Kelso
On the way to get our food we passed some toys. They had Lego's and G. I. Joe's. "Hey Eric look!" I said pointing at the G. I. Joe's.
"Yeah Kelso I have almost all of them ever made," He said and then picked up one. "But I don't have this one!"
"Oh are you gonna buy it?" I asked. Finally Eric was in a good mood and not yelling at me for kicking him out of the room. Well I didn't Big D did but he still has to yell.
"Yeah man!" He said and started to run to find a Saler.
"Wait up I don't want to get lost!" I called and caught up to him.
He paid for the G. I. Joe and we walked to the Mexican Stand. I got tacos and Eric got a taco salad. He doesn't like tacos cause it gets him dirty and Donna yells at him. Donna has been so crabby lately and has taken it out on me. Like last night I heard her hitting her pillow so I got into bed with her to calm her down but she grabbed me by the ear and started punching me. Gosh I was just trying to be nice and make her feel better but no. Big D just needs to relax a little.
"Where are they?" Eric asked me.
"Who?" I asked.
"Kelso!" He responded. "Are you that stupid?"
"No!" I answered. "Oh you're talking about the kosher midget and Jackie?"
"We were suppose to meet back at this table," He said.
"Are you sure cause they got tables that look exactly like it all around," I answered.
"They went and got lost!" He yelled. "And I'm stuck with crap shoes*,"
"It was on fire!!* Hey Eric who would you rather be stuck with? Big D or me?" I asked cleverly.
"For once Kelso I'm glad its you," He said.
"Thanks Eric," I responded and he gave me an odd look.
We sat down and ate.
"Eric lets go talk to them!" I said pointing at a bunch of hot girls. "No Kelso, I'm engaged remember! If I talked to them I would be in more trouble with Donna," He said.
"Hey man who's gonna be your best man at the wedding?" I asked. I would make a good one. I mean I'm man pretty so I would make Eric look a little better for being friends with me and I can make up stuff off the top of my head like the time we tried to steal the High sign for Hyde for his birthday. I had to lie to Red so I could make up a pretty good toast for the wedding.
"I don't know yet Kelso," He answered.
"Come on Eric, let me be it. I'm good looking and responsible I always carry a condom." I answered.
"Well what about the time when Jackie thought she was pregnant?" He asked.
"That was just one time," I answered. "Plus that time the condom broke."
"Right," He said and laughed.
"No seriously. I got the three things every woman looks for. I'm hot and I'm smart*," I responded.
Now Eric started laughing harder. That was mean of him. I'm a loyal friend to him more loyal then Hyde or Fez.
"I never dated Donna," I said smartly. Man today is my day!
"Yeah Kelso you can be my best man," Eric said all the sudden serious.
"Thanks man!" I said happily. Now I don't have to pay to rent a suit or anything and the best man gets to dance with the maid of honor. And Jackie is definitely gonna be Donna's maid of honor and if she isn't it'll be Valerie. And Valerie is hot! So either way I'm lucky.
"Yes!" I exclaimed.
"But I'm gonna need to test you," He said.
"Alright," I don't care. I know I'm not good at school tests but this is different so I might do good.
" I can't believe I'm doing this but you need to hold the keys to the cruiser and if you don't loose them then you can be my best man," He said. He started to give me the keys and I went to take them but he wouldn't let go.
"Come on Eric!" I yelled and he let go. I put them in my pocket and we threw our trash out.
"Lets go look for more toys!" I said and with that we left the food court.
We walked for a while and I bought a yo-yo and some more Lego's cause Casey threw them out last time he came home. Eric was looking for a gift to give Donna so she wouldn't be mad at him.
"I know what to get Donna!" Eric exclaimed.
"What?" I asked.
"A typewriter," He said. "She would love one of those so she can type up her stories,"
"Maybe I should get Jackie a present," I told him.
"Kelso she isn't gonna want another rubber chicken," He said.
"Eric I'm not gonna get her another rubber chicken. Do you think she would like my yo-yo?" I asked. "Or a slinky? Yeah she would like a slinky cause it's shiny and she likes shiny things,"
"Yeah Kelso buy her the slinky," Eric agreed.
"Alright!" I walked over to the Saler. There was all this cool spacey stuff, like these figures of men in white suits and these machine guys.
"Kelso! You found the Star Wars stuff!" He said and walked over to me.
"Took you long enough," We heard a voice say. We turned around to face Donna. "Where were you?" He asked.
"We waited at the table Hyde picked out and none of you came back so Fez and I have been walking around trying to find Star Wars stuff cause we knew you two would show up eventually," Donna said. "Now we just have to find Hyde and Jackie,"
"Well look what I bought you," He said shoving the big package towards her.
"Aw, Eric it's a typewriter," Her face softened.
"Yeah," He replied happy she was finally calm.
"I love it that was so sweet!" She said.
"Lets go get my candy now!" Fez said happily
"Come on guys," Eric said and lead the way.
Fez explained to me his idea about being "candy smart". He said this way he couldn't get sick again like he did the day before. This day hasn't been to fun. First we get split up then I have to hear Eric complain about Donna the whole time. And I can't get lost with Jackie. Eric can't have the decency to let me hit on hot girls.
We started looking at plates. Donna and Eric were picking out their china patterns. Jackie and I did that it's a purple and pink unicorn. I gave her a candy dish once she loved it. They made Fez hold the typewriter cause they thought I would drop it, which I wouldn't. Just cause when I lift them in the air and drop them doesn't mean I would do that to their stuff. No, they are right I would drop it.
"Hey lets buy stuff that blows up," I announced.
Donna and Eric just looked at me weird.
"What?" I asked them.
"You think they sell 'film' at a flea market?" Eric asked Donna.
"If they do I hope they sell strong stuff and Hyde buys a lot of it," Donna responded.
"Can we go now? My arms are getting heavy from the box and I want to eat my candy! What's the point in buying candy if your not gonna eat it?" Fez asked.
"Fine come on!" Eric said as they paid for their dishes. He and Donna walked in front carrying their typewriter and Fez and I followed them out to the parking lot.
Fez didn't look too happy. Donna didn't let him buy any candy cause she was looking for us the whole time. Come to think of it I didn't have very much fun either. Eric didn't let me talk to any hot girls! I mean I wouldn't let any of them hit on him since he is engaged and all. Plus there's enough of me to go around. I played with Jackie slinky. I mean why shouldn't I play with a perfectly good slinky? I'll give it to Jackie but why just let it sit there until I see her again.
"I feel bad for you," Fez said to me.
"Why buddy?" I asked.
"Cause you were stuck with Eric complaining about Donna while Hyde was with Jackie," He said.
"Damn! Now I wish I ate a corn dog. I could have gotten lost with her and had secret make out time with her!" I yelled. "But she won't make out with him. He's just kosher,"
"Ah my blind American friend," He said.
"Hey look over there!!" I said.
There was a group of tall blondes standing by a Ford Mustang.
"Lets go talk to them!" I said.
"Hey Kelso give me my keys back first," Eric called.
I started digging for the keys in my pockets. At first I thought I lost it but I found it and started to throw it to him.
"Kelso!" he yelled.
"What?" I asked.
"You threw it into the grade!" he yelled. "It went down the sewer!"
The girls turned to face me. I walked over to the grade and stuck my hand in it. This was disgusting but all the girls were watching. I knew I could impress them.
"Use the slinky!" Eric yelled. "Straighten it out and then make a hook out of it,"
So I did that and I stuck in the sewer. After several attempts I finally got it. And the blondes started to clap.
"All in a days work!" I said and walked over to give the keys to Eric.
"Michael?" I heard a high-pitched voice call to me. I turned around.
"Annette?"
* Are quotes from that 70s show
On the way to get our food we passed some toys. They had Lego's and G. I. Joe's. "Hey Eric look!" I said pointing at the G. I. Joe's.
"Yeah Kelso I have almost all of them ever made," He said and then picked up one. "But I don't have this one!"
"Oh are you gonna buy it?" I asked. Finally Eric was in a good mood and not yelling at me for kicking him out of the room. Well I didn't Big D did but he still has to yell.
"Yeah man!" He said and started to run to find a Saler.
"Wait up I don't want to get lost!" I called and caught up to him.
He paid for the G. I. Joe and we walked to the Mexican Stand. I got tacos and Eric got a taco salad. He doesn't like tacos cause it gets him dirty and Donna yells at him. Donna has been so crabby lately and has taken it out on me. Like last night I heard her hitting her pillow so I got into bed with her to calm her down but she grabbed me by the ear and started punching me. Gosh I was just trying to be nice and make her feel better but no. Big D just needs to relax a little.
"Where are they?" Eric asked me.
"Who?" I asked.
"Kelso!" He responded. "Are you that stupid?"
"No!" I answered. "Oh you're talking about the kosher midget and Jackie?"
"We were suppose to meet back at this table," He said.
"Are you sure cause they got tables that look exactly like it all around," I answered.
"They went and got lost!" He yelled. "And I'm stuck with crap shoes*,"
"It was on fire!!* Hey Eric who would you rather be stuck with? Big D or me?" I asked cleverly.
"For once Kelso I'm glad its you," He said.
"Thanks Eric," I responded and he gave me an odd look.
We sat down and ate.
"Eric lets go talk to them!" I said pointing at a bunch of hot girls. "No Kelso, I'm engaged remember! If I talked to them I would be in more trouble with Donna," He said.
"Hey man who's gonna be your best man at the wedding?" I asked. I would make a good one. I mean I'm man pretty so I would make Eric look a little better for being friends with me and I can make up stuff off the top of my head like the time we tried to steal the High sign for Hyde for his birthday. I had to lie to Red so I could make up a pretty good toast for the wedding.
"I don't know yet Kelso," He answered.
"Come on Eric, let me be it. I'm good looking and responsible I always carry a condom." I answered.
"Well what about the time when Jackie thought she was pregnant?" He asked.
"That was just one time," I answered. "Plus that time the condom broke."
"Right," He said and laughed.
"No seriously. I got the three things every woman looks for. I'm hot and I'm smart*," I responded.
Now Eric started laughing harder. That was mean of him. I'm a loyal friend to him more loyal then Hyde or Fez.
"I never dated Donna," I said smartly. Man today is my day!
"Yeah Kelso you can be my best man," Eric said all the sudden serious.
"Thanks man!" I said happily. Now I don't have to pay to rent a suit or anything and the best man gets to dance with the maid of honor. And Jackie is definitely gonna be Donna's maid of honor and if she isn't it'll be Valerie. And Valerie is hot! So either way I'm lucky.
"Yes!" I exclaimed.
"But I'm gonna need to test you," He said.
"Alright," I don't care. I know I'm not good at school tests but this is different so I might do good.
" I can't believe I'm doing this but you need to hold the keys to the cruiser and if you don't loose them then you can be my best man," He said. He started to give me the keys and I went to take them but he wouldn't let go.
"Come on Eric!" I yelled and he let go. I put them in my pocket and we threw our trash out.
"Lets go look for more toys!" I said and with that we left the food court.
We walked for a while and I bought a yo-yo and some more Lego's cause Casey threw them out last time he came home. Eric was looking for a gift to give Donna so she wouldn't be mad at him.
"I know what to get Donna!" Eric exclaimed.
"What?" I asked.
"A typewriter," He said. "She would love one of those so she can type up her stories,"
"Maybe I should get Jackie a present," I told him.
"Kelso she isn't gonna want another rubber chicken," He said.
"Eric I'm not gonna get her another rubber chicken. Do you think she would like my yo-yo?" I asked. "Or a slinky? Yeah she would like a slinky cause it's shiny and she likes shiny things,"
"Yeah Kelso buy her the slinky," Eric agreed.
"Alright!" I walked over to the Saler. There was all this cool spacey stuff, like these figures of men in white suits and these machine guys.
"Kelso! You found the Star Wars stuff!" He said and walked over to me.
"Took you long enough," We heard a voice say. We turned around to face Donna. "Where were you?" He asked.
"We waited at the table Hyde picked out and none of you came back so Fez and I have been walking around trying to find Star Wars stuff cause we knew you two would show up eventually," Donna said. "Now we just have to find Hyde and Jackie,"
"Well look what I bought you," He said shoving the big package towards her.
"Aw, Eric it's a typewriter," Her face softened.
"Yeah," He replied happy she was finally calm.
"I love it that was so sweet!" She said.
"Lets go get my candy now!" Fez said happily
"Come on guys," Eric said and lead the way.
Fez explained to me his idea about being "candy smart". He said this way he couldn't get sick again like he did the day before. This day hasn't been to fun. First we get split up then I have to hear Eric complain about Donna the whole time. And I can't get lost with Jackie. Eric can't have the decency to let me hit on hot girls.
We started looking at plates. Donna and Eric were picking out their china patterns. Jackie and I did that it's a purple and pink unicorn. I gave her a candy dish once she loved it. They made Fez hold the typewriter cause they thought I would drop it, which I wouldn't. Just cause when I lift them in the air and drop them doesn't mean I would do that to their stuff. No, they are right I would drop it.
"Hey lets buy stuff that blows up," I announced.
Donna and Eric just looked at me weird.
"What?" I asked them.
"You think they sell 'film' at a flea market?" Eric asked Donna.
"If they do I hope they sell strong stuff and Hyde buys a lot of it," Donna responded.
"Can we go now? My arms are getting heavy from the box and I want to eat my candy! What's the point in buying candy if your not gonna eat it?" Fez asked.
"Fine come on!" Eric said as they paid for their dishes. He and Donna walked in front carrying their typewriter and Fez and I followed them out to the parking lot.
Fez didn't look too happy. Donna didn't let him buy any candy cause she was looking for us the whole time. Come to think of it I didn't have very much fun either. Eric didn't let me talk to any hot girls! I mean I wouldn't let any of them hit on him since he is engaged and all. Plus there's enough of me to go around. I played with Jackie slinky. I mean why shouldn't I play with a perfectly good slinky? I'll give it to Jackie but why just let it sit there until I see her again.
"I feel bad for you," Fez said to me.
"Why buddy?" I asked.
"Cause you were stuck with Eric complaining about Donna while Hyde was with Jackie," He said.
"Damn! Now I wish I ate a corn dog. I could have gotten lost with her and had secret make out time with her!" I yelled. "But she won't make out with him. He's just kosher,"
"Ah my blind American friend," He said.
"Hey look over there!!" I said.
There was a group of tall blondes standing by a Ford Mustang.
"Lets go talk to them!" I said.
"Hey Kelso give me my keys back first," Eric called.
I started digging for the keys in my pockets. At first I thought I lost it but I found it and started to throw it to him.
"Kelso!" he yelled.
"What?" I asked.
"You threw it into the grade!" he yelled. "It went down the sewer!"
The girls turned to face me. I walked over to the grade and stuck my hand in it. This was disgusting but all the girls were watching. I knew I could impress them.
"Use the slinky!" Eric yelled. "Straighten it out and then make a hook out of it,"
So I did that and I stuck in the sewer. After several attempts I finally got it. And the blondes started to clap.
"All in a days work!" I said and walked over to give the keys to Eric.
"Michael?" I heard a high-pitched voice call to me. I turned around.
"Annette?"
* Are quotes from that 70s show