To
Arms!
Summary: Ash and Misty find themselves embroiled in a vicious, bloody, drawn-out…practical joke war?
A/N: Thanks again to everyone who reviewed; it makes me feel like this isn't just a gigantic waste of my time. I mean, I'd do it even if I didn't get any response at all, but, ya know, it's such a great perk.
This chapter is dedicated to Metal Mewtwo, who remains my favorite reviewer! Merci pour tout! (Thanks for everything!)
I have officially become the shout-out whore! g
One last note—though, as usual, this chapter does deal with humor on the whole, there is some criminal sappiness towards the end.
Disclaimer: see chpt. 1
----------
Ash whistled a jaunty little tune as he slung the fluffy pink towel over his shoulder and headed to the bathroom, shooting a cocky smirk at Misty as he passed her in the hallway. "I take it you found my little surprise in your pajamas last night?" he called over his shoulder, not bothering to suppress his self-congratulatory grin.
"As a matter of fact, I did," Misty responded in an eerily calm tone, a rather frightening smile slowly spreading across her face. "Have fun with your shower." With that maddening grin still in place, she retreated back into her room.
Now I know she's up to something, Ash thought warily as his bare feet met the cool tile of the bathroom floor. But what? He made a great effort to inspect every square inch of the bathroom, trying desperately to interpret Misty's far-too-innocent comment. But try as he might, he could find nothing; she hadn't attempted to return his first trick and had left all the towels in the bathroom, she hadn't coated the tub with Vaseline so he'd unceremoniously fall flat on his ass, and she hadn't drilled a hole in the door to keep it from closing or locking properly.
"Maybe I'm just being paranoid," he muttered aloud, shedding his clothing and stepping into the shower. He carefully observed the temperature gauge. "Well, she didn't switch the labels; hot is still hot and cold is still cold." Ash reached up and firmly grasped the shower head. "And she didn't loosen this, either." He slowly scanned the bathroom one last time before drawing the shower curtain closed and starting the water. "Now for a nice, relaxing—"
Ash let out a sharp cry as he realized that the water rushing out was blue. "Oh, shit!" he swore, reaching over and cutting off the water. He groaned a little as he observed the blue liquid snaking over his entire body, staining his skin. "What is this stuff? Wait…" He reached up and, with one swift, fluid motion, pulled the shower head off, his eyes widening as he observed a small mound of partially-coagulated blue Kool-Aid resting within it.
---------
'Out grocery shopping. Be back in about an hour. Try not to kill each other. --Brock'
Misty frowned at the scrawled Post-It message on the fridge. "Great; guess I have to make my own lunch," she said with a sigh, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out a small vacuum-pack of tuna.
"MISTY!"
She didn't even bother to hide her ear-to-ear grin as she heard Ash's furious cry. Nonchalantly turning to face the towel-clad, blue-streaked man before her, she simply said, "Consider this payback for the shaving cream incident."
"Goddamn it, Misty, I'm blue, and sticky, and I smell like some kind of weird blueberry concoction! This is disgusting!"
"Maybe if you weren't so immature we could've made up yesterday and called a truce!" she snapped back, crossing her arms indignantly across her chest. "But no, you have to make a complete ass out of yourself and actually have the nerve to blame this whole thing on me!"
"That's enough!" Ash growled, rushing over and angrily grabbing her by the arms. "You know why this war started? You really wanna know?"
"I know perfectly well why!" Misty said, matching his ferocity. "You're an idiot!"
"Damn it!" he swore, pushing her up against the wall. "Stop being so goddamned stubborn, Mist!"
Silence permeated the room for a few moments, broken only by the heavy breathing of the two figures in a rather strange embrace, shooting deadly glares at each other.
The fury in Misty's eyes calmed a bit, replaced by what seemed to be curiosity. She gingerly reached out and drew her fingers across the blue streaks on his muscled chest. "Maybe it has gotten a bit out of hand…" she whispered in a voice that she barely recognized as her own. Their current position—Ash's arms were pinning her lithe frame to the wall—seemed to have ignited some long-suppressed desire in her.
Ash gulped audibly as he felt Misty's fingers brush against his skin. What is she doing? he thought incredulously. The logical part of his mind was shouting at him to pull away, but his emotions seemed to have complete control over his movement, for he remained still.
Was it possible? Could she possibly return those feelings that he had successfully kept hidden for over five years? "Misty…" he choked, his voice catching and his throat constricting, preventing him from saying anything more.
At the sound of her name, Misty retracted her fingers and stared up at the inquisitive dark brown eyes observing her intently. "Uh…Ash?" she asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"
Only one way to find out, he thought, bracing himself and taking a deep breath.
"Ash? What are you…" Misty felt her breath leave her in a whoosh of air as she realized that Ash had closed his eyes and was leaning in towards her. She was a bit surprised to feel her heart pounding; was he actually attempting to do what she thought he was? Stop trying to logic it out and enjoy it, her mind advised. Smiling faintly, Misty's own eyes fell shut as she felt Ash's breath brush against her lips—
"Hey! I knew you guys would get to this eventually!"
The two flew apart as quickly as if they'd been struck by lightning, both blushing furiously at the interruption—a grinning Brock with both arms full of grocery bags. "Hope I didn't come in right before something…important," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Ash and Misty slowly looked at each other, then turned away, blushing two shades darker.
"I…uh…have to go get cleaned up," Ash stammered, trying to wipe the blue streaks from his arms. He scowled at the still-grinning-like-an-idiot-Brock. Time to put the mask back on, he thought inwardly. "Misty hasn't strayed very far from her 'crazy bitch' routine; she put blue Kool-Aid mix in the shower head before I got in." He spread his arms so Brock could see the dried trails of the blue liquid across his body. "As you can see, it worked pretty well."
"'Crazy bitch'?!" Misty shouted indignantly, reaching over and whapping him over the head with the tuna packet she had left on the counter. "You're forgetting that at the moment this 'crazy bitch' is the executor of the last trick! I'm winning!"
"Like hell! This isn't over yet!"
"Bring it on, Ashy-boy!"
Brock raised an eyebrow curiously as his two companions were once again thrust headlong into another vicious argument. Was it just his imagination, or had they been dangerously close to a passionate liplock when he had walked in? Shaking his head, he began to unload the groceries. Oh, well. Maybe one day they'll learn…
"Is eighteen your age or your IQ?!"
"Oh, real original, Misty! Did Psyduck help you come up with that one?"
Then again…
----------
I almost kissed her.
I, Ash Ketchum, almost kissed Misty Waterflower—my best friend of eight years.
Dammit, Brock, your timing really sucks, you know that?
Ash stared blankly at the ceiling from his lazed position on his bed. So close, he thought with a small frown. I'll never be that close again.
He and Misty hadn't spoken since the rather confusing incident earlier that day; she spent the day reading some crappy Harlequin romance novel, and he finally completed some long-put-off paperwork for the Pokemon League.
"I'm winning!"
The memory of Misty's bold declaration came back to him in a flash. That's right, he reminded himself. This is war. You can't allow emotions to get in the way of a potential victory. As much as he cared for Misty, Ash found himself unable to surrender his pride and concede defeat.
Suddenly, it came to him—the ultimate way to pay Misty back for that humiliation earlier! Grinning to himself, Ash leapt out of bed and silently gathered some of the extra Pokeballs he kept in his room. "It's payback time, Mist," he whispered, tugging on his official Pokemon Master jacket. Casting a glance at the wall that separated himself from the impossibly infuriating redhead in the neighboring room, Ash felt a slight twinge in his heart.
For a fleeting moment, he could almost imagine what it would feel like to have his lips on hers.
Shaking his head, he began to pull on his favorite sneakers but let out a strangled cry as he felt some kind of strange substance in them. Ash growled low in his throat as he pulled out his left foot to see it coated in a thick layer of peanut butter. She put peanut butter in my favorite shoes! he fumed silently. Well, at least I don't have to feel guilty about this anymore. Quickly changing his socks and shoes, Ash slipped downstairs and silently made his way out of the house.
He had some bugs to catch.
----------
The silent figure cloaked in the shadows by the door watched him go. Chuckling softly, she tossed her loose red hair over her shoulders and slid the deadbolt into place. "Goodnight, Ash," she said wickedly, laughing as she headed back up to her room for the night.
----------
And so we return to the beginning! The allusion to peanut butter and insects is, as most of you will probably notice, a throwback to the first few paragraphs of Chapter One. Everything's beginning to come full circle.
In case anyone's curious, yes, I have done the Kool-Aid trick myself; the victim was my elder sister. It worked incredibly well, if I may say so, but, alas, my mother failed to see the humor in the situation and grounded me for a month.
I'd also like to note that I the reference to Misty reading a Harlequin romance novel is kind of a dig at the scene between Ash and her in the kitchen; I kept thinking, "Ah, geez, is this sappy or what?" as I was writing it. Maybe in the next chapter I'll work in the phrase "bodice-ripping".
C&C welcome. R&R. (Hooray for ampersands!)