Chapter Nine: Hello
Asuka stared out the dark, rain-painted window of her classroom and wondered how much longer she'd have to wait here before going home. She glanced up at the wall clock. Another three and a half hours. Her sighs were interrupted by the bell that signaled a break for lunch. A small smile came to her face as she reached for her box lunch and quickly turned into a glaring frown at finding none.
"That lazy little baka..." Looking around the room, she searched for the boy that was supposed to have made her a meal, just like he usually did. Maybe he's in the restroom, or the halls, she thought. "Hey, Kensuke!"
At hearing his name yelled by that voice, the young Mr. Aida instinctively jumped to the side. Seeing that nothing had been thrown he turned to face the fortunately pacified Asuka. "Yeah?"
"Where's Shinji? He forgot my lunch."
"Then I guess he forgot to bring himself, too. He's not here today." The eager glass-covered eyes took on an air of interest. "Working at NERV, perhaps?"
"Maybe." Her voice trailed off, giving Kensuke the distinct impression of total apathy on her part. Disappointed, the military buff returned to his sandwich.
Asuka began to walk away but stopped abruptly. "Hey, Ayanami's absent too."
"Working, perhaps?"
A pause. "Yeah, that's probably it," she said. "She's always at work. Too good to come to our humble little school, is she?"
"Hey, go easy on Rei," said Kensuke, his own reflexive forcefulness startling them both. "I mean...you know. She's a good person. I'm sure she's doing something important."
"She's just a stupid doll," Asuka said under her breath, and walked back to her seat.
Playground school bell rings...again...
Rainclouds come to play...again...
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I am your mind
Giving you someone to talk to...
Hello...
Her mission complete, Asuka strolled proudly away from the desk of a now-lunchless student. His jaw was still slightly agape, but even as the new kid he knew not to challenge the class bomb on anything, lest she go off.
She sat down and began rummaging through her ill-gotten paper bag. "An apple...soda...a sandwich. Not bad. Now what kind is--"
The school PA system screeched on and, in a grainy, static-riddled voice, blurted out, "Asuka Langley-Sohryu, please report to the office." As the message cut to pure electrical buzzing and then silence, all eyes shifted from the box on the wall to its victim.
"Hey, what are you looking at?" she yelled. Promptly the bomb squad shut up and resumed doing...whatever. Even as they wisely pretended to ignore her, the crowd's eyes followed Asuka out of the classroom.
Though she wondered why she, of all people, would be called to the office, Asuka's overgrown self-confidence ensured that she didn't dread the meeting like so many of the lesser students that surrounded her everyday. She boldly strode into the modernly furnished cave of the principal.
"You called?" she asked, displaying a cheerful fake smile.
He raised his eyes from the fax printout in front of him to the girl it concerned. "You're Miss Sohryu, correct?" At her confirming nod, he continued. "I'm afraid I have some bad news from a Dr. Akagi. Do you know her?" Asuka answered in the affirmative, her smile fading a bit at the condescending manner of such a foolish old man.
"There is a girl in your class by the name of Rei Ayanami. I understand you two were friends?"
"Hardly, sir. We're classmates and coworkers at best. And why do you say 'were friends'?"
"Well..." His mouth remained open, his eyes searching the distance for the right words. "Perhaps it would be best if you read this for yourself."
Asuka reached across the desk to accept the faxed note, which had been folded shut. "Thank you, sir. May I be on my way?"
"Don't you want to read it now?" he asked concernedly.
"No thank you, I'll read it in class. May I go now?"
The old man frowned, but reluctantly agreed. His last words to her were quickly forgotten and lost in the short burst of German expletives muttered as the door shut behind her. "I don't want a memo about Ayanami. I don't want anything to do with that frigid little doll. And her, my friend? I don't give a damn about her. She should just drop dead and do us all a favor."
As the doorknob turned, so did the heads of the cameraless paparazzi. Most saw her customary warning glare and turned away, but the ever-brash Touji ignored the danger and went as far as to do the unthinkable: to talk to her. "Hey, Asuka, what was that office business about?"
"None of yours, but the principal had to give me some letter." She casually sat down and tried to ignore the moron talking at her.
"What about?"
Asuka sighed. "Something about Ayanami. I haven't read it yet," she said with a subtle pride.
A hand reached from behind her and grabbed the paper, yanking it away before Asuka could stop it. "Well," said the quickly leaving Touji, "if you're not gonna read it..."
Asuka was out of her seat in an instant, chasing him. Touji smiled widely and read out loud as he ran. "Miss Sohryu..."
"Give me that, you jackass!" she yelled.
Undeterred, he continued, jumping chairs and the occasional interfering leg. "We regret to inform you that..."
Touji stopped dead in his tracks. Asuka slid to a halt, barely avoiding a collision with the noisy roadblock. "Hey! Don't just stop like that, I almost tripped over you! Hey, are you listening to me?"
He stood, staring at the paper in disbelief. "Asuka..."
"What is it now? Come on, give me that thing or I'll..."
"Rei is dead."
The entire room fell instantly silent. Not a footstep fell, not a desk leg squeaked along the tile floor. Even the chalk-toting parrot-teacher paused to assimilate this latest bit of news.
"What?" demanded Asuka.
The paper dropped to the floor. "She's...dead."
"Let me see that." Asuka picked it up and skimmed through. Her brow furrowed as she read: "Yesterday...huh. Killed herself." She tossed it back to Touji and walked back to her seat, straight-faced. "I'm not surprised."
Sensing a group of people staring, Asuka looked over to meet their wide-eyed gaze. They stood there in complete silence. "What?"
As Kensuke quietly made his way to the back of the room, Hikari also separated from the group and took a seat next to her, keeping the stare going. "Asuka...she's dead."
"I know. I heard him the first time."
"But...how can you be so calm about this?"
"Calm about what?" she asked nonchalantly. "Rei died. So what? She was never really alive anyway."
A voice came from behind them. "Shut up."
Mildly angered at all this undue attention, Asuka turned to face the opposition. "Excuse me?"
"How can you just sit there like nothing's wrong? Like you don't care at all?" Kensuke's voice trembled with rage. "You heartless bitch."
The others gasped. Whispers of "Did you hear that?" and "I can't believe he said that!" passed from spectator to spectator.
By now, Asuka had risen from her desk and stood, toe-to-toe, with a teary-eyed Kensuke. A long silence passed before she broke it in a low, restrained voice. "For your sake, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. But I'm not going to take more of this from any of you. I never liked Ayanami, and I don't need your pity. Goodbye."
With her eyes narrowed and thoroughly dry, Asuka stormed out of the classroom and toward home, leaving nearly two dozen people to stare at the door in silence.
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I am the lie
Living for you so you can hide...
Don't cry
The sliding door slammed behind Asuka, closing her room off from the rest of the world. As soon as that seal was complete, the one within her mind that kept sadness at bay broke. In it came: the emotions felt by all, even her. Touji's shock, Hikari's sadness, Kensuke's uncharacteristic anger, it all came flooding into her fragile mind, past the walls of self-defense and to the real Asuka, the one the world never saw.
"Damn it," she whispered, "why do they have to make me feel? I don't want their sadness..." But even as she said it, that sadness burst out in the form of tears.
"I don't want this..." she sobbed. "Please take this burden from me..." But no one answered. "Damn it, Rei, why did you have to die?"
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here:
All that's left of yesterday...