding hands and being an arm's distance apart from each other*
Botan: All done! ^_^
The host and Midvalley both hold up 2's.
Keiko: Oh well, I think I want to get kicked out anyways. I don't go for girls...
Yusuke: Yeah you go for manly men like me! *grins*
Keiko: YUSUKE! *slap o' dooms him again and goes back to her seat fuming*
Host: Well now up is Legato and Wolfwood! Legato put the hot dog down you can finish it after your dance.
Legato and Wolfwood actually Tango and dance cheek to cheek. Instead of a rose in his mouth (like most of one of the people
doing the tango do) he has a pixi stick. Wolfwood grabs his butt and Legato glares and slams him to the ground.
Legato: What the hell was that Chapel?? *chomps down his pixi stick angrily* (A/N: What?? How can you eat those sugary sticks
of goodness in anger??!?!?!) The Tango does not include a groping of the hiney region...
Wolfwood: Did you just say hiney?
Legato: *glares* Of course not!
Midvalley holds up a 10 and tries to hold back his snickering and the host holds up an 8.
Host: If you two got a little more steamy maybe I would of given you a better score...next up is Yusuke and Kuwabara!
Yusuke and Kuwabara Tango extremely close to each other and almost seem to be grinding their hips together as they dance cheek
to cheek. Yusuke almost hits Kuwabara's head on the floor when he dips him.
Yusuke: God! You weight a ton Kuwabara!
Kuwabara: Hmph! I am not fat! *crosses his arms and pouts*
Midvalley holds up a 6 but the host holds up a 10.
Host: I felt sorry for Yusuke for having to dance with the big oaf...Next is Koenma and Hiei!
Koenma almost sweeps Hiei off his feet and has to carry the slightly shorter demon to get him to actually dance. Koenma
sweatdrops and gives Hiei a peck on the cheek.
The host stares in shock and puts up a 3 and Midvalley puts up a 7.
Koenma: What?? I only did that because I thought you thought steamyness is good!! *drops Hiei*
Hiei: GRRRRRRR! *has to be held back by Kurama so he doesn't kill Koenma* Damn it stupid fox let me kill him!
Koenma: AHHH! Don't you want the sweet snow?? *ducks behind his seat*
Host: No killing while the show is in progress! And you can't kiss Hiei! *pouts* it just isn't right...well if it's you
having to do it Koenma..I mean your teen form's cute but...ugh...poor fire demon... Next is Milly and Meryl.
Milly: *somehow found a bowl of pudding and is eating it* mmph?
Meryl: We forfeit.
Host: Ok So next is...Kurama and Karasu!
Karasu: Come on Kurama it'll get us extra points!
Kurama: WHO SAID I WANT EXTRA POINTS??
Karasu: I'm sure I can find out where you live...you have to go to sleep sometimes..Shuichi...
Karuma: DAMN IT! I hate you...How the hell did you find out my human name??
Karasu: I have my ways..now do it!
Karuma: Fine. *pulls out a rose from his hair and puts it in his mouth and now his speech is muffled* maffy?
Karasu: Yes..very happy..
Karasu pulls Kurama out and spins him into a tight embrace. Kurama just looks like he's going to hurl the whole time. Karasu
gropes Kurama a little too much during the dips and of course has his face in his hair almost the whole time.
Karasu: Your so beautiful my lovely Kurama...
Kurama: *spits out the rose and growls* Bite me.
Karasu: Is that an invitation my pet?
Kurama: *punches Karasu away and goes to his seat*
The host holds up a 8 and Midvalley holds up a 10.
Host: Sorry rose boy but you used a rose! I had to boost the points!
Karasu: I was right! HA HA!
Host: Right...well our last team is none other then peace boy and sexy evil laugh man!
Everyone: ????
Host: *sighs* Vash and Knives.
Everyone: OH!
Random Audience Member: Bad guy slut!
Host: *glares and throws a pencil at the audience member* Die!! Wait...get a coma!
Audience Member: *gets hit in the eye and passes out*
Vash: Hey Rem showed us this song once! *looks really happy* Remember?
Knives: If you mention that spider again I'll
Host: DANCE!
Vash and Knives hold on to each other and do a few ballroom spins in time with the music and dance forehead to forehead instead
of cheek to cheek. Knives dips Vash and locks him in a deep kiss. Vash blushes terribly and looks really disturbed.
Vash: KNIVES!! What the hell was that????
Knives: You interrupted my kill the spiders speech 5 times last night. I was teaching you a lesson.
Host and Midvalley blink and look at each other. They both shrug and hold up 10's.
Host: *hands a new red painted pacifier to Knives and Vash* Your our winners! You get the double beds tonight!
Kurama: I'm doomed...
Karasu: YES! I'm actually glad we didn't win! I get to spend at least one more night with you Kurama...*grins*
Kurama: *glares at the host* YOUR the one that's going to need body guards when the game ends.
Hiei: I agree.
Yusuke: Yeah!
everyone else except midvalley: Start your praying now host girl!
Host: *smiles evilly* You'll grow to love it...YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Midvalley: I'm free already, no grudges.
Host: Retreat to your rooms and I suggest you learn about each other because the next safety challenge will be a test of how
well you know you partner!!! Next safety challenge also has a bonus prize of a free...*stares at the note card* FREE BEAT THE
HOST FOR A FULL MINUTE CARD FOR EACH?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Who wrote this???
Jane Mari: Me silly! Hee hee! Now they'll really want to win!
Contestants: *go off to their rooms and start to find out as much as they can about each other*
Host: Well this week the voting choices are:
Kurama and Karasu
Yusuke and Kuwabara
Hiei and Koenma
Botan and Keiko
Milly and Meryl
Legato and Wolfwood
Vash and Knives (IMMUNE THIS ROUND)
Remember the voting starts fresh this round so you can now vote again. And if you think this is just some cheap ploy to get more
reviews then make me feel guilty by writing an email with a vote instead! Suggestions and comments are very welcome!!! Goodnight from...The Yaoi and Yuri Game!
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Long chapter, probably will be the longest...remember to vote and suggest! That's all for now!
adios~
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-
Ale
Authoress's Note: I don't own the anime chararecters. And I replaced last show's announcer Bobby Adam with the spunky hyper
girl Jane Mari! Fear her hyperness...thank goodness the announcer only has a few lines, anyone want her job? Your welcome to
it...
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVELY REVIEWS, SUGGESTIONS, AND ESPECIALLY THE VOTES! They were greatly appreciated (I got so many!
I feel so loved!!!) and they were needed. Why? Because it's your job to vote couple off not mine! The couple that lost in
the voting is....you have to read to find out!
ENJOY!
Random Audience Member: So will this show be any good?
Host/Authoress: *glares* Shiri massen... (japanese is fun! No that's not the translation...)
-------------------------------
Round 2: The first night and day, for lack of a better name...
You see the hostess on a stool dressed up in her all black outfit again smiling at the camera.
Host: I'm your delightful creme filled hostess...
Audience Member: That's the stuff!
Host: AHHH! No not copyright infringement nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem. Anyways to get the show started we're
going to show what happened on the contestant's first night...from our cameras hidden in their room!!! MUAHAHAHA!
Jane Mari: HEE HEE! That's so dirty! Our show is brought to you by Jarritos Jr.! The best soda in the world now made for the
wee iddle widdle babies!
Host: *eye twitches* Must not kill perky one...must remember the damn contract...*growls* ROLL THE BEAUTIFUL FOOTAGE!
The screen goes blank and then you can see the inside of a hotel room. In one corner Midvalley is playing his saxophone very
loudly and in the other Kuroneko is holding it's ears in pain and "nyao"ing.
Midvalley: I'll show you! Never take the complimentary mint again!
Kuroneko: NYAO NYAO NYAO NYAO! *runs up and scratches Midvalley's nose making him stop playing* Nyao.
Midvalley: Damn cat...stupid hostess not finding me a decent partner...*starts grumbling while he goes to the bathroom to
clean his scratches*
The screen fizzles out and shows a different room that has a teen form Koenma bouncing up and down on the bed. Hiei is glaring
at him from his seat on the end of the bed. His eye twitches each time Koenma bounces.
Koenma: WHEEE! Hiei stop being grumpy and try bouncing! It's great fun you'll actually enjoy it! *starts doing flips*
Hiei: Baka royal brat...I thought pacifiers were supposed to shuta baby up not make it talk more. *glares*
Koenma: Er...Hiei I thought when people were shorter they usually were more brighter dispositioned...*keeps bouncing*
Hiei: I AM NOT SHORT! Grrrr...*shows his fangs at Koenma who stops bouncing and sits down in a chair in the hotel room desk*
Koenma: Heh...I'll sleep in this thing tonight then...goodnight Hiei! *pretends to drift off to sleep*
Hiei: Hn. *goes under the covers and actually falls asleep*
Koenma: *very quietly to himself* I'm doomed... -_-;;
The lights go off in their room and now a different hotel room is seen. Kuwabara and Yusuke glaring at each other from the
left and right side of the bed, respectively.
Kuwabara: So if we stay quiet and angry looking like this then they can't pin anything on us?
Yusuke: Idiot! Don't talk until I find that damn hidden camera...If only those damn things had something that stood out on
them.
Kuwabara: Yeah like that thing over there with the blinking red light, *points at the camera* Hey wait a minute...
Yusuke: THE CAMERA! *hugs Kuwabara then lets go of him in disgust* Ugh...*aims his finger at the camera and grins* REI GUN!
The screen goes into a bright flash then blacks out. The next room shows Keiko and Botan playing cards on their bed.
Keiko: Gin! Ha ha! Botan do you really think Yusuke won't do anything with Kuwabara? You did say that you almost got the big
oaf to kiss Yusuke instead of me to bring him back.
Botan: *grins and shuffles the cards* I'm sure he won't do a thing! But I'm still holding my 15 dollar bet on that he and
Kuwabara get it on before round 5.
Keiko: *sweatdrops* Gee your such a reassuring partner...
A few words pop up on the screen, "All else the happens is that Keiko wins 2 more times and Botan 3. Then they go to sleep
on opposite sides of the floor with the bed in between them. They seem that paranoid of Yuri. Hey what's that your holding
Jane Mari? AHHHH! Nooooo don't kill me! I'm just the guy that types up subtitles...ahhhhhhh-" The screen now shows an ice
blue eye staring into it.
Knives: You will all obey Knives...All of you god damn spiders will obey me or die!! *now the camera only shows his mouth*
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Vash: Knives stop fooling around with the camera! You've been doing the whole "why humans should die" speech for 3 hours
already! It's driving me nuts!!
Knives: Really? *looks innocently at Vash*
Vash: Yes...so will you please stop it? Pretty please?
Knives: *scoffs* I'm not listening to you love and peace boy! Don't make me go over there and mess with some of the viewer's
minds with twincest!
Vash: Love and Peace is good! Some of the viewers actually enjoy the twincest thing anyways...*munches on a donut that he got
from a fan girl earlier*
Knives: *sneers* So are you suggesting we do it then little brother?
Vash: Eek! Not in front of the camera! Go back to the speech! I'm going to bed! *dives underneath the covers and whimpers at
the thought of seeing his brother try to seduce him*
Knives: Playing with minds is so entertaining! *glares back into the camera with an evil smile* Now as for you spiders...
*starts going into his why the human race should die speech again*
The camera fizzles out and shows a view of blue hair.
Wolfwood: So with you standing in front of the camera like that then we can't be filmed?
Legato: Exactly chapel...do you feel like manipulating the viewer's thoughts?
Wolfwood: I'm WOLFWOOD...W-O-L-F...wait how would we manipulate their minds?
Legato: By making their thoughts suggest lucid scenes to them.
Wolfwood: Say what? Legato you know that I find your eyes too scary to actually...
Legato: NO CHAPEL! I mean just making them think it! *sigh* Master would of never been this slow...
Wolfwood: Hey! Fine, sounds like an ok idea. *starts saying in a lustful tone* Let your sweet ass wander over this way blue
hair...*you hear him gag slightly at his own words*
Legato: *snickers and adds in an almost moaning voice* Oh! Oooh Wolfwood...what are you doing?
Wolfwood: Making you feel things you never felt before!
Legato: *mumbles* You don't know what me and Knives do when we're bored..
Wolfwood: You've been cheating on me? *sob* How could you Legato Sweetass??
Legato: Idiot. I think we've played with their minds enough...besides I wish to go to sleep. I am not going to stand here all
night. *glares into the camera and the screen goes blank but you can still hear sound* What the fuck are you doing chapel???
Wolfwood: Confessing my love for you! Oh wait we're done? Geez...*you can hear pants zipping up*
Legato: You are very fortunate that I'm not allowed to kill you.
Wolfwood: *lighter lighting* Just don't try to scare me by saying you liked what you saw or anything...*can hear smoking noises*
Legato: Ugh...you and your obscene and foul smoking...*random thudding noises and a flushing noise*
Wolfwood: YOU FLUSHED MY CIGARETTES?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHH!
The screen shows Milly and Meryl with their own blankets on the bed.
Milly: Goodnight Meryl!
Meryl: Night Milly...
Milly: Meryl?
Meryl: What??
Milly: We don't actually have to do that Yuri stuff do we? I really don't want to...the pudding was nice though!
Meryl: What does pudding have to do with Yuri? Hopefully your pudding obsession and my work obsession will get us voted off
before we have to do any of that though.
Milly: Oh ok! Goodnight Sempai!
Meryl: Goodnight.
Milly: Sweet dreams!
Meryl: ok...
Milly: Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Meryl: ....
Milly: Hope the sandman comes and...
Meryl: Milly shut up and go to bed!
Milly: *grins* Ok sempai!
New room shows up and it has two beds and two blurs run past it.
Karasu: Come on Kurama...It won't hurt to let me sleep by your side...*pops up behind Kurama and nuzzles his hair*
Kurama: BAKA! *zaps Karasu with the cattle prod and runs to the other side of the room* Don't step near me or I'll zap you
into a coma!! *backs up to a wall and holds the cattle prod out in front of him*
Karasu: Oooh...I like it when you play rough Kurama...
Kurama: What? Awe...god...*looks queasy and clutches his stomach*
Karasu: Is my beautiful love feeling sick? Here let me come over and help you...*leaps up to ponce on Kurama*
Kurama: *zaps Karasu at full power...(for the sake of the story cattle prods have different power levels* in mid air* There
not a coma..but it will do for now...*goes into his bed and makes a thorny plant wall with one of the seeds from his hair
around him* Ahh...peace and quiet and no psychopath trying to molest me...*goes to sleep*
Karasu: *coughs out a puff of smoke* Ow...Don't worry my pet I'll get you yet...*blinks and blows up the ice bucket in the room*
Stupid show made me rhyme!! I can't even kill him what was the point of sabotaging the hostess's cards???
The camera fizzles out and the set with all the loveseats and the armchair in the center is shown but with one less loveseat.
Host: Well...not too much steamyness..*sigh of dissapointment* And something very mysterious has happened to our subtitle
typer dude. Very mysterious indeed...
Audience Member: It was the announcer girl! Jane Mari! She did it!! Huh? AHHHH!!! *The audience member dissapears*
Host: *blinks* um...I didn't catch that but I guess he had to go to the little boy's room or something since he's not there.
Jane Mari: YES! That must be it! HEE HEE HEE! *hides a glowing wand looking thing behind her back and tosses her hair*
Host: Ugh...well I have to go and tell the losers of this round that it's time for them to leave. *scene goes blank and
opens up again so that you see the host in front of a hall of hotel rooms* Time to wake up the losers! *walks down to a door
and knocks on it* Rise and shine Midvalley and creepy cat!
Midvalley: *grogily opens the door and groans out with barely open eyes* It's 5 in the damn morning...
Host: Really? *checks watch* oops! Should'nt of let it go in water huh? Well I have some bad news Midvalley...
Midvalley: I'm going to be forced into commiting Beastality aren't I?
Host: *blinks* UGH! No! You and you partner are round 1's losing couple and now you two can go on your seperate ways...
Midvalley: I'm...I'm free???
Host: Er...that's one way to put it I suppose, you now can be in the audience for free as a consolation prize though!
Midvalley: I'M FREE! NO MORE GIANT EVIL GREEN EYES! WAHAHAHA! Thank you...*hugs the host and runs back and forth in the hall
yelling for joy*
Host: Make sure to thank the people who voted you out! They gave you such kawaii nick names! Middie, Middy, Middy-kun...so
adorable!
Midvalley: I owe them! FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *goes to personally thank those who voted him off*
Kuroneko: Nyao?
Host: Out demonic cat out!
Kuroneko: Nyao..
Host: Why do I even try? -_-;; Well back to the studio where in a few minutes the contestants will be playing their second
safety challenge! I hope Karasu didn't loose the pacifier...
The camera fades out and fades back into the studio set showing all the contestants there. Some of them notice the missing
couple and loveseat.
Vash: Where's Midvalley and Kuroneko? *looks under the seat cushions of the loveseat him and Knives are sharing*
Knives: *whacks Vash on the head* my cushion! Besides the cat is gone. Be happy inept little brother.
Vash: We're twins! How can I be the little brother???
Knives: I'm taller so there. *sticks his tongue out*
Host: I'm glad to see that your all still alive! *laughs nervously at the blank stares she gets in response* So the question
of the day...
Botan: Is there a quiz? Oh my, you never mentioned that!!
Kuwabara and Yusuke: QUIZ?!?!!??! *look around nervously for teachers*
Host: No it's just one question all of you answer, *clears throat* So today it is...Are any of you feeling sore?
Karasu: *looks like he's covered in ash and coughs out a puff of smoke* Yes...
Kurama: *holds on to the cattle prod for dear life* That's why you listen to me when I tell you to stop trying to grope me!
Jane Mari: *bounces in and grabs the cattle prod* Sorry but we have to save this for today's safety challenge winner! *sings
a song from sesame street as she skips off stage* LA LA LA LA...LA LA LA LA...elmo's world! hee hee!
Host: *twitches* Can't kill the perky one...musn't kill...
Kurama: O_O...get the bombing maniac away from me! *dives behind the host's armchair as Karasu lunges for him*
Karasu: Dear Kurama I just want to proove my love for you my beautiful Kurama...*smiles wickedly*
Koenma: Don't you kill the ones you love Karasu?
Karasu: Yes...
Koenma: *one of the only ones not staring wide eyed at Karasu* And didn't you sign a contract for getting on this show?
Karasu: *grumbles* Yes, don't worry my beautiful kitsune I SHALL find a loop hole.
Kurama: *shoots daggers with his eyes at Karasu and bows at Koenma* Thank Lord Koenma.
Host: All of you still have quite a few rounds to last still...
Legato: I should kill you and destroy this set leaving no trace of you or your idiotic contracts!
Host: *hands Legato a hot dog* So any of you?
Vash: Me!
Everyone except Vash and Knives: O_o
Vash: AHH! No not that way! Knives kept whacking on the head with the stale bread we got this morning for breakfast.
Legato: *says in between mouthfuls of hot dog* Master getting stale bread? *gasps and starts choking on the hot dog*
Wolfwood: Partner! *does the heimlich manuever on Legato* I want to win those body guards at the end!
Host: You're coupling was the second highest in votes to get kicked off...
Wolfwood: I could of let the blue haired bastard die??? Now you tell me..*mutters curses too foul for PG-13 under his breath*
Legato: Why does saving someone from choking look like your humping them too?
Keiko: Pervert! Your worse than Yusuke!
Yusuke: Thanks Keiko! By the way your uniform looks really NICE today...*raises his eyebrows up and down at Keiko*
Keiko: Yusuke you beast! *delivers one of her ultra powerful slaps of doom and Yusuke crawls back to the loveseat after landing
on the other side of the studio*
Kuwabara: HA HA! Urameshi got beat up by a girl!
Yusuke: Shut up Kazuma or I'll put you in the pain I'm in.
Host: Well the safety challenge today is...Karasu I need the pacifier back by the way
Karasu: I blew it up.
Milly: The poor pacifier!! *looks like she's about to cry*
Host: *sighs* FINE! Well today's challenge either way is *snaps fingers and the lights go out then a spotlight shines on the
host who's starting to click castenets and look melodramatic* THE DANCE OF THE....TANGO!!!
Meryl: Isn't tang that orange juice powder?
Kurama: Tango is a very dramatic dance...you know those ones where the couple is dancing cheek to cheek and then one dips the
other in time to the music? Wait...Oh no! Please don't make me do that!!! Not with HIM! *points angrily at a grinning Karasu*
Hiei: Hn. I'm not doing some baka ningen dance.
Koenma: Come on Hiei be a sport! I want to last a while on this show...I have a bet with George. AND I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY
PA PA!
Yusuke: HA! Can take the toddler and put it into a teen's body but can't take the toddler out of the teen! Pacifier boy!
Koenma: *growls* Hush Yusuke Urameshi. I'll buy you three rounds of sweet snow Hiei!
Hiei: Sweet snow? *eyes light up* Make it 5...
Koenma: Deal!
Host: Now to show the judges...me...and...oh! I know! Yo saxophone boy! Want to be a judge?
Midvalley: *walks onto the set* Do I get to hold up those number cards?
Host: Yup! *brings out two sets of number cards from 0 to 10 and gives one to herself and one to Midvalley* Let the games begin!
Cue the music and our first dancing pair is...Keiko and Botan!
Keiko and Botan: Um...*they both shrug and do the Tango but only holding hands and being an arm's distance apart from each other*
Botan: All done! ^_^
The host and Midvalley both hold up 2's.
Keiko: Oh well, I think I want to get kicked out anyways. I don't go for girls...
Yusuke: Yeah you go for manly men like me! *grins*
Keiko: YUSUKE! *slap o' dooms him again and goes back to her seat fuming*
Host: Well now up is Legato and Wolfwood! Legato put the hot dog down you can finish it after your dance.
Legato and Wolfwood actually Tango and dance cheek to cheek. Instead of a rose in his mouth (like most of one of the people
doing the tango do) he has a pixi stick. Wolfwood grabs his butt and Legato glares and slams him to the ground.
Legato: What the hell was that Chapel?? *chomps down his pixi stick angrily* (A/N: What?? How can you eat those sugary sticks
of goodness in anger??!?!?!) The Tango does not include a groping of the hiney region...
Wolfwood: Did you just say hiney?
Legato: *glares* Of course not!
Midvalley holds up a 10 and tries to hold back his snickering and the host holds up an 8.
Host: If you two got a little more steamy maybe I would of given you a better score...next up is Yusuke and Kuwabara!
Yusuke and Kuwabara Tango extremely close to each other and almost seem to be grinding their hips together as they dance cheek
to cheek. Yusuke almost hits Kuwabara's head on the floor when he dips him.
Yusuke: God! You weight a ton Kuwabara!
Kuwabara: Hmph! I am not fat! *crosses his arms and pouts*
Midvalley holds up a 6 but the host holds up a 10.
Host: I felt sorry for Yusuke for having to dance with the big oaf...Next is Koenma and Hiei!
Koenma almost sweeps Hiei off his feet and has to carry the slightly shorter demon to get him to actually dance. Koenma
sweatdrops and gives Hiei a peck on the cheek.
The host stares in shock and puts up a 3 and Midvalley puts up a 7.
Koenma: What?? I only did that because I thought you thought steamyness is good!! *drops Hiei*
Hiei: GRRRRRRR! *has to be held back by Kurama so he doesn't kill Koenma* Damn it stupid fox let me kill him!
Koenma: AHHH! Don't you want the sweet snow?? *ducks behind his seat*
Host: No killing while the show is in progress! And you can't kiss Hiei! *pouts* it just isn't right...well if it's you
having to do it Koenma..I mean your teen form's cute but...ugh...poor fire demon... Next is Milly and Meryl.
Milly: *somehow found a bowl of pudding and is eating it* mmph?
Meryl: We forfeit.
Host: Ok So next is...Kurama and Karasu!
Karasu: Come on Kurama it'll get us extra points!
Kurama: WHO SAID I WANT EXTRA POINTS??
Karasu: I'm sure I can find out where you live...you have to go to sleep sometimes..Shuichi...
Karuma: DAMN IT! I hate you...How the hell did you find out my human name??
Karasu: I have my ways..now do it!
Karuma: Fine. *pulls out a rose from his hair and puts it in his mouth and now his speech is muffled* maffy?
Karasu: Yes..very happy..
Karasu pulls Kurama out and spins him into a tight embrace. Kurama just looks like he's going to hurl the whole time. Karasu
gropes Kurama a little too much during the dips and of course has his face in his hair almost the whole time.
Karasu: Your so beautiful my lovely Kurama...
Kurama: *spits out the rose and growls* Bite me.
Karasu: Is that an invitation my pet?
Kurama: *punches Karasu away and goes to his seat*
The host holds up a 8 and Midvalley holds up a 10.
Host: Sorry rose boy but you used a rose! I had to boost the points!
Karasu: I was right! HA HA!
Host: Right...well our last team is none other then peace boy and sexy evil laugh man!
Everyone: ????
Host: *sighs* Vash and Knives.
Everyone: OH!
Random Audience Member: Bad guy slut!
Host: *glares and throws a pencil at the audience member* Die!! Wait...get a coma!
Audience Member: *gets hit in the eye and passes out*
Vash: Hey Rem showed us this song once! *looks really happy* Remember?
Knives: If you mention that spider again I'll
Host: DANCE!
Vash and Knives hold on to each other and do a few ballroom spins in time with the music and dance forehead to forehead instead
of cheek to cheek. Knives dips Vash and locks him in a deep kiss. Vash blushes terribly and looks really disturbed.
Vash: KNIVES!! What the hell was that????
Knives: You interrupted my kill the spiders speech 5 times last night. I was teaching you a lesson.
Host and Midvalley blink and look at each other. They both shrug and hold up 10's.
Host: *hands a new red painted pacifier to Knives and Vash* Your our winners! You get the double beds tonight!
Kurama: I'm doomed...
Karasu: YES! I'm actually glad we didn't win! I get to spend at least one more night with you Kurama...*grins*
Kurama: *glares at the host* YOUR the one that's going to need body guards when the game ends.
Hiei: I agree.
Yusuke: Yeah!
everyone else except midvalley: Start your praying now host girl!
Host: *smiles evilly* You'll grow to love it...YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Midvalley: I'm free already, no grudges.
Host: Retreat to your rooms and I suggest you learn about each other because the next safety challenge will be a test of how
well you know you partner!!! Next safety challenge also has a bonus prize of a free...*stares at the note card* FREE BEAT THE
HOST FOR A FULL MINUTE CARD FOR EACH?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Who wrote this???
Jane Mari: Me silly! Hee hee! Now they'll really want to win!
Contestants: *go off to their rooms and start to find out as much as they can about each other*
Host: Well this week the voting choices are:
Kurama and Karasu
Yusuke and Kuwabara
Hiei and Koenma
Botan and Keiko
Milly and Meryl
Legato and Wolfwood
Vash and Knives (IMMUNE THIS ROUND)
Remember the voting starts fresh this round so you can now vote again. And if you think this is just some cheap ploy to get more
reviews then make me feel guilty by writing an email with a vote instead! Suggestions and comments are very welcome!!! Goodnight from...The Yaoi and Yuri Game!
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Long chapter, probably will be the longest...remember to vote and suggest! That's all for now!
adios~
-Love Peace and Mushrooms-
Ale