Sarah: We don't own anyone but our Will and our Jack *huggles Jack*
Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*
*movie producers suddenly appear*
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!
Movie Producer: Let them go, or I'll steal all your celery sticks and crutons!
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!!
A/N: Cybercookies for reviewing go to: SpoonGirl, Mrs.Sparrow, LOTR Sparkling Pippin, happygal0101, EatEvilLeprechauns, and Savvy. WE LOVE YOU ALL!!! *ehug*
~Sarah POV~
The ride to the ceremony was uneventful, except for the fact that my *lovely* cousin Elizabitch vomited out the carriage window, due to the fact that I had laced her corset so tight. We arrived at the ceremony right on time. Elizabitch spent the entire thing gasping for breath while Laurel and I looked on in absolute smugness. Afterwards, the new Commodore asked Elizabeth if he could have a word with her. They walked over to the edge of the cliffy thing (Elizabitch with quite some difficulty). Naturally, Laurel and I followed so we could hear what they were saying. The commodore flirted with Elizabitch a bit, and she nodded politely and gasped desperately for air. Then the bloody brilliant man proceeded to propose to her.
Elizabeth's response was "I can't breathe!"
The commodore turned in all his high-n-mighty stupid-ness and said "Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself."
I quickly, in all my gleeful brilliance, snuck up behind Elizabitch and shoved her forward, causing her to fall over the edge of the beautiful cliff. However, the asinine girl also managed to grab ahold of MY hand..pulling me down with her. Damn. Bloody Hell, I thought.this is NOT the $%&*@#$ plan!!! I heard Laurel laughing hysterically as we fell.some cousin she is.
Eventually, after a loverly long fall, we hit the water. I had sort of managed to pull into a semblance of a dive, though it hadn't done me much good. I DID remember to take a deep breath before we hit, but Elizabitch couldn't because of her corset..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It was my most fervent hope that she'd die. I sank quickly to the bottom of the ocean, and my breath began to run out. OMIGOODNESS, I WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE!! AAAH!! But wait! What was THAT? A SHARK?!?!?! No.it was a man..and, as he got closer, I saw that I was a very very cute one. All of a sudden, a huge pulse surged from where Elizabeth was floating. As I ripped off my poor lurvely dress (which I would simply HAVE to have a funeral for) in order to be able to swim to the surface, I turned to look at Elizabitch. At that moment, the man reached us. He grabbed us both, but mostly Elizabitch, who looked to be unconscious. We broke through the surface, but the strange cute man with sexy black eyeliner and Elizabitch sank back down because of the weight of Elizabeth's ridiculous puffy dress. Sexy eyeliner man quickly removed Elizabitch's dress so that she was wearing only her way-too-sexy-too-be- seen-in-around-strange-cute-man shift. They broke through the surface once again, where I was floating with my mouth hanging open, and string of drool coming from my mouth, I was sure.
The strange man looked at my in concern. "Are you alright miss?"
"UgghaaannnnYes." I managed. We began to swim towards where the Dauntless, a very pretty boat belonging to our sad excuse of a navy, was docked. We reached the dock, and some dim-witted officers of the Royal Navy rushed over to help Elizabitch up onto to the dock, of course forgetting all about me. Thankfully, sexy black eyeliner man did NOT forget about me and helped me up onto the deck. The officers were frantically trying to get Elizabitch to breathe. I snickered. Haha, I hope she died. MUAHAHA! Unfortunately, sexy man figured out what was wrong and cut off her corset. Damnation. Then he noticed the gold medallion around her neck (which I happened to know she snitched from Will Turner 8 years ago on the crossing from England) and asked Elizabitch, "Where did you get this?" But just then, the fat-ass Governor, the prissy Commodore, Laurel, and some MORE officers rushed up, their guns pointed at cute man. The Governor immediately grabbed Elizabitch off the ground and threw his jacket around her shoulders, and said to the officers "Shoot him." They were going to shoot my love, whose name I didn't even know!! AAaUGH!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" I screamed and flung myself in front of him. "YOU CAN'T SHOOT HIM!!! BACK OFF YOU CHEESE BRAINED CRUTONIC MORONS!!"
The Governor glared at me. Then Elizabeth, in all her somewhat brilliance, said "Father! Do you really intend to kill my rescuer?" Much as I hated her, I really wanted to hug her just then.
"I believe thanks are in order," the commodore said, sticking out his hand. The stranger wrinkled his nose and hesitantly shook the commodore's hand. But THEN, the bloody commodore pushed up the strangers sleeve to reveal a P branded into his skin.
"Had a brush with the East India trading company did we, Pirate," the commodore said, smirking in all his bloody badness. I resisted the urge to lunge and him and scratch his eyes out.
"Hang him!" the governor commanded. I started to cry. "WAAAH!!"
"THIS ISN'T FAIR YOU NINCOMPOOPS!" Laurel yelled at them. I bawled on her shoulder.
The commodore ignored us while the governor glared his fleshy glare and pushed up the pirates sleeve further.
"Well, if it isn't Jack Sparrow," the commodore announced.
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, if you please sir," Jack said.
"I don't see your ship anywhere, Captain."
"I'm in the market."
While the commodore made fun of Jack's BEAUTIFUL effects.and his hat, I leaned over and whispered to Laurel "Captain Jack Sparrow!!! He's so CUTE!! I love him! Look at him.he's so..awwww."
Laurel nodded in agreement, and we stared and drooled for awhile. "Will is cuter," Laurel whispered. "HE IS NOT," I hissed back.
All of a sudden the piss ass commodore grabbed Jack and marched him over to where and officer was standing and waiting with irons. As the officer slapped the irons around Jack Sparrows hands, Elizabeth, Laurel, and I all stepped forward in disapproval.
"Commodore, I really must protest!" Elizabeth said.
"YOU IDJIT!! WHADDYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I cried.
"NO! BAD! THAT IS BAD! CHEESE BRAINS!" Laurel yelled.
The commodore explained boredly to us that one good deed wasn't enough to redeem him and blah blah blah.
When the officer was finished fastening the shackles around Jack's wrists, Jack said "Finally." and threw the chain binding his hands around Elizabitch's neck.
Laurel and I could barely contain our approval. I was resisting the urge to tell him to strangle her then and there. Jack asked for his effects, AND his hat (that ka-ute hat.*sigh*) and gestured for me to put them on while he pointed his pistol at Elizabitch's head. Heh. Smiling broadly, I took my time adjusting everything. As I placed his hat on his sweet little head (*cough* Ahem.yes.) I smiled flirtatiously and he smiled back. I was pretty damn sure I was going to like this guy. . .
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Laurel: Righto! *huggles Will*
*movie producers suddenly appear*
Movie Producer: Excuse me? Ahem?
Laurel and Sarah: Dammit. *huggle Will and Jack closer* YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!!!
Movie Producer: Let them go, or I'll steal all your celery sticks and crutons!
Laurel and Sarah: Pooey! *reluctantly let Will and Jack go* THEY DON'T BELONG TO US ANYMORE!!! WAAAAAAAAH!!! *sob hysterically*
Will and Jack: YAY WE'RE FREE!!!
A/N: Cybercookies for reviewing go to: SpoonGirl, Mrs.Sparrow, LOTR Sparkling Pippin, happygal0101, EatEvilLeprechauns, and Savvy. WE LOVE YOU ALL!!! *ehug*
~Sarah POV~
The ride to the ceremony was uneventful, except for the fact that my *lovely* cousin Elizabitch vomited out the carriage window, due to the fact that I had laced her corset so tight. We arrived at the ceremony right on time. Elizabitch spent the entire thing gasping for breath while Laurel and I looked on in absolute smugness. Afterwards, the new Commodore asked Elizabeth if he could have a word with her. They walked over to the edge of the cliffy thing (Elizabitch with quite some difficulty). Naturally, Laurel and I followed so we could hear what they were saying. The commodore flirted with Elizabitch a bit, and she nodded politely and gasped desperately for air. Then the bloody brilliant man proceeded to propose to her.
Elizabeth's response was "I can't breathe!"
The commodore turned in all his high-n-mighty stupid-ness and said "Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself."
I quickly, in all my gleeful brilliance, snuck up behind Elizabitch and shoved her forward, causing her to fall over the edge of the beautiful cliff. However, the asinine girl also managed to grab ahold of MY hand..pulling me down with her. Damn. Bloody Hell, I thought.this is NOT the $%&*@#$ plan!!! I heard Laurel laughing hysterically as we fell.some cousin she is.
Eventually, after a loverly long fall, we hit the water. I had sort of managed to pull into a semblance of a dive, though it hadn't done me much good. I DID remember to take a deep breath before we hit, but Elizabitch couldn't because of her corset..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It was my most fervent hope that she'd die. I sank quickly to the bottom of the ocean, and my breath began to run out. OMIGOODNESS, I WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE!! AAAH!! But wait! What was THAT? A SHARK?!?!?! No.it was a man..and, as he got closer, I saw that I was a very very cute one. All of a sudden, a huge pulse surged from where Elizabeth was floating. As I ripped off my poor lurvely dress (which I would simply HAVE to have a funeral for) in order to be able to swim to the surface, I turned to look at Elizabitch. At that moment, the man reached us. He grabbed us both, but mostly Elizabitch, who looked to be unconscious. We broke through the surface, but the strange cute man with sexy black eyeliner and Elizabitch sank back down because of the weight of Elizabeth's ridiculous puffy dress. Sexy eyeliner man quickly removed Elizabitch's dress so that she was wearing only her way-too-sexy-too-be- seen-in-around-strange-cute-man shift. They broke through the surface once again, where I was floating with my mouth hanging open, and string of drool coming from my mouth, I was sure.
The strange man looked at my in concern. "Are you alright miss?"
"UgghaaannnnYes." I managed. We began to swim towards where the Dauntless, a very pretty boat belonging to our sad excuse of a navy, was docked. We reached the dock, and some dim-witted officers of the Royal Navy rushed over to help Elizabitch up onto to the dock, of course forgetting all about me. Thankfully, sexy black eyeliner man did NOT forget about me and helped me up onto the deck. The officers were frantically trying to get Elizabitch to breathe. I snickered. Haha, I hope she died. MUAHAHA! Unfortunately, sexy man figured out what was wrong and cut off her corset. Damnation. Then he noticed the gold medallion around her neck (which I happened to know she snitched from Will Turner 8 years ago on the crossing from England) and asked Elizabitch, "Where did you get this?" But just then, the fat-ass Governor, the prissy Commodore, Laurel, and some MORE officers rushed up, their guns pointed at cute man. The Governor immediately grabbed Elizabitch off the ground and threw his jacket around her shoulders, and said to the officers "Shoot him." They were going to shoot my love, whose name I didn't even know!! AAaUGH!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" I screamed and flung myself in front of him. "YOU CAN'T SHOOT HIM!!! BACK OFF YOU CHEESE BRAINED CRUTONIC MORONS!!"
The Governor glared at me. Then Elizabeth, in all her somewhat brilliance, said "Father! Do you really intend to kill my rescuer?" Much as I hated her, I really wanted to hug her just then.
"I believe thanks are in order," the commodore said, sticking out his hand. The stranger wrinkled his nose and hesitantly shook the commodore's hand. But THEN, the bloody commodore pushed up the strangers sleeve to reveal a P branded into his skin.
"Had a brush with the East India trading company did we, Pirate," the commodore said, smirking in all his bloody badness. I resisted the urge to lunge and him and scratch his eyes out.
"Hang him!" the governor commanded. I started to cry. "WAAAH!!"
"THIS ISN'T FAIR YOU NINCOMPOOPS!" Laurel yelled at them. I bawled on her shoulder.
The commodore ignored us while the governor glared his fleshy glare and pushed up the pirates sleeve further.
"Well, if it isn't Jack Sparrow," the commodore announced.
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, if you please sir," Jack said.
"I don't see your ship anywhere, Captain."
"I'm in the market."
While the commodore made fun of Jack's BEAUTIFUL effects.and his hat, I leaned over and whispered to Laurel "Captain Jack Sparrow!!! He's so CUTE!! I love him! Look at him.he's so..awwww."
Laurel nodded in agreement, and we stared and drooled for awhile. "Will is cuter," Laurel whispered. "HE IS NOT," I hissed back.
All of a sudden the piss ass commodore grabbed Jack and marched him over to where and officer was standing and waiting with irons. As the officer slapped the irons around Jack Sparrows hands, Elizabeth, Laurel, and I all stepped forward in disapproval.
"Commodore, I really must protest!" Elizabeth said.
"YOU IDJIT!! WHADDYA THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I cried.
"NO! BAD! THAT IS BAD! CHEESE BRAINS!" Laurel yelled.
The commodore explained boredly to us that one good deed wasn't enough to redeem him and blah blah blah.
When the officer was finished fastening the shackles around Jack's wrists, Jack said "Finally." and threw the chain binding his hands around Elizabitch's neck.
Laurel and I could barely contain our approval. I was resisting the urge to tell him to strangle her then and there. Jack asked for his effects, AND his hat (that ka-ute hat.*sigh*) and gestured for me to put them on while he pointed his pistol at Elizabitch's head. Heh. Smiling broadly, I took my time adjusting everything. As I placed his hat on his sweet little head (*cough* Ahem.yes.) I smiled flirtatiously and he smiled back. I was pretty damn sure I was going to like this guy. . .
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