Erika heard a knock at the door, and Sophie barged into the dorm. "Erika?" she said. "Time for group."
"I don't care."
Sophie sat down beside Erika on her bunk. "I know it's your first day and it's hard adjusting to a new situation, but you should care. You don't want to meet the other cliffhangers?"
"I've already met more of them then I would have cared to."
"And why's that?"
"Can't relate."
"I think you could relate more than you know. They've all gone through rough first days."
"Not just that."
"They're all here for a reason you know. Come on, get acquainted with them. Give it a chance."
"Why the hell do they care?"
"Are you adjusting alright?"
"Do you think I need a fucking babysitter?" she didn't bother to conceal the irritation in her voice.
"You should watch your language," Sophie warned seriously.
"And if I don't?" Erika challenged.
"Peter would be more than happy to put you on kitchen duties."
"That's one of the chores right?"
"Yes. You have to learn to abide by the rules here, or you won't last very long."
"I abide by my own rules."
"Maybe you did at home. But here you don't have a choice."
Erika eventually rose, reluctantly, and, accompanied by Sophie, left for 'Group'.
"As you know, Cliffhangers, we have a new member. This is Erika." Peter introduced to the Cliffhangers. "To get to know each other, pass the staff and when you receive it, tell Eriika your name and why you're here, or something about yourself."
Peter tossed the staff to Kat. She said to Erika, "My name's Kat, but you already know that. I'll be graduating from this place in a few months." Katharine tossed the staff to Juliette.
Juliette caught the staff and said, "I'm Juliette Waybourne, and I'm here because I was a binge-purge and cutting queen. Other stuff too, but anyways," She passed it to Auggie.
"My name's Auggie," he said as he caught the staff, "ended up here cuz of being in a gang and stuff and had the choice between juvie and here." He threw it to Scott, who caught it easily.
"I'm Scott Barringer, and I'm into football."
"Understatement of the year," quipped Daisy. Scott grinned and tossed it to her.
"My name's Daisy Lipenowski, I'm here because my parents are alcoholics, and I vented my anger on my father with a seven-iron, who was disenchanted with life and abusive." Daisy passed it to Shelby.
"Shelby Merrick," she began, "and one thing about me is that I don't share my past." Sheby tossed it to Ezra.
"I'm Ezra Friedkin, that's Friedkin, and I'm here because I had a thing for drugs, among other things." Ezra tossed it to the last remaining member of the Cliffhangers, Erika.
Erika caught the staff with ease. "Let's see," she began. "My name is Erika Lavalier and the last place I want to be is here, now." she threw the staff and her words to Peter.
"Something about yourself?" Sophie reminded Erika.
"That was something about myself."
"And why is that?" Peter pressed.
"Why do you think?"
"You tell me."
"You've not going to get anything out of me."
"And why is that?"
"You're wasting your time."
"Peter, give it up," Shelby put in.
Peter sighed, exasperated. "Well do you like sports, because Cliffhangers, we have a soccer match against the Ridge-runners scheduled for this afternoon. What do you think about that, Erika?"
"We're not going to lose. I don't lose. That's what I think."
"Competitive spirit," observed Scott, grinning. "I like her already," he continued.
"Another Scott, just what we need," quipped Daisy. The others chuckled. Scott always had to win, and this girl's attitude seemed to resemble Scott's.
"Do you play sports?" Scott asked Erika.
"You bet I do," was her reply.
"Football?" he asked.
"Yeah, some."
"What else do you play?" Juliette questioned, trying to be friendly.
"Why the hell do you care?"
Juliette shrugged. "Just wondering."
"Before I was thrown off the teams, competitive soccer and track."
"Cool."
"Yeah, whatever."
Peter interrupted the group. "One last thing, and then you can go. Finish this sentence: I feel.. Erika?"
"I don't feel."
Peter looked at the girl, wondering if she was serious. "And why is that?" he asked.
She fed him a blank stare, as if to reaffirm what she had just stated. How could they possibly understand, she thought, how could they possibly..
"Erika?" said Peter, concerned.
"You look so pathetic," Erika said, amused. "Why won't you just give up? I'm not going to change, not for you, not for anyone."
"I don't quit, and I refuse to lose hope for someone who might just need it," he replied.
"I don't need hope. I don't need anything."
"And what makes you think that?"
"I desensitized myself. When you feel.. You invite someone to hurt you." Erika stated, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.
"And so you just desensitized yourself like that, huh?" Daisy interrupted. "Decided one day, I don't feel like feeling anymore and all of a sudden you went numb. Right."
"You don't feel nothin'," Auggie said, "you might as well be dead."
Shelby said nothing, just staring at the girl that, in so many ways, was exactly like her.
Erika met their gazes defiantly.
"Is there a point of living, if you can't feel?" Juliette reflected.
"Well that would pretty much defeat the purpose," replied Daisy.
Peter saw a reflective expression on Ezra's countenance. "Ezra, your thoughts?" he said.
Ezra looked around, as if searching for the right words. "I don't think anyone can't feel.. Unless their paralysed or something like that, but I think sometimes we don't want to feel."
"Like you as you were going through the janitors closet?" Shelby put in sarcastically.
"Yeah."
"You thought that as you were sniffing those chemicals in there, all your initial problems would disappear," stated Daisy. "But they didn't, did they?"
"Maybe they did," said Scott. He subsequently grinned. "you know, for a few hours."
"But then he acquired a whole set of new ones."
Peter interrupted the debate. "Okay group, you're dismissed," he said.
The group vacated from the room, and Peter made his way back to his office.