Long Author's Note:



Hey y'all.. Okay, first of all I've got a few reviewers to address! (Thanks for reviewing btw.. I appreciate it so much.)

I'd actually advise my normal readers to read my responses, these are good questions asked and my answers will probably aid a lot of people's comprehension of this craziness of a story, maybe even add some more depth.



Emma Morgan wrote: Okay, first of all, i'm gonna say that i love your story. but then, i want to ask this: do you honestly think you're being realistic about two things: Peter, and Shelby?rnfirst, why on earth would Peter be thinking of this situation the way he is, and why would he be so willing to send scott off. don't you remember in "because i love you" he was so opposed to martin taking scott away.rnsecond, never in a million years, would shelby even think about saying that she didn't love scott... that was kinda unrealistic.rnthird, i'm so confused about something. where is SOPHIE? lol, i haven't read the beginning of this story in a long time, but i don't remember anything happening to her.



Here's what I have to say:



Alright, this might take a while to answer fully, but it's really quite simple..

1- Peter. See, there was a reason why the whole incident with S&S getting caught out at the docks and whatever happened. Peter doesn't discourage bonding, but he sees this happening, and to him, it's unsettling. He's frustrated. He thinks that they're taking it too far, and he's kind of torn as to what to do. He doesn't want to separate them forever, because they've healed together. But keeping them together, and them continuing on like they are, to him isn't an option, they're braking too many rules, Horizon is a place to get back on track, not a place to get emotionally and physically attached to someone, only to be separated from them when graduation comes around. Suddenly, Scott's dad calls him up, and new possibilities emerge. This whole situation can be solved. He reasons, you know, Scott's doing alright, he might still have a shot at the scholarship, why not let him go, even if it means scheming a little bit because of his (Scott's) strong attachment. Peter didn't think Scott was ready to go home at the end of the initial HG series, but in mine, time has since passed, and he wants what's best for Scott, and in his eyes, that's football, not Shelby. That's how I see it..

2- Shelby. I can see where you're coming from, she loves Scott more than the world and it's hard for her to conceive letting him go, especially after he came back, turned down a scholarship for her, let alone convince him that she doesn't love him. She told him to go on with his life, because he could, in the last episode of the series. She's very realistic-minded, where as Scott isn't, really. She knows this is about his future. Obviously it's important, she walks in Peter's office, to find Scott's dad desperate to save his son's future. Why wouldn't she consider it, let alone think about it? It's about Scott's future, and since Scott doesn't have much sense of reality, she kind of feels like it's all fallen on her, she can't talk to Scott seriously about it, because he won't even consider it. To him, there's only one reality, and it's not even the 'real world', so she feels like she has to be strong for both of them. He has this perception that it'll all work out regardless, that they can always make it work. Shelby knows better, so is it really that inconceivable that she'd think about it?

Now, about Sophie.. Dunno, I guess I forgot about her. Nothing's happened to her, she's just not important at the point that I've reached in the story. That's all there is to that.

Thanks, and I hope that explained things more clearly and directly.







Midnight-Sky wrote: Hm...it's kinda like the movie "Moulin Rouge," when Nicole Kidman's character has to convince Ewan McGregor's character that she does't love him, but she really does...but I like it anyway :p

My reply..

That's exactly it. The whole plot thing with S&S at this point in the story, as I've described in a previous Author's note, is a thorough mix of Moulin Rouge and The Replacements. The Replacements is all about second chances for football athletes, Moulin Rouge, about unlikely love that is doomed for failure. I think I watched both movies one after the other in the context of days, and I was writing Higher Ground fanfiction, didn't have a clue what to do with the story I was writing, and a light bulb just turned on in my head or something, lol. It's not the most original thing, since I drew obvious inspiration from such great movies, but I think that when you write stories, you do draw a lot of inspiration from your world, it's amazing sometimes to look back on stories, and then realize so clearly where you drew inspiration from to write that. I don't really think there's such thing as new stories- only old stories told in different ways, and I haven't seen HG fanfiction like the moulin rouge/replacements mix, so here's my contribution. It's almost like there's two different, separate stories, the whole thing with Erika, and then all of this other stuff, but I've made it so that it all intertwines in the end. I really want to rewrite the first, oh, 20 or so chapters, but lol, I don't think I can do that just yet. I want to move forward with this story, not backwards. I can backtrack when I'm done.



To everyone:

Please keep an open mind when you read this next chapter, and know that I am a die-hard S&S fan myself, and although I drew certain plot points from Moulin Rouge, my story doesn't share its ending. Not even close. I can guarantee that much, and I can also say that how it will all tie up in the end will probably be surprising, but it's all going to work out, I promise..

:) thanks..~





It was early morning at Horizon. A tired figure seemed to be the only one awake at this hour, wandering aimlessly.

Shelby traversed the campus to be alone with her thoughts, in an effort to sort them out. Her mind was painfully alive, more than aware of the decision burdening her shoulders, but her body was tired from lack of sleep. There had been no way that she could have found sleep with such a decision weighing so heavily on her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

Scott was essentially all that she had here, really. All that she had in the world, and he often filled her thoughts. His chiselled face, that breathtaking smile that made her weak in the knees. The way he almost always knew the right thing to say. The way he looked at her, those gorgeous eyes. His warmth.

Now, he was all that filled her thoughts. Him, and that damn decision that had fallen upon her.

Scott's future depended on her decision, on her. She knew that she wouldn't forgive herself if she chose the wrong thing. She might spend a lifetime regretting it. She had true love, and was more than aware of it, and the thought of losing it, of never seeing Scott again was the worst thing she could imagine.

But was that just being selfish? Of course she wanted Scott for herself. But what about Scott? She knew that he loved her, he told her as often as he could, and he had chosen her over a scholarship once before. But had that really been the right decision? She had thought so, he had thoughts so, but now she couldn't help but wonder.

Love, especially teenaged love, didn't always last forever. Didn't always end a fairytale ending. What if they didn't last in the real world? What if they didn't stand a chance? Then, would he forever regret choosing her over a scholarship?

Thinking about it was almost too much to bear. Such painful thoughts, but she had to think them through. She so desperately wanted to make the right decision.

All the while knowing, so painfully aware that whichever decision she came to would cause her heartbreak. Her decision was a double edged sword, but she didn't have a choice.

She continued wandering around the campus, hopelessly lost in thought, drowning in her own thoughts.





Shelby sat down, leaning against a solid oak tree, and put her head in her hands. She was determined to think this all through, to come to the right decision.

But it came increasingly evident that she couldn't do it alone.



Shelby returned to the girls dorm, and walked inside. It was still, untouched since she was last here. The rows of beds were filled with students, eager for every minute of sleep they could possibly have before the sun rose and morning chores and classes began.

Shelby plopped down onto Daisy's bunk, which caused Daisy to stir, and awaken. Daisy rubbed her eyes open, to find Shelby before her, desperation and confusion in her eyes. It was obvious that Shelby wanted help of some sort.

"Daisy?" Shelby asked.

"Yeah? What do you want?" Daisy asked.

"I need some.. advice."

Daisy sat upright, trying to give Shelby her full attention as well as she could so early in the morning. "Well," Daisy replied, "you came to the right person. I'm listening."

"It's about Scott," Shelby continued. "He has a second chance."

"But you're torn about it," Daisy replied knowingly, "you don't know what to do."

Shelby gave her a look, which prompted Daisy to say, "You know it's in the cards. But anyways, go on."

"It's basically all fallen upon me."

"Well of course it has," came Daisy's familiar cynical reply.

"He has another shot at the scholarship, but he won't go because of me.." Shelby began.

Daisy held Shelby's uncertain gaze. "Shelby," she stated.

"Yeah."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want Scott to stay here with me, of course," Shelby replied. "Forever, if I could have it."

Daisy's facial expression didn't change. "But what to do you need to do?"

"I don't know. Get Scott out of here, convince him to go on with his life."

"Are you sure?" came Daisy's mysterious reply.

"I don't know, dammit," Shelby said. "That's why I'm asking you what to do."

Daisy looked at her seriously. "What is your heart telling you?"

Shelby had to look away. Tears were welling up in her eyes, because she knew what her heart wanted so clearly, but it seemed to her to not matter. "My heart loves Scott more than the world, he's all that I have. I love him.. so much, and I never want that feeling to go away."

Daisy's face was unreadable. "Love doesn't go away, Shelby. It'll only go away if you forget.. you keep it in memory, you keep it alive."

Shelby turned to her. "So what should I do?" she asked outright.

"I can't tell you what to do," Daisy said patiently, "do what you think is right. But you know, if you love him, you'll let him go. Do you know that quote? Do you know how it ends?"

The statement startled Shelby. She scrutinized her friend's face, but found that it was still unreadable.

Shelby pulled herself off of Daisy's bunk, and darted from the dorm, Daisy watching after her, unsurprised.

Shelby only made it out of the dorm, when tears started flooding from her eyes. All her life, she'd had it hard. When she had finally gained something, something amazing, it seemed everyone, even her best friend was urging her to let go of it. But to do so would destroy her.

She needed Scott, desperately still. He'd shown her love like she'd never known it to be, like hell she was going to let go of him.

What's with this, she pondered, is everyone against me?

Is happiness really too much to ask?



Amber stared up at the ceiling, lying on her bunk idly, one man occupying her thoughts. Scott's going to be mine someday, she thought.

Those eyes, that winning smile, he was perfect in her mind. She scarcely knew him, although she had convinced herself that it was otherwise.

As if he can resist me for much longer, she continued thinking. It's all an act, I know it. He's just pretending to be with Shelby, but he really wants me. Of course he wants me, she thought. No guy can refuse me. Shelby is nothing compared to me. How did he end up with her, anyways? He was probably desperate, Amber reasoned.

Amber chuckled aloud. Yeah, that's it. I've figured it out, she thought. Of course that's why he's with Shelby, he's desperate. Amber laughed again at her cleverness.

Amber rose from her bunk, and darted outside. She was supposed to be in class in mere minutes, but she didn't come close to caring.

She made her way to the woodshed, where she knew Scott would be. She opened the door, and walked inside, quietly shutting the door behind her.

"Hey Scott," she said, a smirk on her face.

Scott hadn't even noticed her presence until she had addressed him. He was surprised to find that it was Amber, and he reached for another stock of wood as he replied. "Do you need something?" he asked.

Amber's smirk grew broader. "Yeah," she said, drawing nearer to him.

Scott stopped what he was doing momentarily, and asked, curiously, "What are you doing?"

Amber grabbed the front of his shirt. "C'mon,"she said, "I know you want me. And I want you, too."

A puzzled look came over Scott's face, as he removed his shirt from her grasp. "Listen," he said impatiently, "when did I ever give you indication that I 'wanted' you?"

"But you do, don't you?" Amber replied obliviously.

Scott rolled his eyes impatiently, and returned to his wood-chopping duties. "Amber, reality check, I'm with Shelby."

"But you don't want her, do you?"

"Actually, I do," Scott replied easily, as he swung the axe down, splitting the log in two . "More than the world. I'm on shuns, I don't have to talk to you."

A broad grin spread over her face as she replied, "I'm not asking you to talk."

Scott grabbed another piece of wood to slice. "Amber, get the hell out of here. Why don't you go bother someone else?"

At this remark, Amber was furious, and smacked Scott across the face.

"What the hell?" Scott commented.

"Stop lying to me!" Amber screamed angrily.

But that was too much, and Scott erupted in a fit of laughter, while Amber, seeing that her endeavour was unsuccessful, stalked off, to find another prey.



It wasn't hard to find, as she came across a cute, raven-haired boy, sitting alone, sketchbook in hand. She wondered why he wasn't in class, but not for long, as she came and sat down beside him.

"Hey," she said to him.

"Hey," Adrian replied distantly.

"What are you doing?"

"Drawing," he said, not even glancing towards her. Ever since Erika had gone, he hadn't been the same.

"Want to have some fun?" she asked, grinning.

"No," he replied easily.

"Why not?" Amber demanded.

"Because you're not Erika," he responded.

"Who the hell is Erika, and there's no way she's better than me," Amber said haughtily.

"Actually there is," Adrian replied, still not even bothering to look at her.

Amber yanked him off the ground. "C'mon," she said, grabbing his hand and leading him towards the janitor's shed.





Shelby lay on her bunk, alone in the girl's dorm, journal in hand.

So many emotions flooded her head, it was hard to distinguish them all, let alone write them down. She knew Peter would be reading her latest entry, and so she addressed it directly to him. A journal entry, that was, by far, unlike any she'd written. It read, 'I hate you for this. You may have saved my life, but for this, I will hate you forever. I can't forgive you for this, for allowing this to happen, for having this fall upon me.'

Tears streamed down her cheeks, as she continued writing. 'I hate you. I want to kill you for making me think that I have to separate myself from Scott.'

She dabbed at her teary eyes, and glanced to her watch in one motion. It was 12:32 pm, and she hadn't attended Scott and her's daily meet-up at the janitor's shed. Something that Scott was bound to notice.

She had come to a decision, deciding to go along with the plan, despite all the pain it caused her. And would cause Scott. She reasoned that Scott had a future to live, and could still go do it. It would be like saving his future, saving his life.

She hated the decision she had come to, but she felt that it was necessary beyond her control, and that Daisy's words rung true. She had no choice.

Shelby heard footsteps approaching, familiar footsteps, long, casual strides. She prayed that it wouldn't be who she already knew it was.

Shelby closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply, knowing what she must do. She had recited what she would say a thousand times in her head, but to actually enact it, out loud, to Scott..

A knock came at the door, followed by it opening to reveal a familiar, gorgeous figure, the one she loved with every ounce of who she was. Scott.

Shelby didn't look at him when he entered, didn't think she could face him and say what she had to say. She opened her journal to a blank page, and started writing- her feelings. Her very feelings, to keep from exploding into a thousand shards. She jotted down, 'Nervous. Scared. Devastation.'

She didn't see it, being so engrossed in her journal, and concentrating so hard to not look at Scott, that there was a small smile on Scott's face at the mere sight of her. They were both living in oblivion.

"Hey," he said, closing the dorm room door behind him. "You're late, you know."

Shelby closed her eyes, and recited what she had to say aloud. "Go away Scott," she said quietly, but directly. In her journal she wrote, 'I hate myself.'

Scott furrowed his brows. "What?" he said, glancing around the room. "What's going on?" When no reply came, he took a few steps towards her, saying, "Shelby?"

Shelby didn't look at him, but she could feel him drawing nearer, and she fought to contain herself. "Scott, we're on shuns," she said quickly, impatiently.

"And Shelby, I love you," he replied.

Shelby squirmed when he had said this, and jotted down 'Dread. Horror,' in her journal. She felt like she'd erupt in tears at any moment. "Yeah?" she replied, against her will. "Well, it's not mutual."

Scott's face was blank, as if swaying between confusion and horror. "What? What's up with you?"

Shelby jotted down 'Agony', in her journal. She suddenly turned to him, and found that he was mere feet away from her. "Did you hear that Scott? I don't love you."

But she had been right when she had thought that she wouldn't be able to say the words, and face him. A tear emerged onto her cheek, but she quickly brushed it away, and diverted her gaze.

"Yesterday you did," she heard Scott reply.

"Yeah," she began angrily, "well yesterday's gone." Tears now ran freely down her cheeks.

"Are you alright?" Scott asked, taking a few steps closer, wanting to hold her and wipe away her tears. "Shel tell me what's wrong."

Shelby tossed her journal and rose from her bunk, so that she was standing. "Nothing's wrong," she said, not meeting his gaze. "The only thing that's wrong is.. you."

He neared her closer, closing the space between them. Evidently, her words still hadn't caused their desired effect on him. Scott, Shelby thought distantly. You know that I still love you, don't you? So strong, not easily swayed. Damn, am I ever going to miss you.

"Shelby, look at me," he said, locking his arms around her slowly. "What's going on with you?"

Locked in his strong arms, she met his gaze. And what a beautiful gaze it was, although his eyes revealed confusion and sadness, those blue-grey depths of his were, as always, absolutely mesmerizing. She knew how it felt to be enveloped in his arms, caught up in the moment, and how beautiful those eyes of his were, but she decided that she had to memorize every last detail about him, since this would probably be the last time she'd be in his arms. Her last real glance at her one true love. What a depressing thought, she pondered, but shrugged it aside. She had to be strong.

Her eyes ran over his face slowly, assessing all that she possibly could, so that she could remember it always. He was her true love, they were destined to be together, and they both knew it. Hopefully fate would intervene when he'd gone, and they'd meet again, but there was no guarantee of that. Not even close. She remembered what Daisy had said so carefully, love was only forgotten if you allowed it to be.

She decided, that with all that she would lose, she would assure that she still, at least, had that. That if she couldn't ever be in his arms again, she would still have vivid, untarnished memories.

So she assessed everything she could in that moment, his strong jaw line, the way emotion travelled on each of his features, and those eyes, those unforgettable eyes. They pierced into the beholder, leaving a forever-lasting impression. The way it felt exactly to have no sense of time or space, for it to be like only they existed. How it felt with his arms wrapped around her so tightly.

He was looking at her so intently, and she was suddenly aware that there would not only be effects on her, but on his part as well. It killed her to know that she'd hurt him, but hopefully, the good of getting out of Horizon would overwhelm the bad.

It had been long moments since Shelby had said anything, wearing a blank face, which prompted a thoroughly confused Scott to say, "Shelby?"

She looked straight at him. Oh my god, she thought. I can't do this. His blue eyes bore into her, and she couldn't look away.

If she had thought that the mere concept of convincing Scott that she didn't love him was horrifying and unthinkable, actually doing it, locked in his arms and his gaze, was an infinity worse. Actually doing it while those eyes of his bore into her was the entire world's agony inside her, tearing her apart, its magnitude unmeasurable.

Shelby opened her mouth to speak, and forced the words out. "I don't love you," she said, praying that her face betrayed no emotion, and that her knees wouldn't buckle from under her.

Scott didn't say anything, he merely stared, baffled, at the girl of whom he had promised to spend forever with. His grip on her loosened, and without another glance in her direction, he turned and departed, so thoroughly confounded.

In that moment, like so many times before, Shelby's world shattered from under her, and she collapsed onto her bunk, horrified at what she had just done, to herself, to Scott. All for Scott's father, and the knowledge that Scott would be alright, and would make something of himself. She had thought that it would be for the better.



Scott only made it a few steps outside of the dorm, when he collapsed against the exterior wall, his head in his hands, trying to make sense of the unimaginable that he seemed to have fallen upon.